S02E20: McDonald's food

Transcript

00:00:00 Squirrell
All right, we'll bleep that bit.

00:00:01 Squirrell
You're live on a podcast right now, Mother, by the way.

00:00:03 Squirrell
Say hello to all the fans.

00:00:06 Mummy Squirrell
Hello, fans.

00:00:07 Squirrell
There we go, good work.

00:00:09 Harriet
Top Five face-off contains adult themes and language that some people may find offensive.

00:00:14 Harriet
Listener discretion is advised.

00:00:17 Squirrell
He's Matt Hurst.

00:00:18 Hurst
He's Matt Squirrel.

00:00:18 Squirrell
And this is Top Five Face Off, the official world rankings of everything.

00:00:22 Squirrell
What are we ranking today, Hurst?

00:00:24 Hurst
Today we're going to be ranking the top five McDonald's menu items.

00:00:29 Squirrell
That's coming right up after this.

00:00:31 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than one, then there's a best and a worst.

00:00:34 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than five, call Squirrel and Hurst.

00:00:38 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the Top Five Face Off.

00:00:40 Robo-Katy Perry
Actual facts.

00:00:41 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the Top Five Face Off.

00:00:44 Robo-Katy Perry
Facts are exact.

00:00:46 Robo-Katy Perry
Top five.

00:00:53 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night.

00:00:55 Hurst
Rankers, welcome back.

00:00:57 Hurst
And for any new rankers, welcome to the show.

00:00:59 Hurst
Hello.

00:01:00 Hurst
Squirrel for our new rankers, why don't you tell them what we do here?

00:01:02 Hurst
And importantly, why we do it.

00:01:05 Squirrell
This is Top Five Face Off.

00:01:07 Squirrell
It is a valuable internet resource for arguments in the pub.

00:01:11 Squirrell
We tell you the official best things in a variety of categories, chosen at random from a big old spinning wheel off of suggestions from our Patreons.

00:01:20 Squirrell
This episode, of course, it is Donald's menu items and we're going to pick our top five and our worst and then it's up to you, the ranker at home, to go to our website, topfivefaceoff.co.uk and vote for which one of us is correct because one of us is always correct.

00:01:33 Hurst
I've not brought it up recently but...

00:01:35 Hurst
But it's important to remember that the worst does not count.

00:01:38 Hurst
Do you not take that into consideration when you're voting?

00:01:40 Hurst
It's only the top five that you need to really consider here.

00:01:43 Hurst
The worst is just the fun.

00:01:46 Squirrell
How you doing, Hurst?

00:01:47 Hurst
Yeah, pretty good.

00:01:47 Hurst
Good.

00:01:48 Hurst
Pretty good.

00:01:51 Squirrell
Fair enough.

00:01:53 Hurst
I was thinking, yeah.

00:01:54 Squirrell
#5.

00:01:56 Hurst
How are you doing, Hurst?

00:01:57 Hurst
Through me, because I was waiting for an hour.

00:01:58 Hurst
What's been going on, Hurst?

00:02:00 Squirrell
OK.

00:02:01 Hurst
No, it's fair enough.

00:02:03 Hurst
You used the variety of the English language that I was just not expecting.

00:02:07 Hurst
So yeah, no, I'm good.

00:02:09 Hurst
I'm thoroughly enjoying this beautiful little heat wave we've got.

00:02:12 Hurst
Enjoying it more for the fact that I'm on half term and don't have to be in a classroom with no air conditioning, with lots of teenagers who haven't really all understood the concept of personal hygiene.

00:02:24 Hurst
So that has been a real break in my favour.

00:02:27 Hurst
But Carly is away on a cruise with her friend Jane around the fjords.

00:02:31 Squirrell
I was thinking about this really.

00:02:33 Squirrell
Every ******* episode I have to tell the people at home what it is we do and why we do it.

00:02:39 Squirrell
And you just mentioned Carly like they should know who she is.

00:02:41 Hurst
Yeah, Carly's my wife.

00:02:43 Squirrell
There we go.

00:02:45 Hurst
Yes, so for new rankers, Carly is my wife, contributor to the show and actually one time presenter.

00:02:51 Hurst
If you want to go back through the Christmas movies episode, you will hear her dulcet tones.

00:02:56 Squirrell
Yes, Now I'll pick you up on something you said there, Hirst.

00:02:59 Squirrell
You said little heat wave.

00:03:01 Squirrell
It's breaking records today.

00:03:03 Squirrell
Heathrow and Q Gardens have both recorded their highest temperatures ever.

00:03:06 Hurst
I meant little in terms of it's only been going on a few days.

00:03:08 Hurst
It's not like one of these summer five weekers yet.

00:03:11 Hurst
And I think it will dip down again because although it's hard to remember, we are actually still in spring.

00:03:16 Hurst
Yeah.

00:03:16 Squirrell
It was like 10 degrees C a week ago.

00:03:19 Hurst
Yeah, it's bonkers, isn't it?

00:03:20 Hurst
But I'm enjoying it for the fact that I can water the garden twice a day and the plants are going sun and water.

00:03:26 Hurst
Oh yeah, boy.

00:03:27 Hurst
And just going absolutely bonkers for it.

00:03:29 Hurst
So that's nice.

00:03:30 Hurst
But importantly, about what's been going on,

00:03:33 Hurst
Tell the guys about our trip to the cinema last week.

00:03:36 Squirrell
Yes, indeed.

00:03:37 Squirrell
We went to the cinema last Sunday for Top Gun's 40th anniversary and watched Top Gun and then Top Gun 2 back-to-back at the cinema was ******* excellent.

00:03:48 Hurst
It was so good.

00:03:49 Hurst
It was fantastic.

00:03:50 Hurst
Now, Top Gun has been my favorite movie for just forever.

00:03:54 Hurst
And I maintained it was still not technically the better of the two, but you know, actually the better of the two.

00:04:01 Hurst
And then seeing it in

00:04:03 Hurst
full cinema magic was tremendous.

00:04:06 Hurst
It was.

00:04:07 Hurst
But I now have to concede, although I know the official rankings have already stated this for us, I have to concede that Top Gun Maverick is the better film, not just quality wise in terms of the special effects and they're not making up ludicrous stats about how fast the planes are and all of that stuff.

00:04:24 Hurst
It's just a better story.

00:04:26 Hurst
It's brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

00:04:28 Hurst
I've seen it maybe five or six times and I was on the edge of my seat just going,

00:04:33 Hurst
So good.

00:04:34 Hurst
What a privilege that was.

00:04:36 Hurst
So thank you to squirrel for getting that one organised, to squirrel for buying the tickets.

00:04:43 Squirrell
No problem.

00:04:43 Squirrell
Rankers, if you'd like to hear more about our opinions on Tom Cruise and his movies, go all the way back to...

00:04:48 Squirrell
Do you want to have a guess at what episode it was?

00:04:51 Hurst
Oh, geez.

00:04:51 Hurst
I mean, it must have been relatively early.

00:04:53 Hurst
Episode 5.

00:04:54 Hurst
Free.

00:04:54 Hurst
Episode 3.

00:04:56 Hurst
Heavens, season one, episode 3.

00:04:59 Squirrell
Right back to March the 12th, 2025, that release.

00:05:03 Squirrell
So over a year ago, Rankers, go and listen to how bad our sound quality used to be.

00:05:08 Hurst
Well, I didn't have a good microphone for a long time, so that was challenging.

00:05:12 Squirrell
And it was a long time ago.

00:05:14 Squirrell
Anything else been making you feel old like that did, Hurst?

00:05:17 Hurst
No, well, Top Gun.

00:05:19 Hurst
Generally being 14 years old is quite hard work.

00:05:23 Hurst
And yesterday I'm in a sweepstake with the neighbourhood and we went out.

00:05:26 Hurst
to pick the last few names out of the bowl because there were a few left.

00:05:29 Squirrell
The sweepstake for what?

00:05:30 Hurst
Oh, sorry, for the World Cup.

00:05:32 Squirrell
Oh, right, okay.

00:05:33 Hurst
Yeah, so we went out there.

00:05:34 Hurst
The first four I picked were absolutely dreadful.

00:05:36 Hurst
The highest ranked team I had was Ecuador, ranked 24th in the world.

00:05:41 Hurst
Brilliant.

00:05:42 Hurst
The lowest ranked team I had was Curacao, which I'll confess, I didn't even know as a country.

00:05:46 Squirrell
What is that?

00:05:46 Squirrell
Yeah, okay.

00:05:47 Hurst
Ranked 80 something.

00:05:49 Hurst
It's like, come on, so I went back out.

00:05:51 Hurst
I got one more bite of the cherries.

00:05:52 Hurst
I paid my 2 pounds, pulled another one out of the hat and proceeded to get Switzed.

00:05:56 Hurst
It's my best team, so I'm not getting any of that money back.

00:05:58 Hurst
However.

00:05:59 Hurst
No offence to any.

00:05:59 Squirrell
Of our listeners in Switzerland or Carousel, was it?

00:06:03 Squirrell
Sounds like something you rub on your skin to get rid of spots.

00:06:06 Hurst
Sounds like something that was mentioned in Top Gun or something Tom Cruise-y at some point.

00:06:11 Hurst
Carousel.

00:06:12 Hurst
Anyway, so we're short story long.

00:06:14 Hurst
We were picking these names out of the bowl and we decided the way to do it was an order of who's oldest.

00:06:18 Hurst
And there were five or six of us standing around and I looked about and I was like.

00:06:24 Squirrell
****.

00:06:25 Squirrell
It's me.

00:06:28 Hurst
So yeah, that was making me feel old.

00:06:31 Squirrell
All right.

00:06:33 Squirrell
I went to Garage Nation, which is a UK garage concert.

00:06:38 Squirrell
They were playing songs that I didn't even want to work out how old they ******* were because I was like,

00:06:43 Squirrell
DJ Luck and MC Neat were there and I'm like, yeah, they're looking pretty old.

00:06:50 Hurst
I'm not a big fan of the garage.

00:06:52 Hurst
I don't know the scene very well, so I'm going to take your word for that, those are big time DJs who have aged somewhat.

00:06:59 Squirrell
I did have an idea.

00:07:02 Hurst
I just wanted to float by you.

00:07:05 Hurst
It only hit me just before we got online.

00:07:10 Hurst
The idea of having the listies, like having a Patreon Awards night at some point.

00:07:17 Hurst
So if Patreons think that might be quite entertaining or are interested, let us know and we'll think about it.

00:07:23 Hurst
There's absolutely no commitment from our side.

00:07:26 Squirrell
Speaking of Patreon episodes, yeah, let's move swiftly on.

00:07:30 Hurst
I got really close to thinking about nearly getting on with that again yesterday.

00:07:34 Hurst
So I'm hoping at some point this week I'm going to go the full hog and actually do some more.

00:07:41 Squirrell
Would the listies not basically just be this podcast?

00:07:44 Squirrell
with more subjects that we all turn.

00:07:47 Hurst
Up looking fancy and having drinks, and then we hand out awards to our Patreons for things like actually meet up and do a listies, even if it's just in a pub, like.

00:07:56 Squirrell
Well, obviously it would be in a pub.

00:07:57 Hurst
Like a table at a pub, like the Dundee's off of the office.

00:08:00 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:08:00 Squirrell
All right.

00:08:01 Squirrell
Well, that possibly will take some storyboarding.

00:08:04 Squirrell
We will have a think about that rank as Patreons let us know, I guess.

00:08:08 Hurst
Yeah, absolutely.

00:08:09 Hurst
Let us know what you think.

00:08:10 Hurst
If that's a no, I can't be bothered with that kind of nonsense, then we won't even waste our time with it.

00:08:14 Hurst
But if there's any kind of excitement for it, we'll think about it.

00:08:17 Hurst
There we go.

00:08:18 Hurst
About as non-committal as you can get.

00:08:19 Squirrell
Brilliant work.

00:08:20 Squirrell
Well, speaking of wasting our time on some nonsense, should we find out what happened last time we had a podcast?

00:08:26 Hurst
Yeah, let's find out what happened last week.

00:08:28 Hurst
What's been going on?

00:08:28 Hurst
What's the verdict for the peeps?

00:08:30 Squirrell
Well, yeah, last week we were doing movies that are over 3 hours long, and I've got some comments here for you, Hurst.

00:08:36 Squirrell
Who do you think has the

00:08:37 Squirrell
First comment.

00:08:40 Hurst
Probably.

00:08:41 Hurst
And it could be any one of one people.

00:08:44 Hurst
So Meg 98.

00:08:46 Squirrell
It is not.

00:08:49 Squirrell
This one says, first comment.

00:08:51 Squirrell
Geez, I had to get up early to get in first.

00:08:53 Squirrell
I don't know how they knew they got in first, but maybe they were just mad early.

00:08:58 Squirrell
I like the mix of films on this list, which is yours, House, by the way.

00:09:01 Hurst
Who is it?

00:09:02 Squirrell
Cheers, from Meg 97.

00:09:06 Squirrell
This one has nothing to do with the picnic or artisan bread.

00:09:12 Squirrell
I forgot you were bribing our Patreons.

00:09:14 Hurst
Well, he had already, no, that was the one before.

00:09:17 Hurst
That was because I was saying Titanic wasn't a rom-com.

00:09:22 Hurst
So it was a different feature.

00:09:24 Hurst
But yeah, I did bribe him with some artisan bread.

00:09:27 Squirrell
Here we go.

00:09:27 Squirrell
Next up, a vote for me.

00:09:29 Squirrell
Samwise Gamgee is my spirit animal, says Meg 98.

00:09:32 Squirrell
Thank you, Meg.

00:09:34 Squirrell
Second this week.

00:09:35 Squirrell
Month.

00:09:35 Squirrell
This ******* episode.

00:09:37 Squirrell
Jesus ****.

00:09:37 Squirrell
Next up.

00:09:38 Squirrell
Season of Hearst.

00:09:39 Squirrell
It's not even ******* revision.

00:09:42 Squirrell
Oh no, hang on.

00:09:44 Squirrell
It's now starting to spread to other people.

00:09:46 Squirrell
****** sake.

00:09:46 Squirrell
Season of Hearst.

00:09:48 Squirrell
The Lord of the Rings trilogy, especially the extended editions, are some of the most tedious film experiences I've ever gone through.

00:09:54 Squirrell
**** the Hobbits and their pointless, needless, endless

00:09:57 Squirrell
And **** Gandalf for making them do it.

00:10:00 Squirrell
Also, I missed last week's vote, but Titanic is 100% a chick flick and a great choice.

00:10:04 Squirrell
That's from Moneyslinger, who I don't think is a fan of Lord of the Rings.

00:10:09 Hurst
Yeah, it does seem that might be the case.

00:10:12 Squirrell
Yeah, we were only guessing.

00:10:14 Squirrell
But speaking of guessing, we don't have to guess anymore.

00:10:16 Squirrell
There's a vote for you and it simply says, Ohio here, I'm a guy.

00:10:20 Hurst
There you go.

00:10:21 Squirrell
There we go.

00:10:21 Hurst
Hello, mate.

00:10:22 Squirrell
Welcome, buddy.

00:10:23 Squirrell
So that's that mystery sort.

00:10:24 Hurst
Welcome, blokey guy.

00:10:27 Squirrell
Football, girls, manly things.

00:10:31 Squirrell
Super Bowl.

00:10:31 Squirrell
Super Bowl.

00:10:32 Squirrell
Oh yeah, of course, Ohio is an American, but doesn't like baseball.

00:10:35 Squirrell
We don't have their opinion on other sports.

00:10:37 Hurst
Oh, that's true, we don't.

00:10:39 Squirrell
Southpaz here, shamefully admitting that he's never seen a godfather, but not ashamed of his love of Lord of the Rings, voting for Squirrel this week.

00:10:48 Squirrell
The extended editions are a thing of beauty, see, Moneyslinger, and a great way to use up a weekend.

00:10:54 Squirrell
I even like The Hobbit movies.

00:10:56 Squirrell
Looking forward to the movies over 4 hours episode, **** you.

00:11:01 Squirrell
Not happening.

00:11:03 Squirrell
Another vote for me.

00:11:04 Squirrell
A very difficult choice this week.

00:11:05 Squirrell
Lots of overlap, but I think I have to pick the one with the Avengers on the top of the pile.

00:11:09 Squirrell
If I was comparing the list as a whole, i.e.

00:11:12 Squirrell
without ranks, then hers probably would have clinched it.

00:11:14 Squirrell
But as it is, I think I need to give it to Squirrel.

00:11:17 Squirrell
And that's from Anonymous.

00:11:19 Squirrell
Thank you, Anonymous.

00:11:20 Squirrell
Another vote for me.

00:11:21 Squirrell
It doesn't affect my vote, but I can think of several films over 3 hours that are worse than literal paint drying.

00:11:27 Squirrell
That's from Kern.

00:11:29 Squirrell
Thank you, Kern.

00:11:30 Squirrell
Here's one for you.

00:11:32 Squirrell
The Lord of the Rings movies are great, but I can't vote for Squirrel when a solid 60% of his lists are Lord of the Rings movies.

00:11:38 Squirrell
Variety is the spice of life, man, says Gazchat.

00:11:42 Squirrell
How do we feel about that, Hurst?

00:11:44 Hurst
We'll see in a minute.

00:11:45 Squirrell
All right.

00:11:46 Squirrell
Easy win for Hurst this week, as it had the least amount of Lord of the Rings in it from True Pass.

00:11:51 Squirrell
Some decisive Lord of the Rings action going on.

00:11:55 Hurst
Yeah, it's certainly more divisive than you'd think, considering how many Oscars it won and how obviously good it is, but I get

00:12:02 Hurst
that having three of the basically the same thing would be a bit annoying for people.

00:12:06 Squirrell
I can't believe they're the best ones, man.

00:12:08 Squirrell
But are they the best ones?

00:12:09 Squirrell
Let us find out.

00:12:10 Squirrell
For that is the end of the comments.

00:12:11 Squirrell
I guess the vision forgot to vote this week.

00:12:15 Squirrell
The vision always votes first.

00:12:16 Hurst
I think you're looking at a 3P at the moment.

00:12:19 Hurst
So this season of Hurst hasn't really impacted things that much.

00:12:23 Squirrell
Hurst, you got 28.

00:12:25 Hurst
That was close last week.

00:12:27 Squirrell
I got 25.

00:12:28 Squirrell
You are the winner.

00:12:29 Squirrell
Your comments did not spare out the results as they don't always do.

00:12:34 Hurst
Okay, right.

00:12:34 Hurst
Well, I better pull out my list then.

00:12:37 Squirrell
Yes.

00:12:40 Hurst
In #5, The Green Mile.

00:12:45 Hurst
Number 4, The Return of the King.

00:12:49 Hurst
At #3, Avengers Endgame.

00:12:53 Hurst
Number 2, The Godfather Part 2.

00:12:57 Squirrell
And #1 best and top most amazing three hour movie of all time in all of history is Titanic.

00:13:10 Squirrell
As you can imagine, I'm not upset about that because Titanic's ******* excellent.

00:13:14 Hurst
It is ******* excellent.

00:13:16 Hurst
But the past is the past.

00:13:17 Hurst
Let's look to the future.

00:13:19 Squirrell
McDonald's menu items.

00:13:21 Squirrell
Should we rank some **** Hurst?

00:13:23 Hurst
Let's have at it.

00:13:28 Squirrell
How are we going to know who goes first, Hurst?

00:13:30 Hurst
Well, typically in this situation we would flip the coin of destiny.

00:13:34 Squirrell
Excellent, because I just so happen to be holding one, as you can see.

00:13:36 Squirrell
Ready.

00:13:37 Hurst
Tweet.

00:13:39 Squirrell
Nice.

00:13:40 Squirrell
It's heads for Hearst.

00:13:41 Squirrell
*** ****.

00:13:41 Hurst
It's definitely the season of Hearst, but it comes to the coin.

00:13:44 Squirrell
Yeah, that's certainly true.

00:13:46 Squirrell
All right, then.

00:13:47 Squirrell
McDonald's menu items.

00:13:48 Squirrell
Have we got any rules to go through?

00:13:50 Squirrell
Only UK items is all we're doing.

00:13:52 Hurst
Yeah, only UK.

00:13:53 Squirrell
No drinks, we decided, didn't we?

00:13:55 Hurst
Yeah, none of the sort of generic coke fans.

00:13:58 Hurst
If it's McDonald's own, then it's different.

00:14:00 Squirrell
Oh, **** is it?

00:14:01 Squirrell
I assume no taste.

00:14:01 Hurst
I assume so.

00:14:02 Hurst
Well, because milkshakes are drinks, aren't they?

00:14:04 Hurst
And that's quite a distinct item on the McDonald's menu.

00:14:06 Squirrell
It is, but I simply didn't put it on my.

00:14:08 Squirrell
Oh well, never mind.

00:14:10 Squirrell
Let's go.

00:14:10 Squirrell
Never mind.

00:14:11 Hurst
Never mind.

00:14:13 Hurst
We'll figure it out.

00:14:14 Hurst
At #5, I have the Galaxy Caramel McFlurry.

00:14:19 Hurst
McFlurry is exquisite.

00:14:21 Hurst
It has the perfect combination of texture and flavor.

00:14:24 Hurst
Better, I say, outrageously even than Mr.

00:14:26 Hurst
Whippy.

00:14:27 Hurst
She's probably going to cause controversy, but I stand by it.

00:14:30 Hurst
And there are a variety of great flavors, both consistent ones and special edition ones.

00:14:34 Hurst
And Galaxy Caramel was a no-brainer when it came out and it delivered spectacularly.

00:14:39 Hurst
Never

00:14:40 Hurst
overpowering the natural charm of the ice cream, but complementing it beautifully.

00:14:43 Hurst
Absolute bang of a galaxy caramel McFly.

00:14:46 Hurst
So that's my #5.

00:14:48 Squirrell
Excellent, solid choice.

00:14:50 Squirrell
My #5, Hirst, I have the classic quarter pounder with cheese.

00:14:56 Hurst
Nice.

00:14:56 Squirrell
Yeah, 5 pound, 39.

00:14:59 Squirrell
Well, it was last week, whether it's already gone up again.

00:15:01 Squirrell
It can be 6 pounds 50.

00:15:03 Squirrell
So Hirst, I've got a little game for you this week.

00:15:05 Hurst
Nice.

00:15:06 Squirrell
I have some nutritional information.

00:15:09 Squirrell
I've collected information about the calories, the salt, the fat and the saturated fat from each of my items.

00:15:14 Squirrell
And I want you to guess for each item which one hits your highest recommended daily amount allowance.

00:15:19 Squirrell
You know, the percentage.

00:15:21 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:15:22 Squirrell
So is it in a quarter pounder of cheese?

00:15:24 Squirrell
Is it calories, salt, fat or saturated fat?

00:15:30 Hurst
It won't be calories because nothing's two and a half thousand calories.

00:15:34 Squirrell
But it still might be the highest of all of them, you see.

00:15:37 Hurst
Oh, I thought you meant like the highest exceeds your daily...

00:15:40 Squirrell
No, no, so yeah, I just want to know which one is the top one out of those four in terms of how much you're allowed versus how much you get?

00:15:49 Hurst
Oh, right, so the percentage of your daily allowance.

00:15:52 Hurst
Okay, I'm with you.

00:15:53 Hurst
I'm going to say salt.

00:15:56 Squirrell
Salt, 2.3 grams of salt has 38% of your daily allowance.

00:16:01 Squirrell
That's pretty good.

00:16:01 Squirrell
Exactly the same as fat, also 38%.

00:16:03 Squirrell
Saturated fat has 63%, I'm afraid, of your daily allowance.

00:16:10 Squirrell
13 grams of saturated fat in a quarter powder with cheese.

00:16:13 Squirrell
So you could only have one of them.

00:16:15 Squirrell
before nutritionists would be wagging their finger.

00:16:18 Squirrell
I think they'd probably be standing at the door wagging their finger at everyone who came in, wouldn't they?

00:16:22 Squirrell
Oh, maybe.

00:16:23 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:16:24 Hurst
The opposite of Troy Hawke.

00:16:25 Squirrell
Yes.

00:16:26 Squirrell
So all right.

00:16:27 Squirrell
Well, good try, Hurst.

00:16:28 Squirrell
But yeah, Quarter Pounder with cheese, it is just good.

00:16:31 Squirrell
Obviously it's not good compared to a great burger from a great burger joint, but for a McDonald's burger, the Quarter Pounder with cheese is a solid entry.

00:16:39 Squirrell
The way they make their Quarter Pounders is they're a little bit thicker than the wobbly things you get in a Big Mac.

00:16:45 Squirrell
So they have a little bit...

00:16:47 Squirrell
well they're not as dry.

00:16:48 Squirrell
Let's put it like that.

00:16:50 Squirrell
And they come with gherkins, which are of course well nice.

00:16:53 Squirrell
That's pickles, Ohio, in case you're wondering what the **** I'm talking about.

00:16:56 Squirrell
And anyone that takes them out of their burger is...

00:16:59 Squirrell
honestly, I look down my nose upon them in serious food snobbery.

00:17:03 Squirrell
Number five.

00:17:04 Squirrell
Quite valuable cheese.

00:17:06 Hurst
American denies you have been judged.

00:17:08 Squirrell
I will judge you for taking your vegetables out.

00:17:11 Squirrell
Come on, they're well nice.

00:17:13 Hurst
Yeah, they are good.

00:17:14 Squirrell
The acidity is needed in a burger to cut through some of the richness.

00:17:18 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:17:19 Squirrell
A ******* fact.

00:17:20 Hurst
Good stuff.

00:17:21 Hurst
My #4 is the Creme Egg McFlurry.

00:17:23 Squirrell
Oh, you're doing a Lord of the Rings.

00:17:26 Squirrell
All right.

00:17:27 Hurst
Yeah, hence the uh-oh earlier.

00:17:29 Hurst
Some things just make sense.

00:17:31 Hurst
And as Easter comes along, Cadbury's wheel out the Creme Egg.

00:17:34 Hurst
It's classic.

00:17:35 Hurst
It's delicious.

00:17:36 Hurst
And it made absolute sense to pair it with McFlurry.

00:17:39 Hurst
Slam dunk.

00:17:40 Hurst
Sensational stuff.

00:17:41 Hurst
Number 4, the Creme Egg McFlurry.

00:17:44 Squirrell
Yeah, solid choice.

00:17:45 Squirrell
Tough to argue they are well good.

00:17:48 Squirrell
Do they do any other seasonal McFlurries?

00:17:50 Squirrell
I'm not a McDonald's dessert guy, so I don't know much about the McFlurry.

00:17:55 Hurst
Yeah, most of them are, I say, they've got the Easter, they've got the cream egg ones.

00:17:59 Hurst
In winter, sometimes they'll bring out like a cinnamon eel or something.

00:18:03 Hurst
They do.

00:18:04 Hurst
Make a nod to it, but I think a lot of it's just who's giving them the biggest backhander, maybe.

00:18:08 Squirrell
All right, okay, fair enough.

00:18:10 Squirrell
All right.

00:18:12 Squirrell
My #4 is from the breakfast menu Hurst.

00:18:15 Squirrell
Hash browns.

00:18:16 Squirrell
McDonald's hash browns.

00:18:18 Squirrell
I swear they used to cost about 30p each.

00:18:22 Squirrell
They are now one pound ninety-nine.

00:18:27 Squirrell
What the **** McDonald's?

00:18:29 Squirrell
That is too expensive, but I am not.

00:18:32 Squirrell
I am kind of judging them on value a little bit, but the hash browns are well nice.

00:18:35 Squirrell
Hurst, we're playing the game again.

00:18:36 Squirrell
Calories, salt, saturated fat or fat, which one do you think is the highest amount of your recommended daily allowance if you eat a hash brown?

00:18:45 Hurst
I'm going to go with saturated fats.

00:18:48 Squirrell
Saturated fats 4% of your RDA has barely any more.7 grams of saturated fat.

00:18:54 Squirrell
You could have had fat or salt, both 11% of your recommended daily.

00:18:58 Hurst
I couldn't remember what they were to be honest, so I just wanted to say things last time.

00:19:03 Hurst
I was thinking now if they got lots of salt and then I thought, oh, I missed the other things.

00:19:08 Hurst
So it's salt or calories.

00:19:09 Hurst
I'll go with, I don't know, half fat.

00:19:10 Hurst
Yeah, I got it wrong.

00:19:12 Squirrell
You got it wrong.

00:19:12 Squirrell
But generally healthy, a hash brown it seems.

00:19:16 Squirrell
You could eat nearly ten of them before

00:19:18 Squirrell
you start kicking over your salt and fat limits.

00:19:20 Squirrell
Now, obviously, normal people would take one of those little packets of salt and add more salt, but we don't think about that.

00:19:25 Squirrell
That doesn't matter.

00:19:25 Squirrell
That's your own fault.

00:19:26 Squirrell
Hash browns.

00:19:28 Squirrell
Pretty good.

00:19:28 Squirrell
Even as far as hash browns go, a good McDonald's hash browns, sometimes they're a bit **** because they've cooked them in oil that's too cold and they go a bit soggy.

00:19:36 Squirrell
But if you get a good, nice, crispy one, they are nearly hash brown perfect.

00:19:40 Squirrell
And what more can you ask for besides a significantly lower price?

00:19:45 Squirrell
Hash browns from the breakfast menu.

00:19:47 Hurst
Very good.

00:19:48 Hurst
Now I'm going to go slightly off piste here with my #3 and go for the Dairy Milk McFlurry.

00:19:56 Hurst
I love the variety of McFlurry.

00:19:59 Hurst
I love that they've got all these amazing flavors coming out and there's new things to try and keep you guessing.

00:20:03 Hurst
And the rotating door of new flavors makes each trip an adventure.

00:20:06 Hurst
But that said, you do pay a premium for limited editions and sometimes simple is best.

00:20:11 Hurst
The classic Dairy Milk McFlurry is 2 classics thrown together in a beautiful fusion.

00:20:16 Hurst
Plain Dairy Milk

00:20:17 Hurst
No popping candy or nuts or honeycomb, just pure quality milk chocolate.

00:20:22 Hurst
And when you strip away the nonsense, you're left with pure excellence.

00:20:26 Hurst
Sublime, the Dairy Milk McFlurry, number three.

00:20:30 Squirrell
All right, there we are.

00:20:31 Squirrell
Better than the cabbage cream egg one.

00:20:33 Squirrell
That does shock me.

00:20:34 Squirrell
I would think that a cabbage cream would suit an ice cream more because you've kind of got some sauce going in there as well.

00:20:39 Hurst
You do, but the sauce doesn't add any more than the actual McFlurry itself does to the Dairy Milk.

00:20:45 Hurst
So the McFlurry

00:20:47 Hurst
like the Creme Egg sauce for a plain Dairy Milk.

00:20:50 Hurst
And I think if anything, there's almost too much.

00:20:52 Hurst
You get the ping of it, but it's almost too sweet.

00:20:54 Squirrell
Oh, all right.

00:20:56 Squirrell
Fair enough.

00:20:57 Squirrell
Number 3, opposite end of the scale for me, Hurst, I've got the big tasty.

00:21:02 Squirrell
Now tell me what that is.

00:21:03 Squirrell
This is a kind of, what's the word for time specific?

00:21:08 Squirrell
As in they don't do it all the time.

00:21:10 Squirrell
A limited edition.

00:21:12 Squirrell
It's not, they keep bringing it back though.

00:21:14 Squirrell
It kind of comes and goes.

00:21:15 Hurst
Right, it's a regular listener.

00:21:17 Squirrell
It's seasonal.

00:21:18 Squirrell
Maybe it's seasonal.

00:21:20 Hurst
Maybe.

00:21:20 Squirrell
It's a seasonal item, Hurst.

00:21:22 Squirrell
I might just leave all that bit in.

00:21:23 Squirrell
And it is, it was, and I think it might still be the biggest burger they do.

00:21:28 Squirrell
You can now get a double big tasty.

00:21:30 Squirrell
I had one of them.

00:21:31 Squirrell
Structural issues, Hurst.

00:21:33 Squirrell
It kind of fell apart in the middle.

00:21:35 Squirrell
The extra burger, it just kind of slid off the other one and it was no good.

00:21:39 Squirrell
So I will stick with the normal big tasty.

00:21:41 Squirrell
You get honestly too much lettuce and some tomato in there, which I take out because I'm a tomato dodger, gross.

00:21:49 Squirrell
But the important thing is the big tasty sauce is banging.

00:21:53 Squirrell
I have looked up several recipes to try and make it myself and they're all American recipes and they're all different to the UK recipe.

00:22:00 Squirrell
Now,

00:22:01 Squirrell
I know someone that knows someone at McDonald's and works in their test kitchen and kind of comes up with new recipes.

00:22:06 Squirrell
I think he had something to do with the big arch, which is sold so well it's gone onto their permanent menu.

00:22:11 Squirrell
But I can't remember who I know that knows that person.

00:22:13 Squirrell
So if you are listening to this podcast, person who knows that person, please remind me of who you are so I can get you to ask them to tell me how to make big tasty sauce for myself because it is well nice.

00:22:26 Squirrell
First, you ready to play the game?

00:22:27 Hurst
I'm ready.

00:22:29 Squirrell
Calories, salt, fat, saturated fat.

00:22:32 Squirrell
Do you want to write them down?

00:22:33 Hurst
No.

00:22:34 Hurst
Calories, salt, saturated fat and fat.

00:22:37 Hurst
Well, this is a tough one because obviously it's going to be a stack of calories.

00:22:42 Hurst
But then equally, if calories wasn't a major thing in the, what was it, the XL or the quarter pounder, I've got to just imagine that the saturated fats are going to go up with the size of the boat.

00:22:54 Hurst
I'm going to go saturated fats.

00:22:56 Squirrell
You would be correct, Hurst.

00:22:57 Squirrell
One gram more, 14 grams of saturated fats for 68% of your recommended daily allowance.

00:23:05 Hurst
Wow.

00:23:05 Squirrell
Seven pound 19 you'll pay for a big tasty, by the way.

00:23:09 Hurst
Just the big tasty, not even a meal.

00:23:11 Squirrell
No, not a meal.

00:23:13 Squirrell
That's horrageous.

00:23:14 Squirrell
Yes, it's a lot of money.

00:23:16 Squirrell
But now think when you're at the concert at the festival and you go to a ****** burger van and they will charge you a tenner for a absolute lumber crab.

00:23:24 Hurst
Yeah, that's because you've got no other options, really.

00:23:26 Squirrell
You do not have any other options.

00:23:28 Squirrell
This is true.

00:23:29 Hurst
That's a captive audience for this McDonald's.

00:23:31 Hurst
You've chosen to go there and walk into that place.

00:23:34 Squirrell
But I will choose to buy them because I think they're ******* delicious.

00:23:38 Squirrell
So yeah, they're free.

00:23:38 Hurst
How rich you rich there?

00:23:39 Hurst
I'll buy them, bro.

00:23:41 Squirrell
They pay 7 quid.

00:23:45 Squirrell
Still less than a beer in some places.

00:23:48 Hurst
Not up north, mate.

00:23:49 Squirrell
No one.

00:23:49 Squirrell
No, that's true.

00:23:50 Hurst
Right, very good.

00:23:51 Hurst
Okay, my #2, I have gone with the classic Smarties McFlurry.

00:23:56 Hurst
So keeping with the OG McFlurries that I've just talked about at #3, my #2 is the Smarties McFlurry.

00:24:03 Hurst
Just like Dairy Milk version, Smarties pairs 2 classics.

00:24:06 Hurst
Smarties are one of the only confectionary classics that you never really think to buy when you're in the shops as well.

00:24:11 Hurst
I remember when was the last time you went out and bought a tube of Smarties?

00:24:15 Hurst
You never did.

00:24:16 Squirrell
Probably when I needed them for something else, like putting on a cake or something.

00:24:19 Hurst
And maybe it's the fact that you can't take a bite into them like you can, like the satisfying bite into a chocolate bar or like the crunch you get from when you tear off a few cubes of dairy milk and that crunch again.

00:24:30 Hurst
So maybe there's something that maybe psychologically they feel unsubstantial as a standalone purchase.

00:24:35 Hurst
I think that's why they flourish in McFlurries.

00:24:37 Hurst
You love the flavor, but you wouldn't normally buy it.

00:24:39 Hurst
Like when they come in an Easter egg and you chomp down and you think, my God, I forgot how good Smarties were.

00:24:44 Hurst
That's the beauty of this holiest of unions.

00:24:47 Hurst
Naturally, the Smarties are smaller than regular,

00:24:50 Hurst
No, they didn't crunch them up or anything.

00:24:52 Hurst
No, they didn't used to.

00:24:54 Hurst
Maybe they do now, actually, now that I think about it.

00:24:57 Squirrell
Oh, look at a picture.

00:24:57 Hurst
I thought they used to be teeny tiny ones that were going out.

00:25:01 Squirrell
What the hell happened to Smarties McFlurries is the first thing.

00:25:04 Squirrell
They do look crunched up in this first picture I'm looking at.

00:25:06 Hurst
You know what?

00:25:07 Hurst
I think most recently they have done.

00:25:09 Hurst
Maybe they just forgetting the small ones was too difficult.

00:25:11 Squirrell
Maybe.

00:25:12 Hurst
And I just remember them with nostalgic joy.

00:25:15 Hurst
You forget how good they are, and that's the beauty of this whole list of unions.

00:25:17 Hurst
Naturally, the smarties are.

00:25:19 Hurst
We've just covered all that.

00:25:21 Squirrell
Yes.

00:25:22 Squirrell
Good.

00:25:22 Hurst
My notes.

00:25:23 Hurst
Yeah.

00:25:23 Hurst
Anyway, it makes perfect marriage with Mighty McFlurry.

00:25:26 Hurst
Phenomenal stuff.

00:25:26 Hurst
Number 2 is Smarties McFlurry.

00:25:29 Squirrell
All right, there we are.

00:25:30 Squirrell
Number 2 for me, is there ******* fries?

00:25:33 Squirrell
And if this is allowed, it's going back 20 years to when they used to make them in beef dripping rather than naw oil.

00:25:38 Squirrell
But even if they didn't, I think fries still go at #2 for me.

00:25:42 Hurst
You know, I think that's allowed because we did say past and present just to end the day.

00:25:47 Squirrell
Right.

00:25:48 Squirrell
So, there we go.

00:25:49 Squirrell
McDonald's fries.

00:25:50 Squirrell
Now, I haven't been talking a massive amount about anything else on my list.

00:25:52 Squirrell
That's because I've done some serious research into McDonald's fries, Hirst.

00:25:56 Squirrell
Are you ready for this?

00:25:57 Hurst
Okay, go on then.

00:25:57 Squirrell
Let's do the game, Hirst.

00:25:58 Squirrell
Don't forget calories, salt, fat, saturated fat.

00:26:01 Squirrell
We'll talk.

00:26:02 Squirrell
It doesn't matter what size you get, of course, because they're all the same things.

00:26:05 Squirrell
But this is for a medium fries, which will set you back 1.59.

00:26:10 Hurst
I'm going to say fat just because of the way they cook them.

00:26:13 Squirrell
You are correct.

00:26:14 Squirrell
22 grams of fat, 31% of your recommended daily allowance.

00:26:19 Squirrell
Lowser.

00:26:20 Squirrell
Now Hurst, you may have heard the rumor that there isn't really any difference between medium fries and large fries except for the cost.

00:26:28 Squirrell
Large fries are two pound 19, medium fries are one pound 59.

00:26:31 Squirrell
So I went to the two McDonald's in Bedford and I got two medium fries and two large fries from each one and I weighed them.

00:26:38 Squirrell
Like a madman Hurst and I have science.

00:26:41 Squirrell
Here we go.

00:26:42 Squirrell
So as far as McDonald's are concerned, mediums should be 75% the size of a large.

00:26:47 Squirrell
That's going by the calorie count to work it out, right?

00:26:49 Squirrell
Makes sense.

00:26:51 Squirrell
But they're 72% of the price, so they're actually better value, bargain.

00:26:54 Squirrell
And small is 53% of the size, but 54% of the cost, so boo.

00:26:58 Squirrell
But real world testing Hurst has found that mediums are actually 80% of the size and smalls were 54% on average, but the actual weight varied *******.

00:27:08 Squirrell
wildly.

00:27:09 Squirrell
The difference between the large fries at the two McDonald's that I went to in Bedford and they are a mile from each other at the most was 40 grams.

00:27:18 Squirrell
124 grams and 160 ringgit.

00:27:21 Squirrell
That's a ******* extra third.

00:27:23 Squirrell
I got an extra third just by going to a different restaurant.

00:27:26 Squirrell
So yeah, I would imagine oftentimes you can get medium fries that are the same size as a large fries, depending on what restaurant you go to, because honestly, they just appear to chuck them in.

00:27:35 Hurst
Do you want to do a shout out to the generous McDonald's that the people of Bedford know?

00:27:39 Squirrell
It was the one by Aspects.

00:27:41 Hurst
Okay, hit that one up.

00:27:43 Squirrell
All right.

00:27:44 Squirrell
Well, we're already on to our worst firsts.

00:27:48 Hurst
Goodness.

00:27:51 Hurst
Okay, wow, look, let me hit you with some controversy here.

00:27:56 Hurst
My worst is the Big Mac.

00:27:59 Hurst
That's right, my worst, Big Mac can **** ***.

00:28:02 Hurst
You know why?

00:28:03 Squirrell
You don't like it?

00:28:03 Hurst
Because it's a double cheeseburger with an unnecessary extra bit of bread in and some flaccid chopped lettuce.

00:28:09 Hurst
That's the difference.

00:28:10 Hurst
Both burgers use the same McDonald's standard 1.6 ounce beef patties, meaning you get the exact same amount of meat in both of the sandwiches.

00:28:19 Hurst
The only differences between them are the Big Mac features the third middle bun, the club layer, and some shredded lettuce.

00:28:28 Hurst
And it uses Big Mac sauce instead of ketchup and

00:28:31 Hurst
mustard and oh yeah, and a sprinkling of sesame seeds on the top bun.

00:28:34 Hurst
The double cheeseburger features ketchup, mustard on a standard two-part bun.

00:28:38 Squirrell
And gherkins.

00:28:40 Hurst
Yeah, they've got gherkins and a big one.

00:28:42 Hurst
Yeah, you get the same stuff in there.

00:28:44 Hurst
The only difference is I stripped out all the things that were the same and just looked at what was different.

00:28:48 Hurst
So yeah, Big Mac costs 5 pounds 29 and a double cheeseburger costs 2 pounds 49.

00:28:56 Hurst
So that's 2 pounds 80 for a middle layer of bread and a pinch of shredded lettuce that mostly you don't want anyway.

00:29:01 Hurst
Biggest scam in all of fast food.

00:29:04 Hurst
**** you, Big Mac.

00:29:05 Squirrell
There we are.

00:29:05 Squirrell
It's a little bit worse than that, Hers, because what you didn't mention is you only get one bit of cheese in a Big Mac and you get two in a double cheeseburger.

00:29:12 Hurst
Oh, sweet Lord, it just gets worse.

00:29:14 Hurst
The sin is just immense.

00:29:16 Squirrell
Well, there we are.

00:29:17 Squirrell
Remember, this doesn't count, rankers, but I'm not a Big Mac fan either.

00:29:21 Squirrell
They're all right.

00:29:21 Squirrell
They're all right.

00:29:23 Hurst
You're paying for the name, man.

00:29:24 Squirrell
Paying for the name.

00:29:26 Squirrell
You're paying for the status.

00:29:27 Squirrell
Yeah, that's all it is.

00:29:29 Hurst
What you got there?

00:29:30 Hurst
Big Mac.

00:29:31 Hurst
I've already got a cheeseburger.

00:29:33 Hurst
But I've got two of them and it still cost me less.

00:29:35 Squirrell
Yes, there you are.

00:29:36 Squirrell
So, no.

00:29:37 Squirrell
An interesting shout.

00:29:39 Squirrell
My worst was.

00:29:41 Squirrell
all of the cheese side things that you get in a little packet of four or a bigger packet of lots, depending on what they are.

00:29:49 Squirrell
They do around six week rotation cycles with these.

00:29:51 Squirrell
I've been looking it up and it goes mozzarella dippers, halloumi fries, cheese melt dippers, nacho cheese triangles, button terrible, cheesy garlic bites and chilli cheese bites.

00:30:02 Squirrell
And they just rotate them round and round and round.

00:30:04 Squirrell
They're all made by the same people.

00:30:05 Squirrell
They're all made by McCain actually.

00:30:07 Squirrell
And they're all just not very good.

00:30:10 Squirrell
And more important

00:30:11 Squirrell
Importantly, they all get smashed to pieces by the chilli cheese bites you can buy anytime you like from Burger King, which are legitimately ******* well nice.

00:30:18 Squirrell
All the cheese from McDonald's are just average as **** except for the halloumi fries and the nacho cheese triangles, which are ****.

00:30:25 Squirrell
So they are my worst, all of them.

00:30:28 Hurst
You know what?

00:30:28 Hurst
I'm glad we've talked about some of these other brands, because yesterday I lived in Cardi Hospital and we were on our way back and I thought, I will stop and get some food on the way.

00:30:37 Hurst
And there was a place that had all the fast food restaurants and stuff.

00:30:41 Hurst
to it was a KFC.

00:30:43 Hurst
And I still went to the KFC, even though we're doing a McDonald's episode.

00:30:48 Hurst
Because I just don't feel like there's any value in McDonald's.

00:30:52 Hurst
I do like the double cheeseburgers and I obviously love the McFlurry's, but I just want some chicken and it'll be just much nicer in KFC.

00:30:59 Hurst
Where McDonald's used to have the value thing going on, it's like, oh, I can get it just much cheaper at McDonald's.

00:31:04 Hurst
Swings and roundabouts now.

00:31:05 Hurst
So yeah, bad times.

00:31:07 Squirrell
KFC fries are ****.

00:31:10 Hurst
Not anymore.

00:31:11 Squirrell
No, they put this ******* sprinkle sauce on them, but the fries themselves are still ****.

00:31:15 Squirrell
They can't be bothered to peel their ******* potatoes.

00:31:17 Hurst
I think they're right.

00:31:18 Hurst
I mean, they used to be god-awful, but then they cranked it up.

00:31:22 Squirrell
They used to be god-awful, now they're just bad.

00:31:24 Hurst
I'm fine with them.

00:31:25 Squirrell
Weirdo, let us know, Rankers, how wrong is Hearst about?

00:31:29 Squirrell
Well, let us both know how wrong we are, I guess.

00:31:31 Squirrell
That's the whole point of the show.

00:31:34 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:31:34 Squirrell
Well, enough about the worst Hearst.

00:31:37 Squirrell
Tell us about the first Hearst.

00:31:44 Hurst
Number one, as I'm sure you've gathered, I rate McFlurry over all of the burgers and chips and happy meals and shakes and wild swings in the dark that McDonald's do.

00:31:53 Hurst
I would choose McFlurry over Ben and Jerry.

00:31:56 Hurst
It's better than original Mr Whitney.

00:31:57 Hurst
It's arguably the best ice cream ever made and it's stayed at 99p for years and years, maybe even decades and it has great ongoing variety whilst still remaining faithful to the classics.

00:32:07 Hurst
Only think better

00:32:09 Hurst
was when they did the hot apple pie with ice cream, which was ultimately the same ice cream as McFlurry, and **** me down if that wasn't the best thing in the history of all of fast food.

00:32:19 Hurst
The hot and the cold are so intense, put them together, it just makes sense.

00:32:25 Hurst
hot apple pie with McFlurry ice cream, pure, euphoric, Titan-esque perfection.

00:32:29 Hurst
That is my number one.

00:32:31 Squirrell
How did they serve that?

00:32:32 Squirrell
Like, because normally they apple pie is not a cardboard box.

00:32:35 Hurst
It wasn't a takeaway kind of thing, as I recall.

00:32:37 Hurst
It was like in one of those little boat boxes that you could have.

00:32:41 Hurst
And it was such a long time ago, but it stuck in my head so greatly.

00:32:47 Hurst
Good times.

00:32:48 Squirrell
There you are.

00:32:49 Squirrell
This episode is going to come down to, do I like ice cream or do I like burgers?

00:32:54 Squirrell
Because my number one is the double cheeseburger that you've just been talking about.

00:32:58 Squirrell
They're just so good.

00:33:00 Squirrell
And if we go back in time a little bit, they also used to cost 99p.

00:33:04 Squirrell
And you don't even have to go back that far.

00:33:06 Hurst
I see, I looked that up as well, because I was getting angry.

00:33:09 Hurst
And the lowest I could find them was at one pound 29, because I remember on the value menu, it used to say double cheeseburger at 119, I thought, but they've said 129.

00:33:18 Hurst
So, but it is a double.

00:33:20 Squirrell
It is a double.

00:33:20 Squirrell
You go back far enough, you used to be able to get a burger for 49p, a cheeseburger for 69p, and the double cheeseburger for 99p.

00:33:27 Hurst
I knew it.

00:33:29 Squirrell
They were on the pounds saver menu, right?

00:33:31 Squirrell
And this was back when the pound saver menu didn't actually go above about.

00:33:34 Squirrell
they remain a bit of a bargain, especially as Hurst did, comparing them to the Big Mac.

00:33:38 Squirrell
2.59, as you said, they are almost spot on for ratios.

00:33:45 Squirrell
As a burger, the amount of bread to the amount of burger to the amount of cheese to the amount of everything else, they have got that dialled into mother flipping perfection.

00:33:54 Squirrell
And they do a triple cheeseburger one now.

00:33:55 Squirrell
And it's not as good because the ratios have gone out.

00:33:59 Squirrell
But before I talk about them some more, Hurst, calories, salt, fat, saturated fat, which one hits the largest of your recommended daily allowance when you smash down a double cheeseburger or two?

00:34:08 Hurst
Oh, I mean, the ratio is for highest and then there's the two.

00:34:13 Hurst
It's to saturated fat.

00:34:15 Squirrell
It turns 57% of your saturated fat, so I reckon you could cheekily sneak into.

00:34:19 Squirrell
I reckon you'll be like, oh no, I've gone 14% of them, but I'll probably be fine.

00:34:23 Squirrell
Double cheeseburgers, just really nice, really simple, still fairly cheap.

00:34:27 Squirrell
Value for money, especially back when they used to cost a pound and something.

00:34:32 Hurst
Yeah.

00:34:32 Squirrell
Unbeatable.

00:34:33 Squirrell
Just unbeatable.

00:34:34 Squirrell
It was so good.

00:34:34 Hurst
I would go to McDonald's just to get a McFlurry and a double cheeseburger and know that it was going to cost me less than two pound 50.

00:34:42 Hurst
I'd be getting on the train home, drunk, going, yeah, this is the life.

00:34:45 Squirrell
Your bag full of burgers.

00:34:46 Squirrell
And you know what?

00:34:47 Hurst
If McFlurry didn't exist, then actually the double cheeseburger would have been my number one as well.

00:34:52 Hurst
Because if I'm buying the actual sandwiches and things, then it's my absolute go-to every time.

00:34:58 Hurst
There we go.

00:34:59 Squirrell
And before I give you a fact and estimated fact about the double cheeseburger, would you like to give me a fact and estimated fact about the apple pie and the McFlurry?

00:35:06 Squirrell
I would.

00:35:06 Hurst
I did think that mid, whilst you were in mid, but I thought I'd let you get to the end of it.

00:35:12 Hurst
Would you like an estimated fact and a fact

00:35:16 Hurst
about McFlurry.

00:35:18 Squirrell
Gee Whitaker, would I, mr.

00:35:20 Hurst
Fact, the McFlurry was first invented by a Canadian franchisee named Ronald McClellan and it made its debut on the 7th of June 1995, later rolling out in the United States in 1997.

00:35:34 Hurst
Fact, in the UK, almost one in five McDonald's drive-thru visits are stand-alone McFlurry purchases, obviously spiking in the sun.

00:35:44 Squirrell
Because of people like you.

00:35:46 Hurst
People like me.

00:35:47 Squirrell
One in five.

00:35:49 Squirrell
Now, I used to work at McDonald's a long, time ago.

00:35:54 Hurst
In fact, the only drive-through, it's not all of that.

00:35:57 Squirrell
This was the drive-through.

00:35:58 Squirrell
Most people coming to the drive-through for only one thing were getting coffee.

00:36:03 Squirrell
I'm going to say the fact is the Canadian one.

00:36:05 Hurst
That is the actual fact.

00:36:08 Hurst
Didn't realize you had real world experience of working inside McDonald's.

00:36:13 Squirrell
Three or four months.

00:36:16 Hurst
That's a good shift.

00:36:18 Squirrell
You can collect stars.

00:36:20 Hurst
You got stars in your first three or four months.

00:36:22 Squirrell
Oh, it's easy.

00:36:23 Squirrell
It's different now.

00:36:24 Squirrell
But back when I did it, you would get a star for learning to do something like booking fryer or booking till service or drive through.

00:36:31 Squirrell
And then when you've got 5, you can cash them in and you got, I think, 20 quid and you can start again.

00:36:36 Squirrell
Good idea.

00:36:37 Hurst
I just assumed that meant how important you are.

00:36:39 Squirrell
No, nothing to do with that.

00:36:40 Squirrell
It was I've learned to do this.

00:36:42 Squirrell
Or you could get them for doing stuff well.

00:36:44 Squirrell
as well.

00:36:44 Squirrell
I've got a few of them, but I did learn to do stuff well.

00:36:47 Hurst
McDonald's really taking you back to school?

00:36:49 Squirrell
Yeah, well, yeah, but honestly, it's legitimately, I think it still is a good place to work.

00:36:54 Squirrell
They pay people quite well.

00:36:55 Squirrell
They are not ***** most of the time.

00:36:57 Hurst
It's a good management training.

00:36:58 Squirrell
Management training is very good.

00:37:00 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:37:00 Squirrell
So they are.

00:37:01 Hurst
It doesn't make up for the fact that they used to be nice and cheap, and now they're just really expensive.

00:37:06 Hurst
Not a good one.

00:37:07 Squirrell
Five Guys is really expensive.

00:37:08 Squirrell
Five Guys is really expensive.

00:37:10 Hurst
Yeah, okay, that's really expensive.

00:37:11 Hurst
And that said,

00:37:13 Hurst
stall out early doors as being premium.

00:37:16 Squirrell
Very tricky to dig up a fact, an estimated fact about a double cheeseburger, turns out, because you search them on the internet and all it is is people complaining about them.

00:37:25 Squirrell
All I could have done really is exactly what you did about the ******* Big Mac being practically the same thing.

00:37:30 Squirrell
So thanks, and we will move on.

00:37:32 Squirrell
I've got General McDonald's trivia instead.

00:37:35 Squirrell
Is that okay?

00:37:35 Squirrell
All right, here we go.

00:37:37 Squirrell
Fact in the estimated fact has fact.

00:37:39 Squirrell
For a time in the early 2010s, McDonald's sold more salads than any other restaurant in the world.

00:37:47 Squirrell
Or fact.

00:37:49 Squirrell
McDonald's is currently the world's largest distributor of toys.

00:37:53 Hurst
That first one, I think, they brought out salads and no one knew why, but thought maybe I should.

00:38:00 Hurst
I'll have a Big Mac and a token salad.

00:38:01 Hurst
Yeah, all right, I'll go with that.

00:38:03 Squirrell
They might have done, I completely made that one up myself.

00:38:06 Squirrell
They are the world's largest toy distributor.

00:38:08 Squirrell
They give away 1.5 billion toys each year.

00:38:11 Hurst
Wow.

00:38:12 Squirrell
Goodness.

00:38:13 Hurst
I find that fact really difficult to digest.

00:38:15 Squirrell
Well, there we are, rankers.

00:38:16 Squirrell
That's our top five.

00:38:18 Squirrell
Do you like food or do you like ice cream?

00:38:20 Squirrell
Which I guess is still food, right?

00:38:22 Squirrell
Did you say McFlurry was better than a Ben and Jerry's?

00:38:24 Squirrell
Did I hear that come out of your mouth?

00:38:25 Hurst
Yeah, I would choose my Ben and Jerry's.

00:38:28 Squirrell
Even like the fish food Ben and Jerry's.

00:38:30 Hurst
That is excellent, but I just, I love McFlurry so much with all my heart.

00:38:35 Hurst
I guess we need to find out what we're doing next time.

00:38:37 Squirrell
All right, so here is the wheel, many things upon it.

00:38:40 Squirrell
McDonald's, of course, being one of the OG options.

00:38:43 Squirrell
It was one of the original 6 when we first started doing this.

00:38:46 Squirrell
There are a lot more things than six on the wheel now.

00:38:49 Hurst
Is there one that just says songs from Dirty Dancing?

00:38:52 Squirrell
Songs from Dirty Dancing has been on there for a very long time.

00:38:56 Hurst
That's crept under my radar of fury.

00:38:59 Squirrell
Songs from Dirty Dancing was suggested by...

00:39:02 Squirrell
It's an OG one.

00:39:03 Squirrell
It's been on there for ages.

00:39:06 Hurst
I never remember seeing it before.

00:39:08 Hurst
Can we get rid of it if no one's put it there?

00:39:09 Squirrell
Well, what's wrong with ranking the songs from Dirty Dancing?

00:39:14 Hurst
I mean, it'll be kind of boring, I thought.

00:39:17 Hurst
How many songs are there in Dirty Dancing?

00:39:18 Squirrell
They would dance to them.

00:39:21 Hurst
Anyway, **** it, just spin the wheel.

00:39:23 Hurst
If it comes up now, I'm going to...

00:39:25 Squirrell
Jesus, come on, come on.

00:39:28 Squirrell
It's nowhere near it.

00:39:29 Squirrell
Oh **** son, it's Fast and Furious movies.

00:39:35 Squirrell
Now you wish you were doing songs from Dirty Dancing.

00:39:38 Hurst
God, I wish we were doing songs from Dirty Dancing.

00:39:40 Squirrell
I ******* love Fast and Furious.

00:39:44 Squirrell
Oh, what an excellent excuse to watch all mine Fast and Furious movies from the most successful movie franchise that's ever existed that isn't Marvel.

00:39:51 Hurst
Aren't there 10 of them?

00:39:54 Hurst
Furious X or something.

00:39:55 Hurst
It wasn't X for 10.

00:39:56 Squirrell
It's 11.

00:40:02 Squirrell
So that's even better news for you, Hearst.

00:40:05 Hurst
Hearst looked wistfully off into the distance, wondering about his life choices.

00:40:10 Squirrell
Are we going to count Fast and Furious presents Hobbs and Shaw, which was technically a spin-off.

00:40:15 Hurst
I don't care.

00:40:16 Squirrell
It's ******* brilliant.

00:40:17 Hurst
I don't care.

00:40:19 Squirrell
It's so good.

00:40:20 Squirrell
Fast and Fuse is basically a lot of them.

00:40:22 Squirrell
It's just Top Gun on the ground.

00:40:24 Hurst
Yeah, and we don't need 11 Top Guns.

00:40:26 Squirrell
Like you want to be really good.

00:40:28 Squirrell
How dare you, sir.

00:40:29 Squirrell
I would take 11 Top Guns in a second.

00:40:31 Hurst
I've seen the first one.

00:40:32 Hurst
It was good.

00:40:33 Squirrell
The rest are completely...

00:40:34 Squirrell
Have you not seen any of the others?

00:40:35 Hurst
The one where they skydive in their cars and land on the road in formation and keep driving and then do like a jump over a freeway.

00:40:47 Hurst
when it became a cartoon.

00:40:49 Squirrell
It kind of become a cartoon by then, but that was definitely cartoon world.

00:40:53 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:40:53 Squirrell
Oh, I'm looking forward to this one A lot.

00:40:56 Squirrell
This one was suggested by our American friend, Ohio Hurst.

00:41:02 Hurst
Okay.

00:41:02 Hurst
Well, you know, you can't say that Ohio hasn't paid his dues.

00:41:06 Squirrell
That's true.

00:41:06 Squirrell
And speaking of paying your dues, all we seem to be doing for Patreons at the moment is apologizing to them.

00:41:11 Squirrell
But last time, our Hurst, we didn't mention our number ones.

00:41:16 Hurst
That was shocking from us.

00:41:20 Squirrell
That was, and we apologise profusely.

00:41:23 Hurst
Plus, aside from them not having done it, they didn't get to hear you choose what voice I'm doing it in.

00:41:28 Squirrell
Yes, and I think because we are doing McDonald's this episode, I want you to do it in the voice of Yoda.

00:41:38 Hurst
Yoda.

00:41:39 Squirrell
Do you remember who they are?

00:41:41 Speaker 5
Yeah, okay.

00:41:43 Speaker 5
Oh, Goddess Jasmine is one of our number ones.

00:41:47 Speaker 5
Oh, Dave Pass, the force is strong.

00:41:49 Speaker 5
Oh, Gaz Chap, oh.

00:41:56 Speaker 5
Oh, Kovach, very good, you are.

00:42:00 Squirrell
And someone has a temporary visa certificate.

00:42:02 Speaker 5
And don't forget out that Ohio.

00:42:06 Squirrell
Has a temporary visa.

00:42:09 Squirrell
I feel like you forgot how ******* big.

00:42:12 Squirrell
Temporary visa he has.

00:42:15 Speaker 5
Temporary visa you have.

00:42:17 Squirrell
There you are.

00:42:20 Squirrell
I hope that made-up for our number ones.

00:42:22 Squirrell
I do apologize.

00:42:23 Squirrell
If you would like to hear your name read out in a stupid voice every episode in theory, you can become a #1 by simply poning up a fiver per month, less than the cost of a Big Mac, less than the cost of a quarter pound

00:42:36 Squirrell
with cheese.

00:42:37 Squirrell
A month.

00:42:38 Squirrell
It's nothing.

00:42:39 Squirrell
You're all rich.

00:42:40 Squirrell
We know it.

00:42:42 Hurst
Anything on a McDonald's menu these days, isn't it?

00:42:44 Squirrell
No, not the double cheeseburger or a McFlurry, of course.

00:42:47 Hurst
Oh yeah, especially if you want to be a number one.

00:42:49 Hurst
Yeah.

00:42:50 Hurst
Sorry, I was just thinking of general Patreon skills.

00:42:52 Squirrell
If you just want to be a normal Patreon, there are still some slots left for the one pound tier, which is exactly the same as the two pound tier, only it's half the price.

00:43:00 Squirrell
They are limited to 20 people and there are still, I think, two slots left.

00:43:04 Squirrell
And if you become a

00:43:06 Squirrell
to choose stuff to put on the wheel that will make Hurst pull a face like he did when he had Top Five Fast and Furious Furious.

00:43:14 Hurst
That's fine.

00:43:15 Hurst
It'll be fine.

00:43:15 Hurst
I just got to let Carly know that we're watching Fast and Furious for the next two weeks.

00:43:19 Squirrell
Well, she's on a cruise, right?

00:43:21 Squirrell
So now is the time to get it done, Hurst.

00:43:24 Squirrell
If we'd have done this on Friday, you could have spent your whole bank holiday.

00:43:26 Hurst
No, it's just too much gardening to do.

00:43:29 Squirrell
Oh, my bad.

00:43:30 Squirrell
There we are then, Hurst.

00:43:31 Squirrell
Don't forget to vote rankers.

00:43:33 Squirrell
That's very important.

00:43:34 Squirrell
topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

00:43:37 Squirrell
Drop us a vote, leave us a comment, put your name on it, or we don't know who you are.

00:43:40 Hurst
Yeah, that is the truth.

00:43:42 Squirrell
And if you don't have much money, which maybe you don't because you spent it all at ******* McDonald's like some other people have in the past two weeks, you can help us out by liking and subscribing and all that algorithm-friendly **** leaving comments, or telling one of your good buds that they should listen to Top Five Face Off because their opinions about **** is great.

00:44:05 Hurst
They matter.

00:44:05 Hurst
Their opinions about.

00:44:07 Squirrell
It does matter.

00:44:08 Squirrell
You get to be part of the official world ranking.

00:44:10 Squirrell
Wow.

00:44:12 Hurst
Be saving lives.

00:44:13 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:44:15 Hurst
Or at least arguments in the pub.

00:44:17 Squirrell
Yeah, that's more likely.

00:44:19 Squirrell
Now, Hurst, oh no, I had a cheeseburger and accidentally slung it across my room and it hit my wall.

00:44:26 Squirrell
Oh, my wallpaper.

00:44:28 Squirrell
She is stained.

00:44:29 Squirrell
How can I cover up that almighty mess?

00:44:31 Squirrell
Maybe some arts?

00:44:34 Hurst
I would definitely buy some art.

00:44:36 Squirrell
Where can I buy art?

00:44:37 Hurst
Well, I'm glad you asked because I sell art.

00:44:40 Squirrell
Oh my God.

00:44:40 Hurst
I don't know if you knew this.

00:44:42 Hurst
I sell art.

00:44:42 Squirrell
Well, what an excellent random happenstance.

00:44:45 Hurst
So you can investigate my stylings on dog.house.art across the Instagrams.

00:44:52 Hurst
And then once you've seen something you like, you might want to see if it's for sale on the www.dogghouseart.co.uk.

00:45:00 Hurst
which is where you can procure things.

00:45:02 Hurst
If there's stuff that you see on my site, you go, oh, that's amazing, but it's on Instagram, but you can't buy it yet.

00:45:07 Hurst
Tap me up.

00:45:08 Hurst
No worries.

00:45:09 Squirrell
Get in touch with Hurst.

00:45:10 Squirrell
I'm sure you can slide into his DMs.

00:45:12 Squirrell
Or if you fire an e-mail to hello at topfivefaceoff.co.uk, it will find its way to him eventually.

00:45:18 Hurst
And don't forget, if you do buy something, if you use the discount code, the facts are exact, you can claim 30%.

00:45:25 Hurst
30%! It's almost at cost.

00:45:28 Hurst
It's ridiculous.

00:45:30 Squirrell
That's the amount of extra fries you can get if you go to a different McDonald's.

00:45:34 Squirrell
Wow.

00:45:35 Squirrell
I can imagine.

00:45:36 Squirrell
Wow, what a bargain.

00:45:37 Hurst
Also, can you guys send us some more photos of you listening to Top Five that time of this year?

00:45:41 Hurst
It was awesome.

00:45:43 Squirrell
Yes, if you want to send us some photos, hello at top5phasto.co.uk, you can send them through to there.

00:45:48 Hurst
Send us photos of you listening to the podcast, but most importantly, vote.

00:45:51 Squirrell
Yeah, that is the most important thing.

00:45:54 Squirrell
Thank you very much for listening, glorious Rankers.

00:45:58 Squirrell
We will be back in two weeks' time with the top five Fast and Furious movies.

00:46:02 Hurst
Indeed.

00:46:03 Hurst
Let's smash this into the bottle bank and get on with our days.

00:46:06 Squirrell
All right, please rewind this podcast for the next people to come along and listen, and we will see you next time.

00:46:12 Hurst
See you later, Rankers.

00:46:14 Hurst
Love you.

00:46:18 Harriet
Top Five Faceoff is presented by Matt Hurst and Matt Squirrel and produced by Powerstorm Awesome Fire Incorporated.

00:46:25 Harriet
For more details and to vote for winner, visit topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

00:46:31 Harriet
Thanks for listening.

00:47:03 Squirrell
My dad is on the phone.

00:47:05 Squirrell
Please hold.

00:47:07 Hurst
I sent an outtake.

00:47:09 Squirrell
Big dog.

00:47:11 Squirrell
Mother.

00:47:12 Squirrell
Ah, what are you doing on his phone?

00:47:14 Squirrell
Oh.

00:47:16 Squirrell
How do you scan an app?

00:47:18 Squirrell
You're gonna have to help me out a bit, but I don't know what that means.

00:47:21 Squirrell
Do you mean scan the QR code?

00:47:22 Squirrell
Is there a square thing with like black and white?

00:47:25 Squirrell
Okay, so just open the camera on your phone.

00:47:27 Squirrell
Point at the QR code.

00:47:28 Squirrell
It should come up with little words.

00:47:31 Squirrell
Okay.

00:47:32 Squirrell
All right, send me the web page and I'll send you the URL back.

00:47:38 Mummy Squirrell
How do I send it?

00:47:39 Mummy Squirrell
Because it's a ferry booking.

00:47:43 Squirrell
Okay, all right, we're gonna do some high-tech **** Ma.

00:47:46 Squirrell
So press the print screen button on your keyboard.

00:47:50 Mummy Squirrell
Hang on, what button?

00:47:51 Squirrell
The print screen button, there'll be a key on your keyboard that says something like print screen or PRT script or something like that, print script.

00:47:57 Mummy Squirrell
Hang on, on my keyboard?

00:47:59 Mummy Squirrell
On your computer.

00:48:01 Squirrell
On your computer keyboard.

00:48:03 Mummy Squirrell
Yes, I've got, can I not just press control P?

00:48:06 Squirrell
No, that would print it, mate.

00:48:07 Squirrell
That's no good for me.

00:48:09 Mummy Squirrell
So what am I doing?

00:48:10 Squirrell
You remember when I said press print screen?

00:48:12 Squirrell
Look for that.

00:48:14 Mummy Squirrell
Oh, yes.

00:48:14 Mummy Squirrell
At the top.

00:48:14 Squirrell
Oh, yes.

00:48:15 Mummy Squirrell
I see it.

00:48:16 Squirrell
Okay.

00:48:16 Squirrell
Press it.

00:48:17 Squirrell
Press it.

00:48:17 Squirrell
Yep.

00:48:18 Squirrell
Nothing will happen.

00:48:18 Squirrell
Send me an e-mail.

00:48:19 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:48:20 Squirrell
Send me an e-mail.

00:48:21 Squirrell
Yes.

00:48:22 Mummy Squirrell
Hang on.

00:48:22 Mummy Squirrell
I've got to get on my e-mail page.

00:48:24 Squirrell
Good.

00:48:24 Mummy Squirrell
Yeah.

00:48:25 Mummy Squirrell
That's the start, isn't it?

00:48:26 Squirrell
Hang on.

00:48:27 Mummy Squirrell
Downloading.

00:48:28 Mummy Squirrell
Okay.

00:48:28 Mummy Squirrell
A new mail to Mac.

00:48:30 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:48:31 Mummy Squirrell
Okay.

00:48:32 Mummy Squirrell
Yes.

00:48:32 Mummy Squirrell
That's what I just.

00:48:34 Squirrell
All right.

00:48:35 Squirrell
We'll bleep that bit.

00:48:36 Squirrell
You're live on a podcast right now, Mother, by the way.

00:48:38 Squirrell
Say hello to all the fans.

00:48:40 Mummy Squirrell
Hello, fans.

00:48:41 Squirrell
There we go good work all right okay so click in the bit of the e-mail where you do the writing so where you would type dear favorite son okay yes I'm there all right hold down the control key and press V on your keyboard.

00:48:57 Mummy Squirrell
Ctrl C V yeah okay.

00:49:01 Squirrell
All right now send okay I'm.

00:49:03 Mummy Squirrell
Very excited okay thank you very much no worries thank you bye bye enjoy this podcast bye

00:49:10 Mummy Squirrell
You.

00:49:12 Squirrell
Didn't know what a podcast is?

00:49:14 Squirrell
Right.

00:49:15 Squirrell
**** me.

00:49:16 Hurst
Oh, that's good fun.

00:49:16 Hurst
It's just nice to know that all parents are the same.

00:49:20 Squirrell
I'll wait for that e-mail to come in.

00:49:22 Squirrell
What the **** were we talking about before?

00:49:24 Hurst
We were going to probably flip the coin of destiny.

00:49:26 Hurst
I would have thought.

00:49:30 Hurst
My number floor.

00:49:36 Squirrell
But ironically, it was one of our shorter episodes.

00:49:38 Squirrell
That's not as short as this bus is going to be because it is so hot in my office.

00:49:43 Squirrell
Yeah, I might just be like burger.

00:49:49 Hurst
Well, I was bristling like a proper brit the whole time.

00:49:52 Hurst
Every time I absolutely ludicrous how much?

00:49:58 Hurst
So yeah, that bit my ****.

00:50:02 Squirrell
Season of Hearst, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, especially the expended edition.

00:50:06 Squirrell
******* I was hard to say.

00:50:09 Squirrell
Quick side note, I've got no ******* e-mail from my mum.

00:50:12 Hurst
She's probably tapping it out one thing at a time.

00:50:18 Squirrell
She doesn't have to do anything else.

00:50:20 Squirrell
She's just trying to send.

00:50:21 Squirrell
**** sake anyway.

00:50:22 Squirrell
Keep going.

00:50:26 Hurst
Wow.

00:50:26 Squirrell
Goodness.

00:50:27 Hurst
I find that fact really difficult to digest.

00:50:31 Squirrell
Much like a McDonald's, it's Filet-O-Fest.

00:50:44 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night, Patreons.

00:50:48 Hurst
Welcome back.

00:50:49 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night, Rankers.

00:50:52 Hurst
Welcome back.

00:50:56 Squirrell
And then it's up to you, the ranker at home, to go to our website, top5facelf.co.uk.

00:50:59 Squirrell
It's all ages about reading.

00:51:07 Squirrell
All right, pressing the stop button.

00:51:08 Squirrell
Oh wait, just before I do, what are we, an hour after my mother rang me now?

00:51:13 Squirrell
Let me just, let me check, I can get facts about that.

00:51:16 Squirrell
Um, no e-mail, nothing left.

00:51:19 Hurst
Okay then, well done, Mama Squirrel.

00:51:22 Squirrell
Uh-huh, yep, computers, uh, brilliant.

00:51:26 Speaker 4
Top Five Face Off.