S02E19: Movies over three hours

Transcript

00:00:00 Squirrell
Is the Savoy in Worksop any good?

00:00:01 Hurst
Yeah, it's lovely.

00:00:02 Squirrell
Well, that's a good thing.

00:00:03 Squirrell
I have been in touch with your wife first and I have free tickets on Sunday to the Savoy and Workshop and we are going to see Top Gun and Top Gun Maverick.

00:00:14 Hurst
You guys are such legends.

00:00:16 Harriet
Top Five face-off contains adult themes and language that some people may find offensive.

00:00:21 Harriet
Listener discretion is advised.

00:00:24 Squirrell
He's Mat Hurst.

00:00:25 Hurst
He's Matt Squirrell.

00:00:26 Squirrell
And this is Top Five Face-off, the official world rankings of everything.

00:00:29 Squirrell
What are we ranking today, Hurst?

00:00:31 Hurst
Well, Squirrel, today we're going to be ranking films that are over 3 hours.

00:00:36 Hurst
Three ******* hours.

00:00:39 Squirrell
It's coming right up after this.

00:00:41 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than one, then there's a best and a worst.

00:00:45 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than five, call Squirrel and Hurst.

00:00:49 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the top five face-off.

00:00:51 Robo-Katy Perry
Actual facts.

00:00:53 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the Top Five Face Off.

00:01:04 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, or good night, rankers.

00:01:08 Hurst
Welcome back to the show.

00:01:09 Hurst
And if this is your first time, welcome to the show.

00:01:12 Squirrell
Hello.

00:01:12 Hurst
Squirrel, for our new rankers, why don't you tell them what we do here?

00:01:16 Hurst
And most importantly,

00:01:18 Hurst
why we do it?

00:01:19 Squirrell
Hello new rankers, this is Top Five Face-Off, the official world rankings of everything.

00:01:24 Squirrell
Each episode we have a random subject suggested to us by our Patreons and we rank the top five and the worst in that subject.

00:01:31 Squirrell
And then you, the ranker at home, visit our website topfivefaceoff.co.uk and vote on which of us is correct.

00:01:38 Squirrell
Because one of us is always correct.

00:01:40 Hurst
Yeah, good stuff.

00:01:41 Hurst
But we don't like to get straight to the point because we are frankfully British.

00:01:44 Hurst
So what's been going on?

00:01:45 Squirrell
What's been going on is it's kind of a mixture of what's been going on, what's making me feel old, Hearst, because they both kind of end up being the same thing.

00:01:54 Squirrell
So what's making me feel old is that I believe the very day you hear this, Rankers, so on the Wednesday it comes out, Top Gun will be 40 years old.

00:02:04 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:02:05 Squirrell
But that leads into what's been going on because at many cinemas around the world, they are re-showing Top Gun in the cinema.

00:02:13 Squirrell
And in fact, I did check, they're doing it at the Savoy and Worksop Hurst.

00:02:17 Hurst
Are they really?

00:02:18 Squirrell
And on Sunday, a lot of them are doing back-to-backs with Top Gun Maverick, including the Savoy and Worksop Hurst.

00:02:25 Hurst
Oh, **** me, dad.

00:02:27 Squirrell
There you go.

00:02:28 Squirrell
Is the Savoy and Worksop any good?

00:02:30 Hurst
Yeah, it's lovely.

00:02:31 Squirrell
Well, that's a good thing.

00:02:32 Squirrell
I have been in touch with your wife Hurst and I have free tickets on Sunday to the Savoy Works up and we're going to see Top Gun and Top Gun Maverick.

00:02:43 Hurst
Oh, you guys are such legends.

00:02:45 Squirrell
Yeah, boy.

00:02:46 Squirrell
So that's what's going on.

00:02:47 Squirrell
I'm coming to your house and we're going to get some speed, Hurst, because I'm in the need.

00:02:53 Hurst
Wow, that is that's outstanding.

00:02:55 Hurst
That's a live reveal.

00:02:58 Hurst
Yes, Oh, that's new stuff for us.

00:03:01 Hurst
I like that.

00:03:02 Squirrell
There you go.

00:03:02 Hurst
You sneaky ******** because I was just thinking, yeah, we're definitely going to that.

00:03:06 Hurst
Cardi will be on board.

00:03:07 Hurst
She'll be on board.

00:03:08 Hurst
And then it doesn't matter, because she's really...

00:03:11 Squirrell
I know this.

00:03:12 Hurst
Shenanigized.

00:03:13 Squirrell
You have been shenanigized all over the place.

00:03:16 Hurst
Is it shenanigated?

00:03:18 Squirrell
I am unsure.

00:03:20 Hurst
Interesting.

00:03:21 Hurst
Oh, that's fantastic stuff.

00:03:22 Squirrell
Yes.

00:03:23 Hurst
Done you.

00:03:23 Squirrell
But what's been going on your end, Hurst?

00:03:25 Squirrell
Oh, I know what's been going on.

00:03:27 Squirrell
Tell us about it.

00:03:27 Hurst
Well, I have my open studio that I've mentioned on air a while ago.

00:03:32 Hurst
And also one of many excuses for me still not having completed the Patreon editing is that I would finish work, go straight to my studio and work there for an hour or two to try and get it ready for this open day, which in itself, it was okay.

00:03:47 Hurst
I had a few people drop in.

00:03:48 Hurst
But at the same time, it was flipping awesome.

00:03:51 Hurst
because number one's Jazzy and Kovach came from flipping miles away with their other halves and loyal rankers Jones and Julie.

00:04:01 Hurst
I knew that Kovach was coming because he'd said it on the Facebooks and I was looking at it again.

00:04:07 Hurst
That's awesome because you live like 2 hours away.

00:04:10 Hurst
And yeah.

00:04:11 Hurst
Sure enough, they turned up.

00:04:13 Hurst
And then about an hour after they turned up, Jazzy and Jones.

00:04:17 Hurst
So it was just absolutely lovely seeing them.

00:04:20 Hurst
And because Kavach and Judy turned up at the right time, when my parents had arrived for a picnic lunch, they got to sample some of the delights of Vintage Bakery in Redford, because we had.

00:04:31 Squirrell
Yes, we discussed them last time.

00:04:32 Hurst
Yeah.

00:04:33 Hurst
And then when we finished at 4:00, we all went out for drinks, which was lovely.

00:04:37 Hurst
Perfect.

00:04:37 Hurst
So many thanks to

00:04:40 Hurst
Jazzy, Kovacs, Jones, Julie for coming along to see me in my little studio.

00:04:45 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:04:46 Hurst
I had a quit getting old, but I'm going to share with everyone.

00:04:48 Hurst
Go back into Facebook.

00:04:50 Hurst
Look at your oldest profile picture and...

00:04:53 Squirrell
Oh ****.

00:04:56 Hurst
That's my advice for all the actors if you want to feel old, unless you're a young listener and it isn't like 20 years since you joined up on Facebook.

00:05:03 Squirrell
It's been a minute since I did Facebook.

00:05:05 Squirrell
How do I do that?

00:05:06 Squirrell
Do I click on...

00:05:07 Squirrell
he went, whoa.

00:05:11 Squirrell
Where's the rest of my beard?

00:05:14 Hurst
It's a tough one.

00:05:15 Hurst
I'll see if I can send you out.

00:05:17 Hurst
Actually, no, you can see mine anyway.

00:05:19 Hurst
Anyway, so that was what was making me feel old.

00:05:21 Hurst
I thought I'd have a little nostalgia thing, see what things used to be.

00:05:25 Hurst
And then I looked back and back and back and thought, oh, *** ****.

00:05:27 Hurst
And aside from unnecessarily long films, has anything been gripping your ****?

00:05:32 Squirrell
Yes.

00:05:33 Squirrell
So this was, when did this happen?

00:05:36 Squirrell
I don't know, three or four days ago.

00:05:38 Squirrell
It was fairly late at night.

00:05:39 Squirrell
Not late, late, but like 9.

00:05:41 Squirrell
And I decided I needed some energy drink power up.

00:05:44 Squirrell
So I stopped at Tesco Express and all of their self-service tills were out.

00:05:48 Squirrell
So I'm in the queue behind two people.

00:05:49 Squirrell
No problem, two people.

00:05:51 Squirrell
Both of them had just fistfuls of scratch cards.

00:05:55 Squirrell
And then you're like, all right, they're just going to kind of cash them in.

00:05:57 Squirrell
Lovely.

00:05:58 Squirrell
Nah, they're like, can you check these, please, mate?

00:06:01 Squirrell
They hadn't won anything.

00:06:04 Squirrell
It's like you scratch the things off and it tells you if you've won and then you take them in and you get your money.

00:06:09 Squirrell
You don't just round them over so they do just a bib every single one and it goes err, err, err every time they don't win money.

00:06:16 Squirrell
******* hell, that ****** me off right much.

00:06:19 Hurst
Absolute ***** but I'm also glad that they didn't win any money.

00:06:23 Hurst
That would've annoyed me too.

00:06:24 Squirrell
It did, it annoyed me.

00:06:26 Squirrell
Has anything annoyed you Hurst?

00:06:28 Hurst
A few things.

00:06:30 Hurst
First of all, I've seen this a couple of times now.

00:06:32 Hurst
This is a headline grabbing clickbait thing that newspapers often not the nationals, but the local ones.

00:06:40 Hurst
And then you're scrolling down.

00:06:42 Hurst
So the snooker world championships was last week and a young Chinese chap called Wu Yizi.

00:06:48 Hurst
Won, yes, the tournament and 500,000 pounds in prize money, so good for him.

00:06:54 Hurst
Yep, following day, the headline: Wu Yizi immediately loses 200 and twenty-five K.

00:06:59 Hurst
after winning world championships.

00:07:02 Hurst
No.

00:07:02 Squirrell
Do you have to pay tax or something?

00:07:04 Hurst
That's exactly what WooYas are does.

00:07:05 Hurst
WooYas are like everyone else in this country has to pay taxes.

00:07:08 Hurst
That's your headline.

00:07:09 Squirrell
Yes.

00:07:10 Hurst
Shut up.

00:07:11 Hurst
Really annoys me.

00:07:12 Hurst
And the other thing that has affected me recently, you know, petrol prices and diesel prices, that has all gone skyrocketing because of that orange **** *** in America, bombing Iran.

00:07:23 Hurst
How come?

00:07:24 Hurst
Petrol is allowed to use decimals of a penny.

00:07:27 Hurst
Why is that allowed?

00:07:28 Hurst
Why is no one else allowed?

00:07:29 Hurst
It's 189.9 pence.

00:07:32 Hurst
Why is it okay for them to do 0.9 pence?

00:07:35 Hurst
Like 1 pound 99.

00:07:37 Hurst
Yeah, that's been a thing for ages.

00:07:38 Hurst
Psychologically, you're looking at it and you're going, well, it's under 2 pounds.

00:07:41 Hurst
That should not be allowed to translate into pennies.

00:07:44 Hurst
Otherwise, why can't shops do the same thing?

00:07:48 Hurst
Why can't shops go ninety-nine.9 pence?

00:07:50 Squirrell
I suppose they could if they wanted.

00:07:52 Squirrell
There's nothing stopping them, but does it round down?

00:07:54 Squirrell
That's what I'm wondering now.

00:07:56 Squirrell
Like, if you put one fifty-five.9 pence worth of petrol in your car, does it charge you 100 and fifty-five pence?

00:08:03 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:08:03 Hurst
And we've all just blindly not asked the question.

00:08:07 Hurst
That's what we're here for, Squirrel, aside from rankings.

00:08:09 Hurst
We're asking the hard questions.

00:08:11 Squirrell
**** I didn't realise that's what we were here for.

00:08:14 Squirrell
I thought we ranked.

00:08:14 Hurst
As of just a minute ago, we're here to ask the hard questions.

00:08:18 Hurst
But that might also dry up soon.

00:08:19 Hurst
We might stop asking hard questions.

00:08:21 Squirrell
And that's one of them, is it?

00:08:23 Squirrell
That's a hard question in your head.

00:08:26 Hurst
Yeah, because no one knows the answer.

00:08:28 Hurst
And also, **** *** with it, because we are all saying, oh, the one at Asda, that's 186, when actually it's 187.

00:08:35 Hurst
But when you're comparing the prices, you have to explain what the last viable number is, because they all end in that.9.

00:08:42 Hurst
So they're getting away with it.

00:08:43 Hurst
They're making me say, yeah, the petrol at Asda is 186, whereas the one down at Esso is 185, but it's not.

00:08:49 Hurst
It's 187 and 186.

00:08:51 Squirrell
Now you're saying no one knows the answer.

00:08:53 Squirrell
Have you done any research into this at all?

00:08:55 Squirrell
Do you mean?

00:08:56 Squirrell
Me and you don't know the answer.

00:08:58 Hurst
Dude, this is why we have the Malcolms.

00:08:59 Squirrell
Right, Come on, Malcs.

00:09:01 Squirrell
Off you go.

00:09:02 Hurst
Goodness, I was doing my own research.

00:09:04 Hurst
I was too busy watching ludicrously old films.

00:09:08 Squirrell
Oh my God.

00:09:10 Squirrell
Yes.

00:09:10 Hurst
For someone with ADHD who's got about 45 minutes of concentration at any given minute, that's 4 sittings per film and best case.

00:09:19 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:09:19 Squirrell
Well, we'll find out.

00:09:20 Squirrell
Let's not spoil the rankers with what's coming up in our lists.

00:09:25 Squirrell
Now in the last episode at Hurst, we said we didn't know who had suggested 3 hour long films and they got in touch through the e-mail, hello at top5famestars.co.uk.

00:09:32 Squirrell
It was Katie Hurst.

00:09:34 Hurst
Katie.

00:09:35 Squirrell
Katie deliberately to wind you up, apparently.

00:09:37 Hurst
Next time I'm in Tadley, there might be some egging or TPing.

00:09:42 Hurst
You watch out.

00:09:44 Hurst
Right, yes, let's get onto the business of what happened last week.

00:09:47 Hurst
Did people accept your chick flick Titanic or were they fuming?

00:09:52 Squirrell
Let's have a look at some comments.

00:09:55 Squirrell
In fact, the very first comment speaks to this as, and it's from our friend Meg 98.

00:10:01 Hurst
No way, Meg.

00:10:02 Hurst
Meg 98 was first.

00:10:03 Squirrell
Yeah, I know, Meg is first, right?

00:10:05 Squirrell
Imagine.

00:10:06 Squirrell
And it says, I'm in a rush.

00:10:08 Squirrell
Titanic equals CF, Meg 98.

00:10:10 Squirrell
So I think that means Chick flick.

00:10:13 Squirrell
Shut up, Meg.

00:10:13 Squirrell
And she voted for me.

00:10:14 Squirrell
Kov says, I have watched more of this list, Ghost and Dirty Dancing.

00:10:20 Squirrell
Thanks.

00:10:21 Squirrell
There you go.

00:10:21 Squirrell
So he votes for you, Hearst.

00:10:22 Hurst
He also told me that Titanic isn't a chuplet.

00:10:25 Squirrell
That feels like hearsay, Hearst, and would not be accepted in a court of law.

00:10:30 Hurst
No, but I did hear him say it.

00:10:31 Squirrell
Right, yes, that's literally the way it is.

00:10:34 Squirrell
So it's definitely hearsay.

00:10:37 Squirrell
Ohio here, says Ohio.

00:10:37 Squirrell
Now, if you remember, Hearst, we gave Ohio some homework.

00:10:40 Hurst
Oh, yes.

00:10:41 Squirrell
Because we wanted to know about various different things.

00:10:43 Squirrell
Ohio says, I'm afraid I know precious little about either acapella competitions or baseball.

00:10:49 Squirrell
Sorry.

00:10:50 Squirrell
I do know that A League of Their Own is a banger, though.

00:10:53 Squirrell
And he votes for me.

00:10:53 Squirrell
Thanks, Ahio.

00:10:54 Squirrell
Or she.

00:10:55 Squirrell
Or she votes for me, yeah.

00:10:57 Squirrell
Ahio, just tell us.

00:11:00 Squirrell
'Cause I'll be doing this every episode.

00:11:01 Squirrell
Another vote for me.

00:11:03 Squirrell
Pitch Perfect 2, question mark.

00:11:05 Squirrell
WTF, exclamation point.

00:11:07 Squirrell
Season of Hearst, question mark.

00:11:09 Squirrell
Season of the worst, am I right?

00:11:11 Squirrell
Also, Titanic is absolutely a chick flick, says Trooper.

00:11:15 Squirrell
Now, this is interesting.

00:11:17 Squirrell
How long is Trooper's goodwill gonna last for buying a painting off you?

00:11:21 Hurst
I don't know, I mean, he hasn't actually called me out on anything yet, so I'm, you know, the goodwill's still there.

00:11:27 Hurst
I'm not gonna break the truce.

00:11:29 Squirrell
Oh God, it's never...

00:11:30 Squirrell
Do you remember the last time we had somebody just list out the...

00:11:35 Squirrell
It was Carly.

00:11:38 Squirrell
was it Carly doing the lyrics to Duct Tanyan?

00:11:40 Hurst
Yeah.

00:11:41 Squirrell
Has Carly this episode done the lyrics to the song from A League of Their Own?

00:11:47 Hurst
I have no idea.

00:11:48 Squirrell
Because someone has.

00:11:49 Hurst
I only find these things out afterwards.

00:11:51 Squirrell
Yes, so someone's just done the whole batter up, hear that call song and that's it.

00:11:56 Squirrell
No name, just votes for me and it's just the words from batter up, hear the call, the time has come for one and all to play ball.

00:12:04 Squirrell
Could be, could be.

00:12:06 Squirrell
All right.

00:12:08 Squirrell
Now this is an interesting one, Hurst.

00:12:10 Squirrell
It's a vote for you.

00:12:11 Squirrell
It says, did you miss me?

00:12:13 Squirrell
I don't think so, but I have not listened for about 6 weeks for some reason.

00:12:17 Squirrell
Anyway, this came down to if Ghost and Dirty Dancing are better than Titanic, and I decided yes, just about they are.

00:12:24 Squirrell
Now to go and listen to the episodes I missed.

00:12:27 Squirrell
Did you miss this person, Hurst?

00:12:30 Hurst
Yes, I did.

00:12:31 Squirrell
Okay, good.

00:12:32 Squirrell
I mean, I don't know if I did because they didn't think to put their name on it.

00:12:38 Hurst
So I answered wisely.

00:12:39 Hurst
It's like, did I miss this person?

00:12:41 Hurst
Yes, yes, I did.

00:12:42 Hurst
I miss any listeners who are listening for a bit.

00:12:45 Hurst
I feel slightly incomplete.

00:12:47 Squirrell
Here's another vote for you, Hurst.

00:12:48 Squirrell
I'll be honest, I haven't watched a single one of these films, so take my vote with a pinch of salt.

00:12:54 Squirrell
Not a single one of the 10 films.

00:12:56 Squirrell
Nine in total, I guess.

00:12:58 Squirrell
That's impressive.

00:13:01 Squirrell
That said, it is the season of Hurst and my mission must continue.

00:13:05 Squirrell
So take a vote for Hurst from the Vision.

00:13:09 Squirrell
Thanks, the Vision.

00:13:10 Hurst
How have you not seen Titanic?

00:13:12 Hurst
How have you not seen Pitch Perfect?

00:13:14 Squirrell
It's so good.

00:13:15 Hurst
The votes will tell us in a minute.

00:13:16 Hurst
It is still one of the all-time great movies.

00:13:19 Squirrell
And Ghost and Dirty Dancing.

00:13:21 Squirrell
I didn't even realise there were people that existed that hadn't seen one of them at least.

00:13:24 Hurst
We hadn't seen Dirty Dancing until about five years ago when we started doing Classic Sundays and we started looking at things.

00:13:31 Hurst
that I hadn't seen that probably should have done.

00:13:33 Squirrell
Well, there we are.

00:13:34 Squirrell
Okay, here comes a comment from me.

00:13:36 Squirrell
It feels pretty even so far in the whole commenting front, but I'm not a huge fan of Titanic, but I do think it fits into the definition of chick flick.

00:13:45 Squirrell
I really want Dirty Dancing to be on the list, but Pitch Perfect 2 cannot be known as superior to the original.

00:13:52 Squirrell
Anonymous.

00:13:53 Squirrell
Thanks, Anonymous.

00:13:54 Squirrell
Here comes one for you, Hurst.

00:13:56 Squirrell
How did Legally Blonde not get onto either of your lists?

00:13:59 Squirrell
Unjust.

00:14:00 Squirrell
That is the best chick movie.

00:14:02 Squirrell
Disappointed.

00:14:03 Squirrell
So I have had to vote for Hurst as I know him and I don't know you, Squirrel.

00:14:07 Squirrell
What the **** is this?

00:14:09 Squirrell
That's from Anora.

00:14:10 Squirrell
Thanks, Anora.

00:14:11 Hurst
Thanks, Anora.

00:14:12 Squirrell
Democrats seem to be forgetting that this is a valuable service they're providing to the entire world.

00:14:18 Hurst
Future generations are relying on this information, but I suppose if you haven't seen them,

00:14:23 Hurst
I mean, we still want you to vote, so we're pretty much contradicting ourselves here.

00:14:27 Squirrell
Well, if you haven't seen them, put the work in, Rankers.

00:14:29 Squirrell
Get watching.

00:14:30 Squirrell
All of our top fives, in anything we do, are absolutely worthy of your time, because they're always going to be good, at least.

00:14:38 Squirrell
Hurst all the way.

00:14:40 Squirrell
Most of Squirrel's lists were not chick flicks.

00:14:42 Squirrell
Fact, most of my list.

00:14:45 Squirrell
That means three out of the five were not chick flicks.

00:14:49 Hurst
I wonder which was?

00:14:49 Squirrell
I mean, I'll accept there's an argument with Titanic.

00:14:52 Hurst
League of Their Own was pretty epic.

00:14:54 Hurst
Like it was a good film just for anyone.

00:14:58 Hurst
But the female is and Titanic's still not a chick flick.

00:15:02 Hurst
But the others were.

00:15:03 Squirrell
That one's from anonymous.

00:15:05 Squirrell
You know, can't argue with someone who if we don't know who it is.

00:15:08 Squirrell
Well, I can, if they're wrong.

00:15:09 Hurst
Oh, we'll find out in a minute.

00:15:12 Squirrell
We will.

00:15:13 Squirrell
And finally, as Dad Pats, he says, Hmm, another tough one.

00:15:18 Squirrell
If you think of a chick flick as a film designed for a primarily female audience, you guys have left some glare and gaps.

00:15:25 Squirrell
No Bridget Jones.

00:15:26 Squirrell
No The Holiday.

00:15:27 Squirrell
No Pretty Woman.

00:15:28 Squirrell
Now Pretty Woman was probably my number six, to be fair.

00:15:31 Squirrell
My vote goes to Squirrel this week for reminding me about Easy A, a bonafide hidden gem of a movie.

00:15:37 Squirrell
And although Pitch Perfect 2 is probably funnier than one, the first is a better chick flick.

00:15:42 Squirrell
These were the thoughts of Davpaz, says Davpaz.

00:15:46 Squirrell
Thank you, Davpaz.

00:15:47 Squirrell
That is all of our comments.

00:15:49 Squirrell
Hurst, are you ready for the results?

00:15:50 Hurst
Yeah, I think you probably got about 60% of the vote.

00:15:55 Squirrell
Oh, I don't have that calculation at hand, Hurst, but I'm pretty sure you are wrong.

00:15:59 Squirrell
You got 28.

00:16:01 Squirrell
I got 29.

00:16:04 Hurst
That is close.

00:16:06 Hurst
And the funny thing is I almost voted on mine yesterday just because I wanted to see what the voting looked like, but I thought, but I can't mess up the integrity of the voting system.

00:16:14 Hurst
So.

00:16:14 Squirrell
Well, if you had it done, it would have been a draw this time.

00:16:16 Squirrell
So yeah.

00:16:18 Hurst
Which would have messed up the integrity because AI would have had to choose.

00:16:23 Squirrell
Who knows what it would have been?

00:16:25 Hurst
Okay, well, fair enough.

00:16:26 Hurst
Congratulations on another win.

00:16:28 Squirrell
Yes, and here we go.

00:16:29 Squirrell
Here comes the top five chick flicks of all time.

00:16:36 Squirrell
At #5, Easy A.

00:16:39 Squirrell
A hidden gem, says Dan Paz.

00:16:42 Squirrell
At #4, Some Kind of Wonderful.

00:16:44 Squirrell
No one mentioned it because no one's seen it.

00:16:45 Squirrell
Go watch it.

00:16:47 Squirrell
At #3, A League of Their Own.

00:16:50 Squirrell
The only thing Ohio knows about baseball.

00:16:53 Squirrell
At #2, Pitch Perfect, officially better than Pitch Perfect 2.

00:16:57 Squirrell
And at #1, the best chick flick of all time, Titanic.

00:17:09 Squirrell
There we are.

00:17:10 Hurst
Can't argue with the facts.

00:17:11 Hurst
The facts are exact.

00:17:12 Squirrell
The facts are exact.

00:17:14 Squirrell
Put that out of your head, Hurst.

00:17:16 Squirrell
Put those nice short movies that are easy to watch in one sitting out of your head and let's crack on with the top five free hour plus movies.

00:17:28 Hurst
Let's do it.

00:17:32 Squirrell
How are we going to decide who goes first today, Hurst?

00:17:36 Hurst
I would suggest that we flip the coin of destiny.

00:17:39 Squirrell
Let's see where it goes today.

00:17:40 Squirrell
I call it.

00:17:43 Squirrell
It's Heads for Hurst.

00:17:44 Hurst
Heads for Hurst.

00:17:46 Hurst
Okie dokie.

00:17:47 Hurst
Well, Rankers, as I have had to endure many hours of movies, and they are such long movies, I've decided that I will do my synopsis of each one in one sentence.

00:17:59 Squirrell
All right.

00:17:59 Hurst
And from that sentence, we will tell you what my selection is at #5.

00:18:06 Hurst
A magical healing giant gets executed for being different.

00:18:09 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:18:12 Squirrell
I immediately don't know what this is.

00:18:14 Squirrell
A magical healing giant gets executed for being different.

00:18:18 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:18:19 Hurst
Here at #5 is the Green Mile.

00:18:23 Squirrell
Oh, do you know, I haven't seen it?

00:18:26 Hurst
Wow, after this week.

00:18:28 Hurst
I am surprised.

00:18:29 Hurst
It's magic.

00:18:30 Squirrell
I thought it was a jail film.

00:18:32 Squirrell
Anyway, get around.

00:18:33 Hurst
It is, but spoilers alert, he has magical healing powers and does get executed.

00:18:39 Hurst
But it is a prison movie on death row, so that's not as big of a spoiler.

00:18:43 Hurst
So 1999, 3 hours and 9 minutes, starring Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke, Duncan as John Coffey, the magical giant, and a few other

00:18:56 Hurst
known faces, but those are the two main stars of the film.

00:19:00 Hurst
It is, yeah, I'm not going to tell you what it's about.

00:19:03 Hurst
All you get is my synopsis.

00:19:05 Hurst
I had to watch it, so screw you guys.

00:19:07 Hurst
It's really good.

00:19:09 Squirrell
There we go.

00:19:10 Squirrell
All right.

00:19:10 Squirrell
Oh, my number five Hurst.

00:19:14 Squirrell
I don't have a one sentence synopsis for you to guess at, but it is Lord of the Rings, the Two Towers, brackets, extended edition, closed brackets, because

00:19:25 Squirrell
The actual theoretical cut is one minute shy of three hours, but don't worry, the extended cut is around about two and a half hours, depending on which version you watch.

00:19:34 Hurst
Three and a half hours, presumably.

00:19:36 Hurst
You said two and a half hours, because that would still be cheating.

00:19:38 Squirrell
Oh, sorry, 230 minutes is what I meant.

00:19:41 Hurst
That's a very different thing.

00:19:42 Squirrell
Yes, it's a very different number.

00:19:44 Squirrell
It's directed by Peter Jackson.

00:19:46 Squirrell
It was released in 2002.

00:19:47 Squirrell
Cast includes Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortison, Sean Astin, Andy Serkis, Andy Serkis.

00:19:55 Squirrell
Orlando Bloom, Christopher Lee and many, many others.

00:19:59 Squirrell
They made it for around 94 million.

00:20:02 Squirrell
Box office brought in $944 million.

00:20:06 Squirrell
Ka-ching.

00:20:08 Squirrell
You got 6 Oscar noms and it won best visual effects and best sound editing.

00:20:13 Squirrell
And obviously it's the second movie of the Lord of the Rings trilogy and it starts when the heroes have just split up and Frodo and Sam are being, you know, sad.

00:20:22 Squirrell
Merry and Pippin are doing tree politics.

00:20:23 Squirrell
Aragon and his buddies are doing cavalry heroics and somehow it all builds up to a big battle at Helm's Deep without feeling like three different films all mashed together.

00:20:33 Squirrell
Helm's Deep is your payoff for the whole rest of the film.

00:20:36 Squirrell
It's just a giant fight that you've been waiting for two hours.

00:20:39 Squirrell
It's absolutely brilliant.

00:20:40 Squirrell
Excellent stuff.

00:20:41 Squirrell
Number 5, Lord of the Rings, the Two Towers extended cut.

00:20:44 Hurst
Very good.

00:20:45 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:20:47 Hurst
Right, my #4, what film is this?

00:20:51 Hurst
Two ******* finally drop a ring in a volcano.

00:20:54 Squirrell
That is a Lord of the Rings Return of the King.

00:20:56 Hurst
That's absolutely right.

00:20:58 Hurst
2003's The Return of the King is actually 3 hours and 21 minutes without having to add any sneaky director's cuts or whatever.

00:21:05 Hurst
It's a good film.

00:21:07 Hurst
It stars most of the same people as just mentioned.

00:21:10 Hurst
Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortensen, Sir Ian McKellen, Ali Astin, Sean Astin.

00:21:17 Hurst
Good.

00:21:18 Hurst
It's good.

00:21:20 Hurst
Number 4, Lord of the Rings, Return of the King.

00:21:24 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:21:25 Squirrell
I have an app on my phone for this moment now, Hurst.

00:21:31 Hurst
Nice.

00:21:32 Squirrell
At #4, Lord of the Rings, the Return of the King.

00:21:36 Squirrell
It was directed by Peter Jackson in 2003, as you rightfully point out, Hearst, 200 minutes I've got on the dot when I looked it up.

00:21:43 Squirrell
Casting crews, casting crews, Elijah Wood, Elijah Wood, McKellen, McKellen, Mortis, Sean, Andy Circus, Eddie Circus, Lando Bloom, Christopher Lee, and many, many others.

00:21:55 Squirrell
Its budget was also 94 million and it grossed $1.1 billion.

00:22:00 Squirrell
Hearst, it broke the big B.

00:22:02 Squirrell
Goodness.

00:22:03 Squirrell
Nomed for 11 Oscars, it won all 11.

00:22:06 Squirrell
including Best Pitch of Best Director, and it tied the all-time Oscar wins record with Ben-Hur and the best chick flick of all time, Titanic.

00:22:14 Squirrell
So yeah, this is the third movie.

00:22:16 Squirrell
It gets to cash a lot of cheques that the other movies have written.

00:22:19 Squirrell
You've got Ministeria, you've got Shelob, you've got Lightning Beacons, and you've got, I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you.

00:22:27 Squirrell
And you've got Aragon finally becoming a king.

00:22:29 Squirrell
And you've got about 6 endings because

00:22:30 Squirrell
Frankly, everybody deserved their own ending.

00:22:33 Squirrell
It was the first fantasy film to win Best Picture, although there's certainly a feeling that this film kind of got Oscars as a group deal for the whole trilogy.

00:22:42 Squirrell
But anyway, officially already the fourth best three hour plus film is The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.

00:22:49 Hurst
You can start etching that one onto the trophy.

00:22:51 Hurst
You can, yeah.

00:22:52 Hurst
Brilliant.

00:22:53 Hurst
Number 4, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.

00:22:55 Hurst
Number 3, a bunch of bad losers invent time travel and win second time round.

00:23:01 Squirrell
Endgame?

00:23:02 Squirrell
Yep.

00:23:04 Hurst
Avengers Endgame, weighing in at just within the limit, three hours and one minute, 2019, starring just

00:23:12 Hurst
everyone ever.

00:23:14 Hurst
A great payoff to some 20-something movies.

00:23:17 Hurst
Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Buffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, John T.

00:23:22 Hurst
I mean, it goes on.

00:23:23 Hurst
There were so many big names in that film.

00:23:25 Hurst
I'm surprised that it made any money because just the amount of people they had to pay.

00:23:31 Hurst
It's true.

00:23:32 Hurst
Good film.

00:23:32 Hurst
You should watch it.

00:23:34 Squirrell
Is.

00:23:34 Squirrell
It is a good film.

00:23:35 Squirrell
I agree.

00:23:36 Hurst
Number 3, Avengers Endgame.

00:23:37 Squirrell
All right, excellent.

00:23:39 Squirrell
Number 3, for me.

00:23:41 Squirrell
It's Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring Extended Edition.

00:23:44 Squirrell
It was released in 2001, directed by someone called Peter Jackson Hurst.

00:23:49 Squirrell
Would you believe it?

00:23:50 Squirrell
is 178 minutes in the cinema, so 2 minutes under, but the extended edition also available in the cinema at some points.

00:23:58 Squirrell
228 minutes Hurst.

00:24:00 Squirrell
Cast includes Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortissen, Sean Astin, Andy Serkis, Andy Serkis.

00:24:07 Squirrell
Orlando Bloom, Christopher Lee, and many, many others.

00:24:12 Squirrell
The budget on this was $1 million less than the other two.

00:24:14 Squirrell
It was 93 million and it grossed 897 mil.

00:24:19 Hurst
He did a riot out of those, didn't he?

00:24:21 Squirrell
They got some pennies, didn't they?

00:24:22 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:24:24 Squirrell
Peter Jackson's probably quite happy.

00:24:26 Squirrell
It received 13 Oscar nominations, which is a lot, but it only won four.

00:24:30 Squirrell
So there we are.

00:24:31 Hurst
Because they knew the others were coming out.

00:24:33 Squirrell
Maybe they did.

00:24:34 Hurst
They can have Oscars later.

00:24:35 Hurst
We've got some other stuff to deal with this.

00:24:37 Squirrell
Especially when they saw the amount of money that was coming in.

00:24:39 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:24:40 Squirrell
It's my favorite.

00:24:41 Squirrell
It is the kind of best kind of all round of the three films.

00:24:44 Squirrell
I think it's a very nice setting off to adventure and it's very silly sounding like small man carries jewelry to volcano could be your one sentence sum up, but it shouldn't work at the scale it did.

00:24:57 Squirrell
And it was fantastic.

00:24:58 Squirrell
And the film commits so hard emotionally that you stop seeing how ******* ridiculous the entire thing actually is and start worrying about hobbits having enough snacks.

00:25:07 Squirrell
Frodo left home and within about 3 days, he's been stabbed, hunted, traumatized and signed up for the worst walking holiday in literary history.

00:25:16 Squirrell
Number 3, Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Rings, extended cut.

00:25:20 Squirrell
That's the last of the Lord of the Rings that we'll be talking about because I've done them all now.

00:25:23 Hurst
Yeah, it does all feel massively unnecessary given they got that lift back from the Eagles at the end, but it also seems like a **** **** **** from Gandalf.

00:25:32 Hurst
It's like, just man up and take the ring yourself.

00:25:36 Squirrell
All right, well, I can already look, don't write, don't write.

00:25:39 Squirrell
I know what you're going to say.

00:25:40 Squirrell
I don't write to us Rankers because I know why that couldn't work.

00:25:43 Squirrell
It's fine.

00:25:44 Squirrell
We don't need to be told.

00:25:45 Squirrell
Thanks for listening.

00:25:46 Squirrell
Carry on.

00:25:48 Hurst
It's one of my Sunday afternoon fall asleep films, any of the Lord of the Rings ones, because seen them enough times and I'm like, yeah, they are really good.

00:25:56 Hurst
They're great spectacles.

00:25:57 Hurst
Good to watch.

00:25:57 Squirrell
It's fantastic as well.

00:25:59 Squirrell
So that would be one more asleep.

00:26:00 Hurst
It's lovely.

00:26:02 Hurst
Anyway, so my number two,

00:26:05 Hurst
Paranoid mafia boss stays paranoid.

00:26:08 Squirrell
Godfather 2, presumably for staying paranoid.

00:26:12 Hurst
Correct, yes.

00:26:13 Hurst
I would love to have had the Godfather part one in there because it's so...

00:26:17 Hurst
******* good, but of course it's only two hours and 56 minutes long, so not within budget.

00:26:24 Hurst
Sadly I can do that, but actually The Godfather Part II is an incredibly good film, not just because it carries on being incredibly good, but it runs the dual stories at the same time with Michael Corleone's descent into deeper paranoia whilst also showing how Vito Corleone came about, how his story unfolded.

00:26:42 Hurst
So it was like 2 movies in one, which made it much more watchable for someone like me, doing two things at the same time.

00:26:48 Hurst
Watching the backstory and watching the story.

00:26:50 Hurst
It was ever so good.

00:26:51 Hurst
And Al Pacino and Robert De Niro in the same movie.

00:26:54 Squirrell
I love that.

00:26:55 Hurst
So yeah, it's good.

00:26:56 Hurst
Watch it.

00:26:57 Hurst
Number 2, Godfather Part 2.

00:26:58 Squirrell
All right.

00:26:59 Squirrell
I will watch it at some point.

00:27:03 Squirrell
I have not seen any of the Godfathers.

00:27:04 Squirrell
I'm terrible.

00:27:05 Squirrell
They are high on my list of films that I know I should have seen, but haven't.

00:27:09 Hurst
There's a lot of films like that.

00:27:11 Hurst
Oh, I should have seen that.

00:27:12 Hurst
And we'll talk about that in a minute.

00:27:14 Hurst
But

00:27:15 Hurst
The Godfather, you absolutely have to.

00:27:17 Hurst
You'll love it because it's just so good.

00:27:19 Squirrell
The first one and the second one, I've heard the third one is not good.

00:27:22 Hurst
That's, yeah.

00:27:23 Hurst
First and second one will do.

00:27:24 Squirrell
Cool.

00:27:24 Squirrell
So that was your #2?

00:27:26 Hurst
That's my #2.

00:27:28 Squirrell
Brilliant.

00:27:28 Squirrell
My #2 is a little low budget indie movie called Titanic.

00:27:34 Squirrell
Now, oh, surprising.

00:27:35 Squirrell
Yes, people probably thought this might end up at #1, as did.

00:27:38 Hurst
I.

00:27:38 Hurst
No, to be honest, I was expecting the Hobbit extended director's cut or something.

00:27:44 Squirrell
No, they're all ****.

00:27:45 Squirrell
Don't at me, Rankers, although I think most people do agree.

00:27:49 Squirrell
Titanic, obviously, written and directed by James Cameron, released in 97, 195 minutes long, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates, Frances Fisher, Gloria Stewart and Bill Paxton, Rip.

00:28:01 Squirrell
Budget was around $200 million, making it the most expensive film ever made at the time.

00:28:06 Squirrell
As you probably know, it has grossed around 2.26,

00:28:11 Squirrell
billion dollars.

00:28:12 Squirrell
That's a lot of money.

00:28:14 Squirrell
******* ka-ching.

00:28:15 Squirrell
James Cameron is just a money printing machine.

00:28:18 Squirrell
It received 14 Oscar noms.

00:28:20 Squirrell
It won 11, including best page to best director.

00:28:22 Squirrell
Of course it did.

00:28:23 Squirrell
It's also officially the best chick flick of all time.

00:28:27 Squirrell
Titanic.

00:28:28 Squirrell
Big boat, rich girl, poor boy, steam engines, priceless jewellery, love affair, Kate Winslet's **** iceberg, sinking, screaming, crying deaf, people not understanding about buoyancy, vandalism, when my heart will go on.

00:28:39 Squirrell
If you want to hear more about this,

00:28:41 Squirrell
Listen to the last episode where we talked about chick flicks, where I talk about Toys Alex and more, but it's ******* phenomenal.

00:28:47 Squirrell
It's just an incredible film.

00:28:48 Squirrell
It was obviously incredible, successful.

00:28:50 Squirrell
It stayed at number one in North America for 15 consecutive weeks, which is just deranged by modern standards.

00:28:56 Squirrell
These days a film gets called a smash if it survives 2 weekends without being eaten by Netflix's algorithms, right?

00:29:02 Squirrell
So 15 weeks is unreal.

00:29:05 Squirrell
And it's 3 hours and 15 minutes long, and somehow the bit everyone still remembers is old lady throws priceless jewellery into the

00:29:11 Squirrell
the sea.

00:29:12 Squirrell
Absolute menace behaviour on her part.

00:29:15 Squirrell
*** **** it, if you haven't seen Titanic, the vision, because you think it's too long or it's a chick flick and I don't like them, you have let yourself down.

00:29:24 Squirrell
Number 2, Titanic.

00:29:26 Squirrell
Oh, I could have done a joke about letting yourself down like the ship goes down or something.

00:29:30 Squirrell
Never mind.

00:29:32 Squirrell
Just pretend I did rankers and laugh out loud on the train or in the office or something, and then say, Oh, yes, girl made a good joke about Titanic, and they'll be like, What?

00:29:39 Squirrell
And he's like, Top face off, don't you listen?

00:29:41 Squirrell
And you're like, No, and then, Yeah, good, work.

00:29:43 Hurst
All right, OK.

00:29:45 Squirrell
The guy had a stroke in the middle of that, but never mind.

00:29:49 Squirrell
Oh, **** we already own worst.

00:29:55 Hurst
Zach Schneider takes a massive **** and makes everyone smell it for four hours and two minutes.

00:30:00 Squirrell
Jeff, this is so close to being my worst as well.

00:30:03 Squirrell
Utter *********.

00:30:04 Squirrell
It's like, oh, we used to Snyder cut.

00:30:07 Squirrell
We're going to pretend we like it because we argued for it so hard.

00:30:11 Squirrell
**** ***.

00:30:11 Hurst
****.

00:30:12 Hurst
Starring Ben Affleck, Galgado, Henry Cavillan, Jason Momoa.

00:30:16 Hurst
Here's the best bit.

00:30:17 Hurst
Haven't seen it, not going to, but it made Kovach swear really, really loud in a nice bar until everyone else stopped talking and just sat in silence.

00:30:32 Hurst
And it's four hours.

00:30:34 Hurst
**** that.

00:30:36 Hurst
Worst.

00:30:38 Squirrell
Fair enough.

00:30:39 Squirrell
I have seen parts of my worst one.

00:30:41 Squirrell
I haven't seen it all, but it doesn't matter too much because surely the worst film to sit down and watch is a film by Charlie Lynn or Line, depending on how it's pronounced.

00:30:50 Squirrell
It's called Paint Drying Hurst.

00:30:52 Hurst
Yeah.

00:30:52 Squirrell
It's 10 hours and 7 minutes long.

00:30:54 Hurst
I think you mentioned this last week, actually, when we were talking about Titanic.

00:30:58 Hurst
It came up.

00:30:59 Hurst
I don't know if it made the cut, but I remember telling about it.

00:31:01 Squirrell
It's a static shot of white paint drying on a wall.

00:31:04 Squirrell
It's just white bricks and they're dry.

00:31:07 Squirrell
and there's no plot, there's no cast.

00:31:08 Hurst
It was a big FU, wasn't it, to the film critics.

00:31:11 Squirrell
It was a big FU to the UK Film Classification Board rather than the critics.

00:31:16 Hurst
That's right, yeah.

00:31:16 Squirrell
And it was classified as a U, no material likely to offend or harm.

00:31:21 Squirrell
Now, honestly, if I was BBFC dude and I had to sit down and watch movies for a living, A, noise, although you'd have to watch all the **** as well.

00:31:30 Squirrell
But B, this feels like two days off.

00:31:32 Squirrell
Like, this is just like, put it on.

00:31:35 Squirrell
and, you know, get some **** done while I occasionally glance at the screen to make sure nothing's happened.

00:31:40 Squirrell
I don't know if he's inserted one frame of ******** **** like...

00:31:44 Squirrell
That's what I would have done.

00:31:49 Squirrell
But yeah, no, the worst film I'm surely to watch would be Paint Drying.

00:31:53 Squirrell
It's yeah, 10 hours, 7 minutes.

00:31:55 Hurst
Both valid, I think.

00:31:57 Hurst
It was immense to how angry Kovacs got.

00:32:00 Hurst
Just the mention of the Justice League.

00:32:04 Hurst
Never say anything to him about it.

00:32:06 Squirrell
Right, well, you know, immediately will be the first thing I talk about with him now, but there we are.

00:32:11 Squirrell
I'll tell him how much I liked it.

00:32:12 Squirrell
Don't listen to this car, because, well, it's too late now.

00:32:14 Squirrell
That's not going to work.

00:32:16 Squirrell
Cut that **** out.

00:32:17 Hurst
Right.

00:32:17 Hurst
You can edit.

00:32:18 Hurst
It's fine.

00:32:18 Squirrell
Enough about the worst Hearst.

00:32:19 Squirrell
Tell us about the first Hearst.

00:32:27 Hurst
At #1, a big boat sinks in the cold.

00:32:32 Squirrell
Is it the Iron Giant?

00:32:33 Hurst
Oh, no, it's not.

00:32:34 Hurst
It's not.

00:32:34 Hurst
I know, same storyline, same plot, but slightly different.

00:32:38 Hurst
No, of course, Titanic weighing in at three hours and 14 minutes.

00:32:41 Hurst
As I mentioned last week when I was watching Dirty Dancing in final prep for our recording, it just automatically went on to Titanic because that's what things like Amazon Prime do these days.

00:32:53 Hurst
And it was half an hour in before I was like, I've got to stop this.

00:32:56 Hurst
I've got things to do.

00:32:57 Hurst
It's that good of a film, but whatever part it's at, I will

00:33:01 Hurst
kind of get hypnotized by it.

00:33:03 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:33:03 Hurst
And end up watching it until I can manage to shake myself out of it or until the end happens.

00:33:08 Hurst
So in spite of having watched that first eight minutes, I was like, right, can I go and watch that now?

00:33:12 Hurst
What's the whole of Titanic?

00:33:14 Hurst
And *** **** it's so good.

00:33:16 Hurst
Leo, Kate, it's good.

00:33:17 Hurst
Watch it.

00:33:18 Squirrell
Yeah, completely agree.

00:33:20 Squirrell
It absolutely incredible film through and through.

00:33:24 Squirrell
Love Titanic.

00:33:26 Squirrell
Turns out don't love it as much as my number one has.

00:33:29 Hurst
Which we'll talk about in a minute.

00:33:30 Hurst
Do you want to hear a fact and an estimated fact?

00:33:32 Hurst
Sure.

00:33:35 Hurst
Okay, fact.

00:33:37 Hurst
Rose, Jack and Caladon, Cal, are actually the names of James Cameron's nieces and nephews and he had them written into the movie.

00:33:45 Hurst
Fact.

00:33:46 Hurst
The Titanic is actually based on a true story.

00:33:49 Hurst
The ship existed and sunk in 1917.

00:33:52 Squirrell
If it was a true story, I think we would have heard of it, right?

00:33:55 Squirrell
It was like a big disaster at the sea.

00:33:58 Hurst
There wasn't much press or news in those days.

00:34:00 Hurst
The only way you could hear about anything was through telegrams and Morse code.

00:34:04 Hurst
So you probably wouldn't have heard that.

00:34:07 Squirrell
You're right.

00:34:07 Squirrell
So maybe that's why I haven't heard it.

00:34:09 Squirrell
All right, yeah, I'm going to go with the second one then.

00:34:12 Squirrell
I think it was true.

00:34:13 Squirrell
We just didn't hear about it because, there weren't any cameras around to take pictures of the lovely Kate Windsor.

00:34:19 Hurst
You're absolutely right.

00:34:20 Hurst
Titanic is based on a true story.

00:34:22 Hurst
They said the ship was unsinkable, just like they did in the movie.

00:34:26 Hurst
And that's really what made it sink.

00:34:27 Hurst
Because, come on guys, even then you must have known about tempting fate and jinxing things.

00:34:32 Squirrell
Maybe that's when it was invented.

00:34:34 Hurst
Yeah.

00:34:35 Hurst
Anyway, well done.

00:34:36 Hurst
You got that one right.

00:34:37 Squirrell
Yes, nice.

00:34:39 Hurst
Now let's hear about your #1 scrum.

00:34:41 Squirrell
Yes, what a good time.

00:34:42 Squirrell
for me to talk about my number one, Hurst, which obviously has already been mentioned, and I suspect because I have discussed this one before.

00:34:49 Squirrell
It is Avengers Endgame, was my number one for post-apocalyptic movies.

00:34:55 Squirrell
Feels like a long time ago we discussed them, Hurst.

00:34:58 Hurst
Double down on your number ones.

00:35:00 Squirrell
Yes, indeed.

00:35:01 Squirrell
Endgame was directed by Anthony and Joe Russo.

00:35:04 Squirrell
It was released in 2019.

00:35:06 Squirrell
181 minutes, as Hurst said.

00:35:08 Squirrell
So it clears the three-hour bar by one heroic minute.

00:35:12 Squirrell
And the cast includes everyone with a Marvel parking pass.

00:35:15 Squirrell
I think it's that simple.

00:35:16 Squirrell
They just had everyone.

00:35:17 Squirrell
The budget was an eye-watering $375 million, probably because they had to pay everyone like you said.

00:35:24 Hurst
Because then they had 50 left over for special effects and stuff.

00:35:28 Squirrell
That's it, yeah.

00:35:30 Squirrell
But it had a worldwide box office of 2.8 billion, which is about the same as all three Lord of the Rings movies.

00:35:37 Squirrell
So that's mad.

00:35:38 Squirrell
That's a lot of cash.

00:35:41 Squirrell
It got one Oscar nomination for Best Visual Effects, which is ******* absurd, but the Academy seems to hate superhero movies if they're not using them as some kind of diversity statement or something.

00:35:50 Squirrell
And it's officially the second best post-apocalyptic movie or TV show ever.

00:35:54 Squirrell
It wasn't my favourite then, it was my second best, yes.

00:35:57 Squirrell
My favorite was Mad Max.

00:35:59 Squirrell
That's correct.

00:36:00 Hurst
Mad Max.

00:36:02 Squirrell
There you go.

00:36:03 Squirrell
Endgame is like a wedding reception.

00:36:05 Squirrell
It's really long.

00:36:06 Squirrell
My wife is asking me who everyone is, and everyone is pleased when the popular people turn up.

00:36:12 Squirrell
That's basically what I've decided.

00:36:14 Squirrell
And it's the payoff film.

00:36:16 Squirrell
It is the payoff film.

00:36:18 Squirrell
It's not just a big superhero film.

00:36:20 Squirrell
Audiences have done homework willingly for over a decade, and the emotional force comes from accumulated

00:36:27 Squirrell
investment of all that time.

00:36:29 Squirrell
You're not just watching Iron Man, Cap'n 4 do cool nonsense, although they ******* well do.

00:36:33 Squirrell
You're watching years of character acts being closed and...

00:36:37 Squirrell
rewarded or stabbed directly at the ******* feelings.

00:36:40 Squirrell
And this was the 23rd film in the MCU's Infinity Saga.

00:36:43 Squirrell
So it was basically a season finale if you think of a normal TV series.

00:36:48 Squirrell
For movies, structurally, it's weird.

00:36:50 Squirrell
You've got the first hour, which is just grief drama.

00:36:52 Squirrell
The middle is a time heist nostalgia tour.

00:36:54 Squirrell
And the final hour is like the biggest playground fight you've ever seen on film.

00:37:00 Squirrell
It should collapse under the weight of its own fan service.

00:37:02 Squirrell
It very much does not.

00:37:04 Squirrell
It totally and utterly

00:37:05 Squirrell
nails it.

00:37:06 Squirrell
People can be snobby about Marvel, but landing an ending on that scale is hard.

00:37:11 Squirrell
Like, plenty of franchises struggle to finish a single trilogy properly.

00:37:17 Squirrell
Godfather, for example.

00:37:18 Squirrell
Apparently not seen him.

00:37:19 Squirrell
This one wrapped a 22-fold run-up and made the audience cheer about a man picking up a hammer.

00:37:25 Squirrell
It's not subtle, it's not elegant, it's not remotely restrained, but when the portal's open, subtlety can get in the ******* sea.

00:37:33 Squirrell
Endgame, the best movie for three hours long and one of the best movies of all ******* time.

00:37:39 Hurst
Yeah, that's good, you should watch it.

00:37:40 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:37:40 Hurst
I mean, at least one of us is doing their bit towards making this a short episode, Yeah.

00:37:44 Squirrell
Yeah, sorry.

00:37:47 Squirrell
I start talking.

00:37:48 Squirrell
I don't stop.

00:37:48 Squirrell
Fact or estimate?

00:37:49 Squirrell
Fact time, Hurst, are you ready?

00:37:51 Hurst
Hit me.

00:37:51 Hurst
Hit me with your facts.

00:37:52 Squirrell
When Endgame passed Titanic's box office total, James Cameron sent a message to Kevin Feige, who was the producer of all the MCU movies, with a photo of the Avengers A being the iceberg that sinks the Titanic.

00:38:04 Hurst
Oh, nice.

00:38:06 Squirrell
Or fact.

00:38:07 Squirrell
Tom Cruise was originally going to play Iron Man, but Thomas collapsed due to disagreements over creative control.

00:38:12 Hurst
You know what?

00:38:13 Hurst
I think he was going to be Iron Man.

00:38:15 Hurst
He was us, but he also had other things going.

00:38:17 Hurst
He wasn't able to commit to the full run of all the movies, was he?

00:38:21 Hurst
Or was that someone else?

00:38:22 Hurst
I think it was him.

00:38:23 Hurst
I think that's right.

00:38:24 Squirrell
You are correct, Haz.

00:38:26 Squirrell
Tom Cruise was originally going to play Iron Man.

00:38:28 Squirrell
Various things led to that not happening, how much money he wanted.

00:38:31 Squirrell
And yeah, I think, like you said, he wouldn't sign on for

00:38:35 Squirrell
Well, 23 films.

00:38:38 Squirrell
Although I don't think any of them expected that to happen at the time.

00:38:41 Squirrell
Good work, Hearst.

00:38:43 Squirrell
Squirrel here.

00:38:44 Squirrell
Terribly sorry.

00:38:45 Squirrell
I've just realized that both of my facts were in fact facts.

00:38:50 Squirrell
James Cameron did send a photo of the Avengers A sinking the Titanic.

00:38:55 Squirrell
So yeah, Hearst would have struggled to lose this episode.

00:38:59 Squirrell
Sorry, bye.

00:38:59 Squirrell
I don't want to be Iron Man, but of course, back then, who the **** was Iron Man, right?

00:39:04 Squirrell
Only comic nerds knew who Iron Man was.

00:39:06 Squirrell
Now people know who ******* Hawkeye is.

00:39:07 Squirrell
Bloom.

00:39:08 Squirrell
There you are.

00:39:09 Hurst
As everyone knows, we love Tom Cruise, but Robert Downey Junior was perfect.

00:39:14 Squirrell
He did a very, very good job.

00:39:15 Squirrell
Although I would have loved to have seen Tom Cruise as Iron Man, I think that would have been immense.

00:39:19 Hurst
I just don't think you can really look good running in that suit.

00:39:23 Squirrell
He doesn't run, he flies.

00:39:24 Hurst
No, but if it was Tom Cruise.

00:39:25 Squirrell
Oh, he'd have to run.

00:39:26 Hurst
He'd have to run.

00:39:27 Hurst
and ride a motorbike.

00:39:28 Hurst
It just, Iron Man's motorbike would be really cool though.

00:39:31 Hurst
You can imagine this red and gold motorbike that just transforms into a jumbo mega suit.

00:39:36 Squirrell
I'm sure you have one of them in the comics.

00:39:37 Squirrell
Undoubtedly, there's been so many of them.

00:39:39 Squirrell
Well, there we are.

00:39:40 Squirrell
We've done very well.

00:39:42 Squirrell
We've estimated facts today.

00:39:43 Hurst
Yeah, bravo us.

00:39:46 Squirrell
And there's your top fives rankers.

00:39:49 Hurst
I did like that you swung a Tom Cruise one in there when it's so often not right.

00:39:53 Hurst
The only downside of that is that we always say it's right anyway, because that's kind of the law.

00:39:58 Hurst
So what's left for us to do?

00:39:59 Hurst
I think we need to see what's going on for the next episode.

00:40:01 Hurst
And can it please not be movies?

00:40:04 Hurst
Yes.

00:40:04 Hurst
Can we have a nice one like that one when we had smells?

00:40:07 Hurst
That was so easy.

00:40:09 Squirrell
Let's see what the wheel of decision has in store for us.

00:40:13 Hurst
It's A mighty wheel of categories though, isn't it?

00:40:15 Squirrell
It's long now.

00:40:16 Hurst
Look at all of them, Yeah, now that we've got more patrons, of course, there's more suggestions.

00:40:20 Hurst
The chances of you getting yours in are slimmer and slimmer each week, so well done for the early patrons.

00:40:25 Squirrell
That's true, although of course they don't have any more chance of getting picked.

00:40:30 Hurst
No, but a lot of them will have already had theirs picked first time around, right?

00:40:34 Hurst
That's true.

00:40:35 Hurst
And they were those things on the wheel.

00:40:36 Squirrell
That's right.

00:40:37 Squirrell
So Katie, yeah, pick a new one.

00:40:38 Squirrell
And we will spin the wheel for next episode.

00:40:42 Squirrell
Here we go.

00:40:45 Squirrell
And it's going to be McDonald's menu items.

00:40:50 Squirrell
That's been since literally the beginning.

00:40:53 Squirrell
That's one of mine that we came up with one of the original 6.

00:40:56 Squirrell
that we started out with.

00:40:57 Hurst
When we pick them, they're great categories.

00:41:02 Hurst
The research of our ones is like, go to McDonald's.

00:41:05 Hurst
I'm going to need to try everything.

00:41:07 Squirrell
All right.

00:41:08 Squirrell
McDonald's menu items.

00:41:10 Squirrell
Past and present or present?

00:41:13 Hurst
I think past and present.

00:41:14 Squirrell
Okay.

00:41:15 Squirrell
All right.

00:41:16 Squirrell
UK only.

00:41:17 Hurst
Yeah.

00:41:18 Hurst
I mean, I can only judge on the UK only.

00:41:21 Hurst
I've not had McDonald's elsewhere.

00:41:23 Squirrell
This is going to be a fun 2 weeks of research, Hurst.

00:41:28 Squirrell
And not good for us.

00:41:29 Hurst
No.

00:41:29 Squirrell
All right, cool.

00:41:30 Squirrell
Well, I am pleased about that.

00:41:32 Squirrell
McDonald's menu items coming to you in two weeks time rankers.

00:41:37 Hurst
All right, well, let's bring this one into land.

00:41:39 Squirrell
I'll tell them about where we are and ****.

00:41:42 Squirrell
We're on the internet rankers.

00:41:44 Squirrell
If you search up your Ask Jeeves.

00:41:46 Squirrell
Oh, you can't anymore.

00:41:46 Squirrell
It's shut last week.

00:41:47 Squirrell
Oh, no.

00:41:47 Squirrell
If you search up your Alta Vistas for Top Five Face-Off, you will find us.

00:41:52 Squirrell
We're at topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

00:41:54 Squirrell
We're on Facebook, Top Five Face-Off.

00:41:55 Squirrell
We're on Blue Sky, Top Five Face-Off.

00:41:57 Squirrell
We're on e-mail, hello at topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

00:41:59 Squirrell
We're all over the place, Hurst.

00:42:00 Squirrell
We're like a rat.

00:42:01 Hurst
We are.

00:42:02 Hurst
We're in your heads.

00:42:03 Hurst
We're in your houses.

00:42:04 Hurst
We're everywhere.

00:42:05 Squirrell
Yeah, we're in your ears right now.

00:42:08 Squirrell
******* how weird is that?

00:42:09 Hurst
That's pretty weird, actually.

00:42:09 Squirrell
Yeah, it's pretty weird when you think about it.

00:42:11 Squirrell
Yeah, come find us all over the place.

00:42:13 Squirrell
Come visit the website.

00:42:14 Squirrell
Make sure you do your voting.

00:42:15 Squirrell
That's the most important bit.

00:42:16 Squirrell
Rankers, come and vote and help us decide the official top five McDonald's menu items.

00:42:22 Squirrell
What else do I tell people?

00:42:24 Squirrell
What else do we tell people, Hurst?

00:42:26 Hurst
We tell them about where you can buy art these days.

00:42:28 Squirrell
Oh, ****.

00:42:29 Squirrell
Oh, you need to buy some art.

00:42:30 Squirrell
We can go to doghouseart.co.uk and there's many paintings of cool pop culture things.

00:42:35 Squirrell
things that you can choose from.

00:42:37 Hurst
The discount code is still active.

00:42:38 Hurst
So if you do see something that you like and you write, the facts are exact, you will get 30 whole percent off.

00:42:46 Squirrell
30%.

00:42:46 Hurst
I'm almost making a loss at that point.

00:42:48 Hurst
It's ridiculous.

00:42:49 Squirrell
Don't type it in, Rankers.

00:42:50 Squirrell
Give Hurst all your dollar.

00:42:51 Squirrell
No, it's cool.

00:42:52 Squirrell
Because he's about to spend a **** ton of money at McDonald's.

00:42:55 Hurst
Yeah, that's true, actually.

00:42:57 Hurst
Buy some art, get me some food.

00:43:00 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:43:00 Squirrell
Now when we originally put this on the wheel of decision, McDonald's was still kind of cheap, but nowadays it isn't.

00:43:07 Hurst
No, it's really not.

00:43:08 Hurst
You could go and get a meal for less than a fiver and how it's going to cost you a tenner.

00:43:11 Squirrell
Absolutely you could.

00:43:12 Squirrell
And yeah, no, you very much cannot.

00:43:14 Squirrell
But we will, I'm sure, discuss that more on the next episode.

00:43:17 Hurst
Yes, we will.

00:43:18 Hurst
That's going to be gripping our **** for sure.

00:43:21 Squirrell
Yeah, maybe.

00:43:22 Hurst
Oh, Melks, let us know about that petrol thing.

00:43:24 Squirrell
Oh, yeah.

00:43:24 Squirrell
Let us know why petrol is a decimal.

00:43:28 Hurst
Why it's allowed to?

00:43:29 Squirrell
What's that all about?

00:43:30 Squirrell
I mean, if they round it up or down or what, I'll know that.

00:43:33 Squirrell
What the damn hell?

00:43:34 Hurst
All.

00:43:35 Squirrell
Right.

00:43:35 Squirrell
Shall we **** *** first?

00:43:36 Squirrell
Let's do it.

00:43:37 Squirrell
All right.

00:43:37 Squirrell
Please rewind this podcast for the next people that come along to listen.

00:43:40 Squirrell
And we will be back in two weeks time for McDonald's menu items.

00:43:45 Hurst
Excellent.

00:43:46 Squirrell
See you later, Anchors.

00:43:48 Hurst
Love you.

00:43:53 Harriet
Top Five Face Off is presented by Matt Hurst and Matt Squirrel and produced by Power Storm Awesome Fire Incorporated.

00:44:00 Harriet
For more details and to vote for a winner, visit topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

00:44:06 Harriet
Thanks for listening.

00:44:22 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:44:26 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:44:29 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:44:33 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:44:37 Squirrell
Hello, new rankers.

00:44:38 Squirrell
This is Top Five Face Off, the official world rankings of everything.

00:44:42 Squirrell
Each episode, we have a random subject suggested to us.

00:44:48 Squirrell
Why can't I talk?

00:44:53 Squirrell
I swear they used to be called fix shakes and now they are not, or they were for a pre-period for years.

00:45:02 Squirrell
Well, that's true.

00:45:03 Squirrell
I mean, if the Happy Meals are meant to make your kid happy, then the fix shakes presumably...

00:45:11 Squirrell
Well, that's a good thing, because I've been canoodling with your wife.

00:45:13 Squirrell
No, I haven't been canoodling with your wife.