S02E17: 80s and 90s Cartoons

Transcript

00:00:00 Hurst
Whenever you're going to cross the roads in Eternia, make sure you look both ways and hold hands with your parents.

00:00:05 Squirrell
The special message at the end of a lot of these cartoons, right?

00:00:09 Squirrell
Inspector Gadget did it.

00:00:11 Squirrell
I think Thundercats did it as well.

00:00:13 Squirrell
I think, like, so many did it, like, "if a teacher is touching you inappropriately..." well, I don't think they ever did that one.

00:00:20 Squirrell
It was that kind of shit, oh well.

00:00:23 Harriet
Top Five face-off contains adult themes and language that some people may find offensive.

00:00:28 Harriet
Listener discretion is advised.

00:00:30 Squirrell
He's Matt Hurst.

00:00:31 Hurst
He's Matt Squirrell.

00:00:32 Squirrell
And this is Top Five Face-Off, the official world rankings of everything.

00:00:36 Squirrell
What are we ranking today, Hearst?

00:00:37 Hurst
Well, Squirrel, today we're going to be ranking the top five 80s and 90s TV cartoons.

00:00:42 Squirrell
Coming right up after this.

00:00:45 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than one, then there's a best and a worst.

00:00:48 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than five, call Squirrel and Hearst.

00:00:52 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the top five face-off, actual facts.

00:00:55 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the top fun face-off The facts are exact Top fun face-off Top fun face-off Official world ranking What's next? You decide

00:01:06 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, or good night, rankers.

00:01:10 Hurst
Welcome back.

00:01:11 Hurst
And for our new rankers, welcome to the show.

00:01:14 Squirrell
Hello.

00:01:14 Hurst
Pretty new ranker squirrel.

00:01:15 Hurst
Why don't you tell them what we're doing here and most importantly, why we're doing it?

00:01:19 Squirrell
Well, hello new rankers.

00:01:20 Squirrell
This is Top Five Face Off, the official world rankings of everything that could possibly exist.

00:01:26 Squirrell
Every single week we spin a special wheel to pick a random subject that's been suggested by our Patreons and then Hurst and I will rank the top five and the worst of that topic.

00:01:36 Squirrell
And you, the ranker at home, go to our website, www.topfivefaceoff.co.uk and vote to tell us which one of us is correct because one of us is always

00:01:45 Squirrell
Correct.

00:01:46 Hurst
Yeah, good summary.

00:01:46 Hurst
I like that.

00:01:47 Hurst
But we never get straight to the point because of course we're British, so we need to do a bit of small talk.

00:01:52 Hurst
And what do we do better in Britain than talking about the weather?

00:01:54 Hurst
How's the weather been, Squirrel?

00:01:56 Squirrell
The weather has been mostly very dry right up until today when it rained.

00:02:00 Squirrell
But before that, it's been dry for bloody ages.

00:02:02 Hurst
Yeah, I was driving back from down south earlier and it was blue skies and then suddenly it was not blue skies and it was raining so hard that I couldn't see.

00:02:12 Hurst
The rd instantly flooded and I started doing a bit of aqua.

00:02:17 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:02:17 Hurst
So yeah, stupid weather.

00:02:19 Hurst
At least I don't have to worry that any of the garden dried out whilst I was away.

00:02:23 Squirrell
Well, thank goodness.

00:02:24 Squirrell
Thank goodness, Hurst.

00:02:25 Squirrell
And was your lemon plant tucked up safely inside?

00:02:28 Hurst
Oh my God, the lemon plants had some drama recently.

00:02:31 Squirrell
Oh no, tell us all about it, Hurst.

00:02:33 Hurst
Because of this inclement weather we've been having and it suddenly getting really windy and really cold and then being all right again, the lemon plant has just shrivelled in utter protest.

00:02:43 Squirrell
Oh no.

00:02:45 Hurst
Going yellowy and horrible.

00:02:46 Hurst
So I have stuck it in like a little mini greenhouse and protecting it from all of the wind and a bit from the cold and watering it.

00:02:54 Hurst
And when the sun comes out, obviously that's giving it a bit more.

00:02:57 Hurst
So it seems to have stabilized, but it did look a bit dramatic for a bit.

00:03:03 Hurst
I'm not going to pretend that I wasn't deeply concerned.

00:03:06 Hurst
I think it's going to pull through, but that was an emotional time.

00:03:09 Squirrell
Well, for some prayers from myself, and I'm sure all the rankers, Hurst, to make sure Lemony Snicket survives the next month or so.

00:03:17 Hurst
Speaking of prayers, being the excellent Christian you are, I see that we need to let the rankers know that obviously Easter is a big, deep, emotional time for you, which is why we haven't delivered on our regular timeline.

00:03:30 Hurst
Squirrel's been deep in prayer.

00:03:32 Squirrell
I've been too busy at church.

00:03:33 Squirrell
That is absolutely not true, Red, because I just basically ****** ** my timekeeping.

00:03:38 Squirrell
I don't know what happened.

00:03:39 Squirrell
The week just completely ran away with me.

00:03:41 Squirrell
We did have it planned, right?

00:03:42 Squirrell
And then I just didn't turn up because I'm a moron.

00:03:45 Hurst
That was the Patreon special.

00:03:46 Hurst
That was the Patreon planned then.

00:03:48 Squirrell
Which we still haven't done.

00:03:50 Hurst
No.

00:03:51 Hurst
Some near 3 weeks later.

00:03:53 Hurst
Yeah, so I was there, but you'd forgotten, which is the first time that's happened in a year.

00:03:58 Hurst
So that's the only surprising thing really, is that it hasn't happened before.

00:04:02 Squirrell
And then I went on holiday to Wangford on the east coast.

00:04:06 Hurst
Wangford.

00:04:07 Squirrell
Wangford.

00:04:08 Hurst
Is it actually called Wingford?

00:04:10 Squirrell
No, it's literally called Wangford.

00:04:13 Squirrell
Look it up Rankers Wangford in Norfolk.

00:04:15 Squirrell
It's all right.

00:04:16 Squirrell
It's near the sea, isn't it?

00:04:17 Squirrell
So yeah, we didn't recall then.

00:04:19 Squirrell
And then we just couldn't make it work during the week, could we?

00:04:22 Squirrell
Our times just didn't match up.

00:04:24 Hurst
No, we've been busy bunnies.

00:04:26 Hurst
I've been down south for a couple of weekends.

00:04:28 Hurst
First of all, seeing Michael and Rachel with the juggler, friend of the show, and

00:04:32 Hurst
supplier of this week's topic.

00:04:33 Squirrell
Yes.

00:04:34 Hurst
And then this week and I have had an absolute belter.

00:04:39 Hurst
I went to see one of my absolute favorite bands last night, Blacktop Mojo.

00:04:43 Squirrell
We've heard of them before on this podcast.

00:04:45 Hurst
Yeah, the Texan Grunge Band.

00:04:48 Hurst
And I had a VIP pass and I went with my friend Lex and it was immense.

00:04:54 Hurst
So we got to go backstage, meet them and they did a little acoustic set and like press the flesh as they say in the show business terms.

00:05:03 Hurst
But they were just really, really nice blokes.

00:05:06 Hurst
And because we were a VIP, we got in early.

00:05:07 Hurst
So we all just piled to the front to be right next to the stage.

00:05:11 Hurst
And it was nice because it didn't just feel like

00:05:13 Hurst
the ticket was that quick.

00:05:15 Hurst
Yeah, his media fans are like, yeah, lovely.

00:05:17 Hurst
Like through the show, they'd see us and they'd be pointing us at one of the guitarists gave me his pick at the end of a song, just reached down point and handed it to me.

00:05:24 Hurst
Sometimes they'd flick them into the crowd, but it was like, sweet man, recognition.

00:05:28 Hurst
And they were just so, good.

00:05:30 Hurst
And so were the two support bands who I will shout out for being excellent.

00:05:34 Hurst
It was Gorilla Riot, who I think are a British band.

00:05:38 Hurst
And a guy called Braden Stewart.

00:05:40 Hurst
He's an American.

00:05:41 Hurst
He's so Texan.

00:05:42 Hurst
He wore dungarees.

00:05:44 Hurst
He could have been chewing on a piece of grass and it would look bang on, but **** me dead, he was so good.

00:05:50 Hurst
He's 20 years old and he sings southern blues like he's a 50-year-old with the weight of the world dragged around his shoulders and they were so tight and so good.

00:06:01 Hurst
I was listening to it on the way home going, yeah, so yeah, good one, Brayden, and immense work, Black Top Mojo.

00:06:06 Hurst
It was their final gig of their tour, so we just hung out with them in the bar afterwards.

00:06:10 Hurst
It was awesome.

00:06:11 Hurst
Really good times, but I am.

00:06:14 Hurst
hanging today.

00:06:15 Squirrell
Hurst is not feeling very well, everybody at home.

00:06:18 Squirrell
Children, he's had too much lemonade.

00:06:20 Hurst
Hence the renewed Barry White.

00:06:22 Hurst
The squirrel's like, Are you still ill?

00:06:23 Hurst
Like, No.

00:06:26 Hurst
Different deep voice.

00:06:28 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:06:28 Hurst
Screaming and alcohol.

00:06:29 Squirrell
Have you got anything gripping your **** or make you feel old?

00:06:32 Squirrell
Or should we jump straight into the ******* results?

00:06:35 Squirrell
Because we've already been doing this for ******* 54 minutes due to technical issues.

00:06:40 Hurst
I mean, I can't think of anything that's really gripping my ****.

00:06:43 Hurst
Last night,

00:06:43 Hurst
I know, I was gripping my **** so actually I'm going to tell you about that.

00:06:47 Hurst
It was classic.

00:06:49 Hurst
If it hadn't worked out well, I would still be fuming now.

00:06:53 Hurst
I was staying in this fairly low rent.

00:06:56 Hurst
from booking.com.

00:06:57 Hurst
It was only 62 pounds, but it was supposed to be two beds.

00:07:00 Hurst
One of them was actually a pull-out sofa bed that was really tiny.

00:07:04 Squirrell
Where was it?

00:07:05 Squirrell
London.

00:07:05 Hurst
No, Southampton.

00:07:06 Squirrell
Oh God, proper South.

00:07:08 Hurst
Yeah, and there's a kind of grubby little place.

00:07:10 Hurst
It's like, well, it's fine.

00:07:11 Hurst
It's just two lads.

00:07:12 Hurst
We'll be okay.

00:07:13 Hurst
And they had a little key safe outside, so they just send you the code on an e-mail and you let yourself in.

00:07:19 Squirrell
This is a hotel, not an Airbnb.

00:07:21 Hurst
Well, it's on booking.com, but it's blatantly an Airbnb.

00:07:24 Hurst
because it has like a little kitchen.

00:07:26 Squirrell
Oh, that's right, key safe, yeah.

00:07:27 Hurst
I thought on the right, well, I don't want to risk losing the key, so I'll jam those back in the key safe and off I went and I took a lot of photos and videos and I realized quite early on that I was down under 30% of my phone's battery life.

00:07:40 Hurst
So I'll switch to plane mode, I'll turn off Wi-Fi and Bluetooth and all those things, close everything except the camera so I can get all the photos I want for the event.

00:07:48 Hurst
Even in spite of 10 pints and

00:07:51 Hurst
Five nasty shots.

00:07:53 Hurst
I managed to stumble my way directly home.

00:07:56 Hurst
I was thinking, yeah, I'm pretty pleased with myself.

00:07:57 Hurst
And I went to the key safe.

00:07:58 Hurst
Oh, your phone's got the number on it and you don't know the number.

00:08:02 Hurst
And I was like, okay, key safe.

00:08:04 Hurst
I think I only moved it to launchers.

00:08:06 Hurst
It's like, **** no, I didn't.

00:08:09 Hurst
Okay, let's try and get it back to where it was so we can work it out.

00:08:11 Hurst
Could we, could we ****?

00:08:13 Hurst
We can barely see.

00:08:16 Hurst
I've still got about 8 or 9% left on my phone.

00:08:19 Hurst
Go to my emails and suddenly that 8% dropped to four.

00:08:23 Hurst
So it's like, that's not acceptable phone.

00:08:24 Squirrell
Could your email's quicker?

00:08:27 Hurst
So I'm looking at it's like, I can't find this ******* thing.

00:08:29 Hurst
I was like, where is it?

00:08:30 Hurst
Where is it?

00:08:30 Hurst
And then the phone just switched itself off.

00:08:32 Hurst
No.

00:08:32 Hurst
So I was standing there going, ****.

00:08:37 Hurst
I genuinely

00:08:38 Hurst
I can't think how we're going to access it because Lex had none of the information we needed for getting on.

00:08:44 Hurst
I did manage to quickly give him the guy's number.

00:08:47 Hurst
I screenshotted it and sent it to him just in case, but it was half one in the morning.

00:08:50 Squirrell
I was going to say it's late.

00:08:51 Hurst
I can't think for a second he was going to answer his phone.

00:08:53 Hurst
And then I looked over the road and there was a pub and they were just closing up, like wiping the surfaces down.

00:08:58 Hurst
So I ran over and said, excuse me, don't suppose you have a charger.

00:09:02 Hurst
I've got a bit of a situation with a key lock and I need to access an e-mail and

00:09:08 Hurst
I can't do it.

00:09:09 Hurst
And Millie shout out to Millie, amazing.

00:09:12 Hurst
Said, yeah, of course, no problem.

00:09:13 Hurst
Good one, Millie.

00:09:13 Hurst
Funnily enough, you're not the first person this has happened to.

00:09:17 Hurst
That was a surprise, but a pleasant one.

00:09:19 Hurst
So yeah, she let me plug the phone in and after about 10 minutes, it had enough charge to go and add, could I find the e-mail?

00:09:27 Hurst
I'm so sorry.

00:09:28 Hurst
I know it's in here somewhere.

00:09:29 Hurst
And most drunkenly, this took probably 10, 15 minutes.

00:09:33 Hurst
Soberly, I would have just immediately checked my deleted emails just in case.

00:09:38 Hurst
And that's exactly where it was.

00:09:39 Hurst
Why don't you delete that?

00:09:41 Hurst
I don't know why I would have deleted it.

00:09:43 Hurst
I know.

00:09:44 Hurst
Yeah, so the moment of the phone going off, that **** we're stuck outside until about 7:00 in the morning.

00:09:51 Hurst
Then I've got to drive home.

00:09:53 Hurst
So yeah, that was a horrible thing, but...

00:09:56 Hurst
So much love for Millie.

00:09:57 Hurst
The pub is called the Wellington Arms in Southampton, off Park Road.

00:10:02 Hurst
Barmaid, Millie, if you're ever in the area, go in and buy a pint and say, Hurst loves you.

00:10:07 Hurst
Oh.

00:10:07 Squirrell
Do you want to find out what happens?

00:10:10 Hurst
Yeah, we probably better had, since I've just added another 5 minutes to the preamble.

00:10:15 Squirrell
Editing.

00:10:16 Squirrell
Well, we were talking about smells, Hurst, thanks to excellent Patreon.

00:10:20 Squirrell
And we don't know what the new name is yet, but we've got some suggestions in the comments right now for our higher level of Patreons.

00:10:28 Squirrell
But anyway.

00:10:29 Hurst
Yeah, what's Meg got to say?

00:10:30 Squirrell
Meg says, this is really close because I also like to snort marker pens until I get dizzy.

00:10:36 Squirrell
But it's tough to beat bread, says Meg 98.

00:10:40 Squirrell
So Meg votes for you.

00:10:43 Squirrell
Fully agree, Meg.

00:10:44 Squirrell
Just snort on the

00:10:45 Squirrell
them pairs until you feel a bit faint.

00:10:48 Squirrell
Good work.

00:10:48 Squirrell
Another vote for you.

00:10:51 Squirrell
He says, My dog has no nose.

00:10:53 Squirrell
Please don't ask me about it.

00:10:54 Squirrell
It was a traumatic accident and it isn't a joke.

00:10:57 Squirrell
Hurst busting out the classic this week, playing to the crowd.

00:11:00 Squirrell
Solid win, nothing to sniff at.

00:11:01 Squirrell
That's from Trooper.

00:11:04 Squirrell
Two votes for you so far, Hurst, but here we go.

00:11:07 Squirrell
Coming back with this one.

00:11:08 Squirrell
Love both lists.

00:11:09 Squirrell
The traction engine did it for me.

00:11:11 Squirrell
I love the smell of them at fairs and also the smell of steam train engines.

00:11:14 Squirrell
Cheers, Kov.

00:11:16 Squirrell
My suggestion for the new Patreon name is top tier rankers.

00:11:23 Squirrell
Not bad.

00:11:23 Squirrell
Not bad.

00:11:24 Squirrell
That's quite a good one.

00:11:26 Squirrell
Coming up.

00:11:27 Squirrell
This is a vote for you, Hearst.

00:11:29 Squirrell
I almost forgot to vote.

00:11:30 Squirrell
Well, it's a good job you had quite a lot of extra time to do it then, the vision.

00:11:34 Squirrell
Season of Hearst gets strung in day by day.

00:11:38 Squirrell
******* ********.

00:11:39 Squirrell
Tough one this week.

00:11:40 Squirrell
Mow grass and clean sheets narrowly beat out squirrels barbecue party.

00:11:45 Squirrell
Also from the supporter hub, top 20 Top Five Face Offers club.

00:11:49 Squirrell
No, wait, that's ****.

00:11:51 Squirrell
I'll think of something else, says Gaztap.

00:11:53 Squirrell
Thank you, Gaztap.

00:11:54 Squirrell
Oh, the face officers club.

00:11:56 Squirrell
Face Officers Club, good.

00:11:58 Squirrell
Face Officers, maybe.

00:12:00 Squirrell
Write that down or something.

00:12:01 Squirrell
Oh no, don't need to write it down.

00:12:02 Squirrell
Literally recording this.

00:12:05 Squirrell
That's how this works.

00:12:07 Squirrell
Wow, we've got **** in the last three weeks.

00:12:09 Squirrell
Oh, ******* hell.

00:12:10 Squirrell
Got ****.

00:12:11 Squirrell
Got **** up.

00:12:12 Squirrell
Got **** up.

00:12:14 Squirrell
We've lowered a very low bar.

00:12:17 Squirrell
Amazing.

00:12:18 Squirrell
We've had to dig a hole to place the bar in.

00:12:20 Hurst
Get under that one, limbo *******.

00:12:24 Squirrell
Although I agree with Squirrel that traction engine rallies have a very evocative smell, I'm more likely to buy air freshener or deodorant from Hearst's list, says Kern.

00:12:34 Squirrell
Fine.

00:12:36 Squirrell
Dafaz here again.

00:12:37 Squirrell
Thanks for an excellent stinky episode which demonstrates how much smell is tied into memory and feelings.

00:12:42 Squirrell
One of my favourite smells is a hotel swimming pool after hours when the sun has gone down.

00:12:47 Squirrell
Probably not because it smells good, just that it has positive memory associations.

00:12:51 Squirrell
I'm going to have to give it to Hurst this week as his classic selection tickles my fancy the best.

00:12:56 Squirrell
Rank on! Thanks Dafaz.

00:12:58 Squirrell
Yes Daris.

00:12:59 Squirrell
Yes of course.

00:12:59 Squirrell
His episode as we discussed earlier.

00:13:02 Squirrell
Here's one that ******* hasn't put too much effort in.

00:13:04 Squirrell
This one just says, Vote for husband.

00:13:06 Squirrell
He smells yummy.

00:13:08 Squirrell
Flutter by Carly.

00:13:09 Squirrell
Thank you, Carly.

00:13:11 Squirrell
I abstained from voting in the Abbot episode because I don't like them.

00:13:16 Squirrell
Whoever chose Petrichor had my vote before I even listened to the whole episode.

00:13:19 Squirrell
Best smell ever.

00:13:21 Squirrell
Except for Jupe.

00:13:22 Squirrell
Squirrel's choices are those of a proper man who smells of Old Spice.

00:13:26 Squirrell
Do you smell of Old Spice, Squirrel?

00:13:27 Squirrell
says Katie.

00:13:28 Squirrell
Yeah, legitimately do.

00:13:31 Squirrell
Hi guys, it's Ohio from Ohio.

00:13:33 Squirrell
I love the smell of petrol, brackets, we call it gas because of lighter fluid, close brackets.

00:13:38 Squirrell
So Squirrel gets the American vote this time, brackets, although we don't have a great recent track record for voting.

00:13:44 Squirrell
Close brackets.

00:13:47 Hurst
Nice, political.

00:13:49 Squirrell
Thank you, Ohio, for the new name.

00:13:50 Squirrell
Ohio suggests our number ones.

00:13:57 Squirrell
Pretty good, pretty good.

00:13:59 Squirrell
Great list, but what weirdo likes the smell of petrol?

00:14:02 Squirrell
Feel better, Hearst, says Moneyslinger.

00:14:04 Hurst
Nice, thanks, Moneyslinger.

00:14:05 Hurst
I do feel better.

00:14:06 Hurst
Well, I don't today, but...

00:14:07 Squirrell
You don't, but that's still.

00:14:08 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:14:11 Squirrell
Hearst list is basically a spa day for the nostrils.

00:14:13 Squirrell
Fresh sheets, wood fires, baking breads.

00:14:16 Squirrell
Full stop.

00:14:16 Squirrell
Squirrels list, on the other hand, reads like the smells you encounter right before a health and safety officer faints.

00:14:21 Squirrell
If you say you love the smell of clean sheets, people not approvingly.

00:14:24 Squirrell
If you say you love the smell of petrol, people slowly back away while maintaining eye contact.

00:14:30 Squirrell
Keep up the great ranking from one good leg.

00:14:32 Squirrell
Thanks, one good leg.

00:14:33 Squirrell
And one good leg has explained their name to us.

00:14:36 Squirrell
One normal leg, the good one.

00:14:38 Squirrell
And one scarred and disfigured leg, the bad one.

00:14:40 Squirrell
Motorcycle accident circa 2002.

00:14:43 Squirrell
Love you.

00:14:45 Squirrell
Oh, thanks very much.

00:14:46 Squirrell
Good, chairing.

00:14:49 Squirrell
And then a couple with no name.

00:14:51 Squirrell
Not bad this week for the no names thing.

00:14:53 Squirrell
Only 2 votes, both for you as it happens.

00:14:56 Squirrell
One just says some nice smells in there.

00:14:58 Squirrell
And the other says bedding and bread gets my vote.

00:15:02 Squirrell
There we are.

00:15:02 Squirrell
Thanks, anonymouses.

00:15:03 Hurst
Anonymi.

00:15:04 Squirrell
So, Hurst, you want the results?

00:15:07 Hurst
I did.

00:15:07 Hurst
I mean, it sounded like there were more comments for me, but that doesn't necessarily mean.

00:15:13 Hurst
Did we get good votes again or has that settled down now?

00:15:16 Squirrell
We got 14 comments, Hurst, but in total we got 57 votes.

00:15:20 Squirrell
So really could go anywhere.

00:15:23 Squirrell
But it hasn't.

00:15:24 Squirrell
You got 34.

00:15:25 Squirrell
I got 23.

00:15:27 Squirrell
Big numbers.

00:15:29 Hurst
Those are big numbers.

00:15:30 Hurst
23 would have been a winning score pretty much all of last season.

00:15:34 Hurst
Yep, And most of this season.

00:15:35 Squirrell
Bad news, of course, Hurst, because it means that you have to let us know the top five spells.

00:15:41 Hurst
I'm ready this week.

00:15:43 Squirrell
Hit us.

00:15:45 Squirrell
Number 5, clean sheets.

00:15:48 Squirrell
Coming in at #4, petrichor, AKA rain on a hot pavement.

00:15:54 Squirrell
Number 3, wood fires.

00:15:57 Squirrell
Number 2, freshly cut grass.

00:16:02 Hurst
And at #1, the very greatest smell of all time is...

00:16:09 Squirrell
Fresh bread.

00:16:12 Squirrell
It is official.

00:16:13 Squirrell
They are the top five smells.

00:16:19 Squirrell
Should we rank some ****?

00:16:20 Hurst
Let's rank it.

00:16:25 Squirrell
Who's going to go first with 80s and 90s cartoons, Hurst?

00:16:28 Squirrell
How could we possibly decide?

00:16:32 Hurst
I would suggest that we flip the coin of destiny.

00:16:35 Squirrell
What a great idea.

00:16:36 Squirrell
I just happened to have it in flipping position on my thumb.

00:16:42 Hurst
It is heads first.

00:16:43 Hurst
I reckon I've just got a vibe on it.

00:16:45 Hurst
I've got a vibe on it this week.

00:16:46 Hurst
I think we're going to get an air horn at #1.

00:16:49 Squirrell
Don't think we are.

00:16:50 Hurst
Not going to put any money on it.

00:16:53 Hurst
Especially now.

00:16:54 Hurst
Anyway, let us begin.

00:16:55 Hurst
Enough of that.

00:16:56 Hurst
At #5, I have got...

00:16:59 Hurst
Dungeons and Dragons.

00:17:01 Hurst
We've talked about Dungeons and Dragons before because when we did our cartoon villains, we both had Venger in our list.

00:17:07 Hurst
We both had him really high up because *** **** terrifying.

00:17:10 Hurst
Dungeons and Dragons is, well, obviously an 80s cartoon.

00:17:13 Hurst
It followed six friends, Hank, Eric, Diana, Presto, Sheila, and Bobby, who are transported from an amusement park ride into a dangerous fantasy realm guided by the enigmatic dungeon master.

00:17:25 Hurst
And they receive special magical weapons and they attempt to find a way home whilst

00:17:30 Hurst
the ******* evil Wizard Avenger and the five-headed dragon Tiamat.

00:17:35 Squirrell
Yes.

00:17:36 Hurst
Now, a couple of things I noted when I was watching back through it.

00:17:39 Hurst
First of all, of course, it's never going to live up to the excitement of when you're a child, but you know, still an excellent premise.

00:17:45 Hurst
I've forgotten just how much I hate that stupid little unicorn.

00:17:49 Hurst
No, you were ******** about this last time, you did.

00:17:52 Hurst
Oh, that was me.

00:17:53 Hurst
It's like, stop trying to get them killed, you idiot.

00:17:56 Squirrell
This is Frank Welker, right?

00:17:58 Squirrell
Doing that voice, it was the same dude that

00:17:59 Squirrell
did Scooby-Doo and Optimus Prime, I believe.

00:18:03 Hurst
Excellent.

00:18:03 Hurst
Thanks for that.

00:18:04 Squirrell
No worries.

00:18:05 Squirrell
I don't even know if that's right.

00:18:06 Hurst
Yeah, so first of all, Uni was really annoying.

00:18:09 Hurst
Bobby, who...

00:18:10 Squirrell
The little barbarian kid.

00:18:12 Hurst
Bobby is basically Scrappy-Doo.

00:18:15 Squirrell
Yes.

00:18:15 Hurst
And the thing that really stood out to me was how casual they are about the terrifying five-headed dragon, Tearmap.

00:18:21 Hurst
Basically, Bobby Scrappy-Doo, every time Tearmap shows up, he runs up and he's like, Let me at him, let me at him! They're like, Stop Scrappy, stop Bobby, and then back.

00:18:31 Hurst
And they just don't seem anywhere near scared enough considering Avengers, you know, battle and pure.

00:18:38 Hurst
nemesisity of Tim.

00:18:41 Hurst
They just don't seem scared enough of them, which annoyed me a little.

00:18:43 Hurst
But other notes I had, Eric is a total **** ***.

00:18:47 Hurst
I should have just left in there.

00:18:48 Hurst
And Avenger had a brilliant line, which was, You have won for now, but I shall win in the end.

00:18:56 Hurst
Love that.

00:18:56 Hurst
That's excellent confidence.

00:18:58 Hurst
It's not quite, I'll get you next time gadget.

00:19:00 Hurst
It's like, just so you know, kids.

00:19:02 Hurst
I'm coming back and I'm going to come back harder.

00:19:05 Hurst
So yeah, I've Dungeons of Dragons.

00:19:06 Hurst
It was fun to watch it again.

00:19:08 Hurst
When I started out, I thought it might have been higher on my list, but it didn't age as well as some of the other things I loved.

00:19:13 Hurst
So I've stuck it in, but I don't know.

00:19:15 Squirrell
Hit number five.

00:19:16 Squirrell
All right, cool.

00:19:18 Squirrell
Number five for me is a 1997 TV series.

00:19:23 Squirrell
So it's scraping right in at the edge of the 90s.

00:19:26 Squirrell
And I should mention that we did discuss that we weren't going to include things that carried on past the year 2000.

00:19:34 Squirrell
So things like Family Guy and Futurama and South Park, The Simpsons, of course, all eligible for 80s and 90s cartoons, but not in this category.

00:19:42 Squirrell
They didn't feel right.

00:19:44 Squirrell
And when I mentioned this to you, you

00:19:45 Squirrell
You just happened to be with Rachel the Juggler at the time, right?

00:19:47 Hurst
I did indeed.

00:19:48 Hurst
And she verified that was not in the spirit of the subject.

00:19:52 Squirrell
Right.

00:19:53 Squirrell
Tough ****.

00:19:53 Squirrell
I'm not counting Johnny Bravo.

00:19:55 Squirrell
Johnny Bravo is my #5.

00:19:57 Squirrell
It started in 97 and ran on and off until 2004.

00:20:02 Squirrell
So shut up.

00:20:03 Squirrell
Even after I just said all that, I immediately went into it.

00:20:05 Squirrell
But it feels like a 90s cartoon because it isn't still on now.

00:20:08 Squirrell
And it was very much of its time.

00:20:10 Squirrell
Johnny Bravo, if you never saw it, he was like a mix between Elvis

00:20:15 Squirrell
and James Dean.

00:20:16 Squirrell
That was the premise of what they were trying to make him.

00:20:18 Squirrell
He's a good looking dude.

00:20:19 Squirrell
He says, well, mama, things like that.

00:20:22 Squirrell
And he's like hyper ripped.

00:20:24 Squirrell
Like he's just a chunk of me.

00:20:25 Squirrell
And every episode is about him trying to pick up chicks and every episode is failing miserably because he's * ****.

00:20:32 Squirrell
It's never like women are stupid.

00:20:34 Squirrell
Johnny is an idiot and women don't want to kind of get together with him because of that.

00:20:38 Squirrell
And it's legitimately really funny.

00:20:40 Squirrell
It was clearly trying to amuse the people writing it just as much as it's trying to amuse the people

00:20:45 Squirrell
watching it.

00:20:45 Squirrell
And it was, speaking of Family Guy, one of the first things that Seth MacFarlane was involved in.

00:20:50 Squirrell
So it's very good and incredibly childish.

00:20:52 Squirrell
It was on Cartoon Network, but it's great.

00:20:54 Squirrell
Johnny Bravo, #5.

00:20:57 Hurst
I mean, it's super controversial, especially as you said, be agreed.

00:21:01 Hurst
I thought if it had been over 2001 and it was more on the 90s side than the naughty side, it might have been a bit less.

00:21:10 Hurst
Yeah, I never saw it, but that does sound really funny.

00:21:12 Squirrell
It is funny.

00:21:14 Squirrell
Johnny Bravo.

00:21:16 Hurst
Okay, so that's your #5.

00:21:18 Hurst
Yep.

00:21:19 Hurst
So my #4 is He-Man.

00:21:22 Hurst
For anyone who's been living under a rock and has not heard of He-Man,

00:21:26 Hurst
He's the most powerful man in the universe.

00:21:27 Hurst
He goes against the evil forces of Skeletor to save the planet Eternia and importantly, protect the secrets of Castle Grayskull.

00:21:35 Squirrell
Not that we know what those secrets were ever at any point or why they were important.

00:21:40 Hurst
I know he did a very good job.

00:21:41 Hurst
He did a great job.

00:21:42 Hurst
We don't know why he was.

00:21:44 Hurst
No one ever found out about what they were.

00:21:46 Hurst
So.

00:21:46 Hurst
Yep.

00:21:47 Squirrell
Nailed it.

00:21:47 Hurst
He-Man went.

00:21:48 Hurst
Like Transformers, the series was created by Filmation to promote a Mattel toy after the company realized the potential in fantasy themed action.

00:21:56 Hurst
figures.

00:21:57 Hurst
So anyway, meanwhile, Skeletor wants to steal said secrets from Castle Greyskull, and he of course wants to take over the universe as previously discussed, which is why he was my top villain.

00:22:06 Hurst
Just great ambition for someone like that.

00:22:09 Hurst
Perfectly blended fantasy and science fiction with vibrant animation, and it had strong female representation.

00:22:15 Hurst
So characters like Tealer and the Sorceress, they were strong, capable role models.

00:22:19 Hurst
Made the show appealing to a more diverse audience, and it was really before that sort of thing was happening a lot.

00:22:24 Hurst
It wasn't

00:22:25 Hurst
really talked about the disparity between male role models and female role models in the 80s, but they were a bit ahead at the time on that.

00:22:32 Hurst
And it's always nice that they finished with a nice moral lesson.

00:22:35 Hurst
So Prince Adam would talk to the camera, you know, break that third wall, 4th wall, break the 4th wall in a Brecht style and say, hey kids, whenever you're going to cross the roads in Eternia, make sure you look both ways and hold hands with your parents.

00:22:49 Squirrell
The special message at the end of a lot of these cartoons, right?

00:22:53 Squirrell
Inspector Gadget did it.

00:22:55 Squirrell
I think Thundercats did it as well.

00:22:57 Squirrell
I think like so many did it.

00:22:59 Squirrell
It's like, if a teacher is touching you inappropriately, well, I don't think they ever did that one.

00:23:02 Squirrell
It was that kind of ****.

00:23:07 Squirrell
You know, I went to school at dodgy places.

00:23:09 Hurst
My only grievance I've actually come up with about the show is...

00:23:15 Hurst
Skeletor.

00:23:16 Hurst
In spite of being my greatest cartoon villain, I can't remember who won that episode.

00:23:21 Squirrell
I've got a website right here that has the official world ranking on.

00:23:24 Hurst
The guy needs shaking, man.

00:23:25 Hurst
He-Man and Prince Adam are identical.

00:23:29 Squirrell
The hair, the hair is so cute.

00:23:30 Hurst
Like, it doesn't...

00:23:32 Hurst
take that weird bowl cut off and he doesn't like put it up into like a man bun or something to make him look a bit different.

00:23:39 Hurst
The only difference, literally the only difference between He-Man and Prince Adam is that He-Man's tan.

00:23:45 Squirrell
He's took his shirt off.

00:23:48 Hurst
But even then Prince Adam's still ripped, it's like he's walking around all the bus like, man, that guy's definitely, he looks familiar.

00:23:56 Squirrell
All right, so just to let you know, that is officially the best cartoon villain of all the time you're talking about there.

00:24:02 Hurst
Yeah, he screwed the pooch a little bit there.

00:24:04 Hurst
I still maintain he was an excellent villain, loved Skeletor, but I feel that...

00:24:08 Hurst
I mean, if not him, he probably had minions for doing research and it could have started, you know, taking some photos of it.

00:24:15 Hurst
It was like, who could He-Man be?

00:24:17 Hurst
Who else is on a turn here that might have access to all of these tools and toys and feel like he could have done better, but do loves capital.

00:24:24 Squirrell
All right, cool.

00:24:24 Squirrell
He-Man, excellent show.

00:24:25 Squirrell
Number four for me is almost He-Man's sister show.

00:24:29 Squirrell
Oh no, He-Man's sister show would literally be She-Ra.

00:24:32 Squirrell
Okay.

00:24:34 Squirrell
It is not that.

00:24:34 Squirrell
My #4 is Thundercats.

00:24:36 Squirrell
Incredibly similar premise to He-Man.

00:24:39 Squirrell
It's magic and fantasy in a sci-fi world on a different planet.

00:24:43 Squirrell
There's all those things mixed together.

00:24:44 Squirrell
The Thundercats, of course, crash landed.

00:24:47 Squirrell
on Third Earth.

00:24:50 Squirrell
There it is.

00:24:51 Hurst
And hadn't Liono been frozen in time, so he still had the mind of a child, but the body of an adult?

00:24:57 Squirrell
And it's like, he was a teenager, wasn't he?

00:25:00 Squirrell
Have this really sharp sword.

00:25:02 Squirrell
He was a teenager in a ripped up dude's body.

00:25:05 Squirrell
That's right.

00:25:06 Squirrell
And yeah, they crashed on.

00:25:08 Squirrell
Well, they had to flee from Dera as it was getting destroyed and they crashed on Third Earth and immediately took upon themselves to just start ******* up the locals.

00:25:17 Squirrell
and all his mates because they decided he's bad he had to die even though they had the ones that crashed there and erected this enormous building of this weird it's meant to be a sphinx-like cat it always looked a bit like a dog to me and yeah no just started ******* with her mumura which is kind of rude but there you are yeah love thunder cats panthro was my favorite because he got to drive the thunder tank and the thunder tank was legit great how hot was sheet chitara though well I have watched this again Hurst not

00:25:47 Squirrell
Not hot, is the answer.

00:25:48 Squirrell
She's Tara's 80s power.

00:25:50 Squirrell
The hair of the shoulder pads are off the chain.

00:25:53 Squirrell
That was hot back then.

00:25:55 Squirrell
She's in a leotard with shoulder pads, man.

00:25:59 Squirrell
Something else.

00:25:59 Squirrell
And Wiley Kit and Wiley Cat.

00:26:02 Squirrell
Oh, **** ***.

00:26:03 Squirrell
They're annoying.

00:26:04 Squirrell
Snuff, not so annoying.

00:26:05 Squirrell
Not like Wiley Kit and Wiley Cat, but yeah, Thunder Cats launched in 85, 130 episodes of Thunder Cats.

00:26:12 Squirrell
That is a big number.

00:26:15 Squirrell
And

00:26:16 Squirrell
Every week, the opening iteration told you what had happened and how they got there.

00:26:20 Squirrell
And it's like, Thundercats understands that if you just shout lore at children over and over again, they'll just accept what's going on and not really question the fact that these people are trying to commit genocide.

00:26:31 Squirrell
Just gloss over that.

00:26:32 Squirrell
Number four, Thundercats.

00:26:34 Hurst
Excellent.

00:26:35 Hurst
So my number three, Transformers.

00:26:37 Hurst
So Transformers storyline centers on a civil war between 2 factions of sentient, shape-shifting alien robots.

00:26:44 Hurst
Because, you know, what is going to get a kid's motor running more than sentient, shape-shifting alien robots?

00:26:50 Hurst
Homoic Autobots and the evil Decepticons turn Earth into a battleground.

00:26:54 Hurst
Led by Optimus Prime and Megatron, they battle over the Allspark or other energy sources to restore their dying home planet.

00:27:02 Hurst
So again, turning up on another planet and plundering its resources.

00:27:06 Hurst
Yeah, so they want the

00:27:07 Hurst
energy source to restore their dying planet, Cybertron, or I think Megatron kind of wanted it to conquer the universe.

00:27:14 Hurst
So all hail Megatron.

00:27:15 Hurst
The original 1984 Transformers cartoon was, of course, created specifically to sell toys.

00:27:21 Hurst
Hasbro partnering with Marvel Comics to create characters and stories for exciting robot toys using the show to market new toy releases, characters often introduced in the cartoon just purely to drive sales.

00:27:33 Hurst
Best advertising ever.

00:27:35 Hurst
I would not mind advertising nearly

00:27:37 Hurst
as much.

00:27:38 Hurst
If it was all like Transformers, they should start doing a bit more of that kind of advertising, although it's probably harder to sell perfume with an ongoing storyline.

00:27:47 Hurst
Quick, Optimus Prime is wearing Hugo Boss for meds.

00:27:51 Hurst
This week he's wearing Davidoff cool water.

00:27:55 Hurst
Our Megatron's decided to go for the Old Spice.

00:27:58 Hurst
Yeah, of course he has.

00:27:59 Hurst
I'm not sure that it would work quite as well, but it was a great idea.

00:28:02 Hurst
They were iconic character designs and innovative concept of the sentient robot.

00:28:08 Hurst
Good voice acting, notably Peter Cullen's Optimus Prime.

00:28:10 Hurst
I think we've mentioned Peter Cullen already, haven't we?

00:28:13 Squirrell
Oh, is it not Frank Welker?

00:28:14 Squirrell
Oh, I've confused.

00:28:15 Squirrell
Frank Welker did Megatron, didn't he?

00:28:17 Squirrell
I got them mixed up.

00:28:18 Squirrell
Yes, Peter Cullen's did Optimus Prime, and he did it again in the movies, right, with Michael Bay movies, although he was sounding pretty sure, and he was clinching, of course.

00:28:29 Hurst
Yeah, it's it was a great show.

00:28:32 Hurst
It again hasn't.

00:28:33 Hurst
aged as well as you'd hope it would, but it is still pretty brilliant.

00:28:38 Hurst
And I just love that dysfunctional Starscream, Megatron relationship.

00:28:42 Hurst
Starscream, because you're going, I'm going to take over Megatron.

00:28:44 Hurst
You're not good enough.

00:28:45 Hurst
I'm going to I'm going to stab you in the back one day.

00:28:47 Hurst
And Megatron's like, yeah, go away, Starscream.

00:28:51 Squirrell
Get ****** you tiny little thing.

00:28:53 Hurst
Why don't you just kill him?

00:28:55 Hurst
He's sitting there saying, I'm going to take over and ruin all of your plans and I can be in charge of the Decepticons.

00:29:00 Hurst
If I was Megatron, I'd have just wiped him out.

00:29:02 Squirrell
Stamp on him or shoot him with your own.

00:29:03 Squirrell
entirely huge gun laser arm, which you can never hear anything with, except for rocks and buildings, when appropriate.

00:29:10 Hurst
Yeah, and that was good fun.

00:29:11 Hurst
I did enjoy Transformers a lot of the time.

00:29:13 Hurst
A few years back, I bought an Optimus Prime, like the original toys in box, and just holding the box, looking at the little stick when you put your finger over and it heated up and told you if it was Decepticon or what, it turned purple or red, just all of those little bits.

00:29:27 Hurst
And I just remember looking at it and the stats on the back and having this wild nostalgia blast from when I got Optimus Prime as a kid.

00:29:33 Hurst
And it was possibly the greatest day of my childhood.

00:29:37 Hurst
So the toys were excellently designed and put together.

00:29:41 Hurst
They were actually really difficult to transform a lot of the time.

00:29:45 Hurst
You couldn't mid-game go, Autobots roll out.

00:29:48 Hurst
It's like, right, give me 5.

00:29:50 Squirrell
Yeah, that's right.

00:29:51 Squirrell
Yeah, I'm going to turn it into a truck.

00:29:53 Hurst
Yeah.

00:29:53 Squirrell
So why were they trucks?

00:29:54 Squirrell
Why were they disguised as trucks if they're on an alien world?

00:29:58 Squirrell
They don't know what trucks are.

00:30:00 Hurst
I think we probably need to gloss over a lot of that, because it's the same thing for aeroplanes and handguns, tape decks.

00:30:10 Hurst
If you put that string, it all falls apart pretty.

00:30:13 Hurst
Pretty fast.

00:30:14 Squirrell
Yeah, that's true.

00:30:15 Squirrell
All right, let's move swiftly on.

00:30:16 Squirrell
To my #3, already been mentioned, Hurst, is Dungeons and Dragons.

00:30:20 Squirrell
Hooray! 1983 to 1985, a mere 27 episodes, Hurst.

00:30:25 Squirrell
That's all.

00:30:26 Hurst
That's all.

00:30:26 Squirrell
28 were written.

00:30:27 Squirrell
They never filmed the last one where they got back home.

00:30:30 Squirrell
So they're still stuck there as far as anyone is concerned.

00:30:34 Hurst
******* Eric's fault, I reckon.

00:30:37 Squirrell
Maybe.

00:30:39 Hurst
Eric and Uni conspired to go and stay there forever.

00:30:42 Squirrell
Yeah, there we go.

00:30:43 Squirrell
I mean, they nearly got home, they got really close once, and that was mostly down to Eric.

00:30:46 Squirrell
But we won't go into that.

00:30:47 Squirrell
I watched an episode.

00:30:48 Squirrell
What episode did you watch?

00:30:49 Squirrell
Because I watched the first one again.

00:30:51 Hurst
Yeah, the one where Tiamac comes in, they stick him down in a hole, and then he comes back out and fights Venger and they narrowly escape.

00:30:57 Squirrell
I watched that one, and I watched the one 2 minutes to midnight or whatever it was called, the clock strikes me, I don't know.

00:31:02 Squirrell
But there's a giant clock where all the children who have also come from Earth.

00:31:06 Squirrell
somehow were like being used as slaves to push a clock that never struck midnight.

00:31:10 Squirrell
It was a bit Sisyphean.

00:31:12 Squirrell
It was legitimately quite scary.

00:31:13 Squirrell
I can imagine that was like, if I was a kid watching this, I might be a bit scared of what's going on right now.

00:31:18 Hurst
It was a scary show.

00:31:19 Hurst
It was brilliant.

00:31:21 Squirrell
It was good.

00:31:21 Squirrell
But yeah, these kids, as you said, they got transported.

00:31:24 Squirrell
They went on the Dungeons and Dragons ride, and that was a bad ride.

00:31:27 Squirrell
to go on because to zap them through a portal to this magical world where they were given incredibly high level weapons off the bat.

00:31:33 Squirrell
If you were playing Dungeons and Dragons, got handed any of the weapons these ***** had, you're done.

00:31:38 Squirrell
That is the end.

00:31:39 Squirrell
You're like, right, I'm going to sell this and retire forever.

00:31:42 Squirrell
You are good.

00:31:43 Squirrell
But yes, Dungeons and Dragons, obviously the kids wanted to use it to get back home.

00:31:48 Squirrell
So I won't go into it anymore.

00:31:49 Squirrell
You've already talked about it, Dungeons and Dragons.

00:31:50 Squirrell
Good ****.

00:31:51 Squirrell
Number 3.

00:31:52 Hurst
Yeah?

00:31:53 Hurst
No, good call.

00:31:53 Hurst
Right, let's get to my #2, which is The Mysterious Cities of Gold.

00:32:01 Hurst
A French-Japanese animated adventure series about Esteban, an impulsive 12-year-old Spanish orphan, searching for his father and the legendary Seven Cities of Gold in the 16th century New World.

00:32:13 Hurst
Along with his friend Zia and Tao, he explores ruins, encounters Spanish conquistadors, discovers advanced ancient technology, and what makes it exceptional and unlike many

00:32:23 Hurst
of the other cartoons of its time is that it was a mix of high stakes serialized adventure.

00:32:30 Hurst
It was an ongoing story.

00:32:31 Hurst
It was like actually reading a book rather than each episode could stand on its own.

00:32:35 Hurst
Like any given He-Man episode could have slotted anywhere into any of them.

00:32:40 Hurst
But I started watching this and we are currently on episode 5 and Carly's watching it with me.

00:32:46 Hurst
I mean, you look past the fact that there's a little bit of naffness to it because it's, 80s, French, Japanese, with dubbed English over the top.

00:32:55 Hurst
But it's a really good story and there's fear, there's uncertainty, there's doubt, all of those things that make you think, are they going to drown on this ship?

00:33:03 Hurst
Like the voyage over the seas to get to the Americas is fraught.

00:33:07 Hurst
They hit storms, they get discovered, they almost go overboard a few times.

00:33:10 Hurst
It is tantalizing, it's continuous sophisticated plot paired with a proper musical

00:33:16 Hurst
score.

00:33:17 Hurst
It is legitimately still a good cartoon and it's an engaging story.

00:33:21 Hurst
So that was the biggest surprise for me.

00:33:24 Hurst
I expected a lot of these things to be nowhere near as good as I remembered them.

00:33:29 Hurst
And I remembered precious little about this, apart from there was a big golden condor that flying in.

00:33:33 Squirrell
Golden falcon.

00:33:34 Squirrell
Oh, it was a condor, was it?

00:33:35 Squirrell
Yes, that's right.

00:33:35 Squirrell
Yes.

00:33:36 Squirrell
That's all I remember.

00:33:37 Squirrell
And the music.

00:33:38 Hurst
And one of the dudes on the boat, one of the sort of sidekicks of the, not Pesterbahn, I forget the main guy's name, but he's got this quite weird monkey face.

00:33:47 Hurst
I remembered it from a kid.

00:33:48 Hurst
He's just got these big sort of round dowy face.

00:33:51 Hurst
And it still looks like a monkey today.

00:33:53 Hurst
It's really bizarre.

00:33:54 Hurst
It's just a brilliant series and I'm excited to keep watching because I don't remember what

00:33:59 Hurst
happened and I didn't want to read ahead.

00:34:01 Hurst
I didn't want to, for the sake of the show, I was like, this is what happened.

00:34:03 Hurst
It's like, no man, I need to watch this.

00:34:06 Hurst
I need to let it unfold.

00:34:07 Hurst
But it's brilliant.

00:34:08 Hurst
Highly recommend it.

00:34:09 Hurst
You can find it on YouTube.

00:34:10 Hurst
They've got all of the episodes on it.

00:34:12 Hurst
Anyone can look at it.

00:34:13 Hurst
So Mysterious Cities of Gold, #2, love it.

00:34:17 Squirrell
Yes, and the music, superb.

00:34:19 Hurst
So good.

00:34:19 Squirrell
Yeah, Right, my #2, now earlier, I suspect I'm going to chop it out because we were just chatting **** at the time, but Hurst was saying how he's got a strange vibe for this episode, that we're going to have the same number one.

00:34:32 Squirrell
I have a funny feeling I'm about to ruin that.

00:34:35 Squirrell
Are you?

00:34:35 Squirrell
My #2 is Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles.

00:34:39 Squirrell
All right, no, I'm still on.

00:34:41 Squirrell
All right, okay, interesting.

00:34:43 Squirrell
Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles in the UK, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

00:34:47 Squirrell
the USA and well, everywhere else.

00:34:50 Squirrell
193 episodes of the original run they did her score from 87 to 96.

00:34:56 Squirrell
And it was based on a comic book series by, uh, somebody called Baird.

00:35:01 Squirrell
And I forgot the other person's name and it's not written down away notes.

00:35:04 Squirrell
Sorry about that.

00:35:05 Squirrell
And that comic series was kind of just taking the **** out of Marvel's Daredevil.

00:35:11 Squirrell
It's a bit weird, the kind of radioactive goop that made the turtles went into the sewers because it went down the drain from

00:35:17 Squirrell
when Daredevil had his character or was run over by truck or something.

00:35:20 Squirrell
And Daredevil would fight against the hand and the turtles would fight against the foot clan.

00:35:25 Squirrell
And there was Master Stick who became Master Splinter and there's turtles.

00:35:30 Squirrell
It's like just a rip off of that.

00:35:32 Squirrell
And they must have thought, yeah, we could do this because we're just a no one comic book drawers.

00:35:35 Squirrell
And then it suddenly became one of the most popular TV shows of the freaking late 80s.

00:35:40 Squirrell
And it did.

00:35:41 Squirrell
It wasn't ever created like Transformers or He-Man or Thundercats to sell the toys, right?

00:35:45 Squirrell
Because there was a existing

00:35:47 Squirrell
This was put together to try and be a good cartoon.

00:35:51 Squirrell
But then it was just everywhere, wasn't there?

00:35:53 Squirrell
******* wallpaper, pajamas, lunchboxes, all the just billions of different toys and...

00:36:00 Hurst
So much swag.

00:36:01 Squirrell
So much merch.

00:36:03 Hurst
I had an absolutely devastating TNMT thing happen at school.

00:36:07 Hurst
I was Hero Titles anyway.

00:36:09 Hurst
You know, they had like the collectible cards.

00:36:12 Hurst
They weren't stickers because you didn't have them, but they were, that was the first playing cards you could buy.

00:36:16 Hurst
So they were massive.

00:36:17 Hurst
I was in junior school at the time.

00:36:19 Hurst
And I managed to amass loads of them just by blagging them off people who already had like one spare of them.

00:36:27 Hurst
So like I've got a second spare of that.

00:36:29 Hurst
It's like, oh, I'll just take

00:36:30 Hurst
take anyone's second spares and you've still got one there for swaps or whatever.

00:36:34 Hurst
It's just going around like negotiating.

00:36:36 Hurst
No wonder I ended up in sales.

00:36:38 Squirrell
Give me something for free that you have no reason to do yet.

00:36:42 Hurst
Yeah, but you have also no value in keeping, really.

00:36:44 Hurst
It's just clogging up your day.

00:36:45 Squirrell
Oh, that's true.

00:36:47 Squirrell
Oh, yeah.

00:36:47 Hurst
So I built up a good stash of them to the point that I...

00:36:50 Hurst
I actually had swaps of my own.

00:36:52 Hurst
And I only bought a few packs like near the ends to get over the line.

00:36:56 Hurst
And I ended up with the full collection.

00:36:59 Hurst
And on the day I completed it, I was sitting down and it was next to me.

00:37:02 Hurst
And when I wasn't looking, someone nicked it.

00:37:05 Hurst
From right where I was and I have no idea who it was.

00:37:08 Squirrell
In school.

00:37:09 Hurst
In school, someone just nicked the whole deck.

00:37:13 Hurst
Like I literally just completed it and someone nabbed it.

00:37:17 Hurst
So my career in sales obviously started the same as someone else's career in burglary and going to prison, hopefully.

00:37:24 Squirrell
Yeah, brilliant.

00:37:26 Squirrell
Which one was your favourite?

00:37:27 Squirrell
Bruce Turtle.

00:37:28 Hurst
I was always a fan of Raphael.

00:37:29 Squirrell
Yeah, that's the correct answer.

00:37:31 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:37:31 Squirrell
And in the comics, he's even better.

00:37:33 Squirrell
He's just a...

00:37:34 Squirrell
******* monster that could easily kick the **** out of the other three turtles if he wanted to.

00:37:37 Squirrell
One of the good things about the turtles, it was very simple, very identifiable for turtles, right?

00:37:43 Squirrell
You had leader, you had ******* nerd geek who would make **** and then you had Raph who was just like, got angry all the time, and then you had party idiots.

00:37:51 Squirrell
It's basically like if the Beatles had lived in the sewer and occasionally kicked a rover.

00:37:56 Squirrell
That's what you've got, it's really easy to pick a favorite.

00:38:02 Squirrell
Anyone that picked Leonardo, it was just a knob though.

00:38:05 Squirrell
So yeah.

00:38:05 Hurst
My plans though was the biggest knob though.

00:38:07 Hurst
It's like, yo, look, super cool, dude, dude.

00:38:10 Hurst
It's like, no, tone it down.

00:38:12 Squirrell
He was fun.

00:38:13 Squirrell
He was fun.

00:38:15 Squirrell
That was fine.

00:38:16 Squirrell
Anyway, #2, Teenage Mutant Ninja slash Hero Turtles.

00:38:19 Squirrell
No nunchucks in the UK.

00:38:22 Squirrell
Thank you very much.

00:38:24 Hurst
You're in Chucky.

00:38:25 Hurst
I did a grading in the nunchucky one.

00:38:27 Squirrell
There you are.

00:38:27 Squirrell
No, they're too violent to be shown on television, though, Hurst.

00:38:30 Hurst
Yeah, not too violent to be trained up with, though.

00:38:33 Squirrell
No.

00:38:34 Squirrell
How many times do you smack yourself in the head?

00:38:36 Hurst
Only once.

00:38:36 Hurst
You only ever do it once.

00:38:37 Squirrell
You ******* bet.

00:38:40 Hurst
Yeah, they were proper full-on wood and we never trained with any of the kind of the light ones to get good because you need to learn.

00:38:45 Hurst
And the rubberized ones.

00:38:48 Hurst
It's a different field to them.

00:38:48 Hurst
So I learned with the full on wooden ones that had like hexagonals, so those edges were proper, deadly.

00:38:55 Hurst
One whack in the head, you don't do that again.

00:38:57 Hurst
And you concentrate hard.

00:39:00 Squirrell
Interesting, that is why Splinter chose to give them to Michelangelo because he was so ******* casual and about everything.

00:39:07 Squirrell
He gave him nunchucks specifically because he would have to concentrate really ******* hard or he would hurt himself.

00:39:11 Squirrell
There's a lot, I can talk about this for far too long.

00:39:13 Squirrell
I will stop now because I will just keep going up always.

00:39:16 Hurst
Bravo.

00:39:16 Hurst
Bravo.

00:39:17 Hurst
That's a good call.

00:39:18 Hurst
I love your enthusiasm for the things that you love.

00:39:20 Squirrell
******* love to us.

00:39:21 Hurst
Your nerdiness is probably one of the main reasons we're friends.

00:39:23 Squirrell
You brought doughnuts into work.

00:39:29 Squirrell
You gave me ****.

00:39:31 Hurst
You gave me donuts.

00:39:31 Hurst
We both liked energy drinks and we were both able to nerd out about the things we loved.

00:39:36 Squirrell
Well, this has been a joyous episode so far, Hurst, even with your hangover, but it's time to get to the worst.

00:39:45 Hurst
You're never going to guess what my worst is.

00:39:48 Hurst
You've probably never even heard of my worst.

00:39:50 Squirrell
I don't know, I'm pretty good with 80s cartoons, man.

00:39:53 Hurst
How do you feel about Rubik, the Amazing Cube, running from 1983 to 1984, 13 episodes.

00:39:59 Squirrell
The ******* the ******* the puzzle cube, what?

00:40:03 Hurst
That's correct.

00:40:04 Hurst
Hit me.

00:40:04 Hurst
A terrible merchandise driven cartoon based on none other than the Rubik's Cube.

00:40:10 Squirrell
What the ****?

00:40:11 Squirrell
What does it do?

00:40:12 Squirrell
Just sit there and go...

00:40:15 Squirrell
Because it's a Rubik's Cube.

00:40:17 Hurst
Yeah, it was one of the first ever cartoons in the toy-based trend coming in at 1983 and lasting for a blessedly short 13 episodes.

00:40:24 Hurst
Of all of the toys that you're going to try and sell through a cartoon though, Rubik's Cube.

00:40:31 Hurst
It's like, yeah, all the cool kids at school had the Rubik's Cube.

00:40:34 Squirrell
Oh, what did it, what were they about?

00:40:36 Squirrell
What happened?

00:40:37 Squirrell
Like, what did the Rubik's Cube talk and ****?

00:40:40 Hurst
Yeah, it talked and it could only do stuff if it was solved its products.

00:40:48 Hurst
Yeah, it's the ultimate template for selling out.

00:40:51 Hurst
They also gave it a god-awful gremlin face, like hideous.

00:40:55 Hurst
What?

00:40:56 Hurst
Why?

00:40:57 Hurst
Why do you put that face on a Rubik's Cube?

00:40:59 Hurst
It doesn't look cute.

00:41:00 Hurst
It looks like it wants to eat the other characters.

00:41:03 Squirrell
Oh, it looks like an evil Smurf.

00:41:06 Hurst
Yeah.

00:41:07 Squirrell
It's got a weird blue head and little feet.

00:41:10 Squirrell
What the ****?

00:41:11 Hurst
And if you think that's bad, listen to its voice.

00:41:15 Squirrell
Rubik needs a drink of water.

00:41:17 Hurst
Anyway, enough about Rubik the Amazing Cube.

00:41:20 Squirrell
God awful.

00:41:21 Squirrell
Don't watch it.

00:41:21 Squirrell
All right, I won't.

00:41:23 Squirrell
No, to be honest, I ******* might, because that sounds absolutely incredible slash terrible.

00:41:29 Squirrell
Oh, I'm about to dig that up.

00:41:30 Squirrell
Cool.

00:41:30 Squirrell
My worst.

00:41:31 Squirrell
Oh, it was nearly Captain Planet.

00:41:33 Squirrell
Captain Planet was too ******* preachy for me.

00:41:35 Squirrell
**** *** Planet.

00:41:36 Hurst
Yeah, he wanted to take pollution down to zero, didn't he?

00:41:40 Squirrell
Shut up, Captain Planet.

00:41:41 Squirrell
But I didn't go with Captain Planet because I've got something far worse, man.

00:41:43 Squirrell
Popeye and Son.

00:41:47 Squirrell
Now, Popeye and Son won for one season and 13 episodes, much like Rubik by the sound of it.

00:41:53 Squirrell
Made by Hanna-Barbera, like the original Popeye.

00:41:55 Squirrell
But Popeye and Olive Oil were parents and they had a kid called Popeye Junior.

00:42:00 Squirrell
All right, fine.

00:42:00 Squirrell
They do that.

00:42:01 Squirrell
It just got rid of everything that made Popeye fun for kids.

00:42:06 Squirrell
Popeye was just chaos and rivalry.

00:42:09 Squirrell
of rivals, him and Bluto were fighting over who would get olive oil and they would fight all the time.

00:42:15 Squirrell
There's zero violence in Popeye's house.

00:42:17 Squirrell
No one even swings a fist.

00:42:19 Squirrell
They're just eating spinach for no good ******* reason.

00:42:23 Squirrell
It's like, it's domesticated and it's ****.

00:42:26 Squirrell
You take like a pub brawler and you put him on the parish council.

00:42:30 Squirrell
It's like so boring and so crap.

00:42:34 Squirrell
And yeah, it's just not Popeye anymore because they gave him a ******

00:42:39 Squirrell
kid who does nothing.

00:42:42 Hurst
Yeah, that's when you do a spin-off and just make something so much worse.

00:42:46 Squirrell
Yeah, so there we are.

00:42:47 Squirrell
Popo's son.

00:42:47 Squirrell
****.

00:42:48 Hurst
No, fair.

00:42:49 Squirrell
Fair and a good call.

00:42:51 Squirrell
Enough about the worst Hurst.

00:42:53 Squirrell
How's about the first Hurst?

00:42:54 Hurst
Let me hit you with some knowledge here.

00:43:02 Hurst
The greatest of all of the 80s and 90s cartoons is Batman the Animated Series.

00:43:09 Hurst
It's

00:43:10 Hurst
Incredible.

00:43:11 Hurst
It's so good.

00:43:13 Hurst
It's really not for children.

00:43:14 Hurst
I mean, it was, but it really wasn't.

00:43:16 Hurst
It's legendary for its dark film noir aesthetic.

00:43:20 Hurst
It's got really mature storytelling that didn't pander to children at all.

00:43:24 Hurst
It actually treated them like real people rather than, here's something stupid for you to understand, little child.

00:43:30 Hurst
Like, kids get stuff.

00:43:32 Hurst
And it was dark.

00:43:34 Hurst
It was everything that you'd hope from Batman if you were an adult.

00:43:38 Hurst
So it was iconic voice acting.

00:43:40 Hurst
by Kevin Conroy and Luke Skywalker doing the voice of Joker, Mark Hamill.

00:43:48 Hurst
It redefined Batman with deep character exploration, focusing on emotional storytelling over just pure action.

00:43:55 Hurst
Because I looked at X-Men as well and that's still really good, but it was very action, action, action.

00:44:00 Hurst
Also good music.

00:44:01 Hurst
Definitely good music.

00:44:02 Hurst
But the Batman was like, no, the action will be there just to punctuate the story and yeah, great design.

00:44:10 Hurst
So the artistic style, they called it Dark Deco.

00:44:14 Hurst
They did all of the animation on black paper rather than on white paper to create a dark, timeless atmosphere.

00:44:20 Hurst
And that merged with modern technology with the 1940s aesthetics.

00:44:24 Hurst
The villains were actually sympathetic characters and the writing was excellent.

00:44:28 Hurst
So there's an episode called Heart of Ice, which provides like a deep emotional backstory for Mr.

00:44:34 Hurst
Free.

00:44:34 Hurst
So it makes the characters rather than here's a villain

00:44:37 Hurst
Batman's got to defeat him.

00:44:38 Hurst
It's like, here's this villain, here's his complicated backstory, here's how it all fits together.

00:44:42 Hurst
It's like proper storytelling.

00:44:44 Hurst
So excellent casting, still infinitely watchable now.

00:44:48 Hurst
I'm definitely going to carry on watching episodes after we're long finished with this just because it's

00:44:53 Hurst
It's great.

00:44:54 Hurst
They use like wide space shots on it as well.

00:44:57 Hurst
So to give an emphasis of scale and size, they'll be in this room and it won't be up close with them.

00:45:04 Hurst
The shot will start from the far side of the room with them over in a corner just to give an idea of scale.

00:45:10 Hurst
It's brilliantly, cleverly put together.

00:45:13 Hurst
And I was surprised that of everything I went back to look.

00:45:17 Hurst
It's like, I remember that being good.

00:45:19 Hurst
This is the only one that is better than I remember it being.

00:45:23 Hurst
because now I can enjoy the nuance a bit more as an adult than I did as a kid.

00:45:27 Hurst
But the animation, the stories, the characters, it's just, it's spectacular.

00:45:31 Hurst
Anyone who hasn't watched it for a while, go find it.

00:45:34 Hurst
I think it's, I watched it on Amazon Prime.

00:45:37 Hurst
So if you've got an Amazon Prime account, you can watch it for free.

00:45:40 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:45:41 Squirrell
And who doesn't?

00:45:41 Hurst
Yeah.

00:45:42 Hurst
So #1 for me, Batman, the animated series or BTAS.

00:45:46 Squirrell
BTAS.

00:45:47 Squirrell
That BTAS sounds like a K-pop band, right?

00:45:51 Hurst
Or just some industry acronym?

00:45:53 Squirrell
Yes.

00:45:54 Squirrell
Fact and estimated fact me, please.

00:45:56 Hurst
Okay.

00:45:57 Hurst
Fact.

00:45:58 Hurst
Rick Moranis, off of everything in the 80s and 90s, voiced the ventriloquist Arnold Wesker in the season one episode, Read My Lips.

00:46:06 Hurst
Fact.

00:46:07 Hurst
Before Batman the Animated Series, Mr.

00:46:10 Hurst
Freeze was just a joke villain.

00:46:12 Hurst
In the comics, he was just a generic ice gun bad guy.

00:46:15 Hurst
But DC loved what BTAC had done so much that they rewrote the character to match it in the comics.

00:46:24 Squirrell
Now, I haven't seen Batman the Animated Series.

00:46:29 Hurst
Oh, right.

00:46:31 Squirrell
Which does put your idea of escaping the same #1 rather the guy back.

00:46:35 Hurst
Yeah, I'm surprised.

00:46:36 Squirrell
I know I should have done.

00:46:37 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:46:38 Squirrell
When I was younger, I didn't really like Batman.

00:46:40 Squirrell
I don't know why.

00:46:41 Squirrell
Because I quite like Batman now.

00:46:42 Squirrell
So I have no real idea about this.

00:46:44 Squirrell
What year did you say it came out?

00:46:46 Hurst
1992 squirrel, because I did all my research.

00:46:48 Squirrell
Oh, right.

00:46:48 Squirrell
Of course you did.

00:46:49 Squirrell
So.

00:46:50 Squirrell
No, I reckon Moranis was gone by then, wasn't he?

00:46:53 Squirrell
Oh, it was quick because he was...

00:46:54 Hurst
No, he was still filming Honey, I Shrunk the Kids or Blew Up the Baby or something around the 90s, wouldn't he?

00:47:01 Squirrell
His wife died and he stopped.

00:47:03 Squirrell
That's why he stopped to raise his kids.

00:47:06 Squirrell
I'm going to...

00:47:07 Squirrell
Yeah, no, maybe it was a bit after.

00:47:08 Squirrell
All right, I'm going with Moranis.

00:47:10 Squirrell
I don't reckon Marvel, sorry, DC Comics, not Marvel Comics.

00:47:13 Squirrell
DC Comics were ever so stuck up about this kind of thing.

00:47:15 Squirrell
I don't think they would take inspiration from one of the cartoons.

00:47:18 Squirrell
So I'm going to go with Rick Moranis being the answer.

00:47:21 Hurst
Finally, I've managed to get one pass to you.

00:47:23 Squirrell
They did actually.

00:47:24 Hurst
He went from being just a nothing ice gun bad guy and it was such a great story for such depth of the character that they loved it and they went on to reconning or something.

00:47:37 Hurst
Retconning, that's it, retconned.

00:47:39 Hurst
I didn't use that word because I thought you'd know Hurst would never use that word.

00:47:43 Hurst
So I had to go find a different one for it.

00:47:45 Hurst
No, but they did retcon the story to make Mr.

00:47:47 Hurst
Freeze a better character.

00:47:49 Hurst
And then of course the film came out and Arnie made him look like a knob again and that was that.

00:47:53 Squirrell
That is true.

00:47:54 Squirrell
But then the video game came out and it was back to him trying to kind of save his wife.

00:47:58 Squirrell
And the same thing in Harley Quid.

00:47:59 Squirrell
But there we are.

00:48:00 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:48:01 Squirrell
Yeah, should have watched it.

00:48:02 Squirrell
Didn't.

00:48:02 Squirrell
Not my number one.

00:48:03 Squirrell
So the mystery of what is a squirrel's #1 cartoon from the 80s.

00:48:08 Squirrell
There were two shows that made teeny tiny little squirrel run to the sofa on a Saturday morning and not move for however long they were on TV, which felt like an hour to us kids, but was probably like 20 minutes right.

00:48:21 Squirrell
One of them was Around the World with Willy

00:48:23 Squirrell
Fog, which hasn't made my list.

00:48:25 Squirrell
So I watched it again.

00:48:26 Squirrell
It actually wasn't very good.

00:48:27 Squirrell
It was all a bit kind of **** but oh God, the song 80 days around the world.

00:48:32 Squirrell
It's great, right?

00:48:33 Squirrell
Excellent theme tues on all the kids shows.

00:48:35 Squirrell
It feels like, right?

00:48:37 Hurst
Back then.

00:48:38 Squirrell
The other one is a similarly animal based retelling of an old book, Hersk.

00:48:44 Squirrell
Can you guess what it was?

00:48:46 Hurst
Tanyan.

00:48:46 Squirrell
Dog ************* Tanyan and the three muscat hounds.

00:48:51 Squirrell
Holy ****.

00:48:52 Squirrell
Did I love Dog Tanyan?

00:48:54 Squirrell
It is a show from 1981, so early 80s.

00:48:58 Squirrell
Only had 26 episodes, but those 26 episodes lasted the entire summer holidays.

00:49:03 Squirrell
Every year it felt like they were on.

00:49:05 Squirrell
That was something like Bell and Sebastian and Oxtails or something, but God, it was good.

00:49:10 Squirrell
I loved it.

00:49:10 Squirrell
It's a Spanish show, surprisingly, originally in Spanish, Spanish slash Japanese co-production by

00:49:16 Squirrell
BRB International.

00:49:17 Squirrell
Be Right Back International.

00:49:19 Squirrell
And Nippon animation.

00:49:21 Squirrell
Lovely.

00:49:21 Squirrell
And obviously it's based on Alexandre Dumas's The Free Musketeers.

00:49:26 Squirrell
And yeah, like I said, it hit the BBC in 85.

00:49:30 Squirrell
So I would have been seven.

00:49:32 Squirrell
Prime Dogtanian age, man.

00:49:34 Squirrell
And it's just really classy and charming and it's proper literary source material and it just turns anywhere into fuzzy animals and they trick kids.

00:49:46 Squirrell
into learning about like French history and **** because they involve dogs and it's just really, really ******* good.

00:49:55 Squirrell
And normally you'd expect these things to be, like you said with, I can't remember if you said it for Batman or for whatever you're number two.

00:50:03 Squirrell
Wow, not doing very well at remembering.

00:50:04 Hurst
Serious Cities of God, which was interestingly a French-Japanese adventure.

00:50:11 Squirrell
They were like, the kids will get it.

00:50:12 Squirrell
We're going to give them the story.

00:50:14 Squirrell
The kids will understand what's going on.

00:50:15 Squirrell
We don't need to

00:50:16 Squirrell
And I'm sure they did dumb it down to somewhat.

00:50:19 Squirrell
I mean, for a start, it wasn't in ******* French, was it?

00:50:21 Squirrell
You know, we had Milady the talking cat because, you know, we know there's something wrong with the cat, spoilers.

00:50:27 Squirrell
It's just educational without feeling educational.

00:50:30 Squirrell
It's a gateway trip to Damas and court intrigue and dueling and France, generally.

00:50:36 Squirrell
Betrayal and honor and ******* theme tunes is just going to colonize your skull for the next 40 years as it did for me.

00:50:43 Squirrell
So yeah, my number one, the excellent.

00:50:46 Squirrell
Tanning and the Three Musker Hounds.

00:50:48 Squirrell
I look forward to you reading all four one.

00:50:51 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:50:53 Squirrell
Would you like a fact in an estimated fact about Dog Tanning and the Three Musker Hounds?

00:50:58 Hurst
I think right now there's nothing I want more.

00:51:01 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:51:02 Squirrell
Well,

00:51:03 Squirrell
Dogtanion became the face of Neuritur Pochion.

00:51:07 Squirrell
Apologies to any French people that may be listening about me butchering that French dog food that I'm sure you have heard of.

00:51:14 Squirrell
And he's still used in the adverts on TV and billboards and **** to this day.

00:51:19 Squirrell
Dogtanion.

00:51:20 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:51:22 Squirrell
the 2014 live-action BBC show The Musketeers was a much more serious, adult-based version of The Three Musketeers, the same book, right?

00:51:32 Squirrell
But contained many scenes and storylines lifted straight from Doug Tanyan and The Three Musketeers that weren't in the actual book.

00:51:39 Squirrell
So, yes, I've been doing some copying.

00:51:41 Hurst
Oh, that's nice.

00:51:45 Hurst
Now, the first one, I don't know any French, so I was.

00:51:51 Squirrell
I would not have done any better.

00:51:56 Hurst
The fact that they're still using the advertising today, I just don't feel like Tony.

00:52:01 Hurst
I know there was a movie came out.

00:52:03 Squirrell
A movie came out a couple of years ago.

00:52:05 Hurst
Two or three years ago.

00:52:06 Hurst
Did have a research list because I had to go to see that at the cinema with one of my service users.

00:52:10 Squirrell
Oh, I bet it was ****.

00:52:11 Squirrell
I was going to talk about that and then didn't because I assumed it would be terrible.

00:52:14 Hurst
Not as bad as I was expecting.

00:52:15 Squirrell
It was all bad computer graphics, right?

00:52:18 Hurst
Yeah.

00:52:19 Hurst
If you look past it, the story was all right.

00:52:21 Hurst
It was passable.

00:52:22 Hurst
I've seen worse things at the cinema.

00:52:24 Squirrell
Presumably it was the same story, just condensed down into two hours.

00:52:28 Hurst
I think it was the second one.

00:52:30 Hurst
I think that they lifted some of the stories.

00:52:32 Hurst
Probably because they thought, no, these are good stories and they will make for a good Dogtanion for the Musketeers TV show.

00:52:38 Squirrell
Hurst, Nurture, Pure Shan, literally translated to dog food.

00:52:42 Squirrell
You are correct.

00:52:44 Squirrell
I made that one up entirely.

00:52:46 Squirrell
Yes, the Musketeers show included storylines from Dogtanion and the Free Muscatounds.

00:52:52 Hurst
Very, very good.

00:52:53 Hurst
That's funny.

00:52:54 Hurst
Yeah, the theme tunes you said a minute ago, we should have a real nod to that.

00:52:58 Hurst
They used to make some Spanish theme tunes, didn't they?

00:53:01 Squirrell
I mean, every

00:53:02 Squirrell
Everyone can recite the Turtles free tune.

00:53:04 Squirrell
******* Bucky O'Hare nearly got on my list purely for the free tune alone.

00:53:08 Squirrell
So good.

00:53:09 Hurst
But I mean, just to counter that though, the amount of annoying sidekicks, I don't know why they felt that it was so essential to have the likes of Fez in Marshall Pave Star and all these wretches sidekicks making it worse, not better.

00:53:25 Hurst
Screw you guys.

00:53:26 Hurst
Top Five terrible sidekicks.

00:53:27 Hurst
Oh, there's no records.

00:53:30 Squirrell
But who would the worst sidekick be?

00:53:31 Squirrell
A really good one, like 20-20 from Braves?

00:53:33 Squirrell
Was it 20-20 or 40-40, the horse?

00:53:35 Hurst
No, 20-20 was a 40-40, I think it was.

00:53:38 Squirrell
What was next?

00:53:39 Hurst
No, he wasn't a sidekick, he was a partner.

00:53:42 Squirrell
Okay.

00:53:42 Hurst
The sidekick was definitely Fuzz.

00:53:44 Squirrell
All right.

00:53:45 Hurst
Hey, Marshall Braves.

00:53:48 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:53:49 Squirrell
**** ***.

00:53:49 Squirrell
So shoot him.

00:53:50 Squirrell
The worst, worst sidekick would be the best sidekick.

00:53:54 Hurst
No.

00:53:56 Hurst
Top Five, top five bottom sidekicks.

00:53:58 Hurst
So top five sidekicks would be the best one.

00:54:02 Hurst
Ignore that, ignore that rankers.

00:54:03 Hurst
But no, 40-40 was awesome.

00:54:05 Hurst
He had a real 2 on him.

00:54:06 Squirrell
Yeah, and a ******* massive hand cannon.

00:54:09 Hurst
He's BA Barakos, wasn't he?

00:54:12 Squirrell
Yeah, that's true.

00:54:13 Squirrell
Yeah, there's a reason we don't do top five negative lists, and that's probably it.

00:54:17 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:54:17 Squirrell
All right.

00:54:18 Squirrell
Well, there you go, rankers.

00:54:19 Squirrell
Which one of us is correct?

00:54:21 Squirrell
One of us is correct.

00:54:22 Squirrell
One of us is always correct.

00:54:23 Squirrell
Let's see what we're going to do next, Grill.

00:54:25 Hurst
Spin that.

00:54:26 Hurst
that wheel of decisions.

00:54:27 Squirrell
I'm going to spin it, Hurst.

00:54:29 Hurst
Spin, spin, sugar.

00:54:30 Squirrell
If she goes, wee.

00:54:33 Squirrell
And it is.

00:54:35 Squirrell
Oh, it's coming in for chick flicks.

00:54:37 Squirrell
Chick flicks.

00:54:39 Squirrell
Yes, I've been feeling you've gone waiting for chick flicks.

00:54:43 Squirrell
How do we define Hurst?

00:54:46 Hurst
I think the same way we designed Big Man actually.

00:54:50 Squirrell
If it feels wrong, it's wrong.

00:54:51 Squirrell
All right.

00:54:52 Hurst
Yeah.

00:54:53 Squirrell
All right.

00:54:53 Squirrell
Carly, please.

00:54:54 Squirrell
Look forward to that one in two weeks' time, Rankers.

00:54:57 Squirrell
You're going to find out what the best chick flick of all time is.

00:55:00 Squirrell
And hopefully by then as well, we'll have released last month's Patreon episode.

00:55:05 Squirrell
Which is going to be a person and I doing online what X am I test for each other and trying to figure out who we're going to be.

00:55:14 Squirrell
So yeah.

00:55:15 Squirrell
Maybe it's funny.

00:55:16 Squirrell
I don't ******* know.

00:55:16 Squirrell
No way.

00:55:17 Squirrell
That doesn't make people want to sign up to the Patreon.

00:55:19 Squirrell
**** it.

00:55:19 Squirrell
I've told him now.

00:55:21 Squirrell
That's the deal.

00:55:22 Hurst
It's going to be hilarious.

00:55:23 Hurst
Give us your money, internet.

00:55:24 Squirrell
Give us your money, internet.

00:55:26 Squirrell
And you can do that by going to patreon.com.

00:55:32 Squirrell
So Rankers Hurst and I've just had a quick decision about what we're going to call what was previously the support hub, right Hurst?

00:55:39 Squirrell
Yes, and it was a **** name and that's quite right.

00:55:43 Squirrell
We've now renamed it, thanks to Ohio.

00:55:45 Squirrell
Thank you, Ohio, who suggested we call them number ones or our number ones.

00:55:50 Squirrell
So we're gonna call you number ones, number ones, and the number ones who support this episode first.

00:55:55 Squirrell
Wait, I was gonna choose a silly voice for you to do it in each time.

00:55:58 Squirrell
I think this time I want someone like Megatron.

00:56:02 Squirrell
No, Starscream, I want you to read the names in this form of Starscream, please.

00:56:07 Squirrell
That pez.

00:56:08 Squirrell
Yes, chap.

00:56:13 Squirrell
Goodness, Jasmine.

00:56:16 Squirrell
That's the best ******* thing.

00:56:20 Squirrell
That's our number ones.

00:56:21 Squirrell
More people need to join our number ones just so that list of us doing stupid names gets longer.

00:56:28 Hurst
And also for the next three months.

00:56:30 Squirrell
Ohio.

00:56:31 Squirrell
Oh yeah, we're going to put Ohio.

00:56:33 Squirrell
Congrats, Ohio.

00:56:34 Squirrell
You are now a member of our number one.

00:56:37 Hurst
Test-free visa and constant recognition for your contribution to naming things.

00:56:42 Squirrell
Yes, there we go.

00:56:43 Squirrell
Thank you.

00:56:44 Squirrell
Ohio from Ohio.

00:56:45 Squirrell
You are now going to get some free...

00:56:48 Squirrell
Do I have your e-mail address?

00:56:49 Squirrell
Ohio.

00:56:50 Squirrell
Get in touch.

00:56:50 Squirrell
Hello at top5facesoft.co.uk.

00:56:52 Squirrell
Give me your e-mail address and I will sort you out with free access to our ad-free feed, which is...

00:56:58 Squirrell
all of our feeds right now because no one advertises on this ****.

00:57:01 Squirrell
And also the excellent bonus content that our Patreons get, which is always hilarious and not ****.

00:57:07 Squirrell
Like I said, it was a little while back.

00:57:09 Squirrell
We're also on Bluescribe and Facebook and all that ****.

00:57:11 Squirrell
You know that.

00:57:12 Squirrell
You know where to find us.

00:57:12 Squirrell
Come find us.

00:57:13 Squirrell
Come vote.

00:57:14 Squirrell
That's the most important thing.

00:57:15 Squirrell
topfivefaceoff.co.uk, TFFO.uk.

00:57:18 Squirrell
If you're lazy, come along, click a link.

00:57:21 Squirrell
That's all you have to do to be part of the official world rankings of everything.

00:57:26 Hurst
Indeed.

00:57:26 Hurst
So shall we.

00:57:28 Squirrell
Let's put the bins out and go to bed.

00:57:29 Squirrell
Yeah, let's put some ******* bins out.

00:57:32 Squirrell
First, my walls so plain and drab.

00:57:35 Squirrell
I am a laughing stock when I host the fashionable people that enjoy arts.

00:57:41 Squirrell
I want to buy more arts, but begad, I cannot find any on the internet.

00:57:46 Squirrell
Can you help?

00:57:47 Squirrell
You couldn't ******* help last time.

00:57:49 Squirrell
Maybe you couldn't.

00:57:50 Hurst
I think I might know a place.

00:57:51 Squirrell
Right.

00:57:52 Squirrell
Okay.

00:57:52 Squirrell
Where, where would that be?

00:57:54 Hurst
It is doghouseart.co.uk.

00:57:57 Hurst
I've added some more bits to it.

00:57:59 Hurst
I'm still working on it, but you can procure things as our excellent Patreon trooper has already done like an absolute legend.

00:58:07 Squirrell
There we go.

00:58:08 Hurst
Also, I have got a, an open studio coming up.

00:58:11 Hurst
I live in a little town called Retford in North Nottinghamshire, and on the second and third of May,

00:58:18 Hurst
I have an open studio and I'm going to be there all weekend.

00:58:20 Hurst
If anyone does want to pop in and say hello and buy art or just marvel at the art, that is, I would love to see you guys.

00:58:28 Squirrell
You know, I can't come.

00:58:29 Hurst
Well, we're doing another one at the end of the month, but I can't be around for all of it.

00:58:32 Hurst
So that's why I can't come at the ******* end of the month fever.

00:58:35 Hurst
Fair enough.

00:58:36 Hurst
Well, any other rankers or Patreons or any of our number ones, we would love to see you there.

00:58:42 Hurst
No pressure.

00:58:43 Hurst
Just be nice to see people.

00:58:44 Squirrell
All right, cool.

00:58:45 Squirrell
Please rewind this podcast for the next people to come along and we will see you in a couple of weeks' time, I hope, sorry, for Chick Flicks.

00:58:54 Hurst
Nice.

00:58:55 Hurst
All right, see you later, guys.

00:58:58 Hurst
Love you.

00:59:02 Harriet
Top Five Face-Off is presented by Matt Hurst and Matt Squirrel and produced by Powerstorm Awesome Fire Incorporated.

00:59:10 Harriet
For more details and to vote for a winner, visit topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

00:59:15 Harriet
Thanks for listening.

00:59:38 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:59:43 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:59:48 Hurst
No pressure.

00:59:49 Hurst
No, there's loads of pressure.

00:59:51 Squirrell
******* turn up, dickholes.

00:59:53 Hurst
That little pressure on the day, mate.

00:59:54 Hurst
I'm just going to ease them in the door and I'm going to slam it behind them and hard sell them at times.

00:59:58 Squirrell
You explain.

00:59:59 Squirrell
Got you.

00:59:59 Squirrell
That'll make people want to turn up.

01:00:01 Squirrell
All right.

01:00:01 Squirrell
I heard you.

01:00:02 Squirrell
Excellent work.

01:00:05 Hurst
Wellington Arms in Southampton, off Park Road, Barmaid, Ellie.

01:00:09 Hurst
If you're ever in the area, go in and buy a pint and say, Hurst loves you.

01:00:13 Squirrell
Wait, was Ellie or Millie?

01:00:15 Hurst
It was definitely Millie.

01:00:17 Squirrell
Okay.

01:00:17 Squirrell
Not Ellie.

01:00:18 Squirrell
Right.

01:00:18 Squirrell
Okay.

01:00:19 Hurst
Lovely Millie.

01:00:20 Hurst
Like I said all along, Millie, stick some of these in in place.

01:00:24 Hurst
Millie, Millie, Millie, Millie.

01:00:28 Hurst
Like if you can just put those in.

01:00:33 Squirrell
So, I have no real idea about this.

01:00:34 Squirrell
What year did you say it came out?

01:00:37 Hurst
It was in the 80s, I think.

01:00:39 Hurst
I can't remember exactly when it came out, let me...

01:00:44 Squirrell
92.

01:00:45 Hurst
92.

01:00:46 Hurst
90s.

01:00:47 Squirrell
Let's do that again.

01:00:47 Squirrell
What year did you say it came out?

01:00:49 Hurst
1992 squirrel, because I did all my research.

01:00:51 Squirrell
Oh, right, of course you did.

01:00:53 Squirrell
So...

01:00:57 Squirrell
It was 1985.

01:00:59 Squirrell
Oh, let's just take the delivery of Drake.

01:01:01 Squirrell
Hello, Carly.

01:01:04 Hurst
It says hello.

01:01:05 Squirrell
Too late, she's gone.

01:01:09 Squirrell
Oh, let me see if there's anything new on the wheel real quick.

01:01:13 Squirrell
Nope.

01:01:14 Squirrell
So moving on.

01:01:19 Squirrell
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

01:01:26 Squirrell
Let's see if I can get another shoeing this time whenever the **** we record the next episode, which I assume by now is going to be for the weaker.

01:01:35 Squirrell
Just knock some **** on the floor.

01:01:38 Squirrell
I'll ignore all that ****.

01:01:39 Squirrell
Right.

01:01:42 Hurst
Let's carry on.

01:01:43 Hurst
Let's spin the wheel of decision, shall we?

01:01:48 Squirrell
What a great idea.

01:01:49 Squirrell
I just happened to have it in flipping position.

01:01:51 Hurst
I'm wondering if you should maybe put some blue tack back on your side, because since you took it off, it has been consistently coming up first.

01:01:57 Squirrell
Well, let's see what it does today.

01:02:01 Squirrell
It's on the floor.

01:02:03 Squirrell
I can see it.

01:02:04 Squirrell
It's relaxed.

01:02:05 Squirrell
I can see it.

01:02:07 Squirrell
I have knocked it over my foot though, so I don't think we're doing that again.

01:02:12 Squirrell
Here we go.

01:02:13 Squirrell
Oh, ****.

01:02:14 Squirrell
No, dropped it.

01:02:15 Squirrell
Dude, I know.

01:02:19 Hurst
That's nice that we're coming towards the end of our second season.

01:02:21 Hurst
Who would have envisioned at the beginning that we'd actually stay motivated enough to keep going for two whole seasons?

01:02:28 Squirrell
******* not me.

01:02:34 Megatron
Starscream.

01:02:36 Hurst
DavPaz! Gazchap!

01:02:37 Megatron
Where is the cube?

01:02:40 Hurst
Goddess Jasmine. Kovaks.

01:02:42 Megatron
You fail me yet again, Starscream.

01:02:45 Hurst
Ohio!