S02E10: Adult cartoons

Transcript

00:00:01 Squirrell
my God.

00:00:01 Squirrell
It's happened.

00:00:03 Hurst
Oh my God.

00:00:04 Squirrell
We've never had a worst to first.

00:00:06 Squirrell
Hurst.

00:00:07 Hurst
It was new.

00:00:08 Hurst
We need to think about.

00:00:10 Squirrell
It.

00:00:10 Harriet
Top Five Face-Off contains adult themes and language that some people may find offensive.

00:00:15 Harriet
Listener discretion is advised.

00:00:17 Squirrell
He's Matt Hurst.

00:00:18 Hurst
He's Matt Squirrel.

00:00:19 Squirrell
And this is Top Five Face-Off, the official world rankings of everything.

00:00:23 Squirrell
What are we ranking today, Hurst?

00:00:25 Hurst
Well, Squirrel, today we are going to be ranking the top five adult cartoon TV shows.

00:00:30 Squirrell
Coming right up after this.

00:00:46 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than one, then there's a best and a worst.

00:00:49 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than five, call Squirrel and Hearst.

00:00:53 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the Top Five Face Off.

00:00:54 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the Tom Fun Face-off The facts are exact Tom Fun Face-off Tom Fun Face-off Official world ranking What's next, you decide.

00:01:08 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, or good night, rankers.

00:01:12 Hurst
Welcome back to the show, or if this is your first time, welcome.

00:01:15 Squirrell
Hello.

00:01:16 Hurst
For those who are our new rankers, why don't you tell them what we do here and why we do it?

00:01:21 Squirrell
Yes, hello, new rankers.

00:01:22 Squirrell
You're listening to this because everybody else has skipped over it.

00:01:25 Squirrell
Basically, what we do here is we get a random topic which is chosen by our Patreons and we pick the top five and the worst thing from that topic and lay it out for you, our rankers.

00:01:36 Squirrell
And then you come to our website, www..topfivefaceoff.co.uk and vote to see which one of us is correct, because one of us is always correct.

00:01:44 Squirrell
And that will become the official top five list for that subject.

00:01:49 Hurst
Excellent stuff, but we don't mind to get straight to the point because we're British, so.

00:01:52 Squirrell
No.

00:01:53 Hurst
What's been going on?

00:01:53 Squirrell
I've been to Italy, mate.

00:01:54 Hurst
You fancy that?

00:01:56 Hurst
I was in the news about you.

00:01:57 Hurst
They didn't when you came to the biscuits, you had all the fancy ones.

00:02:00 Squirrell
Yeah, although, like, yeah.

00:02:03 Squirrell
No, I had all the good ones.

00:02:05 Hurst
So, Frank, completely randomly, Swara and I both went on holiday last week, not together, and we just happened to have booked it.

00:02:13 Hurst
And in accordance with the biscuits,

00:02:15 Hurst
I went to Wales.

00:02:16 Hurst
Squirrel went to Italy.

00:02:17 Squirrell
Yes, I went to the Italian Alps.

00:02:20 Hurst
But I didn't need a passport, so that's all right.

00:02:22 Squirrell
No, that's true.

00:02:24 Squirrell
We'll be talking about passports in a bit.

00:02:26 Squirrell
But the weather, the weather was very nice in the Italian Alps.

00:02:29 Squirrell
It was around about one degree during the day, minus five during the night.

00:02:34 Hurst
Gosh, were you skiing, man?

00:02:36 Squirrell
No, we went skiing.

00:02:36 Squirrell
It was a work thing.

00:02:37 Squirrell
It wasn't an actual holiday, although obviously, you know, I still had a good time.

00:02:42 Squirrell
I didn't go skiing.

00:02:43 Squirrell
I did pack a coat

00:02:45 Squirrell
I packed like jeans and ******* thermal leggings and gloves and snow boots.

00:02:53 Squirrell
They took up **** tons of room in my luggage because we didn't have, what's it called, when it goes into the plane hold luggage, which was that kind of carry on.

00:03:01 Squirrell
And it took up loads of space, so I couldn't take as many t-shirts as I normally do, which is very sad.

00:03:05 Squirrell
And literally none of it came out of my suitcase again, because I just wore shorts and a t-shirt, because of course I did, and I don't know why I packed any of that ****.

00:03:13 Hurst
I'm guessing you weren't out in the snow that much, though.

00:03:15 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:03:16 Hurst
In shorts and a t-shirt.

00:03:17 Squirrell
Yeah, fine.

00:03:19 Squirrell
Zero degrees C is perfectly acceptable for shorts and a t-shirt.

00:03:22 Hurst
There's something wrong with you.

00:03:24 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:03:24 Hurst
You should probably get studied.

00:03:26 Squirrell
Maybe.

00:03:27 Hurst
About not getting hangovers and not feeling the cold.

00:03:29 Squirrell
Yeah, maybe.

00:03:30 Squirrell
I should donate my glorious body to medical science.

00:03:34 Squirrell
Cool.

00:03:34 Squirrell
But the weather was very good.

00:03:36 Hurst
Yes.

00:03:37 Squirrell
How was it in the Wales?

00:03:38 Hurst
Well, you'd be surprised to know that it rained A lot.

00:03:42 Hurst
As is the nature of Wales.

00:03:44 Hurst
So we were staying in a

00:03:46 Hurst
specifically, not just dog friendly, but dog specific holiday accommodation.

00:03:52 Hurst
It's a little cottage.

00:03:54 Hurst
Normally there are, well, there are two cottages semi-detached, but because it was January, we were the only ones there, which was nice, which meant we didn't have other people to wrangle with.

00:04:04 Hurst
Although they were so disturbed.

00:04:06 Hurst
A couple with their dog arrived a couple of hours before us on the Friday and left on the Saturday.

00:04:11 Hurst
Now Carly thinks that she saw them arguing and this was maybe an attempt to get away and reconcile or something that fell apart.

00:04:19 Hurst
I like to believe that because I don't want to think that it was our dogs constantly shouting through the narrow part of the wall at their dog that made them decide that their weekend was not going to last even 24 hours.

00:04:32 Hurst
I'm glad they went because every time their dog shouted, our dog shouted.

00:04:36 Hurst
It was lovely.

00:04:37 Hurst
But it was up a mountain, pretty much.

00:04:41 Hurst
So it had its own weather system, which was rain, always rain.

00:04:46 Squirrell
Nothing but rain.

00:04:48 Hurst
So to get to anywhere, you had to drive half an hour and whenever we got there, it just wasn't raining quite so much.

00:04:55 Hurst
There was a bit of rain, but mostly it was okay the second you got back to the cottage.

00:05:00 Squirrell
Absolutely ******* with rain again all right weather tick.

00:05:04 Hurst
Suppose that's a little bit of what's going on and a little bit of weather for us isn't?

00:05:08 Squirrell
It that is absolutely my what's been going on as well but would you like to know what's been gripping my go on Henny so this all started because when I went to the Italy I arrived in Italy as you do I showed my passport to the nice man of passport control

00:05:25 Squirrell
Got to the hotel, went to give them my passport to check in and didn't have it anymore.

00:05:30 Squirrell
Oh dear.

00:05:32 Squirrell
So, you know, I dealt with this as the way I normally deal with things by shrugging and seeing if it worked out.

00:05:37 Squirrell
So in the end, I had to apply for an emergency passport.

00:05:41 Squirrell
This is not what's gripping my ****.

00:05:42 Squirrell
This stuff just happens.

00:05:43 Squirrell
People have had worse problems.

00:05:44 Squirrell
It's fine.

00:05:45 Squirrell
So I got an emergency passport.

00:05:46 Squirrell
So I couldn't go through the biometric scanners and I got back to loot and I had to kind of queue up.

00:05:50 Squirrell
And this is what's gripping my ****.

00:05:54 Squirrell
There were 15 passport control booths, whatever you want to call them, when you arrive at Luton Airport.

00:06:01 Squirrell
Three of them were staffed, and one of them was purely for the people whose biometric passports weren't working properly.

00:06:07 Squirrell
So there was two people trying to deal with anyone that didn't have a British biometric passport, right, because they had to be British ones, and anyone that had children under 10.

00:06:18 Squirrell
Everyone.

00:06:19 Squirrell
Like there was so many ******* people in this queue.

00:06:22 Squirrell
And I'm thinking, this is some people's first impression of the UK.

00:06:27 Squirrell
This is the first thing they're ever gonna see.

00:06:30 Squirrell
And it is just ******* ridiculously bad.

00:06:34 Squirrell
It's so badly run and organized.

00:06:36 Squirrell
And you're just like, it was just under two hours for me to get through this queue.

00:06:40 Squirrell
And that was the shorter one because this was the queue for British people with children under 10 or without a biometric passport.

00:06:48 Squirrell
not for anyone else in the world who were in a queue that went back all the way basically to where we got off the plane.

00:06:55 Hurst
Wow, is this the new approach to net immigration that just make it seem so unappealing to holiday make us a they definitely don't want to emigrate.

00:07:04 Squirrell
It was just so ridiculous.

00:07:06 Squirrell
Like I understand that obviously sometimes people get ill and you're short staffed, but

00:07:12 Squirrell
But if this was like a business, they would not be allowed to get away with it.

00:07:16 Hurst
I feel like they should have, like at the supermarkets, when there's a big queue and suddenly someone over the tunnel goes, all multi-skilled personnel to the checkouts, please, all multi-skilled personnel to the checkouts.

00:07:29 Squirrell
That's it.

00:07:29 Hurst
And then suddenly all the checkouts have staffed, everyone goes through and then they can shut them down again and go back to their business.

00:07:37 Squirrell
Yes.

00:07:37 Squirrell
I'm aware like checking passports is probably a bit more involved than scanning things, although technically I guess you're just scanning things.

00:07:45 Hurst
Yeah, I don't see them as massively more involved.

00:07:47 Hurst
You don't even have to open a till.

00:07:49 Hurst
You just have to look at it, ask a couple of questions and then say, yeah, you look like that.

00:07:53 Hurst
Carry on.

00:07:53 Squirrell
I think knowing what to do in situations where everything isn't perfect is probably where the training kicks in.

00:07:59 Squirrell
It's like pilots, right?

00:08:00 Squirrell
95% of the time they don't really have to be there, but the 5% of the time they do need to be there.

00:08:05 Squirrell
You really want them to ******* be there?

00:08:07 Hurst
I don't think you can really liken, is that a word?

00:08:11 Hurst
I don't think you can really liken passport control to pilots.

00:08:15 Hurst
Are you looking for the word compare, mate?

00:08:17 Hurst
If it gets, if it gets intense, I bet there's a button they press and then all the burly guys and ladies with guns and stuff come around going and go, what's going on?

00:08:25 Hurst
Whereas the pilot doesn't press a button and get burly guys to land the plane.

00:08:29 Hurst
I reckon it would be well easy to do passport control.

00:08:34 Squirrell
That's offensive comment for today, for a group of people.

00:08:38 Squirrell
Your job is ******** easy.

00:08:40 Squirrell
I don't want to **** on the passport control people because obviously they were there and they were doing their best, the three that had bothered to turn up.

00:08:45 Squirrell
It's kind of the whole organization of it.

00:08:48 Hurst
I'm not ******** on them.

00:08:49 Hurst
I'm ******** on the whole industry, the whole organization, not multi-skilling people.

00:08:54 Hurst
I mean, what are they doing, man?

00:08:56 Squirrell
What are they doing?

00:08:57 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:08:57 Squirrell
Maux, let us know.

00:09:00 Hurst
Let us know what.

00:09:01 Squirrell
Airport mouths, let us know like how hard it is to be a passport control person.

00:09:06 Squirrell
Get in touch.

00:09:07 Hurst
Airport mouths, I reckon the plural there is definitely optimistic.

00:09:11 Hurst
Yeah, the speaker would probably be optimistic, but you never know.

00:09:15 Hurst
We have biscuit out last week, so you know what's been gripping my ****?

00:09:19 Squirrell
What has been gripping onto your **** Hurst?

00:09:22 Hurst
The ******* dogs have been getting on my test real bad.

00:09:25 Hurst
So we took the worst two away, Eddie and Doug, because...

00:09:29 Hurst
We have a lovely new dog sitter called Maisie.

00:09:32 Hurst
We don't want to scare her off right now, but she also dog walks for us as well.

00:09:35 Hurst
I'm the only one that can really reliably be taken out for a walk.

00:09:39 Hurst
So we took Doug and Eddie, and on one occasion, Doug managed to barge past Carly as she was opening the gate and escaped into the fields that we had surrounding us on a hill that were not nice and flat grounded, and they were bubbly and steep.

00:09:57 Hurst
and full of sheep.

00:09:59 Hurst
So imagine Doug's enthusiasm to come back as I called when there was sheep to chase.

00:10:05 Hurst
So basically I was chasing around because Carly and harassment, let's face it, even on straight black ground, she's...

00:10:13 Hurst
full danger.

00:10:15 Hurst
So I had to chase these ******* dogs.

00:10:17 Hurst
Well, only when Eddie was back shouting, making it worse, I was chasing Doug around a mountain.

00:10:23 Hurst
I couldn't see him half the time.

00:10:24 Hurst
The only way I could locate him would be where the herds of sheep were running.

00:10:29 Hurst
Okay, somewhere behind that, looking for it.

00:10:32 Hurst
And there's a duck running around after them.

00:10:35 Hurst
And he did this for about 10 minutes, just chasing them and chasing them.

00:10:38 Hurst
And I'm rushing up, Doug, Doug.

00:10:41 Hurst
Get over here, Douglas.

00:10:43 Hurst
That's not, he's obviously not interested in that.

00:10:45 Hurst
It's like, Dougie, come back, be a good boy.

00:10:48 Hurst
I'm chasing sheep.

00:10:49 Hurst
And eventually, after about 10 minutes of this, he did get himself a bit worn out and he managed to corner a sheep.

00:10:55 Hurst
And it turned round and looked at him and suddenly he wasn't quite so brave because the sheep was bigger than him.

00:11:02 Squirrell
Yeah, it's quite big, yeah.

00:11:03 Hurst
The chase, the instinct had taken him so far, but the take down and the kill and eat was definitely many generations of dog ago.

00:11:12 Hurst
Yeah, so he just sort of looked at him.

00:11:14 Hurst
When I called him, he looked like he was kind of glad to have an excuse to get out of the session.

00:11:19 Hurst
And he's like, lucky this time, sheep, I've got to go back and see what person would have been done for.

00:11:26 Hurst
little ******* had me running around the mountain, almost breaking my ankles for 10 minutes, which set me off to a bad day after that, to be honest, because we went to the beach after that and they shouted at other dogs, just bad, bad dogs.

00:11:40 Hurst
And then just moments before we started this, yeah, so I had to do a bit of carpet cleaning when I got home because the other dogs said, especially Charlie had taken on herself to use upstairs as a toilet.

00:11:50 Hurst
So I cleaned out the office and then just moments before we recorded, I went to brush my teeth.

00:11:55 Hurst
after having shampooed the carpet, at least it was smell nice.

00:11:59 Hurst
And then two and a half minutes it took me to brush my teeth, Charlie ****** on the floor and Eddie had come in and cocked his leg to **** on top of it.

00:12:08 Hurst
'Cause you can tell the different types of **** by the little round puddle and then the trails of ******* off, absolutely ******* fuming.

00:12:15 Hurst
So unfortunately I had the carpet cleaner already set up, so I just got that on again.

00:12:20 Hurst
I'm so annoyed, I wish I didn't have dogs.

00:12:24 Hurst
Stupid dogs.

00:12:25 Hurst
Don't get dogs.

00:12:27 Squirrell
The UK's number one podcast when it comes to identifying individual animals, basic fit.

00:12:36 Hurst
Yes, you do know who's done what after a while.

00:12:39 Hurst
Bad, bad dogs.

00:12:40 Hurst
Yeah, that's been gripping my ****.

00:12:42 Squirrell
All right, good.

00:12:44 Hurst
I'm glad to have that off my chest.

00:12:45 Hurst
I'm filming a bit better.

00:12:46 Squirrell
I'm pleased that this is a cathartic session for you, Haz.

00:12:50 Squirrell
I'm pleased we're doing some good.

00:12:51 Hurst
So yes, now that we've recorded 20 odd minutes of ranting and raving, I suppose we should find out what happened last week with the biscuits now.

00:13:01 Hurst
You're staring down the barrel of a 4P day right now, which has never happened to you before.

00:13:04 Hurst
I think it's only been a back-to-back you've ever faced.

00:13:07 Hurst
I don't even think you've struggled with a three, well they call it a 3P, just a three, isn't it?

00:13:13 Hurst
So I'm on 3P and I'm looking for a 4P day here.

00:13:16 Squirrell
All right, all right.

00:13:18 Squirrell
Quite a lot of votes.

00:13:19 Squirrell
Not so many comments this week, Kirst, but we'll go through them as always.

00:13:23 Squirrell
Who do you think got in there first?

00:13:25 Hurst
Meg 98.

00:13:26 Squirrell
Meg, what time do you listen?

00:13:28 Squirrell
Like, honestly, but anyway,

00:13:31 Squirrell
She says, Close one this time around, but chocolate hobnobs just don't do it for me.

00:13:36 Squirrell
Sorry, Hurst.

00:13:36 Squirrell
Sad face.

00:13:38 Squirrell
There we are.

00:13:39 Squirrell
Hurst gets my vote purely for the milk chocolate hobnobs, although I prefer the Aldi chocolate Oatie's variety.

00:13:45 Squirrell
Brackets cheaper too, close brackets.

00:13:47 Squirrell
I don't shop at M&S Ocado that much, so most of Squirrel's choices means nothing to me.

00:13:52 Squirrell
Sorry.

00:13:53 Squirrell
That's from Jones.

00:13:55 Squirrell
Jones, just go to a shop.

00:13:57 Hurst
No, Jones, you stick with your cheap oaty crumbles.

00:14:00 Hurst
They are decent and definitely the best of biscuits.

00:14:03 Squirrell
Has to be squirrel as golden crunch creams are so good, I don't buy them lest I eat the whole lot in one go.

00:14:09 Squirrell
Chocolate hobnobs are a very close runner up, brackets.

00:14:12 Squirrell
Sorry, Hurst, close brackets.

00:14:13 Squirrell
That's from Kern.

00:14:14 Squirrell
Thank you.

00:14:14 Hurst
God, they're really polite this week, aren't they?

00:14:16 Hurst
We're getting lots of apologies for our lack of votes.

00:14:19 Squirrell
Yes, let's see if we can't find a ruder one as we go on.

00:14:22 Squirrell
A vote for you, Hurst, that clearly says, I do enjoy a good dunker.

00:14:27 Squirrell
So that could be rude.

00:14:28 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:14:29 Squirrell
Another vote for you.

00:14:30 Squirrell
I bloody love a milk chocolate hobnob.

00:14:32 Squirrell
That's all that says.

00:14:33 Squirrell
Anonymous.

00:14:34 Squirrell
Don't forget to put your names on these rankers.

00:14:36 Squirrell
Like this.

00:14:37 Squirrell
Hi, it's Ohio.

00:14:39 Squirrell
I have not heard of a lot of these biscuits, but I have heard of Oreos, which sadly for Hurst it's his downfall as I absolutely hate them.

00:14:46 Squirrell
Sorry Hurst, that seems unfair.

00:14:49 Squirrell
But you did it anyway.

00:14:50 Squirrell
But you did it anyway, so sad times.

00:14:53 Squirrell
Here is a as often kind of strange one from William Preston.

00:14:58 Squirrell
He says,

00:15:00 Squirrell
That William Preston seems like a hoopy fruit.

00:15:03 Squirrell
Crunch creams, brackets ginger variety, close brackets, are often overlooked.

00:15:07 Squirrell
Solid work.

00:15:08 Squirrell
Bill Preston.

00:15:09 Squirrell
That's a vote for me.

00:15:10 Hurst
Was that a hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy?

00:15:13 Squirrell
Yes, it is.

00:15:16 Hurst
That is pretty niche.

00:15:17 Hurst
Well played, Bill Preston.

00:15:19 Hurst
Yes, it is.

00:15:21 Squirrell
Vote for you.

00:15:22 Squirrell
Very basic biscuits, but sometimes less is more.

00:15:25 Squirrell
And that's from Matt, brackets, not Laura, who can't eat biscuits.

00:15:29 Hurst
Gosh, I did not notice that.

00:15:31 Hurst
Oh yeah, she's biscuits.

00:15:34 Hurst
I don't know.

00:15:35 Squirrell
Poor old Laura.

00:15:36 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:15:36 Squirrell
Welcome to Top Five Face-Off, where your comments get your illnesses discussed on a podcast.

00:15:41 Hurst
Oh yeah, maybe they don't go.

00:15:44 Hurst
I really feel for Laura there.

00:15:45 Squirrell
All right, cool.

00:15:46 Squirrell
I'll just beep out the details.

00:15:48 Squirrell
Too much chocolate on the squirrel front.

00:15:50 Squirrell
I even managed to not let your worst picks influence my vote because rich **** brackets my phone corrected that incorrectly but I am keeping it close brackets biscuits are the worst and malted milk biscuits are ******* awesome.

00:16:02 Squirrell
That is from Money Slinger.

00:16:04 Squirrell
So it corrected Rich T to Rich ****.

00:16:06 Squirrell
Okay, I like that.

00:16:07 Hurst
Rich **** biscuits, but obviously a big fan of the church coffee morning.

00:16:11 Squirrell
It is a vote from an unhappy ranker, Hurst.

00:16:14 Squirrell
They say, all this has shown is that neither of you know what a good biscuit is.

00:16:19 Hurst
Who's this?

00:16:20 Squirrell
It's my wife.

00:16:21 Squirrell
Oh, shut up, Harry.

00:16:23 Squirrell
She does vote for me though, so good work, wife.

00:16:25 Hurst
Double shut up, Harriet.

00:16:26 Hurst
What are you doing?

00:16:27 Squirrell
Both strong lists this week.

00:16:28 Squirrell
So this ranker obviously disagrees with my wife.

00:16:31 Squirrell
So start off both strong lists this week.

00:16:33 Squirrell
The M&S biscuits are seriously good.

00:16:35 Squirrell
However, milk chocolate hobnobs are the daddy.

00:16:38 Squirrell
Regards Malcolm.

00:16:40 Squirrell
He's called himself Malcolm, so we don't confuse him with the Malcs, I think.

00:16:43 Hurst
Wow, right, yeah.

00:16:45 Squirrell
Oh, good one, Malcolm.

00:16:45 Squirrell
Now, well, yes, well, wait a second.

00:16:48 Squirrell
Who do you think he voted for from what he said?

00:16:51 Squirrell
No, you're wrong.

00:16:52 Squirrell
He voted for me.

00:16:54 Squirrell
I would also say that comment suggests that he was going to vote for you.

00:16:57 Squirrell
Apologies for moving in my chair, they're *******.

00:16:59 Squirrell
*******?

00:17:00 Squirrell
I call them *******.

00:17:01 Squirrell
Oh, it's finally happened.

00:17:02 Squirrell
I can't believe that's the first time that's happened.

00:17:06 Hurst
24th of January 26th is the first time it happened.

00:17:09 Squirrell
Yes.

00:17:10 Squirrell
This might also be, I was thinking this might be the first time we've recorded in the morning.

00:17:15 Squirrell
Hello Rankers, Squirrel here.

00:17:17 Squirrell
We realised at this point that Hurst was using his laptop microphone and not his proper microphone, so that's about to improve.

00:17:24 Squirrell
Sorry about that, thanks for listening, etc, etc, etc.

00:17:28 Squirrell
Wipe those crumbs off your microphones, it's Dav Faz here.

00:17:31 Squirrell
Got to go with Hurst this week as Squirrel's selection was just too highbrow for my simple tastes.

00:17:35 Squirrell
I am sorely tempted to go and get some chocolate covered custard creams though.

00:17:39 Squirrell
also get some credit for remembering my name this week, the little tinker.

00:17:43 Squirrell
Rankers New Knight.

00:17:44 Squirrell
Thanks, Dafaz.

00:17:45 Hurst
Nice one, Dazpav.

00:17:48 Squirrell
And the last comment is, chocolate hobnobs reign supreme with tuck snapping at their heels.

00:17:53 Squirrell
I am very much an Audi OT man myself.

00:17:56 Squirrell
Squirrel turned up with far too many fancy pants biscuits.

00:17:59 Squirrell
Cheers, Kov.

00:18:00 Squirrell
Thanks, Kov.

00:18:01 Hurst
And then went to Italy.

00:18:02 Squirrell
And then went to Italy.

00:18:03 Hurst
With his fancy pants friend and his fancy pants job.

00:18:06 Squirrell
Yep.

00:18:09 Squirrell
So here's the results.

00:18:11 Hurst
Oh, come on then, let's hear it.

00:18:13 Squirrell
Well, first, we have something to decide.

00:18:16 Squirrell
Aranka got in touch and said they had already voted, but had since tried some of the other biscuits they hadn't already tried, and wish to change their vote.

00:18:24 Squirrell
Do we allow this?

00:18:26 Hurst
I think for the good of the world,

00:18:27 Hurst
we should allow it because this is an important resource for the times.

00:18:31 Hurst
And if they've made the effort to get in touch, we should let them change their vote.

00:18:35 Squirrell
Yes, this was literally, it was either yesterday or the day before.

00:18:39 Squirrell
It was yesterday.

00:18:40 Squirrell
In that case, Hurst, I got 19 and you got 18.

00:18:43 Squirrell
Your wife has done you.

00:18:47 Hurst
To be honest, though,

00:18:48 Hurst
When we went on holiday, I saw some Fox's Crunch Creams.

00:18:51 Squirrell
That's exactly what she was writing about.

00:18:54 Hurst
And I procured them and we had them on holiday as, well, our messages like, you know what, fair play, I forgot about these.

00:19:02 Hurst
I used to have them years ago and they'd slipped out of my psyche.

00:19:05 Hurst
So I'm happy to spare you the full pedo and grant you the swing vote.

00:19:11 Hurst
And to be honest, when I was trying to look at the votes to see how many I'd won in a row,

00:19:16 Hurst
accidentally voted for me this week anyway, so if it would have been close, I was going to remove my vote from contention.

00:19:23 Hurst
So in fact, if I'd won 1918, I'd have taken it off and would have had to go to AI.

00:19:27 Hurst
But as it stands, Squirrel is the king of the biscuits.

00:19:31 Hurst
So why don't you tell us what your top five are?

00:19:34 Squirrell
In #5, Fitty's Digestives.

00:19:39 Squirrell
At #4, chocolate covered custard creams.

00:19:44 Squirrell
At number three, Tuck Cheese Sandwiches.

00:19:47 Squirrell
At number two, Marks and Spencer's Milk Chocolate Rounds.

00:19:54 Squirrell
And at number one, Fox's Golden Crunch Creams are the best biscuits.

00:20:02 Hurst
It's a fish order.

00:20:04 Hurst
Fantastic.

00:20:05 Hurst
Wow.

00:20:06 Hurst
I guess we move on to the business end of the podcast.

00:20:09 Squirrell
Yeah, put that one into the annals of history because we are moving on to discuss adult cartoons.

00:20:15 Squirrell
Now, this was suggested by Davpaz, and I did get in touch with Davpaz to say, when you say adult cartoons, you know, are you talking about things on the TV?

00:20:25 Squirrell
Are you talking about anything animated?

00:20:27 Squirrell
Can I include anime?

00:20:29 Squirrell
Are we thinking adult cartoons are ****** which is anime sex, **** stuff?

00:20:35 Squirrell
I don't know, right?

00:20:36 Squirrell
And we decided that adult cartoons probably isn't going to include anime.

00:20:41 Squirrell
That can be its own separate subjects.

00:20:43 Squirrell
Don't get upset, Weebs, if we're not talking about Ghost in the Shell or Akira enough.

00:20:47 Squirrell
Oh, no, you don't like that, do you, Weebs?

00:20:49 Squirrell
What do you like?

00:20:50 Squirrell
You like that cooking one where everybody has an orgasm because the food's so good.

00:20:52 Squirrell
Anyway.

00:20:53 Hurst
What the **** is going on?

00:20:54 Hurst
I'm going to speak up right now.

00:20:55 Hurst
There are only three adult cartoons I've ever watched, so I had to do a little bit of last minute cramming.

00:21:00 Hurst
I had no internet on the TV on holiday, so my capacity to research has been very limited.

00:21:06 Hurst
I crammed in a few first episodes of some stuff on Friday just so I could get to five.

00:21:11 Hurst
You might spot that in my write-ups of what some of these things are about, but I've never watched any anime, so there's really no point putting it on the wheel.

00:21:20 Squirrell
You didn't watch any anime?

00:21:22 Hurst
No.

00:21:22 Squirrell
You've not even seen things like Akira or Ghost in the Shell or Battle Angel Elita or...

00:21:27 Hurst
No, I saw the film Elita Battle Angel.

00:21:30 Squirrell
Well, yeah, but not Battle Angel Elita, which is the manga.

00:21:33 Hurst
Yeah, no, I haven't seen that.

00:21:35 Squirrell
Oh, well.

00:21:35 Squirrell
There we are, never mind.

00:21:36 Squirrell
So anyway, Rankers, these are cartoons primarily aimed at adults, which are, well, I'm going to say in English, right?

00:21:44 Squirrell
So they are not what we would consider anime and they're not ****.

00:21:47 Squirrell
Well, at least none of mine are ****.

00:21:48 Squirrell
I don't know about Hurst.

00:21:49 Hurst
I didn't even know that was a thing.

00:21:51 Squirrell
Yeah, right.

00:21:53 Hurst
Well, maybe I could do some research, I suppose.

00:21:58 Squirrell
So anyway, Hurst, how do we decide who's going to go first?

00:22:01 Hurst
Well, let's flip the coin of destiny.

00:22:03 Squirrell
Here it is, Heads for Hurst, Squirrels Have Tails.

00:22:07 Squirrell
Will it go?

00:22:08 Squirrell
Oh, it's Heads for Hurst.

00:22:10 Hurst
Excellent.

00:22:10 Squirrell
Let's get ranking.

00:22:16 Hurst
In at #5, I have a programme called Rick and Morty.

00:22:20 Hurst
Basically what happens on Rick and Morty is Doc Brown and Marty McFly get their own spin-off show where Marty reinvents himself as Morty but continues to let Doc put him into crazy, dangerous situations.

00:22:30 Hurst
Totally funny according to loads of people.

00:22:34 Hurst
I thought it was all right.

00:22:35 Hurst
Number five, Rick and Morty.

00:22:38 Squirrell
There you go.

00:22:38 Squirrell
Are you aware that it was originally Doc and Marty?

00:22:42 Hurst
No.

00:22:42 Hurst
Oh, there you are.

00:22:43 Squirrell
Okay, I got that right.

00:22:46 Squirrell
You did, you absolutely got that right.

00:22:47 Squirrell
Excellent work.

00:22:48 Squirrell
Yeah, it was a...

00:22:49 Squirrell
YouTube kind of being called Doc Amay, but obviously they couldn't use that in their own TV show, so they changed it.

00:22:55 Hurst
Excellent.

00:22:56 Hurst
Well, I certainly picked up on the important elements of the show, the dynamic of the relationship of the two guys, although Marty McFly's parents were much more oblivious in their own world.

00:23:05 Hurst
But I say that, so are Morty's parents, from what I can see.

00:23:08 Hurst
They don't seem to give a **** what's happening to him.

00:23:11 Hurst
It pretty much is...

00:23:13 Squirrell
Keep watching, but yeah.

00:23:14 Squirrell
Cool.

00:23:15 Squirrell
My #5, I have...

00:23:17 Squirrell
the animated version of Harley Quinn, which came out in February 2023.

00:23:21 Squirrell
And there's five series of it so far.

00:23:23 Squirrell
We're crossing our fingers for a sixth because it is brilliant.

00:23:28 Squirrell
It stars Kaley Cuoco, who is from The Big Bang Theory.

00:23:33 Squirrell
She's Penny from The Big Bang Theory, and she's from other stuff as well.

00:23:36 Squirrell
She voices Harley.

00:23:37 Squirrell
And basically the premise is that Harley realizes that the Joker doesn't love her.

00:23:40 Squirrell
He just uses her to get away from Batman.

00:23:43 Squirrell
And when

00:23:44 Squirrell
When I heard about it, I'm like, oh, it's another DC animated show, like Teen Titans or ******* Batman, which are okay, right?

00:23:51 Squirrell
And I like them.

00:23:52 Squirrell
And I watched the trailer, and one of the first lines in the trailer is when Harley is telling Frank, and Frank is one of Poison Ivy's plants, and he's big and he can talk like Audrey from Little Shopper Horrors, he looks like.

00:24:02 Squirrell
And he tells Frank that the Joker doesn't love her, and Frank says, Oh, move ******* who?

00:24:08 Squirrell
Come talk to me after St.

00:24:10 Squirrell
Bernard ***** on your face.

00:24:12 Squirrell
And I'm just like, okay, this is going to be very different to all the other DC shows.

00:24:17 Squirrell
And it is, it is filthy, it's super violent, it's ******* hilarious.

00:24:22 Squirrell
If you have a passing knowledge of Batman and would be amused by a running joke about people thinking that he ***** actual bats, then you should check it out.

00:24:30 Squirrell
It's fantastic.

00:24:31 Squirrell
Harley Quinn is my number five.

00:24:33 Squirrell
Ooh, I'm doing best joke.

00:24:35 Squirrell
Best joke from each one.

00:24:36 Squirrell
Although I haven't really for this one because the best joke in this one is just Bane.

00:24:40 Squirrell
It's everything Bane says.

00:24:42 Squirrell
He's like, obviously Bane is this giant hulking genius of a man, but he's so relentlessly picked on by everyone else and he's just so sad about it.

00:24:50 Squirrell
And he's just like, it's just ******* fantastic.

00:24:53 Squirrell
So yeah, anything Bane does.

00:24:55 Hurst
Excellent.

00:24:56 Hurst
Bravo.

00:24:57 Hurst
Okay, my #4 is a program called Futurama, where a pizza boy called Fry travels forward in time to deliver pizza in the future on his spaceship, the Persephone.

00:25:07 Hurst
He falls in love with a purple-haired Cyclops called Lola, who cries single tears straight into her mouth, so she has to learn not to cry, which makes her into a ******.

00:25:16 Hurst
Fry forms a ragtag band of delivery goons, Bender the robot, his nephew, granddad,

00:25:21 Hurst
Lara, the hot Cyclops, who's hard, and Zorbert the crab.

00:25:24 Hurst
They travel around the universe delivering pizza, getting up to crazy hijinks.

00:25:28 Hurst
It's quite funny.

00:25:29 Hurst
It made me laugh out loud a few times in that one episode.

00:25:32 Hurst
So my #4 is Futurama.

00:25:34 Hurst
There was so much wrong in there.

00:25:38 Squirrell
Did you call her Lara?

00:25:40 Hurst
She's Lila.

00:25:42 Hurst
I called her Lola and I called her Lara, apparently.

00:25:45 Squirrell
It's Lila.

00:25:48 Hurst
Okay, you called the spaceship Persephone.

00:25:50 Hurst
Yeah, I just it's looked like.

00:25:51 Hurst
I think it was probably called Persephone.

00:25:53 Squirrell
I kind of made that about Express strip.

00:25:55 Squirrell
Right.

00:25:55 Squirrell
Okay.

00:25:55 Squirrell
Okay, good.

00:25:59 Squirrell
But yeah, Futuram is ******* banging.

00:26:02 Squirrell
It's excellent.

00:26:03 Hurst
It did actually make me laugh quite a few times.

00:26:05 Hurst
Yes.

00:26:05 Hurst
So that's really what got out there.

00:26:07 Hurst
And I only managed to get through about four things that I hadn't seen before.

00:26:11 Hurst
So there's a vast universe of things.

00:26:13 Hurst
I didn't even know Harley Quinn was its own adult cartoon.

00:26:16 Hurst
So I'm not expecting much love from the crowd, apart from I know that the things that I'm saying are well loved.

00:26:22 Hurst
This is true.

00:26:24 Squirrell
If someone just looks at that list, Futurama, although you could argue it's not entirely focused at adults, it certainly has bits that are focused at adults, so probably fine, right?

00:26:34 Squirrell
It's got robot prostitutes.

00:26:36 Squirrell
It's going to be fine.

00:26:37 Squirrell
Yeah, Futurama's fantastic.

00:26:39 Squirrell
That might work quite well in your favour.

00:26:41 Squirrell
My #4 is 1 you wouldn't have heard of.

00:26:43 Squirrell
It's called Final Space, and it's been going since 2018.

00:26:47 Squirrell
There's three series of it, and then it got cancelled, and the 4th one is coming out as a comic.

00:26:52 Squirrell
hopefully soon.

00:26:52 Squirrell
It's about Gary Goodspeed.

00:26:54 Squirrell
He's our hero.

00:26:55 Squirrell
He's serving the last few days of a five-year sentence on board a prison ship called the Galaxy One.

00:27:01 Squirrell
He is all on his own until he finds a cute alien called Mooncake, who says chocolate and has the ability to shoot lasers out of his head because, you know, fine, that's the sort of thing that happens.

00:27:12 Squirrell
And Bad Guy, who's called the Lord Commander, who's voiced by David Tennant, who is excellent in this, he wants the alien

00:27:19 Squirrell
because he wants it as a weapon.

00:27:20 Squirrell
So there's your plot, at least to start off with, bad guy wants to take Mooncake away.

00:27:24 Squirrell
And Gary actually talking about Futurama, Gary starts off quite like Fry from Futurama in his levels of slapstick idiocy, right?

00:27:32 Squirrell
But as episodes go by, he's...

00:27:35 Squirrell
He's just so ridiculously likable that without realising it, you're suddenly ******* all in on him and the group that gets put together to deal with the Lord Commander.

00:27:43 Squirrell
They're called Team Squad.

00:27:44 Squirrell
Oh, and at the start of each episode, each of the ten episodes, there's a single minute section about how Gary is floating in space and he's got ten minutes to live and then the next episode you've got nine minutes to live and you're coming toward the end of the series, you find out how he got in that situation or what happened.

00:27:59 Squirrell
And yeah, he's just chatting to the shit's computer about how he's going to die and it also has

00:28:05 Squirrell
the best fist bump in all of history, Hurst.

00:28:08 Squirrell
And even though I won't be able to show this to you, Rankers, if you know, Hurst, you can watch it there on that YouTube link I've just given you in the comments.

00:28:16 Squirrell
While you do that, I will tell the rankers that the best joke is he has a companion droid who is meant to keep him sane, but he's just utterly hateful and we all hate Kevin.

00:28:25 Squirrell
Kevin is the worst thing that exists.

00:28:27 Squirrell
And anyway, the galaxy one is going to blow up and there's like a countdown and Gary doesn't have enough time to make it to the airlock so he's running as fast as he can and then he just runs off screen and Kevin's just there and then Gary runs back on screen just to dropkick Kevin and then run off again and it's so *******

00:28:42 Squirrell
So there we go.

00:28:44 Squirrell
Have you seen the fist bump yet?

00:28:45 Hurst
Oh yeah, that's good.

00:28:47 Hurst
That's good.

00:28:47 Squirrell
There we go.

00:28:48 Squirrell
So there you are, #4, Final Space.

00:28:51 Squirrell
If you haven't seen it, can be tricky to get hold of now.

00:28:54 Squirrell
All the episodes are on the Internet Archive, weirdly.

00:28:56 Squirrell
Otherwise, ask me and I'll get you a copy because it's brilliant.

00:29:00 Hurst
Excellent.

00:29:01 Hurst
Bravo.

00:29:01 Hurst
Number 3, we're finally into the things I've actually watched multiple series of.

00:29:05 Hurst
So I might actually have something useful to say, although probably not.

00:29:10 Hurst
But my #3,

00:29:12 Hurst
Phrasing, danger zone.

00:29:14 Hurst
Holy **** snacks.

00:29:15 Hurst
It has to be Archer.

00:29:17 Hurst
Just brilliant.

00:29:19 Hurst
An alcoholic, inept, but yet also awesome spy called Archer works for, I think it's like a private spy company.

00:29:28 Hurst
It's not government espionage, is it?

00:29:30 Hurst
But I'm never really sure what's going on with there.

00:29:32 Hurst
So.

00:29:32 Squirrell
They are deliberately ambiguous.

00:29:34 Hurst
Yes, deliberately ambiguous and like it.

00:29:36 Hurst
So there's Pam, Archer,

00:29:38 Hurst
Mallory, who's in charge of it, who's Archer's mum, also an alcoholic.

00:29:42 Hurst
Figures, the account of Lana, the crazy, crazy, hot other spy who has a love-hate relationship with Archer.

00:29:50 Hurst
They're both super hot and both super good at spying, but she's trying to do it properly and he's just a ****.

00:29:55 Hurst
And then Krieger, the mad scientist, so it's just a great setup for a weird set of series.

00:30:01 Hurst
The first

00:30:02 Hurst
A couple of series were fantastic.

00:30:03 Hurst
When they started going into other situations, I sort of drifted away from it.

00:30:08 Hurst
But what I've taken for my top three is as a body of work, how much it made me laugh.

00:30:14 Hurst
Archer, I have not seen.

00:30:16 Hurst
I mean, I think they're up to like season nine or 10 or something.

00:30:18 Hurst
I think I've.

00:30:19 Squirrell
14 series of Archer.

00:30:20 Hurst
Jesus.

00:30:21 Hurst
I think I fizzled out after season four or five or something.

00:30:24 Hurst
But watching back some of the funniest bits, it has made me want to go back and do the whole thing again and see if I can get through the Miami Vice weirdness and all of that.

00:30:34 Hurst
So yeah, just really funny.

00:30:36 Hurst
All right.

00:30:36 Hurst
That's it, my #3, Archer.

00:30:38 Squirrell
All right.

00:30:38 Squirrell
I don't think I've ever had.

00:30:41 Squirrell
harder to place top three than I have in this category.

00:30:44 Squirrell
I just, I still literally, until right now, like right now, I don't know how I'm going to place these three and in what order they're going to go.

00:30:52 Hurst
Wow, this one really did lend itself much more to you than to me, didn't it?

00:30:56 Hurst
Because this was an absolute piece of cake for me and I had to struggle to try and get my 4th and 5th ones.

00:31:01 Squirrell
I just didn't expect to find it so difficult to choose.

00:31:04 Squirrell
And I'm just talking because I haven't chosen yet.

00:31:06 Squirrell
And I'm really trying hard not to let recency bias into this because I'm currently re-watching Archer like right now.

00:31:14 Squirrell
My #3 is going to be Archer as well.

00:31:20 Hurst
Excellent.

00:31:20 Hurst
You can tell them a bit more about it because I didn't really remember much about it.

00:31:24 Squirrell
Archer started in 2009.

00:31:25 Squirrell
There are, like I said, 14 series of it.

00:31:27 Squirrell
And like her said, it's a send up of Cold War espionage thrillers, right?

00:31:31 Squirrell
Starring Sterling Archer, who's the most dangerous spy in the world.

00:31:35 Squirrell
He's also hateful, alcoholic.

00:31:37 Squirrell
idiotic genius who is a legitimately fantastic secret agent, or at least he's a legitimately fantastic ****** 'cause he has a habit of telling women he's a secret agent so he can sleep with them, which probably isn't like in the ******* manual, right?

00:31:54 Hurst
No, no.

00:31:54 Hurst
Yeah, he's definitely got all the skills, but not so much with the secrets.

00:31:58 Squirrell
Maybe not the common sense, right?

00:32:00 Squirrell
But it's so funny.

00:32:02 Squirrell
right?

00:32:02 Squirrell
The dialogue is just superb.

00:32:05 Squirrell
It's so fast-paced and the in-jokes appear immediately and they just keep coming and the references are just absurdly obscure and Brett keeps getting shot and it's incredible and I ******* love it.

00:32:19 Squirrell
It's like episodes are like a *******.

00:32:21 Squirrell
puzzle box of interconnecting lines of dialogue and escalating running gags and payoffs that were set up like right at the beginning of the episode without you even realizing it.

00:32:31 Squirrell
And just ******* it's just beautiful.

00:32:32 Squirrell
And I can't overestimate how well written the dialogue is.

00:32:36 Squirrell
It's everything from changing tempo to the way that lines interrupt each other and combine to create something else.

00:32:41 Squirrell
And then how often it jumps from one scene to another.

00:32:44 Squirrell
And the first word of the new scene would have been the last word from the old scene, but they cut away just before that and there's a new conversation.

00:32:50 Squirrell
That probably has a name

00:32:51 Squirrell
let us know filmmaking Malcs.

00:32:53 Squirrell
And yeah, it's just great.

00:32:55 Squirrell
The characters are really well defined.

00:32:57 Squirrell
They're stereotypical, but not always in the way you expect.

00:33:00 Squirrell
And they certainly suffered from some flanderisation in the early series.

00:33:04 Squirrell
They settle down really quickly and it's just brilliant.

00:33:07 Squirrell
And I ******* love Archer and long, well, I was going to say long may it continue, but of course it's finished, but there are like 153 episodes, so that is fair enough.

00:33:17 Squirrell
Number three, Archer.

00:33:18 Hurst
Yeah, what's where I said.

00:33:19 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:33:20 Squirrell
And the best joke, the best joke, maybe, is it the first episode?

00:33:23 Squirrell
It's certainly an early episode where Lana, who is, as has discussed, like what?

00:33:29 Squirrell
She was going out with Cyril Figgis, but then she found out that he cheated on her.

00:33:34 Squirrell
So she just decided to sleep with everyone in the office and they were taking numbers.

00:33:38 Squirrell
And Cyril was in there going, oh God, I can't believe it.

00:33:40 Squirrell
And then Ray, who is gay, says to him to calm down.

00:33:43 Squirrell
He's like, why are you here, Ray?

00:33:44 Squirrell
And Ray holds up his own ticket.

00:33:46 Squirrell
He's like, but you're gay.

00:33:47 Squirrell
And Ray says, girl, please.

00:33:50 Squirrell
Nobody's that gay.

00:33:54 Squirrell
Just fantastic.

00:33:56 Squirrell
It's been a while since we got the Hornhurst.

00:33:58 Hurst
Yeah, it has been a while since we have aligned on any single number.

00:34:03 Hurst
So yeah, happy days.

00:34:05 Hurst
Let's see if that continues at all.

00:34:06 Hurst
I imagine yours is going to be probably more niche, but there's got to be at least one of my top two has to be in your top two.

00:34:12 Hurst
I would have thought.

00:34:13 Hurst
Yeah, so my #2,

00:34:15 Hurst
And I've flipped a coin a little bit between 1:00 and 2:00 because they're the only two that I've seen many, many, many episodes of.

00:34:21 Hurst
Both have suffered with starting accidentally sort of fading off and not being as good or going a bit weird and then coming back strong and just looking through the best bits of both.

00:34:32 Hurst
It was just down to which one made me laugh the most in 15 minutes of this programme's funniest gags.

00:34:38 Hurst
And actually, at that point, it wasn't that close.

00:34:40 Hurst
One made me smirk a lot, one made me actually laugh out loud A lot.

00:34:43 Hurst
So my #2 is

00:34:45 Hurst
South Park by Matt Stone and Trey Parker, which has been going, I think, since like 1997 or something, hasn't it?

00:34:52 Hurst
It's a long, time.

00:34:53 Hurst
I remember it being massive when I went off to university in 98, so I suspect it was sometime around then.

00:34:59 Squirrell
It was 97, yeah.

00:35:01 Hurst
Oh, that would check me out, guessing it right.

00:35:03 Hurst
Ha ha for me.

00:35:05 Hurst
four kids in a tiny little town called South Park in Colorado.

00:35:09 Hurst
They are all friends, but no one's really sure why they're friends with Cartman, slash they're not really friends with Cartman, but he hangs around with them and he's a little sociopath.

00:35:18 Hurst
And a lot of what's really funny, especially about the early series, is what Cartman's up to.

00:35:23 Hurst
That carries on forever.

00:35:25 Hurst
Cartman's always a crazy little narcissist and you can always rely on him to carry some ridiculous storylines to the point when he almost got gingers to take over the world because they made him believe

00:35:34 Hurst
He was ginger because he'd been ripping on the gingers.

00:35:36 Hurst
And then he started up a cult and was about to end the world.

00:35:39 Hurst
And they said, no, you're not actually ginger.

00:35:41 Hurst
He just kind of danced his way off.

00:35:43 Hurst
There was the time when he ate all of the skin off the KFC and then just left the chicken and the others were so ****** ***.

00:35:50 Hurst
They pretended to ignore him to the point he thought he had died and was a ghost.

00:35:54 Squirrell
Isn't that something we all just want to do though, right?

00:35:57 Squirrell
Just to peel the chicken.

00:36:00 Hurst
I thought it was about pretending we're ghosts.

00:36:03 Squirrell
Oh, no, I mean, eating the chicken.

00:36:07 Hurst
I don't know.

00:36:07 Hurst
I actually like the chicken with the skin.

00:36:09 Hurst
I think just eating the skin makes me feel weird.

00:36:11 Squirrell
Oh, ****.

00:36:12 Squirrell
Let's hope we never rank that.

00:36:14 Squirrell
Let us know, Patreons.

00:36:15 Hurst
I mean, I like the skin, but it needs to be.

00:36:17 Hurst
It's like just taking the custard off of the sticky toffee pudding.

00:36:20 Squirrell
But if you could just have the sticky toffee sauce.

00:36:23 Squirrell
Anyway, sorry, we're getting sidetracked.

00:36:25 Hurst
We are getting sidetracked.

00:36:26 Hurst
Yeah, so he pretends he's a ghost and worked with Butters to try and get himself sent off to heaven because he's obviously in purgatory and just the naked nonsense he does.

00:36:36 Hurst
And there's so many great Cartman moments.

00:36:38 Hurst
But as it goes on, Buttons becomes more of a character and the Cartman-Buttons relationship is...

00:36:43 Squirrell
It's calling him Buttons.

00:36:44 Hurst
Butters.

00:36:46 Hurst
Butters comes along more, the Cartman-Butters relationship just grows, and a lot of the other characters start to become funnier, most especially Randy.

00:36:56 Hurst
Randy at one point becomes a bit too Randy, not in the ***** way, just he becomes almost too much of A caricature of himself, but he does get himself into some ridiculous situations.

00:37:06 Hurst
He's like the homer and the Peter Griffin of their respective things.

00:37:10 Hurst
He's the ridiculous dad that's always hilarious.

00:37:12 Hurst
But when he buys the marijuana farm and calls it Tegrity Farms, that's

00:37:16 Hurst
some genius **** right there.

00:37:18 Hurst
Tegrity.

00:37:19 Hurst
Tegrity.

00:37:19 Hurst
There are loads of great characters, but what's really great about South Park is that it is so on the money with its political satire.

00:37:28 Hurst
Everything that's happening, they are straight on it and making a really funny joke out of it when they did the movie.

00:37:35 Hurst
And it was Saddam Hussein sleeping with the devil.

00:37:37 Hurst
And the second Trump got into office again and started doing Trump things, he was ******* the devil.

00:37:43 Hurst
And it was no longer just Mr.

00:37:45 Hurst
Garrison dressed up in orange.

00:37:46 Hurst
And like, it's like, now we can't just pretend anymore.

00:37:49 Hurst
We're going to throw him right in there.

00:37:51 Hurst
And say, no, this is who we're talking about.

00:37:53 Hurst
So they were always just so on the pulse.

00:37:55 Hurst
South Park has been brilliant for a very long time.

00:37:58 Hurst
My #2, South Park.

00:38:00 Squirrell
Yep, certainly fair.

00:38:01 Squirrell
28 seasons of South Park now has, Jesus.

00:38:04 Squirrell
That is a lot.

00:38:06 Squirrell
I certainly haven't watched it for a long while, but I do, you know, the earlier ones I did like a lot.

00:38:11 Squirrell
When Randy was on Wheel of Fortune, that is something that annoys everybody.

00:38:18 Squirrell
*** **** it.

00:38:21 Squirrell
They're all poking their heads out from behind cameras.

00:38:24 Squirrell
Yeah, if you know what we're talking about, you know what we're talking about.

00:38:30 Squirrell
Oh God, so good.

00:38:32 Squirrell
Anyway, I've put my, they're in order now.

00:38:35 Squirrell
My number two is going to be Rick and Moy.

00:38:38 Squirrell
It is superb.

00:38:41 Squirrell
It is possibly one of the most creative things on television, I think.

00:38:47 Squirrell
Why is it so good?

00:38:48 Squirrell
So,

00:38:49 Squirrell
Rick and Morty is, as Herr said earlier, it's about a grandfather and his grandson who go on adventures.

00:38:54 Squirrell
And they literally call this out in the show.

00:38:56 Squirrell
They're like, this is what we do.

00:38:57 Squirrell
We go on adventures, Rick and Morty, having adventures.

00:39:00 Squirrell
It breaks the 4th wall A lot.

00:39:01 Squirrell
It is stupid and brilliant at the same time.

00:39:04 Squirrell
It's fart jokes and laser guns.

00:39:06 Squirrell
And at the same time, somehow that's questioning if free will exists or if love is just chemicals.

00:39:12 Squirrell
You just get whiplash, right, from working out if you're being a 12-year-old or you're being a ******* philosopher, and it's genius.

00:39:21 Squirrell
The sci-fi ideas it has are genuinely top tier.

00:39:26 Squirrell
It doesn't do alternate universes or time travel, although it's done both of those things, but it says it doesn't do them.

00:39:31 Squirrell
You've got universes where everyone is a chair.

00:39:33 Squirrell
You've got an entire society that was created just so Rick's car battery would work.

00:39:39 Squirrell
It is just so clever.

00:39:42 Squirrell
And the things it comes up with is just, I don't know how they think about these things.

00:39:46 Squirrell
I'm thinking LSD probably.

00:39:48 Squirrell
Rick himself is a monster.

00:39:52 Squirrell
Like he is just absolutely terrible.

00:39:54 Squirrell
He's a genius.

00:39:56 Squirrell
addict.

00:39:57 Squirrell
He's right about everything and he sabotages relationships constantly.

00:40:03 Squirrell
He claims nothing matters.

00:40:04 Squirrell
And basically what happens if his intelligence and trauma go to the pub and never come home.

00:40:09 Squirrell
It's so well done.

00:40:11 Squirrell
But then you've got Morty who kind of keeps it grounded and human because

00:40:15 Squirrell
He's an idiot.

00:40:16 Squirrell
Without him, it would just be clever noise, right?

00:40:19 Squirrell
But Morty is bringing the fear side of things.

00:40:22 Squirrell
He's bringing conscience and guilt, and he's the emotional anchor.

00:40:27 Squirrell
There you are, in inverted commas, in a universe that keeps screaming that nothing matters, which is very British, very much like us.

00:40:35 Squirrell
There are just jokes everywhere.

00:40:37 Squirrell
There's jokes in the dialogue, obviously, but there's also jokes in the background poses, the jokes in the way that the aliens are drawn, there's throwaway lines.

00:40:43 Squirrell
Entire plot structures turn into jokes as well, which is just ******* so clever.

00:40:47 Squirrell
And it hates itself just enough.

00:40:50 Squirrell
Like the show actively mocks its own fandom and anyone that's obsessed with the lore and the storytelling, and it even mocks its own storytelling in an episode about stories.

00:40:58 Squirrell
And the meta stuff, which it does a lot, isn't just clever for the sake of being clever.

00:41:04 Squirrell
It's the writers going, Yeah, we know.

00:41:06 Squirrell
Calm down, Reddit.

00:41:07 Squirrell
It's self-awareness that stops it from disappearing up its own **** or its own portal, I guess.

00:41:12 Squirrell
So, yeah, it is stupid and it is clever as **** and it is...

00:41:19 Squirrell
also hilariously funny.

00:41:21 Squirrell
It's a bit cliche because ******* everyone goes on about it.

00:41:24 Squirrell
When they had an episode about McDonald's sesh one sauce, McDonald's actually brought it back because the demand was so high.

00:41:30 Squirrell
And then of course, because Rick and Morty fandom is terrible, they ******* basically had a riot at the store that brought it back.

00:41:35 Squirrell
But anyway, yeah.

00:41:38 Squirrell
Pickle Rick.

00:41:39 Squirrell
Oh, best joke, Kirst.

00:41:41 Squirrell
joke from Rick and Moy it's where where everyone's in trouble and Jerry is the father and Jerry is useless voiced by the same person that voices Cyril figus and this is Chris Parnell if you're wondering and anyway Rick somehow gets Jerry a gun shouts out just.

00:41:59 Hurst
Go with it Jerry everybody drop your guns except for Jerry classic.

00:42:04 Squirrell
Because Jerry's terrible at everything so there we are that was brilliant anyway yeah Rick and Moy go watch it again probably.

00:42:11 Hurst
Yeah, what Squirrel said, but for my #5?

00:42:13 Squirrell
Yep.

00:42:13 Squirrell
What Squirrel said, probably going to cut a lot of that out because I think I just went on and on, but there we are.

00:42:18 Hurst
Someone's got to do some talking this episode.

00:42:20 Squirrell
Someone's got to talk about some ****.

00:42:22 Squirrell
Now, can you talk about your worst, Hurst?

00:42:28 Hurst
Oh, Jack Horseman.

00:42:30 Hurst
So to...

00:42:31 Hurst
explain, basically in a dystopian present, some people have the heads of animals.

00:42:36 Hurst
Bojack Horseman is one of them.

00:42:38 Hurst
He has the head of a horse.

00:42:39 Hurst
He's an alcoholic ex-TV star living with a hobo called Jesse Heisenberg, and he's kind of an *******.

00:42:45 Hurst
And that was pretty much what happened.

00:42:48 Hurst
The saving graces for it are that Will Arnott is the voice of Bojack Horseman and Will Arnott is hilarious.

00:42:55 Hurst
A lot of big names of Bojack, actually.

00:42:58 Squirrell
Aaron Paul, I was going to say, yeah.

00:42:59 Hurst
Is the voice of the hobo, which

00:43:01 Hurst
I can't remember his name, which is why I've called him Jesse Heusenberg, off of reference to his days in Breaking Bad.

00:43:09 Hurst
So it's a great cast, just I didn't get it.

00:43:12 Hurst
didn't make me laugh, it didn't make me care about any of the characters, and you know...

00:43:17 Hurst
Compared to the other three that I got through last night, the other one that almost made the list was Disenchantment, which I actually found really funny, but I thought Rick and Morty had a little bit more novelty going for it.

00:43:27 Hurst
was a, like you said, it was very original, so that's why that made my list and I couldn't really have Disenchantment and Futurama next to each other, because again, both Matt Groening, both similar kinds of humour, but I think I will probably continue down the road with Disenchantment and Rick and Morty to see whether or not I invest enough time to

00:43:47 Hurst
really get to know them.

00:43:48 Hurst
Not quite like you have.

00:43:49 Hurst
I mean, you have gone full on TV critic.

00:43:52 Squirrell
Well, I've just seen them.

00:43:52 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:43:56 Hurst
And this is definitely much more your genre than mine.

00:43:59 Hurst
I'm not hoping to keep up on that.

00:44:00 Hurst
I can only talk about what I've been able to achieve in the evening that I've had to get this done.

00:44:04 Hurst
Cool.

00:44:05 Squirrell
So your worst is, what was it called?

00:44:07 Hurst
Bojack Horseman.

00:44:08 Squirrell
Bojack Horseman.

00:44:09 Squirrell
All right.

00:44:10 Squirrell
Okay.

00:44:10 Squirrell
So for my worst host.

00:44:12 Squirrell
IMDB.

00:44:13 Squirrell
You can vote on things on IMDB to say how good you think they are.

00:44:16 Squirrell
And the voters are largely positive, especially to comedies like Mrs.

00:44:20 Squirrell
Brown's Boys has 7.1 out of 10.

00:44:22 Squirrell
**** that.

00:44:23 Squirrell
The Dyer, Only Force and Horses spin-off, The Green Green Grass has 6.6.

00:44:27 Squirrell
Saved by the Bell, The College Years has 6.3.

00:44:30 Squirrell
Velma is an alternate universe adult-themed prequel to Scooby-Doo, and it's rated at 1.6 out of 10, and honestly, that's 0.6 too many.

00:44:41 Squirrell
It's won some awards.

00:44:43 Squirrell
******* Business Insider, Digital Trends, and TV Lion all had it on their list of worst shows of 2023.

00:44:49 Squirrell
Digital Trends actually had it as the worst show of 2023.

00:44:52 Squirrell
And it's a shame because there's so much talent involved, right?

00:44:55 Squirrell
Kelly Kapoor, off of The Office, is one of the writers and plays a now South Asian American Velma.

00:45:02 Squirrell
Constant Wu plays Daphne and she's East Asian American now.

00:45:07 Squirrell
Sam Richardson plays Shaggy, but now he's called Norville, which was always his real name,

00:45:11 Squirrell
Obviously, everybody called him Shaggy.

00:45:13 Squirrell
He's now African-American.

00:45:14 Squirrell
And Glenn Howerton off of Always Sunny is Fred, and Fred's the same as he always was.

00:45:19 Squirrell
Scooby isn't in it.

00:45:20 Squirrell
And I think everyone's also bisexual or gay.

00:45:23 Squirrell
There's nothing wrong with changing some sexualities or races, but the real problem is how it's been done by people who seem to absolutely hate Scooby-Doo.

00:45:32 Squirrell
It's just ******* terrible.

00:45:34 Squirrell
I'm not even going to ******* talk about it so bad.

00:45:36 Squirrell
I'm going to let the LA Times have the last word on this.

00:45:39 Squirrell
There are **** parodies featuring the Scooby-Dan that are funnier than Velma.

00:45:43 Squirrell
There are inadvertent cell phone videos inside of purses and pockets that are funnier than Velma.

00:45:49 Squirrell
There are traffic accident videos that are funnier than Velma.

00:45:53 Squirrell
The only actual comical thing about Velma is that someone thought it would be enjoyed by others.

00:45:59 Squirrell
******* awful.

00:46:00 Hurst
Wow, that is scathing.

00:46:02 Hurst
I'm with you.

00:46:03 Hurst
I'm all for, you know, recast into all sorts of genders, race, whatever.

00:46:08 Hurst
I'm not bothered by that at all.

00:46:09 Hurst
But when it feels done just to show how on board someone is with the woke culture, which again, I don't say people use woke as a bad thing.

00:46:17 Hurst
I never really understood why.

00:46:19 Hurst
But just to do it for the sake of showing how diverse and clever you are, it just feels contrived.

00:46:25 Squirrell
Yes, which would be fine if they were clever about it, but they're ******* not anyway.

00:46:31 Hurst
Yeah.

00:46:31 Hurst
So you have to make it good enough to not see that that's what they've done.

00:46:36 Hurst
Obviously they haven't on this.

00:46:38 Squirrell
Yes.

00:46:39 Squirrell
All right.

00:46:39 Squirrell
Enough talking about that **** Hurst.

00:46:40 Squirrell
Let's hear the best.

00:46:48 Hurst
Excellent.

00:46:49 Hurst
I would be surprised if we're not going to get a

00:46:51 Hurst
an air horn and only our second ever #1 air horn here because there is something that has been omitted from both of our lists so far that is an all pervasive part of society.

00:47:02 Hurst
Everyone can quote it.

00:47:03 Hurst
Everyone's watched it.

00:47:05 Hurst
And I've never met anyone who's gone, no, I don't really get it.

00:47:08 Hurst
I don't find it funny.

00:47:09 Hurst
And that is of course, Family Guy.

00:47:11 Hurst
Family Guy has been going for a very long time now as well.

00:47:14 Hurst
Can't tell you when because again, I didn't really do my research on it.

00:47:18 Hurst
But watching through, as I said on YouTube for

00:47:21 Hurst
The three that I knew I was going to have in my list, Family Guy Funniest Bits, are by far the funniest of the funny bits.

00:47:28 Hurst
It's so strangely wrong.

00:47:32 Hurst
I haven't got an awful lot of notes on it, but...

00:47:37 Squirrell
Well, 1999 can go into your notes.

00:47:39 Hurst
Jesus, 1999...

00:47:41 Hurst
Oh, I put it on the back real quick.

00:47:44 Hurst
Actual bits of paper, Rankers.

00:47:46 Hurst
that's it.

00:47:47 Hurst
I just, I thought I'd brought a few things and I'm writing some notes down, which is everything you've got so far.

00:47:52 Hurst
So my summary was so, wrong, so offensive, so funny.

00:47:57 Hurst
There's no real story to it.

00:47:58 Hurst
It's a lot like Simpsons in as much as each episode is entirely unrelated to the one before.

00:48:05 Hurst
Each one sets itself up and has its own gag, but it has the ongoing relationships and in jokes.

00:48:12 Hurst
Peter Griffin is a...

00:48:14 Hurst
and R-rated Homer Simpson, basically.

00:48:17 Hurst
All the things that the Simpsons, you think, oh, it'd be really funny if Homer did this, but obviously they could never do that.

00:48:22 Hurst
But Family Guy's like, nah, we're going to do that.

00:48:25 Hurst
The jokes don't necessarily make any sense.

00:48:28 Hurst
They set themselves up just for the sake of jokes.

00:48:30 Hurst
They can spend half an episode on something Seth MacFarlane decided was going to be funny, and he was going to use half an episode, sod the story to make it happen, like 5 minute punch ups between Peter Griffen and the giant chicken.

00:48:43 Hurst
It works.

00:48:44 Hurst
It's like, you just

00:48:44 Hurst
Just cram the rest of the story in around that because that is worth it.

00:48:47 Hurst
And I love that he does that.

00:48:49 Hurst
His whole sense of humour is brilliant.

00:48:50 Hurst
Things like he uses racism to poke fun at racism, similarly to the thing he said with Randy in the South Park.

00:48:57 Hurst
They do it so cleverly that you don't think we're always being racist.

00:49:00 Hurst
It's like he is basically taking the **** out of racists and any racists that watch it are going, yeah, don't realise that it's them that are the **** of the joke.

00:49:09 Hurst
It shouldn't work, but it does.

00:49:10 Hurst
So he's super fat and ugly and he's got a smoking hot wife, Lois.

00:49:14 Hurst
who we discussed in TV Sitcom Wives, there are almost no redeeming characters in it, but somehow you love all of them.

00:49:22 Hurst
Obviously, the expression, shut up, Meg came from it.

00:49:24 Hurst
The mental abuse that Meg goes through in that family should definitely not be funny, but yet somehow it is.

00:49:33 Squirrell
And she looks just like Lois, but with different coloured hair and glasses.

00:49:36 Squirrell
And apparently she's the most ugly thing that's ever existed.

00:49:39 Hurst
Yeah, it's a stranger one.

00:49:41 Hurst
And they've got people like Adam West doing cameos, like actual Adam West.

00:49:44 Hurst
is the mayor, not playing the voice of the mayor, but is the mayor, playing the voice of Adam West.

00:49:49 Hurst
And he has a weird relationship with Meg as well.

00:49:51 Hurst
The whole thing is bizarre.

00:49:52 Hurst
And whilst Peter Griffin is clearly the one that has the funniest antics, it's the relationship between him and all the others.

00:50:00 Hurst
So his buddies, Quagmire, the sex pest, and, oh **** Cleveland, Joe?

00:50:09 Hurst
Yeah, okay now.

00:50:11 Hurst
Those guys are sex best.

00:50:12 Hurst
Cleveland, the token black neighbour who gets knocked out of his bath a bunch of times.

00:50:20 Hurst
I don't know.

00:50:21 Squirrell
No.

00:50:22 Hurst
Yeah.

00:50:23 Hurst
And then Joe, the disabled police officer, who would be the guy who's the moral beacon, but obviously not being able to be a police officer like he used to be, running around chasing down the bad guys, being a physical specimen, instead he's stuck in a wheelchair and is forced to be mates, really, with these three other no-goodnicks who drag him down to their level.

00:50:44 Hurst
All the wives are hotter than the husbands.

00:50:45 Hurst
It's just a strange programme.

00:50:48 Hurst
I'm not doing it any justice, but **** it, does matter because everyone has definitely watched it and laughed at it.

00:50:53 Squirrell
That's absolutely true.

00:50:54 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:50:54 Hurst
Would you like to hear a fact and an estimated fact about family guy?

00:50:58 Hurst
Yes, please.

00:50:59 Hurst
Okay, fact.

00:51:00 Hurst
Stewie is English because Seth MacFarlane originally voiced him as an over-the-top impression of a posh British theatre critic who once savaged his college stage show and the voice stuck.

00:51:12 Squirrell
All right.

00:51:14 Hurst
Fact.

00:51:15 Hurst
Seth MacFarlane missed the 9/11 flight he was booked on because he was hungover and arrived late at the airport.

00:51:21 Hurst
Plane was American Airlines Flight 11.

00:51:24 Squirrell
I know.

00:51:26 Squirrell
Yeah, everybody knows the second one is true.

00:51:29 Hurst
I just found out.

00:51:31 Squirrell
It gets referenced a lot on Comedy Roast, which he's in quite a lot of the time, so there we are.

00:51:36 Squirrell
Yes, that is the fact.

00:51:38 Hurst
This is probably the most phoned-in episode I've ever done.

00:51:42 Hurst
So for me, Family Guy is just every little piece of ongoing humour and every little gag is just such a specific humour, but it really appeals.

00:51:52 Squirrell
Yeah, we are.

00:51:53 Hurst
My #1 is Family Guy.

00:51:54 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:51:56 Squirrell
So we are going to need a sound effect, Kirst.

00:51:59 Squirrell
But we're going to need a sound effect that's new because my number one is the 2014 TV show BoJack Horseman.

00:52:11 Squirrell
Oh my God.

00:52:12 Squirrell
It's happened.

00:52:13 Squirrell
We've never had a worst to first.

00:52:17 Hurst
We need to think about it.

00:52:18 Hurst
I was hoping you were going to do a better job of explaining Family Guy for me.

00:52:22 Squirrell
I'm afraid not.

00:52:23 Squirrell
I'm going to convince you to watch BoJack Horseman, which is currently ranked in the top 100 TV shows of all time by people on IMDB.

00:52:33 Squirrell
It has three individual episodes in the top 100 TV episodes of all time.

00:52:38 Squirrell
It is ******* incredible.

00:52:42 Squirrell
There are seven series of BoJack Horseman.

00:52:44 Squirrell
Really, there's only six, but

00:52:46 Squirrell
Clix did that thing where they released two seasons or series that was shorter.

00:52:50 Squirrell
And Wikipedia calls it a tragicomedy.

00:52:53 Squirrell
And I feel there is the problem.

00:52:54 Squirrell
It isn't funny.

00:52:56 Squirrell
It is funny.

00:52:56 Squirrell
It absolutely is funny.

00:52:58 Squirrell
It's not specifically setting out to be hilarious.

00:53:01 Squirrell
It's the least funny thing on my list.

00:53:03 Squirrell
Absolutely.

00:53:04 Squirrell
It's far more grounded than all the other shows, which feels like a weird thing to say, considering it's about a talking horse where the whole world has anthropomorphized animals.

00:53:14 Squirrell
They're not just people with

00:53:15 Squirrell
Animal heads, they're actually the animals, but they're cool.

00:53:18 Squirrell
They also have sex with each other, including the humans, as I'm a bit weird, but somehow you forget about that, like, really quickly.

00:53:24 Squirrell
BoJack is a...

00:53:26 Squirrell
old TV star.

00:53:27 Squirrell
He was a comedian back in the 90s.

00:53:30 Squirrell
He had his very famous TV show.

00:53:32 Squirrell
He is someone like maybe, I don't know, Ray for Everybody Loves Raymond.

00:53:36 Squirrell
And it's in the future now and he's not as big a star anymore.

00:53:39 Squirrell
And it's about how he is dealing with that and how as a ******* terrible human being, he's not a human being, he's a horse, how he is trying to kind of figure out how to become a better person.

00:53:52 Squirrell
He is lauded

00:53:54 Squirrell
its portrayal of mental health, addiction, trauma, depression, the hollowness of fame, and it has huge emotional depth and character development.

00:54:04 Squirrell
It's *******.

00:54:06 Squirrell
Bleak.

00:54:06 Squirrell
I've written it's ******* bleak at times, but it's not.

00:54:09 Squirrell
It's just ******* bleak, because BoJack just can't seem to rid himself of the various demons that he has, and he's legitimately one of the best anti-heroes I can think of, and he's a horse.

00:54:20 Squirrell
Let's not forget that he's a ******* horse.

00:54:23 Squirrell
It ******* whiplashes you between being hilarious and ******* devastating, and it has episodes that will live in your mind forever.

00:54:30 Squirrell
I implore you to watch more of it, Hurst.

00:54:33 Squirrell
It is one of the greatest things, not just anime.

00:54:36 Squirrell
It is one of the greatest TV shows ever made.

00:54:40 Squirrell
So yeah, my best joke from this one is when BoJack gives a painting of a horse looking into the water to a child for its present.

00:54:53 Squirrell
And the mother said, It's A 1970s pop art interpretation of the narcissist myth.

00:54:57 Squirrell
How appropriate for a baby.

00:54:59 Squirrell
Narcissist?

00:55:00 Squirrell
I thought the painting was about me.

00:55:01 Squirrell
Okay.

00:55:04 Squirrell
Would you like a fact, an estimated fact about the TV show you hate, Hurst?

00:55:08 Squirrell
Sure.

00:55:09 Squirrell
Okay.

00:55:10 Squirrell
Will Arnett has named Bojack as the hardest role of his career to get inside, admitting that he sometimes took the darkness of the character home with him.

00:55:20 Squirrell
Or fact, Will Arnett attended the 2020 Comic-Con dressed as a life-size Bojack the Horseman, but nobody knew it was him inside the bus so he could walk around undisturbed.

00:55:32 Hurst
Yeah, let's go for that one.

00:55:33 Squirrell
That he went to the Comic-Con.

00:55:34 Hurst
Yeah.

00:55:35 Squirrell
Nerb made that up.

00:55:36 Squirrell
Will Arnett has indeed named Bojack as the hardest role of his career.

00:55:39 Hurst
Ah, hard that.

00:55:40 Squirrell
They're most successful, just out of interest, you know.

00:55:42 Squirrell
All right, rankers, there are our top fives.

00:55:47 Squirrell
Controversy this episode.

00:55:49 Squirrell
How exciting.

00:55:51 Hurst
In fairness, it would have been more controversial if I had watched more than one episode of the thing that I chose as my worst.

00:55:57 Hurst
In fact, there's probably hundreds of others out there that I didn't watch an episode of.

00:56:02 Squirrell
Yeah, that's true.

00:56:02 Squirrell
I didn't choose Cleveland.

00:56:04 Hurst
I haven't seen that either.

00:56:07 Squirrell
Oh, right.

00:56:07 Squirrell
It's terrible.

00:56:09 Squirrell
So anyway, Dave Paz, thank you very much for that suggestion.

00:56:12 Squirrell
Please give us another if you haven't already.

00:56:14 Hurst
Yeah, sorry, Dave Paz, for not really having put in the work, but for a week I really wasn't able to.

00:56:20 Hurst
And the other part's like, well, how am I going to get into enough TV shows to make a decision on it?

00:56:25 Hurst
TV shows are great if it's something that I've seen a lot of cartoons.

00:56:29 Hurst
I literally have only watched 3, as you now know.

00:56:31 Squirrell
New on the Wheel of Decision Hurst is the top five fictional Malcs.

00:56:37 Squirrell
That's gone from Malc.

00:56:38 Squirrell
So thanks, Malc.

00:56:39 Squirrell
We will see if that bad boy comes up.

00:56:42 Squirrell
Other things.

00:56:43 Squirrell
What we got on there?

00:56:44 Squirrell
Songs from Dirty Dancing.

00:56:45 Squirrell
Haven't done a song one for a long time.

00:56:47 Squirrell
I'm hoping for a song one.

00:56:48 Squirrell
Top Five sports movies, top five Fast and Furious movies, top five Girls Aloud song.

00:56:53 Squirrell
I know Hearst is looking forward to that.

00:56:55 Squirrell
And food ones, top five McDonald's items, top five finger foods.

00:56:59 Squirrell
So all sorts, all sorts on the wheel.

00:57:02 Squirrell
Hearst.

00:57:03 Squirrell
Shall we give it a spin?

00:57:04 Hurst
Let's give it a spin.

00:57:06 Squirrell
Off she goes.

00:57:10 Squirrell
What have we got?

00:57:13 Squirrell
Finger foods.

00:57:14 Hurst
Finger foods.

00:57:14 Hurst
Yeah, I couldn't tell if that was one or not.

00:57:17 Squirrell
It was very nearly fictional, Malc.

00:57:19 Squirrell
Sorry, Malc.

00:57:20 Squirrell
You nearly put one on and then came immediately off again.

00:57:23 Squirrell
But I do top five finger foods.

00:57:26 Squirrell
Who suggested that?

00:57:27 Squirrell
I believe it might have been Matt and Laura.

00:57:30 Squirrell
Yes, Laura.

00:57:31 Squirrell
Is that, oops, I'll beep that surname there.

00:57:33 Squirrell
Is that the Matt and Laura fame?

00:57:35 Hurst
That is Matt and Laura off of Matt and Laura frames of the show.

00:57:37 Squirrell
All right, thank you very much, Matt and Laura.

00:57:39 Squirrell
Look forward to your episode of Finger Foods coming very soon.

00:57:44 Hurst
Excellent.

00:57:44 Squirrell
What else do we chat about at the end, Hurst?

00:57:46 Squirrell
What do we do now?

00:57:47 Hurst
We mentioned that I'm an artist.

00:57:51 Squirrell
We do.

00:57:52 Squirrell
Go ahead and do that.

00:57:53 Hurst
Now, I'm an artist, so buy some stuff because I'm doing this full time at the moment and I'm not making an awful lot of money doing it.

00:58:01 Squirrell
*** **** it, Rankers.

00:58:02 Hurst
Speaking of which, I've done a couple of Kovach baits on my holiday, so I'll get in touch with him about those.

00:58:08 Squirrell
He's deliberately so Kovach will buy them.

00:58:10 Squirrell
He's just baiting Batman stuff.

00:58:12 Hurst
Basically.

00:58:14 Hurst
One Batman one to go in as a pair.

00:58:16 Hurst
He can have first dibs because he's bought stuff from me in the past.

00:58:19 Hurst
I also now do pet portraits as well.

00:58:21 Hurst
I've got a website, pet hyphen portraits.

00:58:24 Hurst
So if people have pets that they like and want me to paint or draw them, then get in touch.

00:58:31 Squirrell
Beautiful.

00:58:31 Squirrell
We also must mention our excellent supporter hub.

00:58:36 Squirrell
Hurst, do you want to go again?

00:58:38 Hurst
Duff Paz, Kovach, Goddess Jasmine and Meg on a temporary visa.

00:58:42 Squirrell
No, Meg's gone.

00:58:43 Squirrell
Sorry, Meg.

00:58:44 Hurst
Sorry, Meg.

00:58:44 Hurst
No longer, Meg.

00:58:45 Hurst
The other three can, though.

00:58:46 Squirrell
They do, but also Gas Chap.

00:58:49 Hurst
No way.

00:58:50 Hurst
We've got a fourth supporter.

00:58:52 Squirrell
We have a fourth official supporter.

00:58:55 Hurst
Oh, welcome to the crew, Gaz Chap.

00:58:57 Hurst
That is, feel the spectral hug that I'm sending away.

00:59:00 Squirrell
He's not even moved his arms, Gaz Chap.

00:59:04 Squirrell
Physically, he has not changed at all, so it must be all mental.

00:59:07 Hurst
It is.

00:59:08 Hurst
It's all mental.

00:59:09 Hurst
I'm focusing hard on it right now at...

00:59:12 Hurst
12.40 on Saturday the 24th of January.

00:59:15 Hurst
If you're feeling a little bit warm and fuzzy, it's because of just sitting here virtual hug.

00:59:19 Squirrell
There you are, gas chap.

00:59:20 Squirrell
Let us know if that happened.

00:59:22 Squirrell
So you can find Top Five Face Off on YouTube.

00:59:26 Squirrell
You can find us on Facebook.

00:59:27 Squirrell
You can find us on Blue Sky.

00:59:28 Squirrell
You can find us on the internet.

00:59:29 Squirrell
Just search Top Five Face Off.

00:59:32 Squirrell
You will end up with us.

00:59:33 Squirrell
We've also got a Patreon, as you just heard.

00:59:35 Squirrell
If you join the official support hub, we will mention you in every episode.

00:59:39 Squirrell
If you just joined the one pound tier, pound a month,

00:59:42 Squirrell
Literally unnoticeable to any bank account that isn't seriously unhealthy.

00:59:46 Squirrell
Honestly, if you can't afford a pound a month and you're listening to this, stop listening to this.

00:59:50 Squirrell
You've got stuff you could be doing.

00:59:51 Squirrell
Anyway.

00:59:54 Squirrell
**** you, the poor.

00:59:57 Squirrell
But for one pound a month, you get to choose what goes on our wheel of decision and we will spin it and maybe you will come up and you also get access to our bonus Patreon only episodes.

01:00:08 Squirrell
**** me, we need to do one of them this month and it's the 24th.

01:00:11 Hurst
We do.

01:00:12 Hurst
That's going to be intriguing, so we'll figure that out.

01:00:16 Squirrell
But it will be excellent by the time we get there.

01:00:19 Squirrell
Do you get anything else?

01:00:20 Squirrell
You get access to some kind of notes about the show, which are largely boring, but people tell me they enjoy them, so I'll keep writing them.

01:00:26 Squirrell
And other stuff too that I haven't even remembered.

01:00:29 Squirrell
For a pound a month.

01:00:31 Squirrell
******* no brainer, mate.

01:00:33 Hurst
Also, you'll get to see all of my reviews of biscuits that I wrote down.

01:00:36 Squirrell
Oh, did you?

01:00:37 Squirrell
Where are they?

01:00:38 Hurst
Well, I'm going to send them to you so you can post them on the Facebook page.

01:00:42 Squirrell
And that's it.

01:00:43 Squirrell
I guess.

01:00:44 Squirrell
That's all we say, right?

01:00:45 Squirrell
We didn't say anything else.

01:00:46 Squirrell
Yeah, I think we've covered it.

01:00:48 Squirrell
Yeah, all right.

01:00:48 Squirrell
Please rewind this podcast for the next person to come along and we will see you in a couple of weeks time for Finger Foods.

01:00:57 Hurst
See you later.

01:00:58 Hurst
Love you.

01:01:03 Harriet
Top Five Face Off is presented by Matt Hurst and Matt Squirrel and produced by Power Storm Awesome Fire Incorporated.

01:01:10 Harriet
For more details and to vote for a winner, visit topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

01:01:15 Harriet
Thanks for listening.

01:01:38 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

01:01:43 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

01:01:46 Hurst
Thanks for tuning in.

01:01:49 Hurst
Sorry for my wonderful.

01:01:50 Squirrell
Thanks for tuning in people from the 1980s.

01:01:54 Hurst
Not like us and all our listeners.

01:01:57 Squirrell
Like most of our listeners.

01:02:03 Hurst
They don't have hooves, they have hands.

01:02:05 Hurst
So they are people.

01:02:06 Squirrell
He has hooves and hands.

01:02:08 Hurst
What, like real horses?

01:02:09 Hurst
Let me just go and quickly spank the wife for her.

01:02:14 Hurst
Can I ask TV shows as a question because I actually couldn't remember if it was just top five that old cartoon.

01:02:22 Squirrell
Technically it is, but I mean, I think that kind of suggests TV shows.

01:02:27 Hurst
Do you wanna re-record it so it says the right thing?

01:02:29 Squirrell
**** it.

01:02:30 Squirrell
People have come to expect this level of ******* amateurism.

01:02:35 Squirrell
Oh, that's also that, yep.

01:02:39 Squirrell
The top five and the worst of, and then we, how have I done this so badly?

01:02:50 Squirrell
It's been a while since we got the hornhurst, hasn't it?

01:02:52 Hurst
Yeah, it has been giggity-goop.

01:03:02 Squirrell
OK, ********.

01:03:03 Squirrell
I had some Pepsi Max in my mouth, Rankers.