S02E13: Adverts

Transcript

00:00:00 Hurst
They must have been so pleased with themselves.

00:00:01 Hurst
They must have been so smug.

00:00:05 Hurst
It's like, guys, guys, guys, guys, I've had the best idea.

00:00:09 Hurst
I've learned the whole team.

00:00:10 Hurst
You can just imagine them whooping and going around giving each other a high-five.

00:00:13 Squirrell
And probably using a computer to shift left-hand Tom Hardy just enough.

00:00:18 Harriet
Top Five face-off contains adult themes and language that some people may find defensive.

00:00:23 Harriet
Listener discretion is advised.

00:00:25 Squirrell
He's Mat Hurst.

00:00:26 Hurst
He's Matt Squirrel.

00:00:27 Squirrell
And this is Top Five Face-off, the official world ranking of everything.

00:00:31 Squirrell
What are we ranking today, Hurst?

00:00:33 Hurst
Well, Squirrel, today we're going to be ranking the top five adverts.

00:00:36 Squirrell
That's coming right up after this.

00:00:39 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than one, then there's a best and a worst.

00:00:43 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than five, call Squirrel and Hurst.

00:00:46 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the Top Five Face-off.

00:00:49 Robo-Katy Perry
Actual facts.

00:00:50 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the Top Five Face-off.

00:00:52 Robo-Katy Perry
Facts are exact.

00:01:02 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, all, good night Rankers.

00:01:05 Hurst
Welcome back.

00:01:06 Hurst
And if you're new to the show, welcome.

00:01:08 Squirrell
Hello.

00:01:08 Hurst
For our new Rankers - Squirrell, why don't you tell them what we do here and why we do it?

00:01:13 Squirrell
New Rankers, welcome to Top Five Face-Off, where we take a random subject which is suggested by one of our Patreons and we choose the top five and the worst thing from that subject.

00:01:23 Squirrell
And then you, the Ranker

00:01:25 Squirrell
at home, you go to our website topfivefaceoff.co.uk and vote.

00:01:28 Squirrell
Tell us which of us was correct.

00:01:30 Squirrell
One of us is always correct.

00:01:31 Squirrell
And the winning list becomes the official world ranking.

00:01:36 Hurst
Excellent.

00:01:36 Hurst
Now before we press on, we need to have a little chat with our rankers because Squirrel's been playing around with some new things on the editing.

00:01:45 Hurst
Just last week, he started the intro music whilst we were still chatting so that the lyrics kicked in just after he said, coming right up after this.

00:01:55 Squirrell
That's right.

00:01:55 Hurst
I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

00:01:58 Hurst
And equally, in recent weeks, you probably noticed I put in a little teaser at the beginning of something from the show.

00:02:04 Squirrell
Correct, a cold open.

00:02:05 Hurst
Yeah, there you go.

00:02:06 Hurst
And I'm not sure how I feel about that as well.

00:02:08 Hurst
So what I think doesn't really matter because it's not me that's listening to the show.

00:02:12 Squirrell
No, I'll go with the combined advice of thousands of hours worth of research.

00:02:17 Hurst
Well, I think we should go with the advice of our rankers, get them to vote on it.

00:02:21 Squirrell
How are they going to vote on it?

00:02:22 Squirrell
You keep coming up with these fantastic ideas for things the rankers can see and do.

00:02:26 Squirrell
I've yet to see you follow for one of them.

00:02:29 Hurst
How do they vote for the lists?

00:02:31 Squirrell
They vote because of the thing that I specifically wrote so they could vote on which of the top fives was correct.

00:02:36 Hurst
Couldn't you just say yes or no on the same thing?

00:02:39 Squirrell
No, there's going to be five of them.

00:02:41 Hurst
Oh, wow.

00:02:44 Hurst
Fair enough.

00:02:45 Hurst
All right, well, let us know in the comments what you think.

00:02:47 Squirrell
So, anyway.

00:02:48 Squirrell
What's the weather been like?

00:02:49 Hurst
So for me, the weather, what was notable to me was we finally had a day without Ray 2 days ago.

00:02:55 Hurst
And then another came along right after it.

00:02:57 Hurst
And suddenly I'm acting like, spring's here.

00:03:00 Hurst
I'm out in the garden playing with the dogs, getting all excited about what gardening I'm going to do.

00:03:05 Hurst
And then today hits.

00:03:06 Hurst
And in fairness, it didn't rain again.

00:03:08 Hurst
But **** me down, was it cold?

00:03:10 Hurst
It was barely above 0.

00:03:13 Hurst
And last night, apparently, around our way, it was minus 3.

00:03:16 Squirrell
So I've not been outside today.

00:03:18 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:03:19 Hurst
A little bit worried about my lemon plant because it's had to relocate.

00:03:22 Squirrell
Oh no, not Lemony Snicket.

00:03:24 Squirrell
It's been a while since we heard about Lemony Snicket.

00:03:27 Squirrell
Presumably he's pretty much hibernating right now.

00:03:30 Hurst
I bring lemony in for the winter because it's lemon tree and they're not really native to our conditions.

00:03:37 Hurst
So do it a favor.

00:03:38 Hurst
However, a couple of weeks ago, got a massive infestation of fruit flies and it was sitting in our laundry room and Carly quite reasonably said, get that ******* tree out of my laundry room because there are flies everywhere and I don't want it in my laundry.

00:03:52 Hurst
And I took him back outside and said, right bro, just don't die.

00:03:57 Hurst
So I've put him up against a wall so he can be a bit protective.

00:04:00 Hurst
from the wind.

00:04:00 Hurst
We've not had any frost since, but I'm a little bit worried for anemone, but I'm hoping that the nice weather's going to really kick in soon and then it's going to blossom into an even bigger tree slash bush.

00:04:11 Squirrell
All right, well, fingers crossed that works out.

00:04:14 Squirrell
There we go.

00:04:14 Squirrell
What's going on at my end?

00:04:16 Squirrell
Well, it's my dad's birthday today.

00:04:17 Squirrell
Happy birthday, dad.

00:04:19 Squirrell
There we are.

00:04:19 Squirrell
That's that solved.

00:04:20 Squirrell
He doesn't listen.

00:04:21 Squirrell
And I did some website shears.

00:04:23 Squirrell
Speaking of the website, now all of series two, if you go and look at the episodes, you will see they all have transcripts.

00:04:31 Squirrell
Ooh.

00:04:32 Squirrell
So you can read along with the toss we say.

00:04:34 Squirrell
Apparently this is good for SEO, Hurst.

00:04:36 Squirrell
I've also done other SEO stuff and up the performance and up the accessibility for our less able-bodied slash eyed rankers.

00:04:45 Hurst
Wow, you are on top of things.

00:04:49 Squirrell
Website shiz.

00:04:50 Hurst
Well, well done you.

00:04:51 Squirrell
It will look exactly the same to 90% of people.

00:04:53 Hurst
I'm impressed.

00:04:54 Hurst
But what's been going on this end, big TFFO events, obviously you came up for Super Bowl, which we mentioned last time was going to happen, but has of course happened now.

00:05:03 Hurst
Yeah, I guess that was less than two weeks ago.

00:05:05 Hurst
It was indeed, and it was a good night for Seahawks fans, a bad night for Patriots fans, and it was.

00:05:10 Hurst
It was not the most entertaining game, but it was the Super Bowl.

00:05:15 Squirrell
Defense, which no one does.

00:05:17 Hurst
Yeah, except for ex-defensive players.

00:05:20 Squirrell
Ex-defensive players.

00:05:21 Squirrell
That's right.

00:05:21 Hurst
Yeah, they had a good old chat about that.

00:05:23 Hurst
And then in follow-up, the weekend after the weekend just passed, Matt and Laura off of Matt and Laura Friends of the Show came up to visit as well.

00:05:30 Hurst
And Laura confused herself into getting another Patreon membership.

00:05:33 Hurst
So they are no longer sharing.

00:05:35 Hurst
Not sure if they're going to vote separately now, but we are getting 2 pounds a month from Matt and Laura off of Matt and Laura Friends of the Show.

00:05:40 Squirrell
Yes, excellent.

00:05:41 Squirrell
It's we're actually we're getting.

00:05:43 Squirrell
I don't know how they want to split it up.

00:05:44 Squirrell
The first Patreon.

00:05:45 Squirrell
one belongs to Laura.

00:05:46 Squirrell
The second one belongs to Matt and Laura.

00:05:48 Squirrell
So I don't know if Laura's got one and a half and Matt has a half or how you want to work that out.

00:05:53 Squirrell
But come on Matt, where's your second patriot?

00:05:56 Hurst
It's a male-female relationship so she gets one and a half votes anyway, so that adds up.

00:06:00 Squirrell
Oh man, so that means she's got one and three quarters.

00:06:02 Squirrell
This is complex, she is.

00:06:04 Squirrell
Never mind.

00:06:04 Squirrell
They could put something else on the wheel though, that is entirely fine.

00:06:08 Hurst
Yeah, bonus things on the wheel.

00:06:12 Hurst
It was, in fact, then that had the finger foods.

00:06:14 Squirrell
They did have the finger foods.

00:06:16 Squirrell
That's right.

00:06:17 Squirrell
And this week is adverts.

00:06:18 Squirrell
This was chosen by one of us.

00:06:20 Squirrell
We're not entirely sure which one of us it was, but this has been on the wheel for a long time.

00:06:24 Squirrell
We think it might have been hers because he was so excited when it came in.

00:06:27 Hurst
Yeah, absolutely.

00:06:28 Hurst
So that's good.

00:06:29 Hurst
Anything been gripping this ****?

00:06:31 Squirrell
Yes.

00:06:32 Squirrell
So I went to Cheltenham on Friday, drove to Cheltenham.

00:06:36 Squirrell
Cheltenham's roughly two hours away from where I live.

00:06:40 Squirrell
I drive to Cheltenham.

00:06:41 Squirrell
I do the Cheltenham things.

00:06:42 Squirrell
Our car runs on electrons.

00:06:44 Squirrell
So while we're at this hotel in Cheltenham, where we were for a few hours, they have chargers in the car parks.

00:06:49 Squirrell
We banged the charger into it.

00:06:51 Squirrell
We came out, we left, we got home, blah, blah, blah.

00:06:53 Squirrell
Everything is happy.

00:06:55 Squirrell
I stick the dog in the boot the day after and immediately realise that the charging cable is no longer in the car.

00:07:01 Squirrell
It is still plugged into the charger in the car park in Cheltenham.

00:07:05 Squirrell
So after a quick chat with the boy, thanks boy, I will be going back to Cheltenham on Saturday to get the power cable.

00:07:14 Squirrell
They were about 300 quid, so.

00:07:16 Hurst
Jesus.

00:07:17 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:07:17 Hurst
You're lucky it was still there then.

00:07:20 Hurst
It's been gripping my ****.

00:07:21 Squirrell
You hit me.

00:07:22 Hurst
******* trying to cancel subscriptions.

00:07:26 Hurst
They make it so difficult.

00:07:28 Hurst
And then if you can find it with relative ease, the amount of times they try and persuade you not to cancel us out.

00:07:34 Hurst
What about if we gave it to you a bit cheaper?

00:07:37 Hurst
Would you say?

00:07:38 Hurst
Well, first of all, you should have done that before if you could.

00:07:41 Hurst
And secondly, no.

00:07:42 Hurst
And said, what about if we gave you a couple of months off?

00:07:46 Hurst
No, **** ***.

00:07:47 Hurst
I'm trying to get out of here.

00:07:49 Hurst
Right.

00:07:49 Hurst
They said, okay, do you definitely want to cancel?

00:07:51 Hurst
Then you're like, yeah, I do.

00:07:52 Hurst
It's like, are you not sure that you don't not definitely want to not cancel?

00:07:56 Hurst
And you're like, I don't even, just let me go.

00:08:01 Squirrell
Let me out.

00:08:02 Hurst
And that's not even the worst one.

00:08:03 Hurst
The ones where you have to actually phone them up to cancel.

00:08:06 Hurst
Oh, really?

00:08:06 Squirrell
Oh, mate.

00:08:08 Squirrell
Especially when it's the easiest thing in the world to sign up.

00:08:11 Hurst
Yeah.

00:08:11 Squirrell
You barely need to know your own name to become a Netflix member to get out of it.

00:08:15 Squirrell
Well, I don't know why.

00:08:16 Hurst
It could be any of them.

00:08:18 Hurst
That wasn't the one I was thinking of, but.

00:08:20 Hurst
Wow.

00:08:21 Hurst
So what's been making you feel old?

00:08:23 Squirrell
I went to the cinema, Hurst.

00:08:25 Squirrell
I went to the cinema and I watched the Lord of the Rings, the third one, because it is 25 years since that film came out.

00:08:33 Squirrell
Wob, wob, wob.

00:08:34 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:08:38 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:08:38 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:08:38 Hurst
Fair enough.

00:08:40 Squirrell
The child has recently seen the first Lord of the Rings movie and decided that he liked it.

00:08:45 Squirrell
So I'm like, well, the third one's coming to the cinema.

00:08:47 Squirrell
We should go and watch that.

00:08:48 Squirrell
And it's like, yes.

00:08:49 Squirrell
So we go to the cinema to watch it.

00:08:51 Squirrell
And it's the extended edition, which I'm not fussed about.

00:08:54 Hurst
Six hours long, isn't it?

00:08:55 Squirrell
A mere 4 hours and 45 minutes.

00:08:59 Squirrell
The movie isn't quite that long, but it includes Peter Jackson, the director, talking about the film and what it was like to film it and stuff like that.

00:09:06 Squirrell
Just basically dropped four or five fat spoilers and the child is like, ugh.

00:09:16 Squirrell
In the cinema itself.

00:09:17 Squirrell
So thanks Peter Jackson.

00:09:18 Squirrell
Hearst has been on me rankers for some time.

00:09:21 Squirrell
He wants to do top five spoilers and we have had something put onto the wheel.

00:09:26 Squirrell
What was it?

00:09:27 Squirrell
Top five plot twists, which is basically the same thing.

00:09:30 Squirrell
So he's gonna get his wish.

00:09:31 Squirrell
I don't know how that's gonna work.

00:09:33 Squirrell
I'm probably gonna come out a bit angry.

00:09:36 Squirrell
Yeah, it'll be funny though.

00:09:37 Squirrell
It'll make me laugh a lot.

00:09:38 Squirrell
So that's the main thing.

00:09:39 Hurst
You must be making me feel old.

00:09:41 Squirrell
No.

00:09:41 Hurst
Two things have been making me feel old.

00:09:43 Hurst
First one is a visual that you have right now.

00:09:46 Hurst
So I updated my contact lens prescription last year because I was finding it harder to see.

00:09:52 Hurst
And I've already got to the point, probably 6 to 8 months later, where if I'm wearing my contacts, I still need to put reading glasses on to have proper vision for seeing, you know, things like lists of adverts that I've ranked.

00:10:05 Hurst
So I've plonked those

00:10:06 Hurst
on and I've actually got Carly's on because I'm sitting in her office at the moment and I was squinting at my list.

00:10:12 Hurst
I was like, let me just grab those glasses.

00:10:13 Hurst
Like, oh, that's way better.

00:10:14 Hurst
And so how did you describe me?

00:10:17 Squirrell
You look like Dame Edna.

00:10:18 Hurst
Yeah, it's a powerful look.

00:10:20 Hurst
We've both got black and orange headphones, which is quite cool, but and black and orange glasses, but mine are in the other room because I'm wearing Carly's reading glasses.

00:10:29 Hurst
Maybe I'll take a photo.

00:10:30 Hurst
I can.

00:10:32 Squirrell
We're recording a video right now.

00:10:34 Hurst
Good stuff.

00:10:34 Hurst
But also, obviously, having done adverts, I'm sitting there reminiscing about adverts, then realizing some of them are nearly 40 years old.

00:10:42 Hurst
Easily.

00:10:42 Hurst
Of course.

00:10:43 Hurst
Yeah, I'm going to watch a more recent one just to realize that's also 27 years old.

00:10:49 Hurst
No way.

00:10:50 Hurst
That can't be right.

00:10:51 Squirrell
Yes, a lot of the adverts that are buried in my brain, probably because they were during my formative year.

00:10:58 Squirrell
Formative?

00:10:59 Squirrell
Formulative?

00:11:00 Squirrell
Don't know.

00:11:01 Squirrell
those formative years.

00:11:03 Squirrell
Yeah, I remember things clearly from back then, but we'll come on to the adverts a bit more later.

00:11:10 Squirrell
Have we got anything else to talk about?

00:11:11 Squirrell
No.

00:11:11 Hurst
No, we'd better just get on with who won last week.

00:11:15 Squirrell
All right, Hurst, who do you think the first comment is from?

00:11:18 Hurst
If I were a betting man, I'd

00:11:20 Hurst
I would probably bet on Meg 98 at less than a minute past six.

00:11:25 Squirrell
You bet your ******* house on Meg 98 and you would be homeless, Hirst.

00:11:30 Squirrell
You would be homeless.

00:11:31 Squirrell
There is no vote for Meg 98 that I can see.

00:11:34 Hurst
What in the world wide of **** is going on?

00:11:37 Hurst
What is this Twilight Zone?

00:11:38 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:11:39 Squirrell
Meg, why have you abandoned us?

00:11:42 Squirrell
But here we go.

00:11:43 Squirrell
Starting off with a vote for me.

00:11:45 Squirrell
He started off fancy and won me back with a pork pie.

00:11:49 Squirrell
I've been known to carry an emergency pie.

00:11:51 Squirrell
Cheers Cobs.

00:11:51 Squirrell
Cheers Cobs.

00:11:52 Squirrell
A vote for Hurst.

00:11:56 Squirrell
No issues with the interpretation of finger foods, both lists were spot on.

00:12:00 Squirrell
Much to my surprise, Shay1T managed to elevate his palette to gourmet levels, stealing a vote that was earmarked for squirrel before the episode started.

00:12:09 Squirrell
PS, this episode made us hungry too.

00:12:11 Squirrell
From Matt, off of Matt and Laura.

00:12:14 Hurst
Nice.

00:12:16 Squirrell
Shay 1T.

00:12:17 Squirrell
What?

00:12:18 Hurst
All right, because he's Matt as well, and his is 2 T's, and mine's 1T.

00:12:22 Hurst
So we call him 2 T's and me 1T.

00:12:25 Squirrell
Right, got you.

00:12:26 Squirrell
Rankers, it's spelt W-U-N-T-I-E.

00:12:29 Squirrell
So that was very clever.

00:12:31 Squirrell
All right, good.

00:12:32 Squirrell
A vote for me.

00:12:33 Squirrell
It's Ohio reporting in from, well, Ohio, and you all can relax.

00:12:37 Squirrell
I knew most of the things you were talking about, brackets, and I had Googled for the ones where I didn't, close brackets.

00:12:43 Squirrell
Anyway,

00:12:43 Squirrell
The pork pie grabs my vote here.

00:12:45 Squirrell
There's a shop called Hersh Burgers that sells them in Millersburg.

00:12:49 Squirrell
And let me tell you, they're fantastic.

00:12:50 Squirrell
Keep on ranking.

00:12:52 Squirrell
Well, there's a free ad for Hersh Burgers.

00:12:54 Hurst
There we go.

00:12:55 Hurst
Happy days.

00:12:57 Hurst
Welcome to the show Hersh Burgers.

00:12:58 Squirrell
Well, I don't think they're listening.

00:13:00 Squirrell
It was Ohio telling us that they exist.

00:13:02 Hurst
I know, but I reckon she'd have told them, she'd have tipped them off that she's gotten a shout out on the world's leading authority on lists.

00:13:09 Squirrell
You're a she for Ohio, are you?

00:13:10 Squirrell
I don't think we know.

00:13:12 Hurst
I just assumed.

00:13:14 Squirrell
Okay.

00:13:14 Hurst
Let us know Ohio, ** *** and neither, both.

00:13:17 Squirrell
Or don't if you don't want to, you know, it's entirely up to you.

00:13:20 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:13:20 Squirrell
A vote for you, Hurst.

00:13:21 Squirrell
Pigs and blankets are great.

00:13:22 Squirrell
Cheese and pineapple is boring as ****.

00:13:24 Squirrell
A vote for Hurst from me.

00:13:26 Squirrell
Anonymous.

00:13:27 Squirrell
******* good job that's anonymous.

00:13:28 Squirrell
I'm pretty sure I said in the podcast that if you don't like cheese and pineapple sticks, I don't like you.

00:13:33 Hurst
Yeah.

00:13:35 Hurst
That's also, I was my second.

00:13:37 Squirrell
Yeah, well, anyway, another vote for you.

00:13:40 Squirrell
Excellent finger food guys, very tough to pick this week.

00:13:42 Squirrell
I also had to fight with my caterers at my wedding to get cheese and pineapple on the buffet.

00:13:46 Squirrell
Of course you did.

00:13:48 Squirrell
However, years later I discovered the magic addition of the humble pickled onion.

00:13:52 Squirrell
And when you factor in that pork pies on there and pigs without blankets are distinctly mid.

00:13:57 Squirrell
Hurst wins this just about.

00:13:59 Squirrell
I like how he said everything you did was right, but then you only just ******* won.

00:14:02 Squirrell
Side note, I was introduced to bacon-wrapped dates once.

00:14:05 Squirrell
******* amazing.

00:14:06 Squirrell
Also, chorizo, blue cheese, and fig on a stick.

00:14:09 Squirrell
Look, I'm hungry from Money Slinger.

00:14:12 Squirrell
Come on, Money Slinger.

00:14:13 Squirrell
Vote for me, squirrel wins this week is the only thing I really enjoy out of all 10 things mentioned are the pork pies.

00:14:18 Squirrell
But I do have a disabled tongue that doesn't work properly.

00:14:21 Squirrell
Brackets.

00:14:21 Squirrell
I am stupidly fussy and barely eat anything savoury that has been put together by someone else.

00:14:26 Squirrell
Close brackets.

00:14:27 Squirrell
I also agree that sausages and bacon are best enjoyed apart and not together.

00:14:31 Squirrell
Anonymous.

00:14:32 Squirrell
Thanks, Anonymous.

00:14:32 Squirrell
Me too.

00:14:33 Hurst
Disagree.

00:14:34 Squirrell
There we are.

00:14:34 Squirrell
That's fine.

00:14:35 Squirrell
But you don't know who to disagree with.

00:14:36 Squirrell
Remember rankers.

00:14:37 Squirrell
And maybe I'm going to put something that just flashes as they're typing.

00:14:40 Squirrell
Don't forget to type your name.

00:14:42 Squirrell
Don't forget to type your name.

00:14:44 Hurst
Maybe they're scared to put their name.

00:14:45 Hurst
They don't want to hear us fight back.

00:14:47 Squirrell
Here we go.

00:14:48 Squirrell
This one's got a name on.

00:14:49 Squirrell
Vote for me.

00:14:49 Squirrell
I've had the roast beef thingies too at a wedding.

00:14:52 Squirrell
Maybe we were at the same wedding.

00:14:53 Squirrell
Maybe it was my wedding.

00:14:54 Squirrell
Who knows?

00:14:55 Squirrell
Very close this week.

00:14:56 Squirrell
Only tipped over by the slimmest of margins, namely Wangs.

00:15:00 Squirrell
Too much faff and leftover bones.

00:15:01 Squirrell
I want something I can stuff in me gob in one go.

00:15:04 Squirrell
Cheese and pineapple hedgehog all the way.

00:15:07 Squirrell
Hurst would have taken the win with his onion addition had you not come in to clutch with the original cheese and pineapple to sneak it over the line.

00:15:14 Squirrell
Bad luck, Hurst.

00:15:16 Squirrell
At least it's do better, Trooper.

00:15:19 Squirrell
Bad luck, do better.

00:15:21 Hurst
Next time to see Trooper, we're going to have to throw down.

00:15:24 Squirrell
Oh **** son.

00:15:26 Squirrell
Oh, he's got his archery bow and arrow there, man.

00:15:27 Squirrell
He'll shoot you at distance.

00:15:29 Squirrell
You're melee combat.

00:15:30 Squirrell
You're ******.

00:15:31 Squirrell
Yeah, I hope you're right.

00:15:31 Squirrell
I'll sneak up on him.

00:15:32 Squirrell
Oh **** ninja time.

00:15:34 Hurst
That's right.

00:15:34 Squirrell
Go full ninja.

00:15:35 Squirrell
The Vision returns with a vote for Hurst because, well, it's the season of Hurst, of course.

00:15:39 Squirrell
Wee! Hey, Vish.

00:15:41 Squirrell
Both lists were great, but Hurst ended it for me with constantly telling us how much he likes wangs.

00:15:46 Hurst
Good wangs.

00:15:47 Squirrell
Another vote for Hurst.

00:15:48 Squirrell
Vote for Hurst by a whisker.

00:15:50 Squirrell
It was only the boring sausage rolls on Squirrel's list that put me off.

00:15:53 Squirrell
I have forgotten to vote the last two episodes, but the winners were the ones I would have picked, so all good.

00:15:59 Squirrell
But now the kids are addicted to Fox's crunch creams.

00:16:01 Squirrell
Keep up the good work, Katie.

00:16:04 Squirrell
That's what it says to me.

00:16:05 Squirrell
Keep up the good work, Katie.

00:16:06 Hurst
I think, which one of us is Katie?

00:16:08 Hurst
I think Katie is Katie, and she's just giving herself a pep talk.

00:16:12 Squirrell
Got ya.

00:16:12 Squirrell
Finally, a vote for me.

00:16:14 Squirrell
Ranka Daupaz checking in.

00:16:16 Squirrell
Ooh, this was a tough one.

00:16:17 Squirrell
I was wavering between both lists for a good few minutes, but my love of sausage rolls tipped me back to squirrel.

00:16:23 Squirrell
On the subject of pork pies, I'm convinced that people who hate the jelly have never had a warm pork pie.

00:16:28 Squirrell
I agree, when cold the jelly is not good, but oven hot it provided some much needed lubrication.

00:16:34 Squirrell
Eat your pies, Rankers! Well, that just sounds gross now.

00:16:37 Squirrell
I mean, I don't mind it, now it sounds mingy.

00:16:40 Squirrell
I like how the random comment orderer...

00:16:43 Squirrell
I liked having people disagree with each other immediately afterwards.

00:16:46 Squirrell
It's lots of fun.

00:16:48 Hurst
Happy days.

00:16:48 Hurst
Who was that one?

00:16:49 Squirrell
No, that was from Daf Pass.

00:16:50 Hurst
Oh yes, Daf Pass, you did say.

00:16:52 Squirrell
Hurst, you ready for the results?

00:16:53 Hurst
Yes, I'm ready.

00:16:54 Squirrell
Hurst, I got 20.

00:16:56 Squirrell
Oh, that's big.

00:16:57 Squirrell
Hurst, you got 20.

00:16:58 Squirrell
Holy ****.

00:16:59 Squirrell
Tis a draw.

00:17:00 Squirrell
Let us move to the AI machine.

00:17:03 Squirrell
I've already prepped it with the lists.

00:17:06 Squirrell
In the event of a draw, we turn to ChatGPT, we feed it both lists, we feed it the subject, and we say which of these is best?

00:17:13 Squirrell
List one or list two?

00:17:15 Squirrell
List one in this case was my list.

00:17:17 Squirrell
List two was Hearst's list.

00:17:19 Squirrell
ChatGPT says, List one fits top five figure foods way better.

00:17:24 Squirrell
Sorry, Hearst.

00:17:24 Squirrell
It's basically a greatest hits album of British buffet tables, sausage rolls, pork pies, gritty Yorkshire's very posh pub canapes, plus the gloriously retro cheese and pineapple on sticks.

00:17:36 Squirrell
List two has too many generic party food items that don't feel specifically great.

00:17:42 Squirrell
Sliders, chicky wings, jalapeno poppers.

00:17:45 Squirrell
Pigs and blankets is great, but it's doing a lot of heavy lifting.

00:17:49 Hurst
Didn't you have jalapeno poppers as well?

00:17:51 Squirrell
I did, but lower down, I guess.

00:17:53 Hurst
And cheese and pineapple.

00:17:55 Squirrell
Higher up, I guess.

00:17:57 Hurst
Shut up, ChatGPT.

00:17:58 Hurst
What do you know?

00:17:59 Squirrell
Our overlords have spoken, Hurst.

00:18:01 Hurst
There we go.

00:18:02 Hurst
That's a three P, I think.

00:18:04 Hurst
congratulations on the win.

00:18:05 Hurst
So let's have the ultimate official world ranking countdown.

00:18:09 Squirrell
In at #5, mini roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, horseradish and gravy canapes.

00:18:16 Squirrell
And #4, pork pies.

00:18:20 Squirrell
And #3, jalapeno poppers.

00:18:24 Squirrell
At #2, sausage rolls.

00:18:26 Squirrell
And at #1, cheese and pineapple on sticks.

00:18:32 Squirrell
They are the best finger food.

00:18:35 Squirrell
It is official.

00:18:38 Squirrell
All right, Hurst, are you ready?

00:18:42 Hurst
I am ready.

00:18:43 Squirrell
Let's get ranking.

00:18:49 Squirrell
First I hold the coin of destiny.

00:18:52 Squirrell
Of course you do.

00:18:54 Squirrell
How do we know who it chooses?

00:18:56 Hurst
Wow, that's simple.

00:18:58 Hurst
Heads for Hurst.

00:18:59 Hurst
Squirrels have tails.

00:19:00 Squirrell
Here we go.

00:19:03 Squirrell
squirrels have tails.

00:19:05 Hurst
Very good.

00:19:05 Squirrell
All right.

00:19:06 Hurst
That's two in a row, isn't it?

00:19:07 Hurst
The coin has finally accepted you.

00:19:09 Squirrell
I don't.

00:19:10 Squirrell
You're the American sports fan, man.

00:19:12 Squirrell
I don't pay attention to the stats.

00:19:13 Squirrell
I have literally no idea.

00:19:15 Squirrell
I can barely remember what I did yesterday, let alone the last episode.

00:19:19 Hurst
So we're doing adverts this week and I know you've been struggling pretty hard with getting your shortness down.

00:19:25 Squirrell
We will revisit that at the end where I will read out all the ones that I've got.

00:19:29 Hurst
It was an interesting one because there were adverts that were just brilliant that didn't make my list because there were adverts that I loved.

00:19:36 Hurst
or well, again, like you were saying, part of my formative years that are so deeply ingrained in me that they had to be on my list.

00:19:42 Hurst
And then as you're going through, you're starting looking at the catchphrases, the things that have become synonymous with a brand, and you realise just how clever some of the ad agencies are.

00:19:52 Hurst
And as we'll speak about in worst, you realise how ******* annoying and farty wanky some of them are.

00:19:59 Hurst
But there have been some crackers in there.

00:20:00 Hurst
We definitely need to do an honourable mentions bit afterwards, because this has been a good week of reminiscence.

00:20:06 Squirrell
about that more at the end in terms of my honorable mentions, but this one has been hard rankers.

00:20:11 Squirrell
Let's start with something that was at number two at one point.

00:20:14 Squirrell
This is my number five best advert.

00:20:16 Squirrell
It is the Budweiser advert called First Delivery, involving the Budweiser Clydesdales.

00:20:22 Squirrell
It came out in 2025, and it was made by Anheuser Butch, an American slash German ad agency, I guess they call them.

00:20:30 Squirrell
The Budweiser Clydesdales don't really exist in this country, but in America, they bring out a new advert

00:20:37 Squirrell
each Super Bowl.

00:20:38 Squirrell
And much like John Lewis do at Christmas over here, they are a big deal.

00:20:42 Squirrell
They don't directly advertise anything.

00:20:45 Squirrell
They're just like, everybody knows these are the Budweiser Clydesdales and it's going to be huge budgets and like a hit song probably sung by a new person in a modern way, the same way the John Lewis wants to.

00:20:55 Squirrell
And in 2025's Super Bowl, it was a story 60 seconds long about a foal who wants to help the big Clydesdales pull the wagon full of Budweiser, but the driver tells him he's

00:21:06 Squirrell
too small.

00:21:07 Squirrell
But then as all the big horses are pulling the thing down the drive, Keg falls off the back of the wagon, so the bowl jumps out of its field and starts pushing it along with its nose to its destination.

00:21:16 Squirrell
Shenanigans ensue along the way.

00:21:18 Squirrell
There's a good joke in there.

00:21:20 Squirrell
It's cute as hell.

00:21:22 Squirrell
It'll make you feel good.

00:21:23 Squirrell
And 160,000 people who were voting on the Super Bowl adverts decided it was the best one during last year's Super Bowl, and I'm down with that.

00:21:31 Squirrell
All of the Clydesdown adverts are good, but I think this was the best one, and I had a great time watching them all again today.

00:21:36 Squirrell
Number five, first delivery.

00:21:38 Hurst
Very good.

00:21:39 Hurst
Well, my number five is from 2010.

00:21:42 Hurst
It is Old Spice from the The Man Your Man Could Smell Like campaign.

00:21:47 Hurst
So we all know that Old Spice is what your dad used to smell of, but with this advert, it was basically out of nowhere, it made you love it.

00:21:53 Hurst
Perfume and aftershave adverts are typically dreadful.

00:21:56 Hurst
More on that later.

00:21:58 Hurst
This one is everything that the others aren't.

00:21:59 Hurst
It's funny, engaging, it's tongue in cheek, and it brings the brand into the minds of younger people.

00:22:05 Hurst
It's not pretending to

00:22:06 Hurst
be cool.

00:22:07 Hurst
And I think that's what puts it into a totally acceptable space.

00:22:10 Hurst
So many of the aftershave adverts are trying to be really cool or deep or make you think, yeah, I'd be cool if I wear that.

00:22:18 Hurst
And this one is like, nah, ********.

00:22:20 Hurst
It's, it's having a laugh.

00:22:21 Hurst
It upgrades itself by making people happy.

00:22:24 Hurst
So well played Old Spice.

00:22:26 Squirrell
All right, cool.

00:22:27 Squirrell
Number four for me, Hurst, isn't a TV ad.

00:22:31 Squirrell
What?

00:22:34 Squirrell
Take a look at that picture, Hearst.

00:22:35 Squirrell
This is a print ad for the movie Legend, which starred Tom Hardy and Tom Hardy as the Cray Twins.

00:22:45 Squirrell
Yes.

00:22:46 Squirrell
It came along in 2015.

00:22:49 Squirrell
It was made by one of Studio Canal's in-house ad agencies.

00:22:52 Squirrell
And the reason I like it, Hearst, it's just, describe what you see for us.

00:22:57 Hurst
Tom Hardy as the two Cray brothers, standing next to himself, looking in different directions, looking completely different.

00:23:04 Hurst
but at the same time 20.

00:23:06 Hurst
And there's lots of stars.

00:23:07 Squirrell
Lots of stars because it was a good movie.

00:23:09 Squirrell
How many stars did the Sunday Express give it?

00:23:12 Hurst
Five stars.

00:23:13 Squirrell
Five stars.

00:23:14 Squirrell
How many did Sky Movies give it?

00:23:16 Squirrell
Four stars.

00:23:18 Squirrell
Good.

00:23:18 Squirrell
How many did the Guardian give it?

00:23:20 Hurst
Two stars.

00:23:21 Squirrell
The Guardian did not like the film and they only gave it two out of five stars.

00:23:25 Squirrell
They thought it could have done much better.

00:23:27 Hurst
But they hid it.

00:23:28 Squirrell
They hid it.

00:23:29 Squirrell
They put it between their heads.

00:23:30 Squirrell
So it makes you think there's stars behind their heads.

00:23:33 Squirrell
There isn't.

00:23:34 Hurst
That's really clever.

00:23:36 Squirrell
So clever.

00:23:38 Squirrell
And The Guardian, the guy who wrote the thing for The Guardian noticed this, of course, and he put it on Twitter and everybody thought it was amazing.

00:23:45 Squirrell
The guy who wrote the article thought it was brilliant.

00:23:48 Squirrell
He loved it.

00:23:48 Squirrell
The fact that they'd done this in the post.

00:23:50 Squirrell
up the film, obviously.

00:23:51 Squirrell
And yeah, this is just a really clever way of a) using a big name reviewer and making it look more impressive than it is in terms of the score they gave them, but b) also doing something to generate attention afterwards.

00:24:03 Squirrell
And apparently it worked very well.

00:24:04 Squirrell
More people saw Legend than saw Paddington at the Cinebars.

00:24:07 Squirrell
Paddington was enormous.

00:24:08 Squirrell
So I don't remember anything about Legend besides this and the fact that Tom Hardy was in it twice.

00:24:13 Hurst
Yeah, I thought it was okay.

00:24:14 Hurst
I didn't think it was a great film, but that is a very clever piece of advertising.

00:24:18 Squirrell
Good job, Studio Canal's in-house team.

00:24:21 Hurst
Yeah, they must have been so pleased with themselves.

00:24:24 Squirrell
They must have been so smug.

00:24:27 Hurst
It's like, guys, guys, guys, guys, I've had the best idea.

00:24:31 Hurst
I've learned the whole team.

00:24:32 Hurst
You can just imagine them whooping and going around giving each other a high five.

00:24:36 Squirrell
And probably using a computer to shift the left hand Tom Hardy just enough.

00:24:40 Squirrell
So it's perfect.

00:24:42 Hurst
Yeah.

00:24:42 Hurst
Oh, Bravo.

00:24:42 Hurst
No, that's an excellent shout.

00:24:44 Hurst
I didn't know where you were going with that, but you have outdone yourself there.

00:24:47 Hurst
Very good choice.

00:24:49 Hurst
Right.

00:24:49 Hurst
I will send you my next one, even though you probably don't need it.

00:24:54 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:24:55 Squirrell
I could do the entire thing for you right now.

00:24:58 Hurst
And that's the joy of it.

00:24:59 Hurst
What I'm talking about, Rankers, is the 1989 Milky Way advert, the red car and the blue car who had a race.

00:25:07 Hurst
All Red wants to do is stuff his face.

00:25:09 Hurst
Everything he sees from trucks to prickly trees, but Smile Blue, he took the Milky Way.

00:25:14 Hurst
It's a cartoon of these two racing and all the way along the Red's chomping everything he sees and getting fatter and fatter and it culminates and they get to a bridge and says, oh no, the

00:25:24 Hurst
Bridges down.

00:25:25 Hurst
Poor old red can't carry on.

00:25:27 Hurst
But smart old Bluey took the Milky Way and it was an absolute ******* earworm.

00:25:31 Hurst
And if you watch that now, you will be able to sing if you're within 10 years of us.

00:25:36 Hurst
So anywhere between 40 and 50, I would say, you will be able to watch that and sing along with the whole damn thing.

00:25:42 Hurst
Just great advertising for a Milky Way, which is kind of a nothing chocolate bar.

00:25:46 Squirrell
Yeah, the **** chocolate bar.

00:25:47 Squirrell
The message is this doesn't fill you up.

00:25:50 Squirrell
So why bother?

00:25:51 Hurst
For people who may be wanting a nice snack without putting on all the weight, they're like, oh, it's lighter, it's less calories.

00:25:58 Hurst
It's a brilliant advert and it's a really warm and I guess we would have been what, 10 going on 11.

00:26:04 Squirrell
It was in like the turtles.

00:26:05 Squirrell
So it was that.

00:26:06 Hurst
Perfect time where, with turtles, he-man, whatever it was.

00:26:09 Hurst
And so great nostalgia, great tune, brilliant earworm, good piece of advertising.

00:26:13 Squirrell
Yeah, that was on my list for a while.

00:26:15 Squirrell
Now it isn't.

00:26:16 Squirrell
So I can tell you that it was made by Darcy, Masse, Benton and Bowles, the same ad agency that did Holidays are coming.

00:26:22 Squirrell
The truck one for Coco.

00:26:24 Squirrell
So there you go.

00:26:25 Hurst
I like their vehicle related advertising.

00:26:27 Squirrell
Red vehicles.

00:26:27 Squirrell
Yeah, that's right.

00:26:28 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:26:28 Hurst
Except the red vehicle was the loser in this one.

00:26:31 Squirrell
He was because Milky Ways were blue, of course.

00:26:33 Squirrell
So it had to be the blue car.

00:26:34 Squirrell
Yeah, that song was just all over the playground, right?

00:26:37 Squirrell
Everyone knew the words and everyone knew...

00:26:39 Hurst
Just look for a tasty treat that's fluffy and light.

00:26:42 Squirrell
Because...

00:26:43 Squirrell
He knows it drowns while he's a bit tight.

00:26:45 Squirrell
Yep, there we go.

00:26:48 Squirrell
So my #3 is...

00:26:50 Squirrell
That's just watching in the background.

00:26:54 Squirrell
My #3 is the John West Bear advert, which was made by Leo Burnett of London in the year 2000.

00:27:02 Squirrell
It features a David Attenborough sound-alike telling us about a bear, in inverted commas, which is actually a stuntman in a seven-foot bear suit from Gin Henson's Creature Shop, catching a salmon from a river, and then a John West employee, fisherman, I guess, runs in and tries to take it, and he punches the bear a few times, and then the bear does the Ali shuffle and roundhouse kicks the dudes in the stomach, and then the dude

00:27:24 Squirrell
points, look over there at Eagle.

00:27:26 Squirrell
The bear looks and the dude kicks the bear at the ******** and takes the fish.

00:27:29 Squirrell
That's it.

00:27:30 Squirrell
It's a 30 second video.

00:27:32 Squirrell
And like I say, it came out in 2000 and it was one of the first viral videos.

00:27:38 Squirrell
This was pre YouTube.

00:27:39 Squirrell
So this is a video that was e-mail around.

00:27:41 Squirrell
It wasn't the first, that was probably the dancing baby in 1996, but this was enormous and it was still seen an estimated 300 million times.

00:27:50 Squirrell
Back when it wasn't easy to share videos like this, I remember getting it when I worked at Fuji

00:27:54 Squirrell
film and everyone was around my desk watching it and I must have played it about 10 times because we were just ******* ourselves.

00:28:00 Squirrell
It won the Cannes Gold Lion for excellence in advertising.

00:28:03 Squirrell
It won the Grand Prix at the British Television Advertising Award.

00:28:06 Squirrell
These are things that exist.

00:28:08 Squirrell
It's surreal.

00:28:09 Squirrell
It's funny.

00:28:09 Squirrell
It's not trying to be too clever.

00:28:11 Squirrell
It's just great.

00:28:12 Squirrell
And yeah, there you go.

00:28:14 Squirrell
My number four, the John West Bear advert.

00:28:17 Hurst
I'd totally forgotten about that as a really good call.

00:28:19 Hurst
Again, just looking at it out, it just made me laugh because even when you expect stupid.

00:28:24 Squirrell
It's.

00:28:24 Hurst
Funny.

00:28:25 Hurst
But when you're not expecting it, just brilliant.

00:28:28 Hurst
Like Kung Fu Bear, love it.

00:28:30 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:28:30 Hurst
And because of the comedy of it and the roundhouse kick and all of that, it doesn't feel like, oh, he's beaten up a bear, animal cruelty, that's not fair.

00:28:37 Hurst
It's like, nah, it's just an unexpected fight over a fish.

00:28:41 Hurst
No one really gets hurt or damaged.

00:28:43 Hurst
No humans were mauled in it.

00:28:44 Hurst
No bears really lost their nuts in it.

00:28:47 Hurst
It's just funny.

00:28:48 Hurst
It's good.

00:28:49 Hurst
Excellent.

00:28:50 Hurst
So that's your #3?

00:28:52 Squirrell
Yes, indeed.

00:28:52 Hurst
My #3, sending in now.

00:28:55 Squirrell
You all know these.

00:28:57 Hurst
My #3 is 1992's You Know When You've Been Tangoed campaign, and there are a couple of videos.

00:29:04 Hurst
They did several in the series, and the idea is that when you drink a can of tango, some...

00:29:09 Hurst
existential experience happens to you that other people can't see and certainly not in real time.

00:29:14 Hurst
It needs a slower video replay and some commentary.

00:29:17 Squirrell
I forgot they did that.

00:29:18 Hurst
Yeah, they rewind it and go, yep, here you go.

00:29:20 Hurst
And so the first one, the guy just drinks out of the can and then they rewind it and they've got a Geordie chap talking to a guy who sounds like a snooker commentator and they're talking through this guy drinking his can of tango and something weird happens.

00:29:33 Hurst
So on the first one, the little orange man, I'm not even that little, bald orange man runs up to him, taps him

00:29:39 Hurst
but he looks over, he's not there, he looks round, sees him, and the guy just happy slaps his face, both hands on his cheeks, and runs off.

00:29:46 Hurst
But the real genius is the guy's expression.

00:29:48 Hurst
He looks absolutely shell-shocked, not angry, just like, wow, that was a crazy experience.

00:29:54 Hurst
And it's just another classic of the time finding a way to separate Tango from the abundance of other fizzy drinks out there.

00:29:59 Hurst
It's pure silliness, and they cleverly work in that whole replay thing, making it sound like a sporting commentary looking back on something.

00:30:07 Hurst
And it's the idea that Tango is

00:30:09 Hurst
happening to you invisibly to the naked eye.

00:30:12 Hurst
You're not just drinking it, it's happening to you.

00:30:14 Hurst
And of course, kids started slapping each other.

00:30:17 Hurst
Yes.

00:30:17 Hurst
And of course, schools panicked.

00:30:19 Hurst
And of course, it got banned.

00:30:20 Hurst
It got banned pretty quick, didn't it?

00:30:22 Hurst
Culturally untouchable.

00:30:24 Hurst
And actually, having looked through them, like the slap one's brilliant.

00:30:26 Hurst
It's the first one that's the one that messed it all up.

00:30:28 Hurst
But the one I really like is when the weird old lady comes over with a big orange balloon and a pin and you're just waiting for her to pop this pin and she explodes.

00:30:36 Hurst
Like she's the one that pops.

00:30:38 Hurst
And it's just.

00:30:39 Hurst
Brilliant.

00:30:40 Hurst
So unexpected, so silly, so funny.

00:30:42 Hurst
Yeah, #3 for me, tango, you know, and you've been tangoed.

00:30:46 Squirrell
Yeah, good shouts.

00:30:47 Squirrell
Definitely another one that I remember from the school playground.

00:30:50 Squirrell
You wouldn't happy slap people and tell them they had been tangoed.

00:30:53 Squirrell
They were quite right to back.

00:30:55 Hurst
Yeah.

00:30:55 Squirrell
Like we ruined it.

00:30:57 Squirrell
Like we ruined all good things.

00:30:58 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:30:59 Hurst
That's just the, the nature of us as a species.

00:31:03 Squirrell
There we go.

00:31:04 Squirrell
Number two for me, 2010 advert by Wyden and Kennedy entitled The Man Your Man Could Smell Like.

00:31:11 Squirrell
Yes, indeed.

00:31:13 Squirrell
It is the Old Spice ad.

00:31:14 Squirrell
Specifically it was created to market Old Spice's Red Zone After Hours Body Wash.

00:31:19 Squirrell
Yes, that's literally what this video is called, but as Hurst points out, it was trying to reach a younger audience.

00:31:25 Squirrell
because even though at the time, Old Space was the market leader for deodorant and body wash in the USA, Procter and Gamble were looking at selling it because they knew that people thought it was really old fashioned.

00:31:34 Squirrell
They knew it was going to age out as the people buying it started to die.

00:31:38 Squirrell
So this was kind of an effort for them to capture the youth market.

00:31:41 Squirrell
They absolutely did.

00:31:43 Squirrell
Sales of Old Spice went up 125% after the advert launched.

00:31:49 Squirrell
And considering they were already the market leader, that is enormous.

00:31:52 Squirrell
And it remains to this day, the most popular deodorant in the USA.

00:31:55 Squirrell
So on that front, the advert absolutely did its job.

00:31:58 Squirrell
It starred Isaiah Mustafur, which might sound like a cool name, but it immediately becomes super average when you learn he was an NFL player and with the Oakland Raiders and the Cleveland Browns.

00:32:07 Squirrell
So it's basically just standard NFL name.

00:32:09 Squirrell
He was obviously very

00:32:11 Squirrell
very, very easy on the eye and on the ear.

00:32:14 Squirrell
And when he says, Hello, ladies, people tend to pay attention.

00:32:18 Squirrell
Now, Herr says he didn't think it was trying to be clever.

00:32:20 Squirrell
I thought it was trying to be incredibly clever.

00:32:22 Squirrell
It was like hyper smug.

00:32:24 Hurst
He was- He wasn't trying to be cool.

00:32:26 Hurst
I didn't say he wasn't trying to be clever.

00:32:28 Squirrell
He was hyper cool.

00:32:29 Hurst
Like he was- I'm saying the brand, the brand didn't try to be cool because that's not a cool advert.

00:32:35 Hurst
They picked a cool guy and then tongue in cheek said, This is how your guy could spell.

00:32:40 Hurst
It's not true.

00:32:41 Hurst
trying to be cool.

00:32:42 Hurst
It's definitely trying to be clever, and it ******* is.

00:32:45 Squirrell
Yes, the man couldn't be him, but they could smell like him, which was apparently almost as good.

00:32:49 Squirrell
And he was the man your man could smell like.

00:32:52 Squirrell
And then he had tickets to that feed, then he had diamonds, then he was on a horse.

00:32:55 Hurst
And he did look like he smelled tremendous, didn't he?

00:32:59 Squirrell
I mean, yes.

00:33:00 Squirrell
They quickly made more of the adverts, including Isaiah answering viewers' questions for 24 hours straight and releasing them as really short YouTube clips.

00:33:08 Squirrell
And younger people, like me, at the time, were literally stabbed

00:33:11 Squirrell
F5 waiting for the next one to appear because that is what they needed to do.

00:33:15 Squirrell
It went like hugely viral.

00:33:17 Squirrell
And I know that's kind of almost a cliche nowadays, but back then that was a big deal.

00:33:23 Squirrell
And they really tapped into the market they needed to at the time.

00:33:27 Squirrell
And in June that year, in 2010, it won the Grand Prix for film at the Cannes Lions International Advertising Festival.

00:33:35 Squirrell
In July, it won a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Commercial.

00:33:38 Squirrell
These things exist.

00:33:39 Squirrell
And yeah, like I say, it was

00:33:41 Squirrell
worked.

00:33:41 Squirrell
And that was probably the most important thing.

00:33:43 Squirrell
So yeah, my number two, the excellent, the bad your bag can smell like.

00:33:47 Squirrell
Brilliant.

00:33:49 Squirrell
I'm on a horse.

00:33:50 Squirrell
I'm on a horse.

00:33:51 Hurst
This is from 1999, which was one of the things that made me feel super old because I thought it wasn't that long ago.

00:33:57 Squirrell
The what's up advert.

00:33:59 Hurst
Absolute genius, totally unforgettable and a hundred percent conceived when someone was absolutely off their **** and all the better for it.

00:34:06 Hurst
So for anyone who hasn't seen it, for any of our younger anchors or older

00:34:11 Hurst
because maybe you missed it.

00:34:12 Hurst
I don't think we've got any that old.

00:34:14 Hurst
No.

00:34:15 Hurst
It's basically a guy just sitting in his flat watching telly and his mate friends in milk and says, what are you doing, B?

00:34:20 Hurst
He's like, just watching the game, having a bird.

00:34:23 Hurst
What are you doing?

00:34:24 Hurst
Watching the game, having a bird.

00:34:26 Hurst
True.

00:34:27 Hurst
He thought, that's a cool little cat.

00:34:28 Hurst
Yeah, true.

00:34:29 Hurst
Budweiser, true.

00:34:30 Hurst
And then another guy walks in the background of the first guy and says,

00:34:34 Hurst
What's up?

00:34:35 Hurst
It's like, what's up?

00:34:36 Hurst
And then he just tells you, what's up?

00:34:38 Hurst
And then the whole thing becomes the guy, who's that?

00:34:42 Hurst
It's like, get him on the phone.

00:34:43 Hurst
And then they get him on the phone.

00:34:45 Hurst
And then these four guys just sitting on the phone, and it was just absolute nonsense, but totally hilarious.

00:34:53 Hurst
It had absolutely nothing to do with Bud.

00:34:55 Hurst
It was just when a bunch of guys are in a close-knit friendship group, they have stupid **** and catchphrases and things they say to each other, and it absolutely captured that.

00:35:04 Hurst
And just when you thought it was finished, someone buzzes the buzzer and it's just, it's so stupid and so funny.

00:35:16 Hurst
And it was actually huge.

00:35:18 Hurst
Everyone was doing it, which is what made it get old fast.

00:35:22 Hurst
It was even referenced in Friends, wasn't it?

00:35:24 Hurst
Ross goes, and then Chander's like, it was like three years ago, dude, three years.

00:35:29 Hurst
It came in.

00:35:30 Hurst
It was like a tornado.

00:35:31 Hurst
It came in.

00:35:32 Hurst
It was just.

00:35:33 Hurst
took everything by storm and then it was gone.

00:35:36 Hurst
And they did a couple of spin-off ones, but they weren't as good.

00:35:38 Hurst
That first one was just absolute gold.

00:35:41 Hurst
So for me, it was at number two.

00:35:43 Hurst
Otherwise, what's up?

00:35:44 Squirrell
Yeah, excellent.

00:35:45 Squirrell
Like you said, literally everywhere.

00:35:48 Squirrell
I remember everyone was saying it for like maybe three months and then yeah, gone.

00:35:53 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:35:53 Squirrell
Nothing to do with Bud Wise and nothing to do with anything except for possibly one of the best capturings of a male friend group that's ever happened.

00:36:02 Hurst
Just a relatable little friendship group.

00:36:04 Hurst
Then everyone's like, yeah, I get it and that's funny.

00:36:08 Squirrell
All right, that was funny.

00:36:09 Squirrell
But what about things that weren't funny, Hurst.

00:36:13 Hurst
Yeah, let's see what happens at the worst.

00:36:18 Squirrell
So my worst first is officially called Girl and Movie or something, but you're going to know it as soon as I say the phrase, you wouldn't steal a car.

00:36:29 Squirrell
******* hell.

00:36:30 Squirrell
2004, the Idea Place, which is an in-house studio for Warner Brothers, created a short advert to be played, well actually it was a short warning, to be played at the beginning of a movie in some movie festival.

00:36:43 Squirrell
try and stop people from using piracy to take the films for free.

00:36:47 Squirrell
Oh no, what a disaster.

00:36:50 Squirrell
And it was like, you wouldn't download a car, you wouldn't steal a bag.

00:36:53 Squirrell
And then it showed this girl downloading a film from a pretend website.

00:36:57 Squirrell
Piracy is illegal, stealing is bad.

00:37:00 Squirrell
And it was like, this girl switches it off and goes out.

00:37:02 Squirrell
And I don't know why she just changed her mind whilst this film was downloading.

00:37:06 Squirrell
And it was just utterly ridiculous.

00:37:08 Squirrell
It was a joint effort between the Motion Picture Association of America, which is the

00:37:13 Squirrell
the NPA and seven major film studios and the National Association of Theatre Owners.

00:37:19 Squirrell
And it was at this festival that it debuted at theatres in June 2004 and on home media in July 27.

00:37:26 Squirrell
And it appeared in theatres internationally from 2004 until 2008 and on many commercial DVDs and on the TV in the UK.

00:37:34 Squirrell
So technically I can have it as an advert.

00:37:37 Squirrell
The problem is it was being shown to the wrong people.

00:37:39 Squirrell
It was being shown to the people who had bought cinema tickets.

00:37:42 Squirrell
It was being shown to people

00:37:43 Squirrell
that paid for the DVD.

00:37:44 Squirrell
Often it was unskippable.

00:37:46 Squirrell
It was preceding the main menu and you had to watch the whole thing every time you put the DVD in.

00:37:50 Squirrell
What this did is inform people that they could get films for free from the internet.

00:37:55 Squirrell
And apparently it backfired hugely, heresy rates went up and to top it all off, they didn't pay the royalties on the music they used correctly.

00:38:05 Squirrell
So they technically parroted the music and in the UK, they used a font called X-Brand Rough, which was parroted from a font called FF Confidential.

00:38:13 Squirrell
And they got sued for that as well.

00:38:17 Squirrell
Wow.

00:38:17 Squirrell
Perfect.

00:38:18 Hurst
That is a *********** isn't it?

00:38:20 Squirrell
Oh, absolute *********** of something that shouldn't have existed ever.

00:38:23 Hurst
Something I noticed when you said that and you were describing it, you said you wouldn't download a car.

00:38:28 Hurst
You know what, if I could download a car 100%, I would do that.

00:38:31 Squirrell
Of course we would.

00:38:32 Squirrell
If we could copy a car and have it of no consequence to anyone else, absolutely.

00:38:36 Squirrell
we would do it, right.

00:38:38 Hurst
Only if I could download it, I wouldn't take it physically, but if I could download that **** when it would work.

00:38:43 Squirrell
There you go.

00:38:44 Squirrell
It's often kind of Mandela affected as you wouldn't download a car, but it is actually steal a car, but damn right I'd download a car.

00:38:52 Hurst
******* right.

00:38:52 Hurst
Especially because you could probably download a better one than you might be able to afford.

00:38:57 Squirrell
Yeah, 3D print it.

00:38:58 Squirrell
Well, maybe one day we will be able to do such a thing.

00:39:01 Hurst
And that'd be marvellous.

00:39:02 Squirrell
What about you?

00:39:03 Hurst
Well, something I alluded to earlier, for me, the worst is

00:39:06 Hurst
all of the perfume and aftershave adverts because they all suck *** and they come out and force over Christmas.

00:39:14 Hurst
I mean, I don't need to explain it because everyone's seen it and everyone's probably rolled their eyes.

00:39:17 Squirrell
You can't explain it.

00:39:19 Hurst
Yeah.

00:39:19 Hurst
Well, let me try.

00:39:21 Squirrell
All right.

00:39:23 Hurst
My description of perfume and aftershave adverts is nonsense, oversaturated random images with a celebrity doing **** all to provide any context or cohesion, all to an unrelated soundtrack.

00:39:36 Hurst
Forget the smell of the perfume.

00:39:37 Hurst
The people churning out this chud clearly love the smell of their own farts.

00:39:41 Hurst
Absolutely god awful, hateful bilge.

00:39:44 Hurst
Surely nobody thinks these are good.

00:39:46 Squirrell
For some reason they need to be incredibly arty and I don't know why.

00:39:50 Hurst
Because they think that's what makes them look expensive and premium.

00:39:53 Hurst
It's like, oh my God, I don't understand that advert.

00:39:55 Hurst
They must be so, ahead of me artistically and emotionally.

00:40:01 Squirrell
Mr.

00:40:01 Squirrell
Palau.

00:40:02 Squirrell
Palau, honey guy.

00:40:06 Hurst
Plough toast.

00:40:07 Hurst
Was that my advert?

00:40:09 Hurst
Say no more people every winter are subjected to perfume and not just perfume, obviously it's the male equivalent with the aftershaves and stuff.

00:40:18 Hurst
They're just as bad.

00:40:19 Squirrell
**** *** all of you.

00:40:21 Squirrell
That's right.

00:40:22 Squirrell
Take a leaf out of Old Spice's book and sell **** rather than making **** TV adverts.

00:40:28 Hurst
Do something to make people feel good, not to feel inferior.

00:40:31 Squirrell
Yeah, not that I really, I don't know what to feel.

00:40:35 Squirrell
Confusion mainly when I'm watching those adverts.

00:40:37 Hurst
Just attempt and hatred mostly for me.

00:40:39 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:40:39 Squirrell
Well, let's stop talking about the worst hurst and get on to the best ******* adverts of all time.

00:40:45 Hurst
Let's stop talking about the worst hurst and talk about the first hurst.

00:40:54 Squirrell
In 1997, I was in the cinema.

00:40:58 Squirrell
I thought, probably if I go through the list of the films that were released in '97, I'll be able to remember the exact film I was watching when I saw this advert.

00:41:05 Squirrell
And it turns out I have one of them unlimited cards in '97, so I saw literally everything, so that's no good.

00:41:10 Squirrell
I think I

00:41:10 Squirrell
I was watching Liar Liar with Jim Carrey and that's, yeah, 29 years ago now.

00:41:16 Squirrell
So this advert comes on and it's a pretty packed cinema and they're all people around my age, which would be like 16 to 21 year old.

00:41:24 Squirrell
And this advert was a Lynx advert.

00:41:28 Squirrell
and it had this freaking nerd dude, who was obviously probably some ******* model, let's face it, but he was dressed as a nerd and he was pulling daft nerd faces and he had this absolute smoke show.

00:41:40 Squirrell
He plays Lixon and she was all over him and they went out and they went to the carnival and did fun things and he played Virtua Fighter 3 and beat her up and it was just amazing.

00:41:50 Squirrell
You're like, how is this dude getting this lady and they're in the nightclub and he's doing crap dancing and she's like, so all over him, she's laughing at his jokes and ****.

00:41:58 Squirrell
And then just as they're about to get it on at the end, this voice comes on and goes, David! And you see him kind of bringing back into life, wake up from his daydream in front of a mirror.

00:42:07 Squirrell
And as one, the crowd in the cinema went, Ahhh, because it was all a dream.

00:42:13 Squirrell
And the camera pans around to the woman that said it, and it's Jennifer ******* Aniston.

00:42:18 Squirrell
And she's going, Are you sure you want to go out tonight while she's eyeing his clothes?

00:42:22 Squirrell
And the cinema is legitimately just like, Yeah!

00:42:26 Squirrell
It was like one of the best things and it was one of the greatest things that's happened to me in the cinema.

00:42:31 Squirrell
The crowd interaction was incredible and that has always stuck to me.

00:42:35 Squirrell
It wasn't an especially great advert.

00:42:37 Squirrell
It was very good.

00:42:38 Squirrell
And it did win a couple of awards.

00:42:40 Squirrell
It was by Bartle Bogle Hegarty, BBH of London.

00:42:44 Squirrell
And yeah, like I said, it came out in 97.

00:42:46 Squirrell
Friends only came out in 94 and this would have been filmed, the advert in 96.

00:42:50 Squirrell
So we're talking Pete Canniston.

00:42:52 Squirrell
Like she had the hair, she wasn't scarily

00:42:55 Squirrell
Oh, it was just the reaction from the crowd where we got the Alliston pop was immense.

00:43:01 Squirrell
And then right at the end, she's reading a book called How to Keep Your Man or How to Please Your Man at 3am while she's waiting for him to come home.

00:43:08 Squirrell
Just so good.

00:43:10 Squirrell
So there you are.

00:43:11 Squirrell
Number one, didn't have a name officially, just the links of Beck.

00:43:15 Hurst
Very good.

00:43:16 Hurst
There you go, have you got a fact and an estimated fact for me?

00:43:18 Squirrell
Hell yeah, I do, my friend.

00:43:20 Squirrell
Fact! Lynx is called Axe in the USA because Unilever thought the word Lynx with a Y would be too hard for Americans to remember.

00:43:29 Squirrell
Fact! In 2020, Lynx released Africa and Marmite deodorant and shower gel as part of their Collisions series.

00:43:39 Hurst
No.

00:43:39 Hurst
I mean, they're both such ridiculous facts, but...

00:43:44 Hurst
Yeah.

00:43:46 Squirrell
Perfect.

00:43:47 Squirrell
That's what you're aiming for.

00:43:48 Hurst
I don't think you could bring out Links and Marmite, although that was the time when Marmite was branding itself on love it or hate it as a distinct.

00:43:55 Hurst
Now I'm going to go with Axe in America because I'm pretty sure it is called Axe over there and that must, you know, there must be a reason.

00:44:02 Hurst
I think that's the fact.

00:44:05 Hurst
No, **** ***.

00:44:06 Hurst
You've got to be kidding me.

00:44:09 Hurst
Why?

00:44:10 Squirrell
Links Africa and Marmite was indeed released as part of their collisions range.

00:44:14 Squirrell
I got some.

00:44:15 Squirrell
Oh, someone bought me some maybe for Christmas.

00:44:17 Squirrell
And yeah, it legitimately smelled a bit like Linked Africa, which I think is the best selling one they've ever done.

00:44:22 Hurst
Yeah.

00:44:22 Squirrell
And just Marmite, like clearly Marmite.

00:44:25 Squirrell
And it was like, yeah, who's ever going to use this model once as a joke?

00:44:28 Squirrell
But yes, the reason Linked is called Axe in some countries, including France, where it was invented, is that there were some trademark issues in the UK.

00:44:35 Squirrell
and other places like Australia and New Zealand with the word axe.

00:44:38 Squirrell
So let's put it linked.

00:44:39 Hurst
Oh, very good.

00:44:41 Hurst
Well done.

00:44:41 Hurst
Well done.

00:44:42 Hurst
Those were some wild facts.

00:44:43 Hurst
I do remember that advert.

00:44:44 Hurst
It's a very, very good one.

00:44:46 Hurst
A deserving #1.

00:44:47 Hurst
It's a good list.

00:44:48 Hurst
You've done a good list.

00:44:49 Squirrell
Well, thanks, buddy.

00:44:49 Squirrell
Let's see how you cap yours off.

00:44:51 Hurst
My one, again, it's probably the kind of thing that's going to either win me or lose me the week, depending on the age of the people listening.

00:45:00 Hurst
I think the people listening are going, **** yeah.

00:45:03 Hurst
People are sort of around our age.

00:45:06 Hurst
Anyway, let's just get to it.

00:45:07 Hurst
1989, 1989,

00:45:10 Hurst
The Milk Marketing Board released an advert.

00:45:15 Squirrell
I can say it right now, but I'm not kidding.

00:45:17 Squirrell
Carry on.

00:45:18 Hurst
And it is a catchphrase that, well, let me say, milk.

00:45:25 Hurst
It's what your rush drinks.

00:45:28 Hurst
Do you rush?

00:45:30 Hurst
Yeah, if he says, I don't drink lots of milk, but I grew up, I'll only be good enough to play for...

00:45:39 Hurst
Vincent Stanley.

00:45:40 Hurst
Who are they?

00:45:44 Hurst
Give me some.

00:45:44 Squirrell
Come on, Carol.

00:45:46 Squirrell
Give me some.

00:45:48 Hurst
So, yeah.

00:45:50 Hurst
Anyone who was watching telly in 1989 saw that advert, and for most of us, we still remember it.

00:45:58 Hurst
So Ian Rush was the striker for Liverpool and England, and about the most famous footballer around at the time he was scoring for fun.

00:46:06 Hurst
And so, yeah, these two young lads have come in from playing football

00:46:09 Hurst
first one that says, got any lemonade?

00:46:11 Hurst
And he's like, yeah, if you want.

00:46:13 Hurst
And then he pours himself a glass of milk and that conversation follows.

00:46:17 Hurst
And the idea is that, yeah, drink your lemonade, loser.

00:46:20 Hurst
I want to be as good a footballer as Ian Rush.

00:46:22 Hurst
And it put Accrington Stanley on the map.

00:46:27 Hurst
And even when I was watching Soccer AM decades ago, probably 2006, 2007 or whatever, and Accrington Stanley had sort of come into the football league.

00:46:37 Hurst
Every time they said Accrington Stanley, they

00:46:39 Hurst
They put that little clip in.

00:46:42 Hurst
Who were they?

00:46:43 Hurst
Exactly.

00:46:44 Hurst
So it was obviously, it was in the zeitgeist of people around that age and it's stuck ever since.

00:46:49 Hurst
It's just absolute marketing genius.

00:46:52 Hurst
Almost wasted because it was for the milk marketing board.

00:46:55 Hurst
I don't know what they were trying to achieve if they wanted to try and boost sales or just get people drinking milk because it's healthier than lemonade, but absolute banger, that advert.

00:47:06 Hurst
So if you've not seen it,

00:47:09 Hurst
get onto YouTube and watch it, 'cause it's hilarious.

00:47:12 Squirrell
Poor actress and Stanley Loam, man, they're getting dunked on, and they're like, Oh, none of us were existing, and now everybody only knows us, because if you don't drink milk, you'll only be good enough to play football for us.

00:47:24 Hurst
But frankly, because they're kind of a league side now, I'd be quite happy to play for them.

00:47:29 Hurst
You'd still be making a living playing football.

00:47:31 Squirrell
Well, there you go.

00:47:32 Hurst
It's like, if I don't drink lots of milk, I'll only be good enough to play for Berwick Town.

00:47:38 Hurst
So there we go.

00:47:39 Hurst
Don't know who they are.

00:47:39 Squirrell
The mighty Worksop.

00:47:41 Hurst
Worksop Tigers.

00:47:42 Hurst
So, you know, sick tear now, baby.

00:47:44 Squirrell
And presumably you wouldn't say that in the Liverpudlian accent.

00:47:47 Squirrell
You'd say it in wherever Worksop is, actually.

00:47:50 Hurst
Yeah, I guess so.

00:47:51 Hurst
It's up North Nottinghamshire.

00:47:53 Squirrell
Hey, Hearst, you got a fact, an estimated fact for me about maybe Milk or maybe Acris and Snowing or Liverpool?

00:48:00 Hurst
Whilst one of the most memorable adverts of all time, it actually only ran for six months because in an interview, Ian Rush admitted he doesn't actually drink milk.

00:48:10 Hurst
Fact, the kid off the camera who utters the immortal words, milk, there's a guy called Kevin Spain and he was jailed in 2023 for murder.

00:48:20 Squirrell
I know he was called Kevin Spain.

00:48:22 Squirrell
The other one is called Carl Rice.

00:48:24 Hurst
Who is actually a successful actor from things such as

00:48:30 Hurst
Not Brassic.

00:48:31 Hurst
Maybe it was Brassic, Trolleyed and Cory.

00:48:35 Hurst
I think it was on Cory.

00:48:36 Squirrell
Brookside, I think.

00:48:37 Squirrell
I remember because I was looking at this one.

00:48:39 Squirrell
I did look into the server a bit because it did trouble my five.

00:48:43 Hurst
Is it the one that was your number one and then got booted?

00:48:45 Squirrell
No, that was what's up.

00:48:46 Hurst
Oh, I know.

00:48:47 Squirrell
I feel like I would have read about the murder in my research.

00:48:51 Squirrell
So I'm going to say Ian Rush said that he didn't drink milk.

00:48:55 Hurst
The fact is that actually Kevin Spain did go down for murder in 2023.

00:49:01 Squirrell
Oh no.

00:49:02 Squirrell
Oh no, poor dude.

00:49:04 Squirrell
Well, no, I guess not if he actually did the murdering.

00:49:06 Hurst
Well, poor dude that he did the murdering on.

00:49:09 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:49:10 Squirrell
Oh, *** **** you research.

00:49:12 Squirrell
Why did that?

00:49:12 Squirrell
Yeah, ******* hell, milk and murder.

00:49:15 Squirrell
The tragedy that overpowers Atkinson Sally, says the ******* New York Times.

00:49:19 Squirrell
You what?

00:49:20 Squirrell
What do you know about it?

00:49:21 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:49:23 Squirrell
There you are.

00:49:24 Hurst
Slow news day in New York.

00:49:26 Hurst
So yes, near misses and other worthy mentions.

00:49:30 Squirrell
Yes, I have many.

00:49:32 Squirrell
Do you want to go first?

00:49:33 Squirrell
There's so many.

00:49:34 Hurst
Yeah, so there were ones that were catchphrase or things that associate themselves with stuff like have a break, have a Kit-Kat.

00:49:44 Hurst
Ron Seal does exactly what it says on the tin.

00:49:47 Hurst
Yes.

00:49:47 Hurst
Mr.

00:49:47 Hurst
Kipling makes exceedingly good cakes.

00:49:50 Hurst
Do you love anyone enough to give him your last roller in Valentine's Day?

00:49:54 Hurst
That was a classic, wasn't it?

00:49:56 Hurst
One that I was close with was the Cadbury's one with the gorilla playing drums.

00:50:01 Squirrell
Yes.

00:50:02 Hurst
That was a very good advert.

00:50:03 Hurst
And also another one that was just on the cusp was the Guinness one with the waves and the horses.

00:50:10 Hurst
Yeah, the surfers.

00:50:11 Hurst
Tip closed.

00:50:12 Squirrell
That's very good.

00:50:16 Hurst
Yeah.

00:50:16 Hurst
So some

00:50:17 Hurst
They were really good ones.

00:50:18 Hurst
I also almost banged in at #4 just for ***** and giggles.

00:50:21 Hurst
Fly Fishing by JR Hartley, the Yellow Pages advert.

00:50:24 Hurst
Because it was a banger, but also very much at Hearst 4.

00:50:29 Hurst
Milky Bar Kid, shout out for five decades of selling Milky Bars.

00:50:33 Hurst
Well, they said, no, kids can't sell chocolate anymore.

00:50:35 Hurst
Yeah, so there was quite a few in there as well.

00:50:39 Hurst
What about you?

00:50:39 Squirrell
Yeah, I had a lot of surprised that Guinness one didn't get a mention for you.

00:50:43 Squirrell
The surface was great.

00:50:44 Squirrell
Other Guinness adverts, the anticipation one with the man dancing around and the swim black one where he was racing the drink being poured.

00:50:50 Squirrell
All excellent adverts from Guinness.

00:50:52 Squirrell
No John Lewis adverts mentioned apart from saying that they existed.

00:50:55 Squirrell
The Snowman one was my favourite.

00:50:57 Squirrell
Red Car and the Blue Car Race was originally on my list.

00:50:59 Squirrell
Carlsberg, did an advert called the best pub team in the world?

00:51:02 Squirrell
Do you remember that with the 1966 team, but as old men?

00:51:06 Squirrell
Oh God, that was a good advert.

00:51:08 Squirrell
And the same

00:51:08 Squirrell
Jane Charles Dance did the Rugby World Cup advert, and then here we go.

00:51:13 Hurst
Carling Black Label, didn't that?

00:51:15 Hurst
It was always that he drinks Carling Black Label.

00:51:17 Squirrell
It did.

00:51:18 Squirrell
That wasn't Carlsberg.

00:51:19 Squirrell
That's a different drink.

00:51:20 Hurst
Carling, isn't it?

00:51:20 Hurst
Yeah.

00:51:22 Hurst
Carlsberg, yeah, you're on it.

00:51:23 Hurst
Probably isn't it Carlsberg?

00:51:25 Squirrell
Levi launched so many songs.

00:51:28 Squirrell
He got Spaceman, Mr.

00:51:29 Squirrell
Wazoo.

00:51:30 Squirrell
They did stuff in The Clash, Standby Me, The Joker, Mr.

00:51:33 Squirrell
Bombastic, Our White Secret Lemonade Drinker.

00:51:37 Squirrell
The fruit pasta one where the Duke gets hit by an elephant.

00:51:39 Squirrell
Hilarious.

00:51:40 Squirrell
You've been tango.

00:51:41 Squirrell
There it is.

00:51:41 Squirrell
******* Melanie Sykes.

00:51:42 Squirrell
You're a flick in that love.

00:51:44 Squirrell
Oh my God.

00:51:45 Squirrell
Such a good effort.

00:51:47 Squirrell
Ackerson Stanley and then Umbungo and Kiora.

00:51:49 Squirrell
Yeah, I was just gonna say.

00:51:51 Squirrell
Cacky as hell.

00:51:53 Hurst
Yeah, yeah, of that time, but yeah.

00:51:56 Hurst
If you're a kid, I'll be your dog.

00:51:58 Squirrell
Iron Brew did an excellent rip-off of The Snowman, where they had a little kid singing about Iron Brew and he wouldn't give the Snowman anything in the end, he threw him on the floor.

00:52:05 Squirrell
And then just for a pure song stuck in your head, this juice loose or boot this hoose.

00:52:13 Squirrell
There you are.

00:52:14 Squirrell
Honestly, my list changed so many times.

00:52:17 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:52:18 Hurst
It was a good fun one.

00:52:20 Squirrell
That'll do.

00:52:22 Squirrell
Well then, should we find out what we're doing next week?

00:52:24 Hurst
Yeah, let's do that.

00:52:24 Hurst
Spin the wheel.

00:52:29 Squirrell
Cool.

00:52:30 Squirrell
Anything you're hoping for, particularly Hearst?

00:52:32 Hurst
Acting Dynasties.

00:52:33 Hurst
I've not seen that one before.

00:52:34 Squirrell
Yeah, it's been on there for a little while.

00:52:35 Squirrell
It was suggested by Pete, I think.

00:52:38 Hurst
What's that one mean?

00:52:40 Hurst
As in like families.

00:52:41 Squirrell
Oh my God.

00:52:42 Squirrell
Are there a lot of them?

00:52:44 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:52:45 Hurst
Okay, good.

00:52:47 Squirrell
All right, I'll give it a spin.

00:52:51 Squirrell
No way.

00:52:52 Squirrell
That was so close to acting Dynasties.

00:52:55 Squirrell
Alphabetically, you'll be able to tell because it is the top five ABBA songs.

00:53:01 Hurst
Excellent.

00:53:02 Hurst
That'll be fun.

00:53:03 Squirrell
Are you a fan of the ABBA, Hurst?

00:53:05 Hurst
Not massively, but they've done a lot of classics, haven't they?

00:53:09 Hurst
Better than having to listen to the Girls Aloud or whatever the other one is that we got to do.

00:53:14 Squirrell
I have a strong dislike of ABBA.

00:53:16 Squirrell
Oh, what fun.

00:53:19 Squirrell
This is an OG one.

00:53:20 Squirrell
That was almost certainly you, ***.

00:53:22 Hurst
No, I wouldn't have put that down.

00:53:24 Hurst
I'd never have picked Amber.

00:53:25 Hurst
I don't like him enough to put him on the list.

00:53:27 Hurst
I don't hate him enough to be funny about it, probably.

00:53:30 Hurst
So I'll be boring.

00:53:31 Hurst
You can have all the hatred fun next week.

00:53:33 Squirrell
I will be talking about production values and not allows ******* Amber.

00:53:38 Squirrell
OK, good.

00:53:40 Squirrell
There's actually probably not as many songs as you might think to listen to, right?

00:53:44 Squirrell
It's a bit like the Spice Girls next, but they weren't really around.

00:53:46 Hurst
That's fine.

00:53:47 Hurst
I'll go and listen to it.

00:53:47 Hurst
There might be some ABBA, like deep tracks that I've never heard that.

00:53:51 Hurst
I'm like, oh my God, what is this incredible.

00:53:53 Squirrell
It's just like metal.

00:53:55 Squirrell
That would be amazing.

00:53:56 Squirrell
It's like lordy.

00:53:58 Squirrell
Cool, I will, oh, I'll probably listen to them on the way to Chatham, let's face it.

00:54:02 Squirrell
Great, good call.

00:54:03 Squirrell
Other than that, Hurst, let's wrap things up.

00:54:07 Squirrell
So, rankers, you can find us on Patreon.

00:54:12 Squirrell
You can find us on the internet.

00:54:13 Squirrell
You can find us on Facebook and YouTube and all the fun places.

00:54:18 Squirrell
We're at Top Five Face-Off.

00:54:19 Squirrell
Go there, vote.

00:54:20 Squirrell
Just search for Top Five Face-Off or go to topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

00:54:24 Squirrell
Easy.

00:54:25 Hurst
Indeed, and for our Patreons who didn't realize there is an app for Patreon, which will allow you easy access to our stuff there and might make you sign up for a second Patreon account accidentally.

00:54:37 Hurst
Yeah, if you go onto Patreon, there is more stuff that you don't get on the likes of Spotify and...

00:54:42 Hurst
Correct.

00:54:44 Hurst
monkey or whatever it is that you listen to that's worth having a look at you do however need to be a patreon to listen to those but the good news is that only cost you a pound a month exactly only a pound a month that's bugs.

00:54:58 Squirrell
That is a bug but if you were to pay five pound a month then woo you could get a shout out just like this.

00:55:06 Hurst
Hey, Official Support Hub, we flipping love you guys, Mister Gaz Chap, Mister Dav Paz, Miss Goddess Jasmine, and of course Kovach, Kovach, Gaz Chap, Dav Paz, and Goddess Jasmine.

00:55:21 Hurst
You're the best of all the Patreons.

00:55:24 Squirrell
Thank you very much, guys.

00:55:25 Squirrell
If you want to join them, just stick in an extra four quid a month on top of your normal fee.

00:55:30 Squirrell
It's nothing money.

00:55:32 Squirrell
And hey, you can have your name read out too.

00:55:34 Squirrell
Hurst, you sell paintings on the internet.

00:55:37 Squirrell
How can I get one?

00:55:38 Hurst
You can message me directly, mate.

00:55:40 Squirrell
Yeah, okay, mate.

00:55:40 Squirrell
I can just ask you now.

00:55:41 Hurst
Yeah, do you want one?

00:55:43 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:55:43 Squirrell
Painting them?

00:55:43 Squirrell
Yeah, cool.

00:55:44 Hurst
But if you want to have a look at some of my art, I'm still building the website, but it's www.dogghouseart.co.uk, or if you particularly want a pet portrait,

00:55:54 Hurst
Just go to pet-portraits.uk.

00:55:57 Hurst
I can hook you up.

00:55:59 Squirrell
Brilliant.

00:56:00 Squirrell
Tell a friend about us.

00:56:01 Squirrell
Leave a review on whatever thing you do.

00:56:03 Squirrell
Just press like on whatever you're listening to.

00:56:06 Squirrell
I'm sure that doesn't hurt you and probably does good things for the algorithm, which neither of us understand.

00:56:12 Squirrell
Don't forget, you can send us emails.

00:56:14 Squirrell
[email protected], which somebody did, Hirst.

00:56:18 Squirrell
Do you remember you said about sending rude pictures across the internet?

00:56:24 Squirrell
I was like, don't do that.

00:56:26 Squirrell
Did they send you rude pictures?

00:56:27 Squirrell
I said, don't do that.

00:56:27 Squirrell
Send me a picture of you listening to the podcast or something.

00:56:29 Squirrell
And then we'd laugh because that was such a stupid idea.

00:56:32 Squirrell
Well, someone did.

00:56:33 Hurst
Yes, that vision.

00:56:38 Hurst
He's all right.

00:56:39 Squirrell
He says, here I am enjoying the podcast while looking for a new T-shirt in Primark, loving the show.

00:56:44 Squirrell
Thanks for the concern.

00:56:45 Squirrell
And the season of Hurst continues.

00:56:48 Hurst
Excellent stuff.

00:56:49 Hurst
I want it's good to see everything's all right.

00:56:52 Hurst
I was worried about him.

00:56:53 Squirrell
So there you are, Rankers, now that you know that you can send pictures of you listening to this podcast, hell, send them along and you get your name read out for free.

00:57:01 Hurst
And then Squirrel will do a big collage and post them all on Patriot.

00:57:05 Squirrell
Yep, why not?

00:57:06 Squirrell
Yep, there you go.

00:57:07 Squirrell
Brilliant.

00:57:08 Squirrell
Other than that, I reckon we've done it, haven't we?

00:57:10 Hurst
I think that's it.

00:57:11 Hurst
It's time to bring it home to land.

00:57:13 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:57:14 Squirrell
Please rewind this podcast for the next people that come along to listen, and we will see you next time for the top five ABBA songs.

00:57:23 Hurst
Excellent.

00:57:25 Hurst
See you later, Rankers.

00:57:27 Hurst
Love you.

00:57:32 Harriet
Top Five Face-Off is presented by Mat Hurst and Matt Squirrel and produced by Powerstorm Awesome Fire Incorporated.

00:57:39 Harriet
For more details and to vote for a winner, visit topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

00:57:44 Squirrell
Thanks for listening.

00:58:08 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:58:13 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:58:17 Squirrell
Our overlords have spoken here.

00:58:18 Squirrell
There we go.

00:58:20 Hurst
That's A3P, I think.

00:58:21 Hurst
Congratulations.

00:58:22 Squirrell
Again, you're the stat man.

00:58:23 Squirrell
Let me adjust the votes manually, which I now have to do.

00:58:29 Squirrell
This is going to be.

00:58:32 Squirrell
I'm a stat man.

00:58:39 Squirrell
You rankers, welcome to Top Five Face-Off, where we take a random subject which is suggested by one of our Patreons, and we choose the top five and the worst thing from that subject.

00:58:50 Squirrell
And then you, the ranker at home, you go to our website, topfivefaceoff.co.uk, and vote! Tell us which of us was correct.

00:58:56 Squirrell
One of us is always correct.

00:58:57 Squirrell
And the winner will become...

00:59:00 Squirrell
well, what will the winner become?

00:59:01 Squirrell
The winner will go on to...

00:59:03 Squirrell
no...

00:59:05 Squirrell
And the winner...

00:59:06 Squirrell
no, it comes to the official world rankings.

00:59:10 Squirrell
The winner what?

00:59:11 Hurst
The winner as it comes to official world rankings.

00:59:13 Hurst
Or the winning list becomes the official world ranking.

00:59:16 Squirrell
And the winning list becomes the official world ranking.

00:59:23 Squirrell
Later, have we got anything else to talk about?

00:59:25 Squirrell
No.

00:59:25 Hurst
No, we'd better just get on with who won last week.

00:59:29 Squirrell
We'd better chat about that.

00:59:32 Squirrell
But we won't!

00:59:35 Squirrell
Wow, psych.

00:59:36 Hurst
Secret editing trick.

00:59:38 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:59:38 Hurst
I feel like we've really got one over on them.

00:59:41 Squirrell
I don't know why we're doing this, because obviously not going to hear it.

00:59:45 Hurst
Obviously, they won't.

00:59:46 Hurst
It's going to go in at the end with the pips.

00:59:47 Squirrell
Oh, do you think?

00:59:48 Squirrell
Oh, and then maybe we should explain what's happening a little bit.

00:59:51 Squirrell
So...

00:59:52 Squirrell
Yeah, this is Wednesday and we figured that was too early to have you vote.

00:59:55 Squirrell
So we're going to record the voting bit on Monday when you'll have more time to vote rankers.

01:00:00 Squirrell
So there you are.

01:00:00 Squirrell
That's why we were being silly.

01:00:02 Squirrell
How exciting.

01:00:03 Squirrell
What A thrilling way to end a podcast.

01:00:05 Hurst
Plus also we were even on scores at that point, which isn't even a spoiler because you've just heard the episode with the answers.

01:00:15 Squirrell
Did we just get an outtake for an outtake?

01:00:18 Hurst
Double outtake.

01:00:20 Hurst
The inception of outtakes.

01:00:21 Squirrell
It's like four outtakes.

01:00:25 Squirrell
Wow.

01:00:27 Squirrell
All right, good.

01:00:31 Squirrell
I'm intrigued to hear them, Hers, but first we have to visit the realms of the worst advert.

01:00:37 Hurst
Can I do my number two first?

01:00:39 Squirrell
No.

01:00:40 Squirrell
No, I'm so good to you go first.

01:00:44 Squirrell
Professionals.

01:00:47 Squirrell
Right.

01:00:51 Squirrell
Hess, give me some of your near misses.

01:00:52 Squirrell
What trouble would your list?

01:00:55 Hurst
Or should I hit you with my fact and estimate the fact first?

01:00:57 Squirrell
Oh **** I'm so bad at this.

01:00:59 Hurst
You should always just go first.

01:01:02 Squirrell
You should always go first.

01:01:03 Squirrell
I don't understand.

01:01:04 Squirrell
I don't understand it but I don't.

01:01:08 Squirrell
How do we know who it chooses?

01:01:11 Hurst
Wow, that's simple.

01:01:15 Squirrell
Is it?

01:01:16 Hurst
Heads for first.

01:01:17 Squirrell
Right.

01:01:18 Squirrell
That's simple.

01:01:19 Squirrell
What happened there?

01:01:22 Hurst
I was trying to copy and paste something whilst talking to you and obviously being a guy.

01:01:26 Squirrell
All right.

01:01:28 Squirrell
Well, I could chop the hole out of that and you will sound like a genius.

01:01:31 Squirrell
All right.

01:01:36 Hurst
I thought for a second it was going to give the horse a pint of bud.

01:01:42 Squirrell
No need to be cruel to it.