S02E12: Finger foods

Transcript

00:00:00 Hurst
Now, A, I feel awkward.

00:00:03 Hurst
B, I feel like some kind of pervy old man.

00:00:09 Harriet
Top Five face-off contains adult themes and language that some people may find offensive.

00:00:14 Harriet
Listener discretion is advised.

00:00:16 Squirrell
He's Matt Hurst.

00:00:17 Hurst
He's Matt Squirrel.

00:00:18 Squirrell
And this is Top Five Face-off, the official world ranking of everything.

00:00:22 Squirrell
What are we ranking today, Hurst?

00:00:24 Hurst
Well, Squirrel.

00:00:25 Hurst
Today, we're going to be ranking the top five finger foods.

00:00:28 Squirrell
That's coming right up after this.

00:00:30 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than one, then there's a best and a worst.

00:00:34 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than five, call Squirrel and Hurst.

00:00:37 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the Top Five Face-off.

00:00:40 Robo-Katy Perry
Actual facts.

00:00:41 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the Top Five Face-off.

00:00:43 Robo-Katy Perry
Facts are exact.

00:00:44 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face-off.

00:00:52 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night, rankers.

00:00:56 Hurst
Welcome back to the shop.

00:00:57 Squirrell
Let me jump right in, right there.

00:00:59 Squirrell
Do you know, Hurst, I think we have a famous ranker listening to us.

00:01:03 Hurst
Do we now?

00:01:04 Squirrell
Yes, have a listen to this.

00:01:06 Fatboy Slim
Good morning, good evening, good afternoon, and good night. My name is Fatboy Slim.

00:01:10 Hurst
Well, he's not listening very carefully because he said it wrong.

00:01:12 Squirrell
He did **** it up, but he's an amateur.

00:01:14 Hurst
Thanks for listening, Fatboy.

00:01:16 Squirrell
Yeah, right.

00:01:16 Hurst
Yeah, it's true.

00:01:17 Hurst
He is new to this presenting business, isn't he?

00:01:19 Squirrell
Now, Norman, I reckon you could find 5 pounds a month to join the official supporter hug, to be honest with me.

00:01:25 Squirrell
I reckon he's got some spare change.

00:01:27 Hurst
Could probably find that down the back of the sofa if he's looked hard enough.

00:01:30 Squirrell
I reckon he could.

00:01:32 Squirrell
Yeah, there you are.

00:01:32 Squirrell
I was very sorry to interrupt you, Hurst.

00:01:34 Squirrell
Although everybody knows what you're going to say anyway, and everybody just skips over that bit.

00:01:37 Squirrell
So if they skipped over that bit, they don't get to hear about Fat Boy Slim.

00:01:40 Hurst
Well, anyway, welcome back, rankers.

00:01:42 Hurst
And if you're new to the show, welcome to Top Five Face Off.

00:01:45 Hurst
Screw on for any new rankers we do have.

00:01:47 Hurst
Why don't you tell them what we do and why we do it?

00:01:49 Squirrell
Hello, rankers at home.

00:01:50 Squirrell
Here's the dealio.

00:01:52 Squirrell
What happens is our Patreon suggests topics and we spin the wheel of decision and it picks us a topic.

00:01:59 Squirrell
Hurst and I pick the top five and the worst from

00:02:02 Squirrell
that topic.

00:02:02 Squirrell
And then you, the rankers at home.

00:02:04 Squirrell
I feel like I've said topic too much.

00:02:06 Squirrell
You, the rankers at home.

00:02:08 Squirrell
Go to www.topfivefaceoff.co.uk and vote to say which one of us is correct because one of us is always correct.

00:02:15 Hurst
And that then becomes the official world rankings.

00:02:18 Squirrell
The official world ranking.

00:02:20 Squirrell
So there could be no more arguments.

00:02:21 Squirrell
Super.

00:02:21 Hurst
Absolutely.

00:02:22 Hurst
But we never get straight to the point because we're British.

00:02:24 Squirrell
So we've already tangented it quite hard and we're barely ******* 2 minutes into the episode.

00:02:30 Hurst
Yeah.

00:02:30 Hurst
I mean, does that count as our small talk?

00:02:32 Hurst
Can we just cut to the chase now and make it a short one?

00:02:34 Squirrell
Hell yeah, I'm down for a short one because I'm really hungry and this episode is only going to make me hungrier.

00:02:39 Hurst
That's better cool.

00:02:40 Hurst
No, but we can't do that to our rankers.

00:02:41 Hurst
We should probably tell them what's been going on.

00:02:43 Hurst
Anything interesting again down your end?

00:02:45 Squirrell
Not just what's been going on, but what's about to go on is tomorrow I will be making the pilgrimage to your house.

00:02:51 Squirrell
Hooray! To watch some egg kickball.

00:02:55 Hurst
Yeah, the superb owl.

00:02:57 Squirrell
Superb owl.

00:02:58 Squirrell
I'm not going to talk about who I think is going to win because last year I said I thought the Chiefs were going to smash it and of course they forgot that they were an American football team.

00:03:07 Hurst
It's true, but also I think most people were probably leaning more towards the Eagles because they were a stronger team last year and your faith was just being able to say

00:03:15 Hurst
the Chiefs at the end of the national anthem.

00:03:19 Squirrell
Which I don't get to do this year because they've very kindly decided to give someone else a try at the Super Bowl.

00:03:24 Hurst
Yeah, they decided not to even bother with the postseason at all.

00:03:26 Hurst
They just sacked it off this year.

00:03:28 Squirrell
So yeah, I won't say who I hope is going to win in case I do jinx them again.

00:03:32 Hurst
Well, for any rankers they don't know me, I'm A Patriots fan, chosen through the obvious reason of they're called New England.

00:03:41 Hurst
And when I was looking down the list of names, that stood out as being a solid enough reason.

00:03:45 Hurst
Turned out they were really good and everyone hated them and it was a very unpopular decision.

00:03:49 Hurst
But I did mean I got to see my team winning for a while, which as a Reading and Worksop fan in the world of English football, I don't get to see that much of.

00:03:57 Hurst
Although we did win 3-1 today against Telford, who have been on excellent run of form, they've only shipped two goals since the beginning of this year, not the football year as in 2026.

00:04:07 Hurst
We stuck three past them today.

00:04:08 Hurst
So yay the Tigers.

00:04:09 Hurst
Well played, boys.

00:04:10 Squirrell
Have you been to the Whole Foods studio?

00:04:15 Squirrell
What is it?

00:04:16 Squirrell
Yes, the Whole Food Stadium.

00:04:18 Hurst
The Windsor Food Service Stadium.

00:04:20 Squirrell
Yes, I have.

00:04:23 Squirrell
Well, good.

00:04:23 Squirrell
I'm glad they did very well.

00:04:25 Hurst
Yes, good times.

00:04:26 Hurst
So yes, sporting times tomorrow.

00:04:28 Hurst
Carly's going to cater and I've told her not to go crazy.

00:04:32 Hurst
So

00:04:33 Hurst
She's probably only going to have enough food for about 7 or 8 people.

00:04:36 Squirrell
Right, got you.

00:04:37 Squirrell
Well, she doesn't know what to make until she hears our lists.

00:04:39 Squirrell
I think if she can make the 10 things that we're going to mention, or maybe only five things if we really agree that.

00:04:46 Hurst
Which we seldom do.

00:04:47 Hurst
So that's what's going on.

00:04:48 Hurst
Yeah, that's what's going on for me as well.

00:04:50 Hurst
Anything been gripping your ****?

00:04:52 Squirrell
No.

00:04:53 Hurst
Oh, that's fortunate.

00:04:56 Squirrell
From the look on your face, I'm going to guess that something's been gripping your ****.

00:05:01 Hurst
I'm glad you asked.

00:05:02 Hurst
Yes, good God.

00:05:04 Hurst
I don't know if you've noticed, but the size of the potholes in the roads in the last, I'd say even six weeks seems to have doubled.

00:05:13 Hurst
They're growing and getting sharper.

00:05:15 Hurst
And in the space of two weeks, we managed to hit two different potholes and burst two different tyres.

00:05:21 Squirrell
Oh, ******* hell.

00:05:22 Hurst
I did the first one on the front right.

00:05:25 Hurst
Carly did the second one on the front left a week later, and it was so bad that it actually dented the rim as well.

00:05:31 Hurst
******* potholes.

00:05:32 Squirrell
Oh dear.

00:05:33 Hurst
So yeah, 200 quid because we went mid-range tyres given the fact that every time you hit a pothole there's danger.

00:05:41 Hurst
200 quid in two weeks because the council cannot get their **** together.

00:05:44 Hurst
******* potholes.

00:05:45 Squirrell
I believe I've had potholes gripping my **** before now.

00:05:48 Squirrell
Malx, let us know.

00:05:49 Squirrell
Eager listening Malx, but I'm pretty sure I've done potholes because I got also a flat tyre and then my spare was flat as well.

00:05:55 Squirrell
Did I say that on this show?

00:05:57 Squirrell
Let us know, Malx.

00:05:58 Hurst
I don't know, but I remember the time when you dropped your keys down the drain.

00:06:02 Hurst
Shenanigans ensued, which was one of the good stories.

00:06:04 Squirrell
The whole ******* st came out to help.

00:06:06 Hurst
My favourite story, I think, was still the one when you were in that restaurant, and the guy was talking about why his open relationship was so good.

00:06:13 Squirrell
Northern, Northern and someone else, I can't remember.

00:06:17 Squirrell
Essex, Essex and Northern, that was it.

00:06:18 Hurst
Aside from the Spice Girls episode, that's the funniest **** that's happened on this show.

00:06:22 Squirrell
Yeah, no, that's pretty good ****.

00:06:24 Squirrell
Enough reminiscing her.

00:06:25 Squirrell
Is anything making you feel old?

00:06:27 Hurst
Last night I went on Instagram.

00:06:29 Hurst
just to see if I'd managed to move up by 1 follower on my dog house art, which I haven't.

00:06:34 Hurst
And someone went live.

00:06:35 Hurst
I was like, oh, that's interesting.

00:06:36 Hurst
And I hit the button to see what it was, because I followed about 2 or 3000 people to just to try and get someone to look at my site.

00:06:42 Hurst
Oh, that's nice.

00:06:43 Hurst
We can be friends.

00:06:44 Hurst
We'll follow you too.

00:06:45 Hurst
So anyway, someone had gone live, had no idea who it was.

00:06:47 Hurst
So I clicked on it.

00:06:48 Hurst
And it was this young black girl from New York sitting there rolling a joint.

00:06:53 Hurst
And I was instantly thinking, well, this probably isn't my seat.

00:06:56 Hurst
I'm guessing it's why I started following people who like New York.

00:06:59 Hurst
because I've done a few photos of New York.

00:07:02 Hurst
But I then realized that I was the only person that was watching.

00:07:05 Hurst
And then because of my RSD and my general stupid brain, I thought, you can't leave.

00:07:10 Hurst
Now I feel really bad about leaving.

00:07:12 Hurst
Right.

00:07:12 Hurst
And then she noticed, I said, hi, is this dog house art?

00:07:16 Hurst
And I'm sitting there thinking, how do I get out here without being rude?

00:07:19 Hurst
How do you homer your way back through the hedge?

00:07:21 Hurst
That was the most British problem of all times.

00:07:25 Hurst
Like this stranger that I've never seen, will never see again.

00:07:27 Hurst
And worst case, my

00:07:29 Hurst
unfollow me if she's even following me now.

00:07:32 Hurst
I don't know how to extract myself from this online situation.

00:07:35 Hurst
And so she started asking me all these questions about who I would ask, where I live.

00:07:39 Squirrell
Wait, can you type the answers?

00:07:41 Hurst
Yeah, you can type the answers.

00:07:43 Hurst
No, she asked questions.

00:07:44 Hurst
I typed answers, which is...

00:07:45 Hurst
Double annoying.

00:07:46 Hurst
It meant she could just ask a question, sit there, carry rolling a stupid big fat reefer.

00:07:51 Hurst
And I had to type in answers.

00:07:53 Squirrell
Without a big fat reefer.

00:07:55 Hurst
And she asked how old I was and I said 47 and I realized she must have been a probably early 20s.

00:08:02 Hurst
And it was like, now A, I feel awkward.

00:08:07 Hurst
B, I feel like some kind of perky old man.

00:08:13 Hurst
So I didn't just feel old, I felt like

00:08:15 Hurst
some kind of old creep and I didn't know how to get out of it.

00:08:18 Hurst
But fortunately, she did decided not to smoke said joint in her room.

00:08:23 Hurst
And she said, I've got to go off for a little bit now, but I'll be back online in about 10 minutes.

00:08:27 Hurst
I was like, yeah, no worries.

00:08:28 Hurst
Nice to meet you.

00:08:30 Hurst
Thank **** that.

00:08:31 Squirrell
Let me get this straight.

00:08:34 Squirrell
She was just live streaming the fact that she was rolling a joint.

00:08:38 Hurst
That was it.

00:08:40 Hurst
That did seem to be her thing.

00:08:41 Hurst
She said she gets high and sometimes sings.

00:08:44 Hurst
That's kind of what she does online.

00:08:46 Hurst
I was like, oh, that's lovely.

00:08:47 Hurst
That's just like my life.

00:08:52 Squirrell
Obviously, she's not very popular.

00:08:55 Hurst
Yeah.

00:08:56 Hurst
I wish there would have been even one other person there.

00:08:58 Hurst
I could have been,

00:09:00 Hurst
How ridiculous.

00:09:01 Squirrell
All of that is ridiculous and I love it.

00:09:06 Squirrell
Good job, Hurst.

00:09:07 Hurst
Yeah, but it made me feel old, amongst other things.

00:09:10 Squirrell
Nothing's making me feel old.

00:09:13 Squirrell
I certainly didn't ramble on about something that wasn't accurate for a good 3 minutes that you won't have heard at home, Murgis.

00:09:21 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:09:21 Hurst
Nothing's making you feel old.

00:09:22 Squirrell
******* quality podcast content, as always, Hurst.

00:09:26 Squirrell
Here's what you could have listened to.

00:09:30 Squirrell
Right, speaking of people being mean on the internet, do you want to hear what people thought about you last time?

00:09:34 Hurst
Can we just skip to the result?

00:09:39 Squirrell
I can start with the result if you want.

00:09:41 Squirrell
I don't mind.

00:09:41 Squirrell
Let's start with how badly it went.

00:09:43 Squirrell
All right, so we were doing adult cartoons suggested by Dav Paz.

00:09:48 Squirrell
Thanks, Dav Paz.

00:09:49 Squirrell
So start with the score, are we, Hirst?

00:09:51 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:09:52 Squirrell
You got 10.

00:09:54 Squirrell
Oh, ****.

00:09:56 Squirrell
And I got 26.

00:09:57 Squirrell
It was quite the shoeing, I'm afraid, Hurst.

00:10:01 Hurst
I'm wondering if that's just because I didn't know what I was talking about or because they actually liked your list more.

00:10:06 Squirrell
I want to talk about that more at the end, but let's go through the comments.

00:10:09 Squirrell
So the first one is from Meg.

00:10:12 Squirrell
Yeah, Meg.

00:10:12 Squirrell
Meg.

00:10:13 Squirrell
Meg 98, being 6.01 in the morning or whatever time she puts these in, who just says, the BoJack contempt will not stand.

00:10:22 Squirrell
So there you are, Hurst.

00:10:24 Hurst
Look, it's not about...

00:10:25 Hurst
What's last?

00:10:27 Hurst
Worst doesn't count.

00:10:28 Hurst
Come on guys, we know this now.

00:10:29 Squirrell
But it does count in this situation because I put it first.

00:10:32 Hurst
That's fine, but that's the BoJack love does qualify.

00:10:35 Hurst
The BoJack contempts irrelevant.

00:10:37 Squirrell
But then straight away Hurst, a vote for you.

00:10:40 Squirrell
BoJack, I mean, nope.

00:10:42 Squirrell
Even the theme song sounds like it's trying to escape from the show.

00:10:45 Squirrell
Episodes oscillate pursuing slapstick humour and let's unpack generational trauma with no warning.

00:10:50 Squirrell
I require hazard pay.

00:10:51 Squirrell
No name on that one, but...

00:10:53 Squirrell
Thank you very much for your wrong opinion.

00:10:55 Squirrell
Another vote for you.

00:10:57 Squirrell
I can't really vote for Squirrel, has not watched any of his choices.

00:11:00 Squirrell
So it's hers this week for me.

00:11:02 Squirrell
I have, however, now started watching Rick and Morty.

00:11:05 Squirrell
Well, that's one of my ******* choices.

00:11:07 Squirrell
I have now, however, started watching Rick and Morty on the back of this and very much enjoying.

00:11:12 Squirrell
So thanks for the recommendation, says JB.

00:11:15 Squirrell
Thanks, JB.

00:11:16 Squirrell
I also had Rick and Morty on my list.

00:11:20 Hurst
You won, whatever.

00:11:21 Squirrell
What's up?

00:11:22 Squirrell
It's Dave Paz here.

00:11:23 Squirrell
I'll be honest, I picked this category to get some solid recommends.

00:11:27 Squirrell
Apologies for dropping a big one on an inconvenient week, but that's just the way the wheel spins.

00:11:32 Hurst
It is absolutely right.

00:11:35 Squirrell
Voting for Squirrel for his obvious passion for the shows he loves, even if I haven't seen a couple.

00:11:39 Squirrell
Top ranking! Thanks, Dafers.

00:11:41 Hurst
Yeah.

00:11:41 Squirrell
And then another one for me.

00:11:44 Squirrell
Okay, spoiler, they're all for me, Mel.

00:11:45 Squirrell
Just for Squirrel's enthusiasm, he's clearly watched all the cartoons.

00:11:49 Squirrell
Cheers, cough.

00:11:50 Squirrell
Now, there's two ways to take that because it's very difficult to figure out intonation from text.

00:11:55 Squirrell
So he might be, he's clearly watched all the cartoons, being a bit of a dig at Hearst, or he's clearly watched all of the cartoons, like I've watched all of them.

00:12:03 Squirrell
So.

00:12:04 Hurst
I think it's more like that.

00:12:05 Hurst
Our rankers aren't typically like overtly mean for no good reason.

00:12:09 Squirrell
Okay, stand by for a couple of comments.

00:12:12 Hurst
No, our good rankers, I meant.

00:12:14 Squirrell
And then here we go.

00:12:15 Squirrell
I'm sorry, I just can't stand Family Guy.

00:12:18 Squirrell
You were saying that you didn't know of anyone who didn't get it.

00:12:20 Squirrell
Well, I don't.

00:12:22 Squirrell
It's just obnoxious and not at all funny.

00:12:24 Squirrell
It would probably go in my worst section.

00:12:27 Squirrell
I've tried to watch Archer and Rick and Morty, but couldn't get past the first episode both times.

00:12:32 Squirrell
I might try them again, but Rick is just so disgusting and it makes me feel a bit sick just thinking about it.

00:12:37 Squirrell
Brackets, which isn't really what you want from a cartoon, close brackets.

00:12:41 Hurst
He is pretty disgusting.

00:12:42 Hurst
It's like all the snorting and coughing.

00:12:43 Hurst
It's like considering how badly I got panned for just eating snacks.

00:12:47 Hurst
I'm not surprised that people don't like the snorts and the grunts and the choking.

00:12:52 Squirrell
They kind of move right away from that in the late seasons.

00:12:55 Squirrell
So for that reason, so there you are.

00:12:57 Squirrell
Like I said, no name.

00:12:58 Squirrell
Don't forget to put your names on these rankers or we can't shout you out properly.

00:13:02 Squirrell
Okay, 2 to go.

00:13:03 Squirrell
Okay, a few things to go through, so sit down and buckle up.

00:13:07 Squirrell
One, we all know that the worst doesn't count, but when it brings out a literal gasp but a virtual double take, then sometimes the worst kind of has to count.

00:13:15 Squirrell
First is a fool, a foolish fool.

00:13:18 Squirrell
Number 2,

00:13:19 Squirrell
In terms of phoned in episodes, it seems like Hurst has forgotten the Spice Girls episode.

00:13:24 Hurst
Okay, I'm going to stick in a massive **** you there.

00:13:26 Hurst
I listened to all of the Spice Girls albums.

00:13:29 Hurst
Right.

00:13:29 Hurst
And they were all dreadful.

00:13:31 Hurst
Yes.

00:13:32 Hurst
Yeah.

00:13:32 Squirrell
We worked hard on the Spice Girls episode.

00:13:34 Hurst
Did we have a name on that one?

00:13:35 Squirrell
It wasn't a list of two things, Hurst.

00:13:37 Squirrell
I'm still going.

00:13:38 Squirrell
Oh.

00:13:38 Squirrell
Three.

00:13:38 Squirrell
No The Simpsons on either list.

00:13:41 Squirrell
Sure, it has its problems, but it fundamentally created and defined the genre.

00:13:46 Squirrell
Family show, not adult.

00:13:48 Squirrell
****** sake.

00:13:48 Squirrell
Yeah, yes.

00:13:50 Squirrell
Four.

00:13:51 Squirrell
Disenchanted.

00:13:52 Squirrell
Really?

00:13:53 Squirrell
That's an absolute pile of ****.

00:13:54 Squirrell
Sort yourself out, Hurst.

00:13:55 Squirrell
I know it wasn't in your list, Hurst, but the fact it threatened it is atrocious.

00:13:59 Squirrell
Not only am I voting on the worst, I'm also voting on things that didn't make the list.

00:14:02 Squirrell
Look what you made me do, Hurst.

00:14:04 Squirrell
This is all your fault.

00:14:05 Squirrell
From Trooper.

00:14:06 Squirrell
From Trooper.

00:14:08 Hurst
You've really **** the bed there, buddy.

00:14:10 Hurst
Our Spice Girls episode was so well researched and it caused me absolute misery.

00:14:14 Squirrell
We listened to the songs over and over again.

00:14:16 Squirrell
And finally, can't believe that Futurama isn't in Squirrel's list, but Hurst is disqualified for lack of thugging effort.

00:14:24 Squirrell
I believe he meant to type ******* but got it wrong.

00:14:27 Squirrell
That's from Money Slinger.

00:14:28 Squirrell
Banks, I guess, Money Slinger.

00:14:30 Squirrell
I want to point something out here.

00:14:32 Squirrell
I put absolutely 0 effort into the show last time because I'd already seen all the cartoons and I didn't have to care.

00:14:39 Squirrell
First went out and ******* watched them all so he could make his top five.

00:14:42 Squirrell
So I'm not convinced what they think is a lack of effort was actually a lack of knowledge.

00:14:48 Hurst
Cheers, mate.

00:14:49 Hurst
I think, yeah.

00:14:51 Hurst
I feel that the panning has been a bit harsh.

00:14:54 Hurst
Yeah, I did phone it in and I admit that, but I was on holiday for a week of that and you can't actually make a judgment on a whole bunch of series of a TV show based on watching an episode.

00:15:04 Hurst
So yeah, it didn't, you know, the cards didn't fall my way that time.

00:15:07 Hurst
It wasn't something I knew anything about or had time to make a knowledgeable opinion about.

00:15:12 Hurst
So cheers, bud.

00:15:13 Hurst
Thanks for sticking up for me.

00:15:14 Squirrell
No, well, plus, that's not going to go one further.

00:15:17 Squirrell
It doesn't matter.

00:15:19 Squirrell
It doesn't matter if your list is the correct list that is the list you should vote for, even if you just turned up, rattled off 5 names, and ****** off again if they're the correct five names.

00:15:31 Squirrell
Vote for Hurst.

00:15:32 Squirrell
I would love it if Hurst did that, because editing this **** takes real much.

00:15:36 Hurst
It does.

00:15:37 Hurst
God, everyone, editing sucks.

00:15:40 Hurst
When we do the Patreon special episodes and I edit them, I literally dread having to do it.

00:15:47 Hurst
I hate it so much.

00:15:48 Hurst
That's how much I love our Patreons, is that I do something that causes me, and I'm slurty.

00:15:54 Hurst
I suspect you're a lot quicker than I am.

00:15:56 Hurst
I've done it a lot more, obviously, and you do the longer episodes, but I am slow at that.

00:16:00 Hurst
Even for half an hour, it'll take me probably 7 or 8 hours.

00:16:03 Squirrell
Yeah, it's terrible, isn't it?

00:16:05 Squirrell
does get better?

00:16:06 Hurst
It's a day's work.

00:16:08 Hurst
And it's awful.

00:16:09 Hurst
Well done, you for editing.

00:16:10 Hurst
I remember how we got there.

00:16:11 Hurst
Let's move on.

00:16:12 Squirrell
Well, let's not, Hearst.

00:16:13 Squirrell
I need to remind the rankers of what it is.

00:16:16 Hurst
Oh, yes, of course.

00:16:17 Hurst
What is your top five?

00:16:19 Hurst
Correction, what is the top five?

00:16:24 Squirrell
At #5, Harley Quinn.

00:16:27 Squirrell
At #4, Final Space.

00:16:32 Squirrell
At #3, Archer.

00:16:35 Squirrell
At #2, Rick and Morty.

00:16:40 Squirrell
And the number one best adult cartoon of all time, Bojack Horseman.

00:16:51 Hurst
Congratulations.

00:16:52 Hurst
That's sorted back-to-back.

00:16:54 Hurst
That one has, yeah, it was deserved.

00:16:57 Hurst
I wasn't looking forward to that one.

00:16:58 Hurst
I didn't do a good job of it.

00:17:01 Hurst
I'm glad it's behind us.

00:17:02 Hurst
And also, shut up, Trooper.

00:17:04 Squirrell
All right, let us move on to Finger Food, suggested by Laura off of Matt and Laura.

00:17:11 Hurst
Indeed, Matt and Laura, friends of the show, longtime listeners, first time wheel people.

00:17:17 Squirrell
Finger Food test.

00:17:18 Squirrell
I feel there's going to be all sorts of

00:17:21 Squirrell
Anything could be a ******* finger food if it really, really wanted to be.

00:17:25 Squirrell
So I think this is just going to be easier if we just let our rancors sort it out.

00:17:29 Hurst
Well, you say that.

00:17:30 Hurst
I'm going to just let you know that because of what happened last week in some ways and what had happened with the kitchen utensils or implements or whichever it was, I decided to get a little bit of clarity from Matt and Laura, friends of the show, as to what he considered to be finger food.

00:17:46 Squirrell
But you didn't tell me this.

00:17:48 Hurst
Yes, I did.

00:17:49 Hurst
I messaged you.

00:17:50 Hurst
Oh, **** did you?

00:17:51 Hurst
on the WhatsApp.

00:17:51 Squirrell
Oh man, oh yeah, look at that.

00:17:54 Squirrell
still could be anything.

00:17:56 Hurst
I mean, yeah, it's still quite loose, but it was something you have to kind of make an effort at.

00:18:00 Hurst
So pouring crisps into a bowl doesn't count?

00:18:01 Squirrell
What if I made the crisps?

00:18:03 Hurst
If you've made the crisps, then I think that's different.

00:18:04 Hurst
If you've done something from scratch, then you've had to put the effort.

00:18:06 Squirrell
So crisps absolutely count.

00:18:09 Hurst
Anyway.

00:18:09 Squirrell
You see, you see my problem.

00:18:12 Hurst
When I said, but then you could say the same about cocktail sausages.

00:18:15 Hurst
All you have to do is open a pack of those and stick sticks in.

00:18:17 Squirrell
Yeah, 100.

00:18:18 Hurst
And Matt says, no, not if you cook them first, like you slow cook them, then drizzle them in maple syrup and then dip them in.

00:18:25 Hurst
It was like, oh, I forgot he's also gourmet.

00:18:28 Squirrell
But if you just open a packet of sausages, they're still finger people.

00:18:31 Squirrell
See, this is the problem, mate.

00:18:32 Hurst
But no, he was saying like they're raw ones that he would cook and present like properly.

00:18:37 Hurst
And I realized that

00:18:39 Hurst
my lowbrow opener pack of something from Sainsbury's or whatever, other supermarkets are available, would not cut the mustard with him.

00:18:47 Hurst
So for this week, I have created not just a list of five, but a Michelin star menu I shall read out to you.

00:18:56 Hurst
And then you can tell me exactly what the layman's term is of what I've just said to you.

00:19:00 Hurst
So that's going to be my game for you this week when we get around to our rankings.

00:19:05 Squirrell
Well, let's get stuck in then, Hurst.

00:19:07 Squirrell
Are you ready?

00:19:08 Hurst
Let's do this.

00:19:09 Squirrell
Let's get ranking.

00:19:14 Squirrell
But who goes first, Hurst.

00:19:16 Hurst
Let's refer to the coin of destiny.

00:19:19 Squirrell
Here it goes.

00:19:21 Squirrell
It's tails.

00:19:22 Squirrell
I get to go first.

00:19:23 Squirrell
That doesn't happen very often.

00:19:24 Hurst
Does girls have tails?

00:19:26 Hurst
It does seem to be disproportionate, doesn't it?

00:19:27 Squirrell
We have tails.

00:19:29 Squirrell
So let's kick off and immediately make Matt off Matt and Laura rage.

00:19:34 Squirrell
with roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, horseradish and gravy.

00:19:38 Squirrell
Now, I can't remember if I had these at my wedding or at someone else's wedding, but basically, they're teeny tiny Yorkshire puddings with a bit of roast beef in them with horseradish sauce and a little tiny bit of gravy in.

00:19:49 Squirrell
And you just pick them up and cram them all in your mouth at once.

00:19:52 Hurst
You know what?

00:19:53 Hurst
I think I might have had that at a wedding once.

00:19:55 Hurst
I hadn't even thought of that.

00:19:57 Hurst
They are ******* tremendous.

00:19:58 Hurst
So maybe it was your wedding.

00:20:00 Hurst
No, it doesn't sound like my wedding.

00:20:03 Squirrell
Oh no, not in Cyprus.

00:20:04 Squirrell
It doesn't sound like something they'd serve in Cyprus.

00:20:07 Hurst
I'm way too highbrow for my wedding.

00:20:08 Squirrell
I was the most ******* highbrow thing at your wedding for saying something.

00:20:14 Squirrell
So yeah, it's basically that simple rankers.

00:20:16 Squirrell
It is a teeny tiny roast dinner, but edible in one foul chomp.

00:20:20 Squirrell
So absolutely should count.

00:20:22 Squirrell
Number 5, roast beef, Yorkshire filling horseradish and gravy.

00:20:25 Hurst
Yeah, no, I really like that.

00:20:27 Hurst
Cool, Fair play.

00:20:28 Hurst
At #5 on my menu.

00:20:31 Squirrell
Oh, yes.

00:20:31 Hurst
Hollowed jalapenos impregnated with a creamed cheese.

00:20:35 Squirrell
Yeah, jalapeno puffers.

00:20:36 Hurst
Hear me out.

00:20:37 Hurst
Elegantly emboldened through breading, then fired urgently.

00:20:41 Hurst
The deep textural narrative demands consideration as spice meets cultural richness.

00:20:47 Hurst
And yes, you're absolutely right.

00:20:48 Hurst
Jalapeno poppers.

00:20:49 Hurst
Yep.

00:20:49 Hurst
Love those things.

00:20:50 Hurst
Obviously not so good once they've cooled down.

00:20:52 Hurst
There are a lot of finger foods that need to be eaten whilst still hot to warm, because once cheese goes from being hot to warm, it changes texture.

00:21:01 Hurst
Yeah, But when you get them fresh, bosh.

00:21:04 Squirrell
Delicious.

00:21:05 Squirrell
Fully agree.

00:21:06 Hurst
Jalapeno poppers, #5.

00:21:07 Squirrell
Brilliant.

00:21:08 Squirrell
Yeah, what's that cheese that goes really bad when you cook it, but not hummus?

00:21:13 Squirrell
What the **** am I trying to say?

00:21:15 Squirrell
Halloumi.

00:21:16 Hurst
Halloumi.

00:21:17 Squirrell
Yeah, halloumi cheese goes all squeaky.

00:21:19 Hurst
I like that one, so it's cold.

00:21:21 Hurst
Yeah, I love that.

00:21:22 Hurst
I love squeakiness.

00:21:23 Squirrell
What?

00:21:24 Hurst
Are you freak?

00:21:25 Squirrell
What the ****?

00:21:26 Hurst
In fairness, I also like things that have gone stale.

00:21:28 Hurst
So when what's-its have gone a little bit stale and they're not quite as crunchy, they're almost hidden into chewy.

00:21:33 Hurst
That's the beak.

00:21:34 Hurst
Yeah, I know, I'm weird like that.

00:21:36 Hurst
I used to have some neighbours who, when we were coming round, they'd leave crisps out for a day before we came, because they'd be just right for me, best neighbours.

00:21:42 Squirrell
Right, because I'm pulling faces.

00:21:46 Hurst
I like stale things.

00:21:48 Squirrell
I can't go over that you like the squeaky teeth.

00:21:50 Squirrell
That's like ******* enjoying running your nails down a jaw bottle.

00:21:54 Hurst
No, that's awful.

00:21:55 Hurst
No, but the squeaky cheese, I mean, that squeaks.

00:21:57 Hurst
It mostly squeaks.

00:21:58 Squirrell
You know, if you cook it right, it won't though.

00:22:00 Squirrell
That's the point.

00:22:01 Hurst
Yeah, I still like it.

00:22:04 Squirrell
Let us know what you think, Rick.

00:22:05 Squirrell
Leave it on.

00:22:05 Hurst
Number 4.

00:22:07 Squirrell
Not part of the list.

00:22:08 Squirrell
Number 4 for me is pork pies.

00:22:10 Squirrell
The little ones, obviously, that you can smash into your face in one go.

00:22:13 Squirrell
Not the massive ones.

00:22:15 Squirrell
Pork pies is well nice.

00:22:16 Squirrell
I don't know where else to go with this, apart from probably trying to explain it for Ohio and the rest of our overseas listeners.

00:22:22 Hurst
Oh yeah, do that.

00:22:23 Squirrell
Well, ******* up.

00:22:24 Squirrell
I set off with quite a lot of confidence then, stopped and thought, what the ****?

00:22:28 Squirrell
So it's kind of sausage meat with certain spices in, and it's squished in between a layer of jelly.

00:22:35 Hurst
Now, see, that jelly to me has the same reaction as you had when I said I like the squeaky cheese.

00:22:42 Squirrell
Pork pie jelly is a gelatinous aspic, typically made from simmered beef trotters, bones and herbs.

00:22:51 Squirrell
Yep.

00:22:51 Squirrell
How you like that, foreign folk?

00:22:53 Squirrell
How you like a weird *** food?

00:22:55 Squirrell
And then the whole thing is surrounded in, what is it, a hot water crust pastry, isn't it?

00:23:00 Squirrell
And then you smash it into your face, go oomp.

00:23:02 Squirrell
You can't get the non-jelly ones for weirdos like you.

00:23:05 Hurst
We also eat cooked blood and call it black pudding.

00:23:08 Hurst
So, you know.

00:23:09 Squirrell
Yeah, it's delicious.

00:23:10 Hurst
Trotters isn't actually that weird for us.

00:23:12 Hurst
Offal is a thing in this country.

00:23:13 Hurst
I don't know.

00:23:15 Squirrell
It is not so much as it is in Asia and stuff, but we certainly do our offer.

00:23:19 Squirrell
I don't particularly enjoy the jelly part.

00:23:22 Squirrell
I would be just as happy to have it without it.

00:23:24 Squirrell
It's not like I'd eat it on its own, because that does feel a bit rough.

00:23:27 Squirrell
But yeah, I know you can get the no jelly ones for people who aren't into jelly.

00:23:31 Squirrell
So if you want that, that's fine.

00:23:33 Hurst
The difficulty I have with pork pies is that I understand why people like them, but

00:23:39 Hurst
When I was younger, probably around 10 or whatever, I'd been out and I played football in my base and I was like muddy and I came home and I had my tea and I didn't wash my hands because I was a kid and there was no one supervising me and that particular moment.

00:23:49 Hurst
And I ate pork pie and I had bacteria on my hands and the lock clean hands made me sick for several days.

00:23:58 Hurst
And every time I did, I could taste pork pie.

00:24:00 Hurst
So, you know, when you've been sick on something, it's very hard to get over.

00:24:03 Squirrell
Yes.

00:24:04 Hurst
So any kind of pork pie is a massive no-no for me.

00:24:08 Hurst
It just brings

00:24:09 Hurst
back terrible memories.

00:24:12 Squirrell
Number four, pork pies.

00:24:14 Hurst
Irrelevant story.

00:24:15 Hurst
We can cut all of that out.

00:24:16 Squirrell
No, I'm keeping it in.

00:24:18 Squirrell
I'm very sorry that happened to you.

00:24:20 Hurst
Okay.

00:24:21 Hurst
Number four on our menu, du jour.

00:24:25 Hurst
Hear it out and then tell me what I'm talking about.

00:24:28 Hurst
A haughty choreography of griddled beef caught between conflicting miniature briochettes.

00:24:33 Hurst
Executed through the medium of diminutive scale, intersecting with universal appeal, resolving with authority.

00:24:40 Squirrell
******** sliders.

00:24:41 Hurst
Yeah.

00:24:42 Hurst
Slider slash mini burgers.

00:24:44 Hurst
Love those *******.

00:24:46 Hurst
Burgers are great.

00:24:47 Hurst
Mini burgers are something you can just chuck in your mouth.

00:24:49 Hurst
Like mini pork pies.

00:24:50 Hurst
It's like the big one's great, but you don't want to sit at a party just chomping your way through a burger.

00:24:54 Hurst
So instead you could have four or five of those.

00:24:57 Hurst
No one would know you basically just had a burger, but you still get that joyous satisfaction.

00:25:01 Hurst
And you can have burger sauce on them.

00:25:03 Hurst
You can have little bits of cheese on them.

00:25:04 Hurst
You can really kind of go to town on it as miniaturizing things go.

00:25:08 Hurst
I don't think there's much that is better worked through the miniaturization process than sliders #4.

00:25:13 Squirrell
There you are.

00:25:14 Squirrell
Can't complain.

00:25:15 Squirrell
Apart from the menu description of them, of course, they are most irritating to make yourself.

00:25:20 Squirrell
I don't recommend doing it because you're just making burgers, but you have to make five times as many for the exact reasons that you just said.

00:25:26 Squirrell
So yeah, it's annoying to me.

00:25:27 Squirrell
But, I will cram them in my mouth if someone else has made them absolutely amazing.

00:25:31 Hurst
As the recipient, they are excellent.

00:25:33 Hurst
And I think that's what we're going for here.

00:25:34 Hurst
We're going, we're basing this on being the receiver of the food rather than.

00:25:38 Squirrell
100%.

00:25:38 Squirrell
I'm not talking about what's fun to cook.

00:25:40 Squirrell
Poor pies are a *******.

00:25:41 Squirrell
Anyway, at #3, yeah?

00:25:44 Squirrell
No?

00:25:44 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:25:45 Squirrell
#3 at #3 at #3 at #3 for me.

00:25:49 Squirrell
Hey, it's jalapeno poppers.

00:25:50 Hurst
Yay.

00:25:51 Squirrell
For all the reasons her said.

00:25:53 Squirrell
Jalapeno poppers are, well, nice.

00:25:57 Squirrell
If you somehow don't know what they are, and I guess we have listeners from all over the world now, so it's a very real chance that they don't know what a jalapeno popper is.

00:26:04 Squirrell
You get a jalapeno.

00:26:05 Squirrell
You cut it so you can smash soft cheese on the inside, maybe a Philadelphia cheese, some sort of cream cheese on the inside.

00:26:12 Squirrell
Then you basically breadcrumb it so you dunk it in some sort of binding agent, wrap it in breadcrumbs, you deep fry it, then you...

00:26:19 Squirrell
try and eat it too quickly and it's far too ******* hot.

00:26:22 Squirrell
So you have to leave it for a bit, but not too long, like her said, because when they first come out the fryer, they are llama.

00:26:29 Squirrell
And yeah, then you mush them in your face.

00:26:31 Squirrell
Now the Americans do it a little bit differently.

00:26:33 Squirrell
They would have the same kind of jalapeno with cream cheese and sometimes they put sausage meat in there as well, cooked first.

00:26:39 Squirrell
Sometimes they don't, but they would wrap those in bacon and then cook it.

00:26:43 Squirrell
But they don't bread them and fry them, at least what I've seen.

00:26:46 Squirrell
But there we are.

00:26:46 Squirrell
Both equally worth stuffing in my face.

00:26:49 Squirrell
Number 3, jalapeno puppets.

00:26:53 Hurst
Yeah, good call, man.

00:26:54 Hurst
Good call.

00:26:55 Hurst
Right, #3 on my menu.

00:26:57 Hurst
Wings of free-range poultry conscientiously marinated overnight in a classic buffalo potionese.

00:27:03 Hurst
Slow-cooked, then finished at high heat, exploring the tension between crisp exterior and yielding interior.

00:27:10 Squirrell
It's wangs, mate.

00:27:11 Hurst
Buffalo wangs.

00:27:12 Hurst
All right.

00:27:13 Hurst
*** ****.

00:27:13 Hurst
I was in Georgia in September, as I believe the rank is no end.

00:27:17 Hurst
We were in our end of season break.

00:27:19 Hurst
And I went to a bar with my cousin to watch a bit of afternoon American football, which is joyful, because it was what would have been the evening game, like the 6 o'clock kickoff.

00:27:29 Hurst
Yes.

00:27:29 Hurst
Obviously, it was lunchtime there.

00:27:30 Hurst
And I'd said I wanted to go and experience like some proper wangs.

00:27:34 Hurst
And they have this plate that you can choose four or five different types of wings and they just tell you how hot they are.

00:27:40 Hurst
And I just went for all the sorts of like, there was Tennessee wings, buffalo wings, there was just multiples of flavours and they were bigger and juicier and hotter and better than any wings I've had outside of Meat Up Fest.

00:27:52 Hurst
Just spectacular.

00:27:54 Hurst
I loved them so hard.

00:27:56 Hurst
Top tip for rankers who wear contact lenses.

00:27:59 Squirrell
Oh God.

00:27:59 Hurst
Don't eat wangs, hot wangs, the same day that you're going to be wearing contact lenses because at some point you've got to take those out and whilst you can clean your fingers, apparently you can't clean them of heat.

00:28:11 Squirrell
Can't clean them enough.

00:28:12 Hurst
No.

00:28:13 Squirrell
Fair enough.

00:28:14 Squirrell
There we go.

00:28:14 Squirrell
So that was your #3.

00:28:15 Squirrell
Are they finger food?

00:28:19 Hurst
You have to cook them and you eat them with your fingers.

00:28:21 Squirrell
But again, we're back to that big true of every single food that exists.

00:28:25 Hurst
Yeah, but you wouldn't use a knife and fork on those.

00:28:27 Hurst
You wouldn't sit down and just have them as the only thing that you're eating.

00:28:32 Hurst
I mean, if you're having Yorkshire puds with roast beef, I can definitely have wings.

00:28:36 Squirrell
The important bit for me was you can cram them all in your face in one go.

00:28:39 Hurst
Oh, no, I don't think that's all.

00:28:41 Squirrell
Our rankers will have to let us know, Hers.

00:28:44 Hurst
And in fairness, you could just jam them in your mouth all in one go, but then you'd have to try and do some fancy tongue work around the bones and get the good bits off.

00:28:52 Squirrell
Let's move on to my numero dos.

00:28:55 Squirrell
Hey, yeah, my #2 is sausage rolls.

00:28:58 Squirrell
Simple, right?

00:28:59 Squirrell
The little ones, obviously, so you can cram them all in your mouth at the same time.

00:29:02 Squirrell
Although in fairness, going by first version, I can have a Gregg sausage roll and that would be fine.

00:29:06 Hurst
But.

00:29:07 Hurst
No, too big.

00:29:09 Squirrell
Why?

00:29:11 Squirrell
does size suddenly matter?

00:29:12 Squirrell
What just happens?

00:29:13 Hurst
Oh, Finger Foods is, you know, the size is a thing.

00:29:17 Hurst
Otherwise, you're just like, well, it's just a ought to poop rather than a miniature one.

00:29:21 Squirrell
I guess you could pick them up.

00:29:23 Squirrell
Anyway, we're moving on.

00:29:24 Hurst
Why go miniature?

00:29:25 Hurst
Oh, the rankers are going to have a field day.

00:29:27 Squirrell
They are going to have a field day.

00:29:28 Squirrell
They're going to be, what the **** are these idiots all about?

00:29:30 Squirrell
Well, I'll tell you what we're on about.

00:29:31 Squirrell
Rankers.

00:29:32 Squirrell
We're telling you the official time by finger boots.

00:29:36 Squirrell
And if you'd thought about finger foods as much as we ******* have this week, you'd understand.

00:29:41 Squirrell
Anyway, sausage rolls, the little ones.

00:29:42 Squirrell
Sausage rolls are well nice.

00:29:43 Squirrell
In America, you call them pigs in blankets and you do them wrong.

00:29:47 Squirrell
You use the wrong kind of pastry.

00:29:49 Squirrell
Shortcast, losers.

00:29:51 Squirrell
Sausage rolls should be in puff pastry and it's basically just sausage meat cooked in puff pastry which then ram in your face.

00:29:57 Squirrell
You can do all sorts, you can put honey up in there, you can put cheese and Marmite or herbs and all sorts of fancy schmancy ****.

00:30:05 Squirrell
Get some Judah in there, why not?

00:30:07 Squirrell
It's up to you, doesn't matter, they're great.

00:30:08 Squirrell
Sausage rolls, bam, #2.

00:30:10 Hurst
I like it.

00:30:10 Hurst
I was going to then say, God, Americans calling them pigs in blankets.

00:30:14 Hurst
That does actually make a lot more sense than what we call pigs in blankets.

00:30:18 Hurst
Our pigs in blankets are basically pigs in pig blankets or pigs in other pigs skin.

00:30:25 Hurst
Anyway, sausage rolls are nice.

00:30:26 Squirrell
Yeah, they are.

00:30:27 Hurst
Good party food, solid.

00:30:29 Squirrell
Always.

00:30:29 Squirrell
And beige, very important for an English buffet.

00:30:31 Squirrell
Get the beige on there.

00:30:32 Hurst
That is some serious beige buffet stuff.

00:30:35 Hurst
Yeah, I like sausage rolls, but find them, they wouldn't be that high up the list for me.

00:30:38 Hurst
They need to be there, don't get me wrong.

00:30:40 Hurst
There are things that need to be on a beige buffet and there are things that need to be at parties and they are one of them, but they are not the ones that run out first in my experience.

00:30:50 Squirrell
All right, well then tell me what is better than a sausage roll at #2 then, Nurse.

00:30:54 Hurst
I will tell you.

00:30:55 Hurst
aged and solidified bovine nursing juice, mutually engaged with cuboid pineapple and vinegarised miniature onionettes, offering interplay between nostalgia and nuance.

00:31:07 Squirrell
That is a combination of cheese and pineapple and cheese and pickled onions on sticks.

00:31:11 Hurst
That's exactly right.

00:31:13 Hurst
Bosh those three together.

00:31:14 Hurst
Unbelievable.

00:31:15 Hurst
You think, no, that can't work, because first time I saw it, I'd only ever had the cheese and pineapple.

00:31:20 Hurst
I thought, I do like pickled onions, so I'm going to give it a fair whack.

00:31:24 Hurst
Well, **** me dead.

00:31:25 Hurst
So, good.

00:31:27 Hurst
You've got the sweetness of the pineapple.

00:31:29 Hurst
You've got the savouriness of the cheese in that kind of nice tactile cheese taste.

00:31:34 Squirrell
So this is all three things on one stick, is it?

00:31:36 Hurst
All 3 things on one stick.

00:31:38 Squirrell
Oh, I've not seen that before.

00:31:40 Hurst
And you bam that ************

00:31:41 Hurst
your mouth and you get all three tastes.

00:31:44 Hurst
They just, they work so well together.

00:31:46 Hurst
They're one of those things you think, I'm not sure, but *** **** try before you deny.

00:31:52 Hurst
So yeah, my #2 is cheese, pineapple and pickled onions all in one stick.

00:31:59 Squirrell
You're so ******* gourmet.

00:32:01 Hurst
I know.

00:32:01 Hurst
No one saw it come in.

00:32:03 Squirrell
Your #2 best ******* finger food is cheese and pineapple.

00:32:09 Hurst
Hang on, you just pulled out a sausage roll for yourself.

00:32:12 Hurst
How is that more sophisticated?

00:32:14 Squirrell
It's mad.

00:32:15 Squirrell
You can make them mad fancy.

00:32:18 Squirrell
This is not about the fanciest finger foods.

00:32:20 Squirrell
That is not the ranking.

00:32:21 Squirrell
We are ranking the best.

00:32:22 Hurst
I urge all the rankers to go and try that if they haven't, because it's insane.

00:32:27 Squirrell
All right.

00:32:28 Squirrell
Anyway, moving on.

00:32:29 Squirrell
We're not going to talk about the best things anymore, Hurst.

00:32:31 Squirrell
It's time for the worst.

00:32:37 Hurst
What's the worst?

00:32:38 Squirrell
My worst is something that I ate because it tricked me.

00:32:42 Squirrell
I don't like the food that ******* tricks me.

00:32:45 Squirrell
My worst is gala pies.

00:32:47 Squirrell
Do you know what a gala pie is?

00:32:49 Hurst
I do not.

00:32:50 Hurst
Did you think it was a gala?

00:32:51 Squirrell
No, I thought it was a pork pie because they look like pork pies.

00:32:54 Squirrell
They are basically pork pies, but they have a ******* egg in them.

00:33:00 Squirrell
I don't like eggs.

00:33:01 Squirrell
I think they're *******.

00:33:03 Squirrell
So when one sneaks up on me in a pork pie, which because of a greedy bass, I've just crammed in my mouth all at once, right?

00:33:08 Squirrell
They might have been quail eggs.

00:33:10 Squirrell
They were very small.

00:33:10 Squirrell
I don't care.

00:33:11 Squirrell
I don't like any kind of eggs.

00:33:13 Squirrell
I'm like, munch, munch, delicious pork.

00:33:17 Squirrell
It was.

00:33:19 Squirrell
And I was hungover anyway.

00:33:21 Squirrell
This is the worst way of this is I was eating leftover party food from the party the night before.

00:33:27 Squirrell
Because I'd woken up in some stranger's house and I was really ******* hungry and I couldn't find their fridge.

00:33:35 Squirrell
They have one of them ******* kitchens, you know, where the fridge is just like any other cupboard.

00:33:39 Squirrell
I looked and I got fed up and I just started eating the stuff off the kitchen counter.

00:33:44 Squirrell
And I was like, yeah, pot pies, because they stay good for a long time.

00:33:47 Squirrell
They're in that.

00:33:47 Squirrell
It's a trap.

00:33:48 Squirrell
And it was a ******* trap first.

00:33:51 Squirrell
And when I did find the ******* fridge and I found the orange juice, I was the only one in this house.

00:33:57 Squirrell
I don't know what the **** had gone on.

00:33:58 Squirrell
So I just scrammed down the orange juice out of the car like an absolute monster.

00:34:03 Squirrell
I had a look.

00:34:04 Squirrell
It was extra bitty.

00:34:06 Squirrell
Who does that?

00:34:07 Squirrell
Who does this?

00:34:08 Squirrell
Whose house are they in?

00:34:09 Squirrell
It's ******* free.

00:34:10 Squirrell
So yeah, then I was sick.

00:34:15 Squirrell
Wow.

00:34:15 Squirrell
That was a **** morning.

00:34:17 Squirrell
Someone's trap went off perfectly.

00:34:19 Squirrell
They could have set that up just for me.

00:34:20 Squirrell
I hate bits in my orange juice and they apparently get extra bits put in.

00:34:24 Squirrell
I mean, what is the point?

00:34:26 Squirrell
Just eat a ******* orange.

00:34:28 Hurst
Man, you walk straight into an acme squirrel trap.

00:34:30 Squirrell
That's in.

00:34:32 Squirrell
I don't think they knew who I was.

00:34:33 Squirrell
I didn't know who they were.

00:34:34 Squirrell
I'd **** knows whose house it was.

00:34:36 Hurst
I like bits in my orange, but I wouldn't get extra bits.

00:34:39 Hurst
Carly can't stand it.

00:34:40 Hurst
I like it.

00:34:41 Hurst
I mean, primarily because when you have freshly squeezed orange juice, it has bits in it and it kind of pretends to be that.

00:34:47 Squirrell
I don't know, chinois or sieve, a sieve.

00:34:51 Squirrell
Not if you put it, I didn't say that.

00:34:52 Squirrell
Not if you put it through a sieve.

00:34:54 Squirrell
Well, that's the actual name of the thing you would use.

00:34:56 Squirrell
A sieve would be too big.

00:34:58 Squirrell
Anyway.

00:34:59 Hurst
Fair enough.

00:35:00 Hurst
Gross.

00:35:00 Hurst
When I was discussing with Carly what might be on my most hated, she threw an egg one out there, which was the deviled egg, because it's a boiled egg.

00:35:08 Hurst
You cut it in half, you take out the yolk, you mash up the yolk with something, and then you put it back in.

00:35:13 Hurst
What the **** is the point?

00:35:16 Hurst
It makes taste better.

00:35:17 Hurst
I mean, I'm not eating them.

00:35:20 Hurst
You know what?

00:35:21 Hurst
Yeah, I see it.

00:35:22 Hurst
But for me, my worst one is mini pizzas.

00:35:25 Hurst
Those little tiny round ones.

00:35:29 Hurst
Not because they taste terrible, but because big pizzas are famously cut into finger friendly slices whilst maintaining the correct consistency and ratios of ingredients, you're enjoying pizza in a finger food size.

00:35:42 Hurst
However, mini pizzas taste too strongly of tomato.

00:35:46 Squirrell
Yes.

00:35:46 Hurst
Base becomes too crunchy.

00:35:48 Squirrell
Yeah, they've never got enough cheese on.

00:35:50 Hurst
Yeah, they've never got enough cheese.

00:35:51 Hurst
There's too much tomato.

00:35:52 Hurst
The base becomes too crunchy because it's too small and the whole thing is deeply unsatisfactory.

00:35:57 Hurst
They've taken something good, changed

00:35:59 Hurst
it a little bit, made it smaller, and made it taste worse.

00:36:02 Hurst
Stupid, stupid idea.

00:36:04 Hurst
**** you, mini pizzas.

00:36:05 Squirrell
Fully concur.

00:36:06 Squirrell
Yeah, **** you, mini pizzas.

00:36:08 Squirrell
Well, if you just took a whole pizza and used a kind of what they call a cookie cutter, biscuit cutter to take bits of it out, that would be right.

00:36:15 Squirrell
No one does that.

00:36:15 Hurst
That would be better.

00:36:16 Hurst
That would be better.

00:36:17 Hurst
One of the joys of pizza is it's got some eyes on it.

00:36:21 Squirrell
Yes.

00:36:22 Hurst
Yeah, it comes with a handle.

00:36:23 Hurst
Whereas those, you'd be getting it all over your fingers, and you'd also have pizza waste, and that would be a sad thing.

00:36:29 Squirrell
You'd scram that in the kitchen, right?

00:36:30 Squirrell
That's for the chef.

00:36:32 Hurst
Yeah, I suppose, but it just all feels a bit unnecessary when you can just make a pizza and cut it into slices.

00:36:37 Hurst
And the nice thing with slices is you can make them as big or small as you want.

00:36:41 Squirrell
That's true.

00:36:41 Squirrell
That is absolutely true.

00:36:43 Squirrell
Right.

00:36:43 Squirrell
Forget about those ****** things, Hest.

00:36:45 Squirrell
Let's move on.

00:36:46 Hurst
Yeah.

00:36:46 Hurst
None of that matters.

00:36:47 Hurst
The worst is not what we are voting on.

00:36:49 Squirrell
Doesn't matter, Rankers.

00:36:51 Squirrell
What matters is this.

00:36:59 Squirrell
First my very favourite finger food is something I insisted upon at my wedding much to the chagrin of the people serving it and the people making it and probably my wife because it was ************* cheese and pineapple on sticks son! Yeah baby! I love that ****! Oh my god I love it so much! One of my favourite ******* foods.

00:37:20 Squirrell
I'm gonna go make some after this because I'm mad hungry now but cheese and pineapple on sticks.

00:37:24 Squirrell
It's glorious.

00:37:25 Squirrell
It's just

00:37:27 Squirrell
Glorious.

00:37:27 Squirrell
**** *** if you don't like it.

00:37:28 Squirrell
I don't like you now.

00:37:29 Squirrell
Come at me.

00:37:30 Squirrell
Don't care.

00:37:31 Squirrell
Cheese and pineapple on sticks.

00:37:32 Squirrell
Nothing more to be said.

00:37:33 Squirrell
Get some pineapple, get some cheese, stick, face, eat.

00:37:37 Squirrell
Best finger food?

00:37:38 Hurst
Yeah, no, it's excellent.

00:37:40 Hurst
It's truly excellent.

00:37:41 Hurst
And the fact that it's scored your top spot and my second spot, the only thing that might change for you though is tomorrow when I stick a pickled onion on that.

00:37:48 Hurst
Pickled onion on that rofo.

00:37:51 Hurst
You might need to review your feelings about it.

00:37:53 Squirrell
Would you like a fact, an estimated fact about cheese and pineapple and sticks, Hurst?

00:37:58 Hurst
I would like both of those things, please.

00:37:59 Squirrell
Well, you can't have one because there are absolutely no facts about cheese and pineapple and sticks.

00:38:04 Squirrell
It's far too simple.

00:38:05 Squirrell
So it's instead is a fact and an estimated fact about toothpicks themselves or cocktail sticks.

00:38:12 Squirrell
So here we go.

00:38:12 Squirrell
Fact, the waste wood that is left over when a toothpick is carved during the manufacturing process is enough to make just over six toothpicks.

00:38:21 Squirrell
Now just over six toothpicks in my head is seven toothpicks, but I think they mean six and a little bit, right?

00:38:26 Hurst
So for each toothpick...

00:38:28 Squirrell
For each toothpick, what you cut off, you could make six more, yeah.

00:38:31 Squirrell
But you can't because you've cut it off, but yeah.

00:38:33 Squirrell
And fact, most toothpicks are made from birch.

00:38:37 Hurst
It's interesting, I feel like...

00:38:40 Hurst
That would be an awful lot of waste.

00:38:44 Hurst
I think I'm going to go with B as the fact that birch is maybe the thing, because it would make sense to have, there would be things like making cricket bats out of willow.

00:38:53 Hurst
It's the best word for that particular job.

00:38:56 Hurst
I'm going to say birch.

00:38:57 Squirrell
You're correct.

00:38:58 Squirrell
They went up completely.

00:38:59 Squirrell
I have no idea if it is just over 6 and I was dead on.

00:39:02 Squirrell
I apologize.

00:39:03 Squirrell
I know there is a waste, but I have no idea of the number.

00:39:06 Hurst
There we go.

00:39:07 Hurst
Fun stuff.

00:39:07 Hurst
All right.

00:39:08 Hurst
That brings us to number one on the menu at Shea Hurst.

00:39:14 Squirrell
Shea Hurst.

00:39:15 Squirrell
We didn't have a name for this restaurant before.

00:39:17 Squirrell
Shea Hurst.

00:39:17 Hurst
We do now.

00:39:18 Hurst
Shea Hurst, number one on the menu.

00:39:21 Hurst
The most popular of our finger foods, our Fong Grey foods.

00:39:27 Squirrell
Was that your attempt at finger foods in French?

00:39:31 Hurst
Just, I didn't know French, it just sounded potter.

00:39:33 Squirrell
Amuse Goulet, I believe.

00:39:36 Squirrell
Not very good.

00:39:36 Squirrell
Or something like that, my pronunciation is probably ****.

00:39:39 Hurst
Miniature onionettes.

00:39:40 Hurst
I don't think onionettes is a thing either, but sometimes you've got a...

00:39:43 Hurst
The gale onions.

00:39:45 Hurst
And buffalo potionese.

00:39:48 Hurst
I think potionese isn't another word for sauce or marinade, but it felt like something that might be on a Michelin starred menu.

00:39:55 Hurst
So anyway.

00:39:55 Hurst
A doublet of porcine cuts, closely wrapped and oven cooked to a crisped conclusion.

00:40:01 Hurst
Individually skewered and presented rampantly.

00:40:03 Hurst
The confluence of rendered fat and seasoned flesh delivers a sturdy, indulgent compression, where

00:40:09 Hurst
Strange is neither expected nor offered.

00:40:11 Squirrell
There we go.

00:40:12 Squirrell
How are they arranged on the plate set again?

00:40:14 Squirrell
Haphazard, not rapidly, rapidly.

00:40:16 Hurst
Presented rampantly.

00:40:17 Squirrell
I want to see what that looks like.

00:40:20 Hurst
And what are they?

00:40:21 Squirrell
Pigs in blankets, I assume.

00:40:22 Hurst
Yeah, I see these pigs in blankets, my number one.

00:40:24 Squirrell
The English version.

00:40:26 Hurst
The English version, which is a miniature little cocktail sausage wrapped in some bacon and cooked up.

00:40:31 Hurst
And you can do clever things with it, like honey glaze and putting on things like sesame seeds.

00:40:36 Hurst
But frankly, if you just grind a bit of pepper,

00:40:39 Hurst
Get the old pepper cannon out, get that going and yeah, pepper does the job.

00:40:43 Hurst
In fact, you want to do that before you cook it because, suit you.

00:40:47 Hurst
Would you like to hear my facts and estimated facts about pigs in blankets?

00:40:53 Squirrell
Hit me.

00:40:54 Hurst
During the Victorian era, pigs in blankets were traditionally served as a breakfast food to coal miners because the fat content was believed to insulate the lungs against the cold air.

00:41:04 Squirrell
All right, yep.

00:41:05 Hurst
Fact.

00:41:06 Hurst
Between 2018 and 2022, UK December sales of pigs in blankets increased by over 30%, making them one of the fastest growing festive food items.

00:41:18 Squirrell
How long ago are we talking about coal mining?

00:41:21 Hurst
Victorian era.

00:41:22 Squirrell
I reckon they were smarter than that back then.

00:41:24 Squirrell
I'm going to go with, but then I also don't think they were especially funny.

00:41:27 Squirrell
We've always, surely we've always eaten pigs in blankets.

00:41:30 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:41:31 Hurst
Didn't they used to say that smoking was good for you?

00:41:33 Hurst
Good for the lungs.

00:41:34 Hurst
It warms them.

00:41:35 Squirrell
Yes, but in some ways it does stave off certain things that might be bad for you if only the smoking wasn't a million times worse.

00:41:43 Squirrell
It's like when you crash a car, the most likely injuries you're going to get are seatbelt injuries, but you know.

00:41:47 Squirrell
Anyway, let's go with the latter one.

00:41:49 Squirrell
I don't think the miners were putting fat in their lungs.

00:41:53 Hurst
They were not putting fat in their lungs.

00:41:55 Hurst
It was in fact the increases by over 30% and pigs in blankets are becoming Christmas.

00:42:01 Squirrell
I wonder if that's because

00:42:04 Squirrell
you're more likely to buy them pre-made now.

00:42:07 Hurst
Quite likely, I suppose.

00:42:08 Hurst
But then that's been going on for quite a long time.

00:42:09 Hurst
That's quite a long time.

00:42:12 Hurst
But then I suppose 2018 is now eight years ago.

00:42:15 Squirrell
Stop it.

00:42:16 Squirrell
Stop it.

00:42:17 Squirrell
No one cares.

00:42:18 Squirrell
I'm going to say something, Hurst, which is going to rile up some of the rankers.

00:42:22 Squirrell
And I'm aware that these are blankets are incredibly popular.

00:42:24 Squirrell
However, they are not as good as sausages and bacon separately.

00:42:28 Squirrell
False.

00:42:29 Squirrell
No, true.

00:42:30 Squirrell
It's just true.

00:42:31 Hurst
Apart from...

00:42:32 Hurst
It's false.

00:42:33 Hurst
It's true.

00:42:34 Hurst
It's true.

00:42:34 Squirrell
What you're doing is you're cutting down on the surface area that's going to get the Maillard reaction, which is what makes these things taste nice.

00:42:40 Squirrell
And you've done that for no reason.

00:42:42 Squirrell
If they were nice, we would eat them all the ******* time.

00:42:45 Squirrell
But we do not eat them at Christmas.

00:42:47 Hurst
We do eat them all the ******* time every time we have a roast.

00:42:51 Hurst
To be honest, I see your surface area argument and I will raise you, these are different consistencies.

00:42:57 Hurst
You're eating them separately.

00:42:57 Hurst
Yeah, bacon's great.

00:42:58 Hurst
I love bacon sandwich.

00:42:59 Hurst
I love a sausage sandwich.

00:43:01 Hurst
But you put those two together, you crunch through the salty, crispy bacon and it tastes amazing.

00:43:06 Squirrell
As crispy as you want it to be.

00:43:08 Hurst
And then, that's true.

00:43:10 Hurst
And then you're into the sausage.

00:43:12 Hurst
No, wherever you get bacon, it's never as crispy as you want it to be.

00:43:15 Hurst
And then after you've had the crunchy, salty goodness of the bacon, you're then left chewing the meaty sausaginess of the sausage.

00:43:23 Hurst
I disagree with you.

00:43:25 Hurst
Rankers, let us know.

00:43:26 Squirrell
Let us know, Rankers, if you also lack the ability to put those two things together on your fork, if you so wish.

00:43:31 Squirrell
We're done.

00:43:32 Squirrell
They are the lists.

00:43:33 Squirrell
Rankers, what do you think?

00:43:35 Squirrell
Let us know.

00:43:37 Squirrell
But before we tell you how to let us know, even though you all know anyway, because you're brilliant, we should probably figure out what we're going to do next week, Hurst.

00:43:42 Hurst
Let's do that.

00:43:43 Hurst
Let's go to the wheel of decisions.

00:43:45 Squirrell
New things on the wheel, Hurst.

00:43:46 Squirrell
We've got a couple of new things.

00:43:47 Hurst
Oh, exciting.

00:43:48 Hurst
Tell me about those.

00:43:49 Squirrell
Top Five movie monsters.

00:43:51 Squirrell
That is from Ohio.

00:43:52 Squirrell
Thanks, Ohio.

00:43:53 Hurst
Nice.

00:43:54 Hurst
Good one, Ohio.

00:43:55 Hurst
Something I can get behind?

00:43:56 Squirrell
That one maybe took a long time to get here all the way from America.

00:43:59 Hurst
I'd like something to come up that's like right in my wheelhouse.

00:44:03 Squirrell
All right, so movie monsters you're down with that, right?

00:44:05 Squirrell
Okay, cool.

00:44:05 Squirrell
And also new from Dave Powers replacing last week's adult cartoons is it's another one.

00:44:10 Squirrell
I'm not sure how you're going to feel about this, Hearst.

00:44:12 Squirrell
Top Five smells.

00:44:16 Hurst
I mean, I know about smells, so yeah, I can do that.

00:44:19 Squirrell
It's not like we're going to do research for that one, is it?

00:44:21 Squirrell
We're just going to ******* decide.

00:44:23 Squirrell
So there we go.

00:44:24 Squirrell
Two new things on the wheel of decision.

00:44:27 Squirrell
All right, you ready, Hearst?

00:44:28 Squirrell
I'll give it a spin.

00:44:30 Hurst
It's going to...

00:44:35 Squirrell
Top Five adverts.

00:44:37 Hurst
Outstanding adverts.

00:44:39 Hurst
I am pleased about.

00:44:41 Squirrell
Yes.

00:44:42 Squirrell
Modern adverts are hateful, of course.

00:44:43 Hurst
Yes, many of them.

00:44:45 Hurst
Every now and then you get a beaut.

00:44:46 Squirrell
But there have been some bangers.

00:44:48 Hurst
Top Five adverts.

00:44:49 Hurst
Excellent.

00:44:50 Hurst
Who's done that for us?

00:44:51 Squirrell
It's an OG.

00:44:52 Squirrell
It's one of us did it.

00:44:53 Hurst
Really?

00:44:53 Hurst
Oh, maybe it was me.

00:44:54 Hurst
Maybe that's why I like it so much.

00:44:57 Squirrell
Maybe so.

00:44:58 Hurst
Because I find myself hilarious.

00:45:01 Squirrell
Top Five nepotism.

00:45:03 Squirrell
There's no Patreons.

00:45:05 Squirrell
Cool.

00:45:05 Squirrell
So next time out, we're going to be discussing the top five adverts.

00:45:08 Squirrell
That is TV advertisers.

00:45:10 Squirrell
No, I guess you could have like stuff from a billboard.

00:45:14 Hurst
I mean, it wouldn't be radio because radio adverts are all awful.

00:45:19 Squirrell
Yeah, I can't think of a good one off the top of my head for sure.

00:45:22 Squirrell
Cool.

00:45:23 Squirrell
Well, that's coming to you in a couple of weeks time, Rankers.

00:45:27 Squirrell
Get excited.

00:45:28 Squirrell
I know you are.

00:45:30 Squirrell
First, you sell shizz on the internet with your drawings and stuff.

00:45:35 Squirrell
How can people get on that train?

00:45:38 Hurst
Hit down the dub dub dub.

00:45:40 Hurst
doghouseart.co.uk.

00:45:42 Hurst
Or if you're interested in having your pet painted, go to pet-portraits.uk because I'm doing that now to try and make a living.

00:45:48 Hurst
As it happens, I rearranged my studio this week.

00:45:51 Hurst
I got into a bit of an ADHD run, completely rearranged it.

00:45:54 Hurst
Now I have a wall that is a display wall.

00:45:56 Hurst
So at some point I might even do an open day.

00:45:59 Hurst
So I'll let people know about that when the time comes.

00:46:01 Squirrell
Very exciting.

00:46:02 Squirrell
Rankers, if you want to vote to say which one of this was correct,

00:46:06 Squirrell
And you should go to www.topfivefaceoff.co.uk or just search for Top Five faceoff and there we will be.

00:46:14 Squirrell
You can find us on BlueSky, you can find us on YouTube, you can find us on Spotify, you can find us on Podcaster.

00:46:20 Squirrell
You can find us everywhere there are podcasts, rankers.

00:46:23 Squirrell
Just hook in and listen up.

00:46:24 Squirrell
But you already are.

00:46:25 Squirrell
You know what would be really helpful, rankers?

00:46:27 Squirrell
I've decided we're not going to ask you to be Patreons this time around.

00:46:30 Squirrell
Instead, we're going to ask you to tell one of your buddies, say, hey, I know these ******* **** podcasts and look, you know how you're

00:46:36 Squirrell
at the pub and someone orders a drink and it's disgusting and everybody tries it.

00:46:39 Squirrell
How about you make all your friends listen to the **** podcast?

00:46:42 Squirrell
What a great idea.

00:46:43 Squirrell
www.topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

00:46:45 Squirrell
Spread it around, Rankers.

00:46:47 Squirrell
Yes, that's what we would like to do.

00:46:48 Hurst
Spread it like the disease it is.

00:46:52 Squirrell
We wanna go literally viral.

00:46:54 Squirrell
Gross.

00:46:56 Squirrell
One thing I haven't mentioned for a long time, Rankers, is that you can e-mail us, [email protected] if you wanna send us

00:47:03 Squirrell
something long or maybe a picture with an attachment.

00:47:07 Squirrell
I was about to say we're going to end, but we're not going to quite end yet because we haven't mentioned the official supporter hub.

00:47:11 Squirrell
Who is Hurst?

00:47:13 Hurst
Kovach, Davpass, Gas Chat and Goddess Jasmine.

00:47:16 Hurst
We love you guys.

00:47:19 Squirrell
We do love you.

00:47:20 Squirrell
If you want your name read out on every episode, you too can join the official supporter hub for the low, low price of five pounds.

00:47:25 Squirrell
But that'll do for this episode, I reckon, Hurst.

00:47:28 Squirrell
I am hungry and I am going to get me something to eat.

00:47:32 Squirrell
Go on.

00:47:33 Hurst
Have at it.

00:47:33 Squirrell
Please rewind this podcast for the next person that comes along and we will see you in two weeks time with the top five adverts.

00:47:41 Squirrell
See you later rankers.

00:47:43 Hurst
Love you.

00:47:48 Harriet
Top Five Face Off is presented by Matt Hurst and Matt Squirrel and produced by Power Storm Awesome Fire Incorporated.

00:47:55 Harriet
For more details and to vote for winner, visit topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

00:48:01 Harriet
Thanks for listening.

00:48:14 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:48:20 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:48:24 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:48:27 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:48:33 Squirrell
One thing I haven't mentioned for a long time, Rankers, is that you can e-mail us hello at topfivefaceoff.co.uk if you want to send us something long or maybe a picture with an attachment.

00:48:42 Squirrell
Do you get it?

00:48:43 Squirrell
No, don't send.

00:48:44 Squirrell
I'm not asking.

00:48:45 Squirrell
Don't ask them to send nudes, Hurst.

00:48:48 Squirrell
Like, looking immediately.

00:48:50 Squirrell
You can send pictures on the internet.

00:48:52 Squirrell
They must be penises.

00:48:53 Squirrell
Like, that's not where my brain went.

00:48:57 Squirrell
Just maybe cool pictures of you listening to our poker.

00:48:59 Squirrell
I don't ******* know why you sent us a picture.

00:49:01 Squirrell
Shut up, Baz.

00:49:02 Squirrell
You ruined it.

00:49:02 Squirrell
Made me sound like a bird.

00:49:04 Squirrell
We all know you perv over girls rolling up fat spliffs.

00:49:07 Squirrell
Don't drag me down.

00:49:08 Squirrell
Don't.

00:49:11 Hurst
Pretend you're not going on Instagram this afternoon to try and find some live feeds of randos in New York.

00:49:16 Squirrell
This afternoon, it's half eight.

00:49:17 Squirrell
What time do you think it is?

00:49:20 Hurst
Jesus, isn't it just?

00:49:27 Squirrell
But Hurst have just banged his elbow on the desk, ladies and gentlemen.

00:49:31 Squirrell
And that was...

00:49:32 Hurst
Yowzers.

00:49:34 Squirrell
We've done the funny bone thing.

00:49:36 Hurst
Oh yeah.

00:49:38 Squirrell
You do a bit to find it humorous.

00:49:41 Hurst
Just so I don't cry.

00:49:44 Squirrell
Cry.

00:49:45 Squirrell
Cry on cam and say, leave Brittany alone or I'm just so sad about John Virgo or something so we can go viral.

00:49:54 Hurst
Charlie bit my thumb.

00:49:59 Hurst
Have we heard from Vision recently?

00:50:01 Hurst
Because it was all about, it was the season of Hurst and he was all voting in the season of Hurst.

00:50:06 Hurst
And then he seems to have gone really quiet recently.

00:50:08 Hurst
Is he all right?

00:50:10 Squirrell
As far as I can see.

00:50:13 Hurst
Should check in.

00:50:14 Hurst
I mean, he was a briefly an official supporter.

00:50:18 Hurst
I mean, he won it.

00:50:19 Hurst
was temporary visa, but he was an official supporter.

00:50:22 Squirrell
The fish get in truck.

00:50:22 Squirrell
Hurst is worried.

00:50:24 Squirrell
What did I say then even?

00:50:25 Hurst
Get in truck.

00:50:27 Hurst
Get in the truck.

00:50:29 Squirrell
Fisher get in touch.

00:50:30 Squirrell
Hurst is worried about you.

00:50:33 Squirrell
And on that.

00:50:36 Hurst
A haughty choreography of griddled beef caught between conflicting miniature briochettes executed through the medium of diminutive scale intersecting universal peel with.

00:50:47 Hurst
Do you want to start that again, Hurst?

00:50:49 Hurst
Yeah.

00:50:52 Squirrell
We'll cut this bit out because I've just sent you on one of those five kilograms.

00:50:56 Squirrell
Just in a bucket.

00:51:01 Squirrell
Okay, if you've got a pork.

00:51:02 Hurst
Pie jelly, A, who's selling these things, and B, who the **** is buying them?

00:51:10 Squirrell
Let's move on to my numero.

00:51:12 Squirrell
Why am I trying to do furrow when I can't remember the number?

00:51:17 Squirrell
Do, oh no, does, does.

00:51:19 Squirrell
No matter the ******* hell.

00:51:23 Hurst
Now you're #2.