S02E23: Meatloaf songs

Transcript

00:00:00 Hurst
I've been building a rockery, so I'll have to talk about that.

00:00:02 Squirrell
Oh, f**k me, strap in.

00:00:04 Squirrell
I'm not sure I'm ready for that level of excitement.

00:00:07 Hurst
It was big news for me.

00:00:08 Hurst
I was so pleased for it.

00:00:10 Squirrell
I think I just found the opening segment for the episode.

00:00:13 Harriet
Top Five face-off contains adult themes and language that some people may find offensive.

00:00:18 Harriet
Listener discretion is advised.

00:00:20 Squirrell
He's Matt Hurst.

00:00:21 Hurst
He's Matt Squirrel.

00:00:22 Squirrell
This is Top Five Face-Off, the official world rankings of everything.

00:00:25 Squirrell
What are we ranking today, Hurst?

00:00:27 Hurst
Well, Squirrel, today we're going to be ranking the top five meatloaf songs.

00:00:32 Squirrell
That's coming right up after this.

00:00:35 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than one, then there's a best and a worst.

00:00:38 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than five, call Squirrel and Hurst.

00:00:42 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the top five face-off.

00:00:44 Robo-Katy Perry
Actual facts.

00:00:44 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the top five face-off.

00:00:48 Robo-Katy Perry
Facts are exact.

00:00:50 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:00:52 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

00:00:53 Robo-Katy Perry
Official world ranking.

00:00:55 Robo-Katy Perry
What's next? You decide.

00:00:57 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, or good night to rankers.

00:01:01 Hurst
Welcome back.

00:01:03 Hurst
Or if this is your first time, welcome to the show.

00:01:05 Squirrell
Hello.

00:01:06 Hurst
Squirrel, for all our shiny new rankers, why don't you tell them what we do here and, of course, why we do it?

00:01:12 Squirrell
Hello, shiny new rankers.

00:01:13 Squirrell
I'm sure you're almost sparkling.

00:01:15 Squirrell
Why do we do this?

00:01:20 Squirrell
This is Top Five Face Off the official world rankings of everything, every single episode.

00:01:24 Squirrell
Our Patreons will choose some subjects for us to rank and we pick one at random and then we choose the top five things and the worst thing in that category.

00:01:33 Squirrell
Today's category of course, meatloaf songs and then you, the ranker listening at home.

00:01:39 Squirrell
or in your car.

00:01:40 Squirrell
Or maybe they're playing this out live in Wembley Stadium.

00:01:42 Squirrell
Hey, you never know.

00:01:43 Squirrell
You go to our website, top5feetoff.co.uk, and you vote for the winner.

00:01:48 Hurst
Is one of us always right?

00:01:49 Squirrell
Yeah, one of us is always correct, Hurst, yeah.

00:01:52 Hurst
That's excellently convenient for the rankers.

00:01:54 Squirrell
It is.

00:01:55 Squirrell
Cool.

00:01:55 Hurst
But we don't like to get straight on to things, so what's been going on?

00:02:00 Hurst
Should I go for an easier one?

00:02:01 Hurst
How's the weather?

00:02:02 Squirrell
It's still hot, Hurst.

00:02:03 Squirrell
It's hot as always.

00:02:06 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:02:07 Squirrell
Now we've got some feedback on our last episode, which was before you started ranking, it was boring as ****.

00:02:14 Squirrell
So that's my wife.

00:02:15 Squirrell
Thank you, honey.

00:02:17 Squirrell
Be more entertaining this time, Hirst.

00:02:20 Hurst
Okay, I mean, we were ultra hot last time.

00:02:23 Hurst
Not in the, wow, we're so cool, Wade, definitely in the, our brains were melting and therefore we couldn't do it.

00:02:28 Hurst
But I'm having to skip past the dull preamble.

00:02:31 Hurst
Squirrel has just told me off air that people are not going to be interested in the fact that I built a rock garden.

00:02:36 Squirrell
I told you the exact opposite.

00:02:38 Squirrell
And not only that, I ******* recorded it.

00:02:40 Squirrell
I can just prove that right now.

00:02:42 Squirrell
**** me, Strap in.

00:02:43 Squirrell
I'm not sure I'm ready for that level of excitement.

00:02:47 Hurst
But you used sarcasm to indicate that was not interesting.

00:02:51 Squirrell
So what?

00:02:51 Squirrell
I want to hear about your rockery.

00:02:54 Hurst
Well, interestingly, and I use that term really broadly, it's a sweeping, inaccurate use of the word.

00:03:02 Hurst
Rockery stones are really expensive.

00:03:04 Hurst
All right.

00:03:04 Hurst
So if you try and buy them from like B&Q or whatever, they'll send you a bunch of, I don't know, less than bowling ball sized stones for like 200 grand.

00:03:12 Hurst
or 250 quid, or if you want to buy one of those big monolith type stones, which is actually only about 60 centimetres tall, not massive at all, maybe a bit more, but definitely not Stonehenge material.

00:03:25 Hurst
They'll charge you like 250 quid just for that.

00:03:27 Hurst
It's like, well, bolts for that.

00:03:28 Squirrell
You what?

00:03:29 Hurst
I know, they're really expensive if you want to buy stones for the garden.

00:03:33 Hurst
However,

00:03:35 Hurst
If you go on Facebook Marketplace or other equivalent things, I don't know what they might be, but that's the one I've used.

00:03:41 Hurst
And she's right, rockery stones, people are trying to get rid of that ****.

00:03:44 Hurst
So there's a guy in Doncaster who I have acquired an awful lot of large stones for.

00:03:50 Hurst
Obviously I had to go and pick them up.

00:03:51 Hurst
And the entire rockery so far has only cost me 30 quid because I've picked up free ones from places.

00:03:56 Hurst
I've picked up some two or three pounds of stone for the really big ones.

00:04:00 Hurst
And yeah, I've got an awful lot there.

00:04:02 Hurst
So I have been frugal as all ****.

00:04:05 Hurst
in building my referee and it's starting to look good.

00:04:08 Hurst
So I'm well pleased with that.

00:04:10 Hurst
And whilst we're on the gardening thing, people who are eagle-eyed and have been keeping up with our Facebook page will see that I have in fact re-potted Lemony Snicket.

00:04:20 Squirrell
I haven't seen this.

00:04:22 Hurst
I'm looking now.

00:04:25 Hurst
in the pot.

00:04:26 Hurst
It wasn't looking super happy, so I thought, well, I'll upgrade the pot.

00:04:30 Hurst
And as I just dug in a little bit, ants came pouring out.

00:04:33 Hurst
It's like, you little **** ****.

00:04:35 Squirrell
Oh, man, how did they get in there?

00:04:39 Hurst
Oh, we've got ants.

00:04:40 Hurst
Yeah, but it's lemony snicker.

00:04:41 Hurst
It's prestige, isn't it?

00:04:42 Hurst
It's like living in Mayfield.

00:04:44 Squirrell
The address, right?

00:04:46 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:04:46 Hurst
So anyway, I took them out, shook all the ants out, washed the roots off and put it in a new pot, nice pot, mixed up a really good compost and coconut husk mix and put in some fertilizer.

00:04:58 Hurst
*** **** Lemony looks well happy, grown like a person in a minute.

00:05:02 Squirrell
He does, I'm looking at the photo.

00:05:04 Squirrell
He looks vibrant.

00:05:05 Hurst
Yeah, radiant, sir.

00:05:07 Squirrell
Ooh.

00:05:08 Squirrell
What do you reckon next year for lemons?

00:05:10 Hurst
Maybe.

00:05:10 Hurst
I'm hoping so.

00:05:11 Hurst
I'm hoping so.

00:05:12 Hurst
I'm going to have to leave them out over winter this year because it's just getting too big for the house.

00:05:16 Hurst
So it's going to have to be some kind of greenhouse or something going on.

00:05:20 Hurst
So it's big time in the garden right now.

00:05:23 Hurst
Big time.

00:05:23 Squirrell
**** all going on in my garden apart from yellow grass.

00:05:26 Hurst
Yeah, I've got a lot of yellow grass.

00:05:28 Hurst
Funnily enough, I get quite excitable on Shine or Shen or Sheen or whatever you want to call it, because they sell loads of gardening beds.

00:05:35 Hurst
And you never know how good or bad they're going to be, but generally speaking, they've actually been pretty good.

00:05:38 Hurst
So I bought a series of little spritzing irrigation systems that I've set up.

00:05:43 Hurst
So when I plug the hose in, it just starts watering bits of the garden.

00:05:46 Squirrell
Wait, you're not allowed to use your hose?

00:05:49 Hurst
And I bought a sprinkler and that arrived and it's like one of those ones that goes, and spins around and just water's a massive area.

00:05:59 Hurst
I thought it was just going to be banging.

00:06:00 Hurst
The day it arrived.

00:06:02 Squirrell
I've got a text.

00:06:02 Hurst
Message from Franklin and Walter saying, Host pipe ban starts tomorrow, just like you ********.

00:06:09 Hurst
So now I have to water using watering cans, which takes more water.

00:06:14 Hurst
Using the hose does.

00:06:15 Squirrell
But the idea, I guess, is that most people can't be asked to do that.

00:06:18 Hurst
That's probably what the idea is.

00:06:20 Squirrell
Yes.

00:06:21 Squirrell
See, that's been gripping my **** Hess, because I am also hose pipe banned.

00:06:25 Squirrell
Not that I really use a hose pipe for much, but **** you, Anglian water.

00:06:29 Squirrell
I have Anglian water.

00:06:30 Squirrell
I don't know who you have.

00:06:31 Squirrell
Anglian.

00:06:32 Hurst
Well, I have two.

00:06:32 Hurst
I've got Anglian and Severn Trent.

00:06:34 Squirrell
How's that work?

00:06:35 Squirrell
That doesn't make any sense.

00:06:36 Hurst
Well, Severn Trent do the waste, apparently.

00:06:38 Hurst
I was hoping it was the other way round, because they're not on a pipe band, but yeah, Anglian give us the good water.

00:06:44 Hurst
Seven and 10 take away the bad one.

00:06:45 Hurst
Oh, that's boring.

00:06:46 Hurst
That's not good chat.

00:06:47 Hurst
Tell me about why you're so ****** ***.

00:06:49 Squirrell
The fact that they know it's going to be ******* hot.

00:06:52 Squirrell
Everyone knew this was coming.

00:06:54 Squirrell
The fact that they can't provide enough water for everybody is because they **** away all their money, giving it to rich ******** who worked, to be fair, really hard for their parents' money.

00:07:04 Squirrell
Oh, it makes me so ******* happy.

00:07:06 Squirrell
You're going to have to ******* deal with some **** because we couldn't be bothered to fix our stuff properly and make it good.

00:07:11 Squirrell
And by the way, we're going to find you a grad.

00:07:14 Squirrell
Look at those guys, man.

00:07:15 Squirrell
Welcome to Top Five Face-off, the number one socialist podcast.

00:07:20 Squirrell
Anything been making you feel old?

00:07:21 Hurst
No.

00:07:24 Hurst
Yeah, I'm sure something was making me feel old, but then I didn't write it down.

00:07:29 Hurst
So...

00:07:30 Squirrell
You forgot Kimberly Rolls.

00:07:31 Squirrell
******* perfect.

00:07:35 Squirrell
Speaking of not remembering things, you want to find out what happened in the last episode?

00:07:38 Squirrell
Do you even remember what we talked about?

00:07:40 Hurst
Movie villain schemes.

00:07:41 Squirrell
Yes, correct.

00:07:43 Squirrell
Schemingly in first with the first comment was Meg 98 with a vote for you, Hurst, who says, love 7 or 7 and she's written a SE with the seven in the middle of EN like it was in the cinema.

00:07:57 Hurst
I like to pronounce that.

00:07:58 Hurst
Seven.

00:07:59 Squirrell
That's exactly what she says next.

00:08:01 Squirrell
How are we meant to say that?

00:08:03 Squirrell
Seven.

00:08:06 Squirrell
Money Slinger votes for me.

00:08:08 Squirrell
He says.

00:08:09 Squirrell
Scrill is 100% right on Fanos.

00:08:11 Squirrell
Lamest scheme possible.

00:08:13 Squirrell
Zemo had a much better MCU plan.

00:08:16 Hurst
Okay, it was not a lame scheme.

00:08:18 Hurst
Whether you liked it or not, it was the grandest scheme of all the movie villain schemes.

00:08:24 Hurst
His logic may or may not have been flawed.

00:08:26 Hurst
Let's face it, most of them are flawed.

00:08:28 Hurst
But as grand movie villain schemes go, it was epic.

00:08:33 Hurst
And brilliantly executed.

00:08:35 Squirrell
Well, Moneyswinger disagrees with you and goes on to say, There's another reason why Zemo has the better villain scheme.

00:08:41 Squirrell
The impact of his plan is deeper.

00:08:45 Squirrell
Well...

00:08:45 Squirrell
Is it though?

00:08:46 Squirrell
Is it deeper than wiping out half of whole life?

00:08:51 Squirrell
Hurst sounds a bit miserable.

00:08:54 Squirrell
So gets a sympathy vote this week, says Anonymous.

00:09:00 Squirrell
Aw.

00:09:01 Hurst
Maybe again, it was hot.

00:09:03 Hurst
My hot voice is same as my miserable voice, perhaps.

00:09:06 Squirrell
Maybe, But I'll tell you what's made me miserable.

00:09:09 Squirrell
That's not why you vote.

00:09:10 Squirrell
This is an important historical archive of the best things.

00:09:15 Squirrell
And the best things aren't because I sounded a little bit sad.

00:09:19 Hurst
Yeah, I mean, I almost called out Moneyslinger because he said, squirrels are right, Thanos sucks, which is again, the worst doesn't count, but because it was my first, I thought, yeah, I'll be wrong if I say that.

00:09:30 Hurst
Yeah, you're right.

00:09:31 Hurst
People, come on.

00:09:32 Hurst
It's important to get this right.

00:09:34 Squirrell
Here comes a vote for me.

00:09:35 Squirrell
Boy, did you guys sound warm.

00:09:38 Squirrell
Not ******* wrong.

00:09:39 Squirrell
Davpaz here.

00:09:40 Squirrell
Apologies for not voting, commenting on the Fast and Furious episode, but my crushing indifference on the subject caused choice paralysis.

00:09:47 Squirrell
And it was too bloody hot.

00:09:49 Squirrell
As for schemes, I've gone for Squirrel as I always enjoyed Simon Gruber's plan in Die Hard 3.

00:09:54 Squirrell
Fun fact, none of the first Die Hards were written as Die Hard movies and were all adapted from other works.

00:10:00 Squirrell
The first one was off to Frank Sinatra as it's technically a sequel to The Detective, which is starred back in 1968.

00:10:06 Squirrell
Can't wait for some meatloaf.

00:10:08 Squirrell
Dav Paz out.

00:10:09 Squirrell
Terrifying.

00:10:10 Squirrell
There you are.

00:10:10 Squirrell
Thank you for that, Dav Paz.

00:10:12 Squirrell
Informative and devoted for the right person.

00:10:15 Squirrell
Ohio.

00:10:16 Squirrell
Ohio here.

00:10:18 Squirrell
Who watches The Watchmen?

00:10:19 Squirrell
Me.

00:10:19 Squirrell
I love that movie.

00:10:21 Squirrell
Any votes for me.

00:10:22 Squirrell
Thanks, Ohio.

00:10:23 Squirrell
The season of Hearst continues.

00:10:25 Squirrell
Cheers, Cod.

00:10:27 Squirrell
Thanks, Kovach.

00:10:29 Squirrell
Oh, this is a long one.

00:10:30 Squirrell
Oh, God.

00:10:30 Squirrell
I'm going to smash into my microphone and strap in for this comment.

00:10:34 Squirrell
Just a few more weeks of the season of Hearst to go, and then I can finally get back to voting normally.

00:10:40 Squirrell
That said, any list featuring Lex Luthor is always going to score points for me, because, as most people know, I'm a big Superman fan.

00:10:48 Squirrell
He's not that big, is he?

00:10:49 Squirrell
Very average, right?

00:10:50 Squirrell
It's a season of Hurst.

00:10:52 Squirrell
Who do you think he is?

00:10:53 Hurst
Oh, I vision, yeah, because Cobb said season of Hurst as well, so it's obviously, yeah, so it needs to really spread a little bit now.

00:11:00 Hurst
But yeah, is he, I mean, he might be a big Superman.

00:11:02 Hurst
He might be a fan of the big Superman.

00:11:05 Squirrell
Oh, right, yeah, the biggest of the Superman.

00:11:07 Hurst
What's his name?

00:11:08 Hurst
He did it recently.

00:11:10 Squirrell
Pavel.

00:11:11 Hurst
That's the guy.

00:11:12 Hurst
He's quite a unit, isn't he?

00:11:16 Hurst
He's the big Superman.

00:11:17 Hurst
And Christopher Reeve was 6 foot 4.

00:11:19 Squirrell
He was.

00:11:20 Squirrell
Anyway, I got a lot more comment to read.

00:11:22 Squirrell
In fact, my parents were apparently going to call me Lex before changing their mind at the last minute and settling on the vision or Rost, depending on how you know me.

00:11:30 Squirrell
Still, I do use Lex on video game high score tables.

00:11:34 Squirrell
So that's my rather tenuous connection.

00:11:36 Squirrell
An even more tenuous length,

00:11:38 Squirrell
We'd be squeezing another Haley Fox story in here.

00:11:41 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:11:41 Hurst
Oh yes, come on, let's hear it.

00:11:43 Squirrell
Apart from watching Doctanyan at her house, the only other thing I remember is watching an episode of Mighty Mouse.

00:11:49 Squirrell
Unfortunately, I can't remember who the evil villain was or what the evil scheme involved.

00:11:54 Squirrell
So it's a bit of a crap story.

00:11:56 Squirrell
Anyway, shame on you for not mentioning **** Dastardly.

00:11:58 Squirrell
What move is The Vision?

00:12:00 Squirrell
Move is.

00:12:00 Hurst
Previously we have discussed how **** Dastardly was my worst villain.

00:12:05 Squirrell
Yes, go right back to the very first episode if you want to hear more about **** Dastardly.

00:12:10 Squirrell
The most evil scheme of all, he just wanted to win a race or catch a pigeon.

00:12:14 Squirrell
Love The Vision.

00:12:15 Squirrell
Thanks The Vision.

00:12:16 Hurst
Yeah, thanks mate.

00:12:19 Squirrell
And one more, Hurst.

00:12:21 Squirrell
Are you using the neuralyser from Men in Black to wipe your listeners' memories?

00:12:26 Squirrell
I can't remember significant details about the last couple of episodes, or indeed voting in them.

00:12:31 Squirrell
Better play if you're using it to get people to listen to the podcast twice, but if they're forgetting to vote too, that might explain the lack of comments on the previous video.

00:12:40 Squirrell
Video?

00:12:41 Squirrell
And that's from anonymous.

00:12:42 Squirrell
There we are.

00:12:43 Hurst
Goodness.

00:12:44 Hurst
We weren't the only ones with heat brain, were we?

00:12:47 Squirrell
Well, yeah, it looks that way.

00:12:48 Hurst
We haven't heard anything from Matt and Laura, friends of the show, recently.

00:12:51 Hurst
I might have to check in and make sure they're still listening.

00:12:53 Squirrell
Ex-friends of the show.

00:12:55 Squirrell
Anyway, that's it, Hearst.

00:12:57 Squirrell
I can tell you it's very close.

00:12:59 Squirrell
We have more than 50, Hearst.

00:13:01 Squirrell
Yes.

00:13:02 Squirrell
And you've got 25 of them.

00:13:05 Hurst
So which means you've got 26 or 27 or 28.

00:13:08 Squirrell
So I have won that episode.

00:13:12 Squirrell
Hooray.

00:13:13 Hurst
Well, congratulations.

00:13:14 Squirrell
Thank you very much.

00:13:17 Squirrell
And would you like a quick reminder because of Men in Black Ray thing about the top five evil movie villain schemes or whatever order is worth going?

00:13:27 Hurst
Go on then, hit me with it.

00:13:29 Squirrell
At #5, Jigsaw from the Saw movies.

00:13:33 Squirrell
At #4, Simon Gruber from Die Hard Free.

00:13:38 Squirrell
At #3, The Rich People from Stark.

00:13:43 Squirrell
At #2, Ozzie Mandis from Watchmen.

00:13:48 Squirrell
And at #1, Baron Zemo from the MCU, but really mostly Civil War.

00:13:56 Squirrell
There we go, it's official.

00:13:58 Hurst
Yeah, listen to them again.

00:13:59 Hurst
I'm really surprised that you weren't that one because those were some pretty niche movie villains in there.

00:14:06 Squirrell
I think we have some pretty niche people who listen in there.

00:14:09 Squirrell
Yeah, that's true.

00:14:10 Hurst
We love our niche.

00:14:11 Squirrell
We do.

00:14:11 Squirrell
Especially our mouth.

00:14:12 Hurst
Yeah, never change, guys.

00:14:15 Squirrell
Yeah, never change.

00:14:16 Squirrell
But that was in the past.

00:14:18 Squirrell
Should we move forward into some operatic rock?

00:14:21 Hurst
Yeah, let's do it.

00:14:27 Squirrell
First, before we can start discussing meatloaf, we have to find out who gets to discuss meatloaf first.

00:14:32 Squirrell
Do you remember how we do that?

00:14:33 Hurst
I do.

00:14:34 Hurst
Let's flip that coin of destiny.

00:14:37 Squirrell
I have it right here.

00:14:38 Squirrell
Heads for her, squirrels have tails.

00:14:43 Squirrell
Clean one and squirrels have tails.

00:14:46 Squirrell
Very good.

00:14:46 Hurst
It's your turn again.

00:14:48 Squirrell
My #5 is from 1984 Hurst and it is the song Modern Girl from the album Bad Attitude.

00:14:57 Squirrell
It's the one that goes, give me the future with a modern girl.

00:15:01 Squirrell
Do you know that one?

00:15:02 Hurst
No.

00:15:03 Squirrell
Because do you listen to them all?

00:15:05 Hurst
I don't know, I'll explain all that in a minute.

00:15:07 Hurst
We should have probably, before you started, we should have probably gone through my preamble because I just assumed I was going first.

00:15:16 Squirrell
I'll do it now.

00:15:17 Hurst
I think, yeah, we, because sometimes we talk about the topic before we just dive in, don't we?

00:15:23 Squirrell
Sometimes.

00:15:24 Squirrell
You do.

00:15:24 Squirrell
Clearly, I don't.

00:15:26 Squirrell
I was too excited to talk about Meat Loaf.

00:15:27 Hurst
So we should probably talk a little bit about Meat Loaf, because obviously I've had some fairly rage-inducing experiences over the time we've been here.

00:15:35 Hurst
See, a couple of weeks ago, The Fast and the Furious, Spice Girls, ABBA.

00:15:40 Hurst
People seem to quite like the rage.

00:15:41 Hurst
But then there's also been some things that I love, like the TV themes, cartoon villains, stuff that I'm really

00:15:46 Hurst
into.

00:15:47 Hurst
This week, we have stumbled upon the thing that it turns out perhaps I'm most ambivalent to in the world.

00:15:53 Hurst
Oh my God.

00:15:55 Hurst
Yeah.

00:15:55 Hurst
For me, meatloaf songs are kind of the white paint of music, inoffensive, dulled.

00:16:00 Hurst
So I really have no strong feelings about it.

00:16:02 Squirrell
Are you sure you're listening to the right meatloaf?

00:16:04 Hurst
Well, we'll find out in a minute.

00:16:06 Hurst
The problem is he's recorded a thousand songs.

00:16:09 Hurst
They're all 20 minutes long.

00:16:10 Hurst
So there's no point in listening to them all because frankly, even the best of compilation, I struggled to notice when one

00:16:16 Hurst
finished and the next word started.

00:16:18 Harriet
You can't see it, but Squirrel is sitting with his mouth open at this point.

00:16:23 Hurst
So as a challenge, it was kind of akin to choosing my top five square feet of grass in the garden.

00:16:29 Hurst
Eventually, I just shortlisted the top 10 most listened to on Spotify and diligently tried to tell them apart.

00:16:34 Hurst
So at least this way, if I win, the public resource that is Top Five Face Off remains credible.

00:16:43 Squirrell
Hello at topfivefaceoff.co.uk if you happen to disagree with us here, everybody.

00:16:48 Squirrell
Good Lord.

00:16:49 Hurst
Some people may love us.

00:16:50 Hurst
I mean, it's just kind of the same rock'n'roll song happening over and over again for just ages.

00:16:58 Hurst
Just figure out how am I supposed to rank these things when they all occupy the exact same part of my brain.

00:17:03 Squirrell
Goodness.

00:17:04 Harriet
Squirrel and first argue about this for another 6 minutes.

00:17:08 Hurst
Like Soundgarden have got way more range and they write their own songs.

00:17:13 Hurst
I mean, Meatloaf just, Stiveman goes, here you go, here's another one, Meat.

00:17:15 Hurst
And he goes, right, yeah, how should I sing it?

00:17:17 Hurst
Same as before?

00:17:18 Hurst
Like, yep, exactly the same.

00:17:20 Squirrell
Of course, because you're one of the best.

00:17:22 Squirrell
Okay, let's go.

00:17:23 Squirrell
Number 5 Meatloaf song for me is from the album Bad Attitude that came out in 1984.

00:17:29 Squirrell
It is Modern Girl.

00:17:31 Squirrell
This one hurts.

00:17:46 Hurst
That one might be on my list.

00:17:47 Hurst
I don't know for sure.

00:17:48 Squirrell
Oh, exciting.

00:17:49 Squirrell
What do you mean you don't?

00:17:50 Squirrell
Oh, God.

00:17:54 Hurst
Sounds like it might be.

00:17:56 Hurst
Hard to tell.

00:17:57 Hurst
So yes, carry on.

00:17:59 Squirrell
Spent 11 weeks in the UK top 40, it reached number 17 in his peak, and in the US it had a different title, which was Give Me the Future with a Modern Girl, which is far too long.

00:18:09 Squirrell
It's just called A Modern Girl.

00:18:10 Squirrell
Maybe Ohio needs the chorus explained in advance.

00:18:13 Squirrell
It's a great song.

00:18:14 Squirrell
It's very fast.

00:18:16 Squirrell
It is

00:18:17 Squirrell
and a half minutes long, less than.

00:18:18 Squirrell
And it is, yeah, just a good little rock song.

00:18:22 Squirrell
Meatloaf sings stuff, especially as more operatic stuff, which is by Jim Steinman.

00:18:27 Squirrell
This one wasn't Jim Steinman.

00:18:28 Squirrell
This was Paul Jacobs and Sarah Durkey.

00:18:45 Squirrell
But he

00:18:46 Squirrell
He will sing about teenage angst in a way that is so ******* dramatic.

00:18:52 Squirrell
It's like you're watching a divorce proceeding that is for some reason taking place in Wembley Stadium.

00:18:59 Squirrell
And they're just singing to each other to try and work out their differences.

00:19:04 Squirrell
And this one's less of that.

00:19:06 Squirrell
This is a more standard rock pop song, but it's still a good one.

00:19:09 Squirrell
I won't go on about it too long.

00:19:11 Squirrell
It's only my #5.

00:19:12 Squirrell
My #5 is Modern Girl.

00:19:14 Hurst
What I assume that they're doing as a partnership, the Meatloaf Song Generator, what I've noticed is that it's random disconnected introductions that probably go on too long, insane melodramatic declarations of love, and then repeat the title of the song as much as you possibly can.

00:19:31 Hurst
and you've got yourself a meatloaf song.

00:19:33 Hurst
So for me, my #5 was, you took the words right out of my mouth, got summer like 1977, written by Jim Steinman, as so many of the big hits were.

00:20:26 Hurst
Only 5 minutes and five seconds, so almost under 5 minutes, which for me is fantastic work.

00:20:32 Hurst
Well, for Steinman is fantastic work.

00:20:33 Hurst
Meetloaf just did what he was told.

00:20:35 Hurst
Did it well, but yeah, just did it.

00:20:38 Hurst
Opens with one of Rock's most recognizable spoken word intros, before launching it on the standout track from Beth Out of Hell.

00:20:44 Hurst
Weird as all **** hated it at first, but then it amused me and now I kind of like it.

00:21:00 Hurst
Because I did have to listen through those 10 I'd shortlisted a few times just to try and really, really put it out properly.

00:21:06 Hurst
I mean, I've done it properly.

00:21:07 Hurst
I may find it all very generic.

00:21:11 Hurst
inspiring, but I'm trying to do it right for the resource.

00:21:15 Hurst
Yeah, this one I felt fit the bill.

00:21:17 Hurst
Got to listen to a lot.

00:21:19 Hurst
Yeah, it's all right.

00:21:20 Hurst
So what I'm doing for my little gimmick this week is, as I mentioned in my song generator, they do like to have him sing the title of the song, even if it's a long song, like you took the words right out of my mouth.

00:21:34 Hurst
How many times do you think he sings, you took the words right out of my mouth in that song?

00:21:40 Hurst
It's 5 minutes and

00:21:41 Hurst
Five seconds.

00:21:41 Squirrell
Yes.

00:21:43 Squirrell
At the end of the song, there's a whole bit where it's just that repeated over and over.

00:21:47 Squirrell
So it's going to be a lot.

00:21:48 Squirrell
I'm going to say, Bertie.

00:21:51 Squirrell
Five, 5 doesn't make sense.

00:21:53 Squirrell
Thirty-six.

00:21:53 Hurst
Wow, you really have been desensitised to me.

00:21:56 Hurst
No, that's 20, which is an extraordinary amount of things for 5 minutes.

00:22:01 Hurst
Thirty-five, that would have been pretty much the whole song.

00:22:03 Hurst
Do you think?

00:22:04 Hurst
It was kind of the whole.

00:22:05 Hurst
Bear in mind that the last two minutes was you took the words right out of my mouth, pretty much.

00:22:10 Hurst
And yeah, that's 20 times the title.

00:22:14 Squirrell
20 times sounds not terrible.

00:22:17 Hurst
It's exhausting.

00:22:18 Hurst
Each song could be at least a minute shorter if they didn't feel the need to repeat the title and infinitum near the end.

00:22:24 Squirrell
That's called a chorus.

00:22:26 Hurst
Yeah, it's called a chorus when it's in the song.

00:22:29 Hurst
When it's at the end of the song, you're just doing it over and over and over again.

00:22:32 Hurst
It's just kind of lazy songwriting.

00:22:33 Squirrell
Just out of interest, mate.

00:22:35 Squirrell
Black Hole Sun, 31 time.

00:22:38 Hurst
All right.

00:22:39 Hurst
How about all of the others?

00:22:41 Squirrell
I just picked the best one.

00:22:44 Squirrell
So anyway, that was your #5.

00:22:46 Hurst
This is the game.

00:22:47 Hurst
20 titles at the end of it.

00:22:49 Hurst
You made it sound boring now, so thanks for that.

00:22:53 Squirrell
Well, it depends what the future numbers hold.

00:22:55 Squirrell
Let's move on to my #4, Hurst, which was Dead Ringer for Love.

00:23:14 Squirrell
which was released in 1981 and came off the album Dead Ringer.

00:23:19 Squirrell
And this is the first in my list written by Jim Steinman, who as Hertz rightly points out, had quite a long and let's say pretty successful writing partnership with, what do I think his friends call him Meet.

00:23:34 Squirrell
Dead Ringer was a duet with Cher.

00:23:36 Squirrell
and hung around in the UK charts for 17 weeks.

00:23:40 Squirrell
It peaked at #5 in February 82, even though it was released in November 81.

00:23:46 Squirrell
Charts were a different world back then.

00:23:48 Squirrell
Side note, did you know there's currently number one right now has been the longest number one that's ever been?

00:23:53 Squirrell
I couldn't tell you a single ******* I have no idea what it sounds like or what it is or who it's by.

00:23:59 Hurst
No.

00:24:00 Squirrell
Me either.

00:24:01 Squirrell
Weird, isn't it?

00:24:01 Hurst
No one gives a **** about the charts anymore.

00:24:04 Squirrell
Yeah, exactly.

00:24:05 Squirrell
What was it?

00:24:05 Squirrell
Where, that was longest?

00:24:07 Hurst
I think it was Bradam.

00:24:09 Squirrell
I think they both had a go, whichever one came last, right, was their current record holder.

00:24:13 Squirrell
But yeah, no one gives a **** about the charts anymore, but they were definitely

00:24:17 Squirrell
different in the early 80s, man.

00:24:19 Squirrell
Songs don't go up for 17 weeks anymore.

00:24:22 Hurst
No, because you had to go out and buy them.

00:24:24 Hurst
It wasn't how many times you played them, was it?

00:24:26 Hurst
was how many physical copies were sold.

00:24:31 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:24:32 Squirrell
So this is obviously a very successful duet.

00:24:35 Squirrell
If you're going to put someone up against Meatloaf, you choose ******* Cher.

00:24:57 Squirrell
******* Cher because she can meet him halfway and his halfway is still ******* a mountain high because it's ridiculous and she does really well because she's ******* Cher.

00:25:08 Squirrell
She, you know, doesn't just cope with the performance, she gives as much back as he throws at her and it's really good bouncy backwards and forward songs and

00:25:17 Squirrell
Some Steimer songs, you rightly point out, sound a lot like musical numbers, but this one just sounds like a musical argument and I like it a lot.

00:25:25 Squirrell
So yeah, Dead Ringer.

00:25:27 Squirrell
It's the exciting bit of it.

00:25:28 Squirrell
A lot of Meatloaf songs are about relationships and this is the exciting bit of the relationships and then discovering the irritating habits that each other have.

00:25:36 Squirrell
Now #4, Dead Ringer for love.

00:25:40 Hurst
Yeah, it was all right as well.

00:25:41 Hurst
Sounded a lot like the others.

00:25:42 Hurst
My number four...

00:25:43 Squirrell
You had ******* cheering.

00:25:44 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:25:44 Squirrell
He had a whole other singer.

00:25:47 Hurst
Every now and then he had another singer in, you know, do a female part and let them...

00:25:51 Hurst
That would sink a couple of minutes.

00:25:53 Hurst
Not enough to get in the way of the meatloafiness of it.

00:25:56 Hurst
Anyway, my number four is the only one I've got that isn't a Steinman song, actually.

00:26:02 Hurst
This one was written by Richard O'Brien for the Rocky Horror Picture Show, where Meatloaf played

00:26:08 Hurst
Eddie the biker and it's hot patootie, bless my soul.

00:26:24 Hurst
It's only three minutes and three seconds, which I loved about it because I felt like the right amount of time for a song that didn't really go anywhere, but it was kind of driving and it was good fun.

00:26:49 Hurst
Bit of a guest.

00:26:49 Hurst
I do love Rocky Horror Pictures.

00:26:52 Squirrell
Because you're a functioning human being.

00:26:54 Squirrell
If you don't like it, I don't know what to tell you.

00:26:56 Hurst
How many times does he sing Hot Patootie, Bless My Soul in three minutes.

00:27:00 Squirrell
Well, this one again, it ends with that just repeated over and over.

00:27:04 Hurst
Yes, this is a theme.

00:27:05 Hurst
It ends with that repeated over and over and over.

00:27:07 Squirrell
You see it as a theme, but again, I think it's just a theme of songs from that era, because this was written by a completely different person.

00:27:14 Hurst
I disagree, because why would I have noticed it so much whilst listening to these?

00:27:18 Hurst
if every song did the same thing.

00:27:20 Hurst
All right.

00:27:20 Squirrell
It's going to be a few, but I don't think as many.

00:27:22 Squirrell
The last one was 20, right?

00:27:23 Squirrell
That was a five-minute song, so yeah.

00:27:26 Squirrell
So I'm going to go 14.

00:27:29 Hurst
Very close.

00:27:29 Hurst
16 times.

00:27:32 Squirrell
That's a good one.

00:27:33 Hurst
It's pretty impressive.

00:27:34 Hurst
But yeah, it was all right.

00:27:35 Hurst
I didn't mind it at all.

00:27:38 Squirrell
All right, excellent.

00:27:39 Squirrell
And that was your #4.

00:27:40 Squirrell
That's my #4.

00:27:40 Squirrell
I was speaking with Pete, who chose the movie Villain Schemes, and I mentioned we were doing Meat Loaf next.

00:27:45 Squirrell
And he goes, oh, I hope you include Hot Pupportunity Bless My Song.

00:27:48 Squirrell
And I say, well, I cannot because it wasn't on any of Meat Loaf studio albums.

00:27:52 Hurst
I just said Meat Loaf songs.

00:27:53 Squirrell
Do we always studio albums?

00:27:56 Squirrell
We literally said it in the last episode.

00:27:59 Hurst
Well, I don't care.

00:28:00 Hurst
I was going on Meat Loaf songs.

00:28:02 Squirrell
*** ****.

00:28:04 Squirrell
My #3.

00:28:05 Squirrell
is, the previously mentioned took the words right out of my mouth, Hurst.

00:28:09 Squirrell
It is a freaking banger from the back of the albums you mentioned.

00:28:13 Squirrell
Single came out in the same year we did, Hurst.

00:28:16 Squirrell
*** **** that's a long time ago.

00:28:20 Hurst
Will he give me his jaws?

00:28:21 Hurst
Yes.

00:28:21 Hurst
Yes.

00:28:22 Squirrell
I love that dude.

00:28:23 Squirrell
Yes.

00:28:25 Squirrell
That dude being Jim Steinman.

00:28:28 Squirrell
Heroic.

00:28:29 Squirrell
He did the spoken word bit along with a actress called Marcia McClain.

00:28:34 Squirrell
As you mentioned, Hertz, this song is shorter than Steinman's normal songs because Meat Loaf specifically asked him to write a short pop song.

00:28:41 Squirrell
And short pop song is 5 minutes and 20 seconds or whatever it is, he said.

00:28:45 Squirrell
So there we are.

00:28:46 Squirrell
But it is still unmistakably Steinman.

00:28:50 Squirrell
He's taken like a really simple idea for, again, an old man singing about teenagers being in love.

00:28:56 Squirrell
Wait, he wasn't old at the time, I guess, but he continued to do so until he was, and treating it like, I don't know, some form of Greek tragedy or something.

00:29:06 Squirrell
But it's fun, it's jolly.

00:29:07 Squirrell
The chorus is, like you said, anyone can join in with it straight away because it's just repeated over and over again, and the strange...

00:29:17 Squirrell
The spoken bit at the beginning is weird and was often removed for radio players, you might imagine.

00:29:21 Squirrell
But I don't know, I like it because it's just so freaking weird.

00:29:25 Hurst
It is so weird.

00:29:26 Hurst
And as I say, first time I hated it and then it kind of grew on me a bit.

00:29:30 Hurst
Now actually, I quite like it mostly because of Steinman just going.

00:29:35 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:29:35 Squirrell
Yes.

00:29:36 Squirrell
Would you offer your throat?

00:29:37 Squirrell
Would you offer your throat to the...

00:29:40 Hurst
Yeah, the red rose or something.

00:29:43 Hurst
Oh, yeah, It's absolute ******** but it's...

00:29:47 Squirrell
And then the guitar.

00:29:51 Hurst
But it is part of that classic Mayloaf song generator, isn't it, like generic, weird intro, changing rhythm, changing, and finished with the title over and over and over again.

00:30:01 Hurst
And it's a great formula.

00:30:02 Hurst
He said it's the funny thing about he wanted a short pop song and it was 525.

00:30:07 Hurst
One of the, when I was looking for my facts versus estimated facts, one that I've chosen not to go with in the end was the average length of a UK top 40 hit across modern chart history.

00:30:17 Hurst
It's 3 minutes and 30 seconds.

00:30:20 Squirrell
Okay.

00:30:20 Hurst
The average song like for Meatloaf is 5 minutes and 3 seconds.

00:30:25 Hurst
So it's a whole 50% longer.

00:30:28 Squirrell
Value for money.

00:30:29 Hurst
Yeah.

00:30:30 Hurst
Well, well played, Stimon.

00:30:31 Hurst
Stick to your guns.

00:30:32 Hurst
You do you, Duck.

00:30:34 Squirrell
We certainly did.

00:30:36 Squirrell
So yeah, my number three, same as your number five.

00:30:39 Squirrell
Well, you got at #3, Hers.

00:30:41 Hurst
Well, this one actually was probably my favorite.

00:30:45 Hurst
And this is a

00:30:46 Hurst
a sign that I was trying to look at it objectively for the list.

00:30:52 Hurst
Because I mean, when I hate something, it's easy to be passionate either way.

00:30:55 Hurst
But as I've said, I'm sitting in that middle zone.

00:30:57 Hurst
I don't really care.

00:30:58 Hurst
But I felt like whilst I did like this one best, maybe it wasn't his version of it that I liked best.

00:31:05 Hurst
And it's two out of three ain't bad.

00:31:08 Hurst
1977 written by Jim Steinman, but obviously famously covered later on by Rod Stewart.

00:31:13 Squirrell
What's it?

00:31:13 Squirrell
I had no idea.

00:31:15 Hurst
Yeah, but I do like the song.

00:31:19 Hurst
Apparently it was inspired by a song that Elvis had written.

00:31:22 Hurst
Steinman had listened to it and it was something about wanting and needing.

00:31:25 Hurst
And it's like, oh yeah, that's great.

00:31:27 Hurst
But yeah, it was released, the final single from Bat Out of Hell became his breakthrough hit in the US.

00:31:32 Hurst
And it's just,

00:31:34 Hurst
It's a great song and perhaps one of the reasons I enjoyed it personally, looking at it from a Hearst eye rather than a which is the best meatloaf song eye.

00:31:44 Hurst
How many times do you think he sings the title?

00:31:47 Squirrell
You probably just saw my face.

00:31:48 Squirrell
I was thinking.

00:31:51 Squirrell
What is it?

00:31:53 Squirrell
What is the official title of that song?

00:31:54 Squirrell
Is it just...

00:31:55 Hurst
The official two out of three ain't bad.

00:31:57 Squirrell
OK, not many, because it's only right at the end of the chorus.

00:32:01 Squirrell
Maybe, we're talking like five or six.

00:32:04 Squirrell
I'm going to go with six.

00:32:05 Hurst
I should have gone with five, mate.

00:32:06 Squirrell
No, ****.

00:32:08 Hurst
Yeah, only five times, because it is part of the chorus, but it doesn't go out on it.

00:32:15 Squirrell
Wouldn't make sense if you just said it on its own to be able to say, yeah.

00:32:18 Hurst
So it's...

00:32:20 Hurst
It's just a really nice song.

00:32:21 Hurst
I liked it a lot, but I think putting into account the epicness and the success and all the other things around Meatloaf, I needed to be a bit more objective this time rather than just going in full of bile.

00:32:33 Hurst
I thought, no, I can't just go and hate everything that I don't love.

00:32:37 Hurst
I've got to be honest.

00:32:38 Hurst
And this one didn't really set off either side.

00:32:41 Hurst
But yeah, I like that.

00:32:41 Hurst
Two out of three ain't bad.

00:32:42 Hurst
It is a good song.

00:32:43 Hurst
It's 5 minutes, 26 still.

00:32:45 Hurst
It's more typical song.

00:33:07 Squirrell
The first ballad as well mentioned today as well.

00:33:10 Squirrell
I think we'd call that one a ballad, wouldn't we?

00:33:12 Squirrell
Yeah, I'd say it was a ballad.

00:33:14 Squirrell
Cool.

00:33:15 Squirrell
My #2 for me was Midnight at the Lost and Found.

00:33:38 Squirrell
from the album Midnight at the Lost and Found, which came out in 1983.

00:33:42 Squirrell
And as Hearst mentioned earlier, Meat Loaf hasn't written any of his own songs, and this was by Meat Loaf.

00:33:48 Squirrell
So there we are.

00:33:49 Squirrell
It's got to #7 in the UK.

00:33:53 Squirrell
And it was made during a period that Meat Loaf and Steinman had split apart.

00:33:58 Squirrell
The Meat wrote this one himself, and it clocked in a teeny tiny

00:34:02 Squirrell
What did you say the perfect length for a number one chart record was?

00:34:06 Hurst
It's 3 minutes, 30 seconds, roughly.

00:34:10 Squirrell
Oh, he's missed it by one second.

00:34:12 Squirrell
3.29 Midnight at the Lost and Found.

00:34:14 Squirrell
It is just a very, very catchy rock song.

00:34:19 Squirrell
I would imagine if it was being sung by anyone else and you didn't want to be terrified trying to emulate them.

00:34:25 Squirrell
It would be a very good karaoke song because it's a very simple song.

00:34:29 Squirrell
It's fast moving.

00:34:30 Squirrell
It's got excellent rhythm.

00:34:32 Squirrell
I like Midnight at the Lost and Found A lot.

00:34:35 Squirrell
And that is why it snuck in at my #2.

00:34:39 Squirrell
He did this instead of Total Eclipse of the Heart.

00:34:43 Squirrell
What?

00:34:44 Squirrell
That was perhaps a mistake.

00:34:46 Squirrell
Perhaps something to do with the fact that Stiman had written Total Eclipse and said they were having a bit of a fallout.

00:34:50 Squirrell
But he could have, yeah.

00:34:51 Squirrell
He could have got in there with Bonnie Tyler.

00:34:53 Hurst
But he did did cover that later, didn't he?

00:34:56 Squirrell
How was it?

00:34:58 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:34:59 Hurst
I was thinking of Celine Dion one, aren't I?

00:35:02 Hurst
It's all coming back to me.

00:35:03 Squirrell
Oh, it's all coming back to me now.

00:35:05 Squirrell
Oh, yeah, of course.

00:35:05 Hurst
Celine Dion was a cover that he did of her rather than Stuart covering two out of three.

00:35:13 Hurst
I need to check that right now.

00:35:14 Hurst
I've got my rock singers right.

00:35:40 Squirrell
It doesn't try and be like Battle of Hell or any of the other kind of songs from the Styman era.

00:35:46 Squirrell
It is very much of the time the rock music that was in the charts and it's just great.

00:35:53 Squirrell
Midnight at the Lost and Found and it's what taught me that silver bullets were slang terms for 1/4.

00:36:01 Hurst
Right.

00:36:02 Hurst
My #2 is 12 minutes and one second long, is I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that.

00:36:11 Squirrell
Yes.

00:36:11 Hurst
But I won't do that as in brackets for the purposes of our little game at the end.

00:36:16 Hurst
And also, the title is I'd do anything for love, but he sings I would do anything for love.

00:36:21 Hurst
So I'm concluding that as well.

00:36:23 Hurst
So just otherwise the game is.

00:36:25 Hurst
Kind of rude.

00:36:26 Hurst
So it's only UK number one single.

00:36:28 Hurst
Yep.

00:36:28 Hurst
And his biggest worldwide hit album version runs, as I've said, over 12 minutes.

00:36:33 Hurst
It is long.

00:36:33 Hurst
It's another Steinman classic.

00:36:35 Hurst
It's just, it's another one with a weird intro.

00:36:37 Hurst
The first 30 seconds sounds like someone trying to sound like a motorbike by using an electric guitar.

00:36:43 Hurst
And then in comes the piano and several times.

00:36:47 Hurst
when he should start the song, he just carries on with the piano for a bit more.

00:36:51 Hurst
And then it's like this time, nope, nope, a bit more piano.

00:36:54 Hurst
It was about nearly 2 minutes before he actually sings.

00:36:56 Squirrell
Yeah, easily actually.

00:36:58 Hurst
And throughout the song, in fact, throughout several of them, I found there were points just like, it's coming to a natural ending.

00:37:03 Hurst
This is perfect.

00:37:04 Hurst
And then it just picked it up and go, carry on, carry on.

00:37:06 Hurst
No, I'm not ready yet.

00:37:07 Hurst
I'm not ready yet.

00:37:07 Hurst
It's like playing an encore, but throughout every song.

00:37:10 Hurst
Anyway, it's an all right song.

00:37:12 Hurst
I didn't mind it when it came out.

00:37:14 Hurst
I mean, it was number one for Encore for a long time.

00:37:17 Hurst
Not quite Wet Wet and Bradams, but it was there for a long time.

00:37:21 Hurst
And considering it is a very long song with them, so was Bradams, wasn't there?

00:37:25 Hurst
It was like a 5 minute song.

00:37:26 Squirrell
The single version was 3 minutes and 40 seconds.

00:37:28 Hurst
What was it now?

00:37:29 Hurst
Was it 5 minutes?

00:37:30 Squirrell
The one they played, they're never going to play a 12 minute song on the radio, right?

00:37:33 Hurst
No, that's true, but I'm sure.

00:37:34 Hurst
But even the short one was...

00:37:38 Squirrell
Well, it was shorter for sure.

00:37:40 Hurst
The short one was five minutes and 16 seconds.

00:37:42 Squirrell
There you go.

00:37:44 Hurst
So yeah, no, not a short one, but it did include less weirdness at the beginning, less piano intro.

00:37:51 Hurst
And then when the woman sung, obviously he had to cut out half of anything she sung because she was obviously intruding into his singing, which he doesn't like very much.

00:38:01 Squirrell
What are you on about?

00:38:01 Squirrell
He has duets with women like all the time.

00:38:04 Hurst
Yeah, I mean, for the ones that were popular that I bothered to listen to.

00:38:11 Hurst
That's how I was listening whilst I was arting.

00:38:14 Hurst
And I got to a point where I was like, is this the same song that I'm listening to?

00:38:18 Hurst
And I had to go and check if it had moved on and it had moved on to another song.

00:38:21 Hurst
So I felt like I would literally have to sit there and listen

00:38:26 Hurst
to the whole thing and make notes of when these things finish.

00:38:29 Hurst
I thought, there's no way I'm doing that.

00:38:30 Hurst
It's just too much meatloaf.

00:38:32 Hurst
So when you go to the Dulux place and you're looking for which white you're going to get, and you're like, I'm all bleached ghost, that looks all right.

00:38:41 Hurst
Some summer chalk, that's nice.

00:38:44 Squirrell
Spring cosy.

00:38:45 Hurst
Yeah, absence of saturation, that's a nice way about that one.

00:38:48 Squirrell
They're all FFF on the ******* hex scale.

00:38:50 Squirrell
They're all the exact same.

00:38:51 Hurst
They're all white, but they just got fancy names.

00:38:54 Hurst
And that was kind of how I felt about the whole thing.

00:38:57 Hurst
Ah, pick one.

00:39:19 Hurst
That's right.

00:39:20 Hurst
So anyway, my number two is I'd do anything for love in brackets, but I won't do that.

00:39:25 Hurst
But how many times does he sing that in 12 minutes?

00:39:29 Squirrell
Does he have to say, but I won't do that or do we take the bracket bit away?

00:39:33 Hurst
We take the bracket bit away.

00:39:34 Hurst
If it's in brackets, it doesn't really count.

00:39:36 Squirrell
Okay, so it's how many times does he say I would do anything for love or I'd do anything for whatever.

00:39:43 Squirrell
He's got a lot of opportunity to say it, but I

00:39:44 Squirrell
I don't think he says it as often as some of his more poppy songs.

00:39:48 Squirrell
His ballads, he seems to say it less, but it's still, it's going to be a lot, 14, random number.

00:39:53 Hurst
Twenty-nine.

00:39:54 Hurst
Twenty-nine times.

00:39:57 Hurst
He does Hammer at Home, but again, it is a twelve-minute title.

00:40:00 Hurst
Actually, to me, that's less impressive than the 16 times he did the half-tooty blessed song.

00:40:05 Squirrell
We should do it a per minute version.

00:40:07 Squirrell
Yeah, well, I did start doing that.

00:40:09 Squirrell
I got a bit bored of myself at that point.

00:40:14 Hurst
Didn't make for very interesting reading because they were all fairly similar.

00:40:18 Squirrell
All right.

00:40:19 Squirrell
Well, there we are.

00:40:19 Squirrell
And we have reached the worst hurst.

00:40:30 Squirrell
Oh, I go first.

00:40:30 Squirrell
I keep forgetting because it's so off with you.

00:40:34 Squirrell
There was a period hurst at the end of the 80s where they were trying to use all the new modern fantasy synthesizer **** in what felt like every song in the late 80s.

00:40:46 Squirrell
My worst is from 86.

00:40:47 Squirrell
It's called

00:40:49 Squirrell
A man and a woman, and it's from the album Blind Before I Stop.

00:41:16 Squirrell
Wasn't released as a UK single, and that's a ******* blessing as far as English will be aware.

00:41:21 Squirrell
It's not very good.

00:41:23 Squirrell
It's got like a very synthesized electronic, almost Caribbean drum beat throughout the whole thing.

00:41:30 Squirrell
And it's just boring.

00:41:33 Squirrell
It was written by someone called Frank Farian and recorded in Germany, weirdly, I've got in my notes.

00:41:39 Squirrell
And the female vocalist, you know, the ones that shop so often on the meatloaf drums, was Amy Goff, which is a G-O-F-F, pretty German sounding name.

00:41:49 Squirrell
And yeah, it's got like keyboards and Euro ******* electronic production and any of the, I'm gonna say it because I'm gonna say it,

00:42:02 Squirrell
The usual distinctiveness that Meatloaf has that separates him from everybody else and makes it very obvious that this is a Meatloaf song and this is a song by someone who isn't Meatloaf is pretty much just lost with like generic crappy guitar work.

00:42:17 Squirrell
And it's not spectacularly disastrous.

00:42:19 Squirrell
It's just ******* anonymous.

00:42:21 Squirrell
And like I said earlier, a Meatloaf song should sound like you are watching a ******* divorce proceeding in Wembley Stadium.

00:42:27 Squirrell
This sounds like someone announcing that the restaurant is going to close short as a song.

00:42:33 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:42:33 Squirrell
Didn't like it.

00:42:34 Squirrell
Rubbish.

00:42:35 Squirrell
A man and a woman.

00:42:36 Squirrell
You can hear it in the background and I apologize for that.

00:42:40 Squirrell
You can't hear it.

00:42:41 Squirrell
The people are.

00:42:42 Hurst
No, I was just leaving a gap for the people to enjoy it.

00:42:45 Squirrell
Well, no, they won't enjoy it.

00:42:46 Squirrell
It's terrible.

00:42:46 Hurst
To not enjoy it.

00:42:48 Hurst
Sorry guys, I've got another one for you that you can listen to.

00:42:54 Hurst
There's equally at least his 10th best song.

00:42:57 Squirrell
So it's going to be ******* fantastic.

00:42:59 Hurst
Well, I know, because I did, I did then research into what is Meatloaf's worst song, and I took a bit of a straw poll from that, from what people thought, and then I listened to those as well.

00:43:09 Squirrell
What do people think it is?

00:43:11 Squirrell
I bet a man and a woman doesn't do bad in that.

00:43:14 Hurst
Yeah, it doesn't.

00:43:15 Hurst
It's right up there.

00:43:16 Hurst
But it's not the one I chose.

00:43:18 Hurst
Oh, okay.

00:43:18 Hurst
I chose 2003's You're Right, I was Wrong.

00:43:53 Hurst
It's 3 minutes, 44 seconds just to chuck into a real generic time stamp as well.

00:43:58 Hurst
And this one was written by Diane Warren.

00:44:02 Hurst
It's obviously not an Epstein, an Epstein.

00:44:06 Hurst
Obviously not a Steinman one.

00:44:07 Squirrell
Which is famous, right?

00:44:08 Hurst
Yeah, considering, I mean, it's the same long repetitive stuff, only the hyperbole and declarations are so bland and uninspiring as to render the whole song pointless.

00:44:18 Hurst
We're talking his declarations of love so far have been, I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way tonight.

00:44:25 Hurst
I'd run right into hell and back for you.

00:44:28 Hurst
I'd sell my soul for you.

00:44:30 Hurst
This is, I would not do that for anyone.

00:44:32 Hurst
Love Carly, but no, I'm not selling my soul.

00:44:34 Hurst
I need that.

00:44:35 Hurst
I'm not going into hell because, you know,

00:44:38 Hurst
you're assuming you can get back, but it's famously difficult to get out.

00:44:42 Hurst
So, but I mean, those are the, this is the level that's time and a meet are working on.

00:44:46 Hurst
It's like, grand, I love you so much that I can't even explain it.

00:44:50 Hurst
Whereas this one.

00:44:52 Hurst
You're right, I was wrong.

00:44:54 Hurst
That's your that's your big declaration, isn't it?

00:44:56 Hurst
That sounds like the most reluctant love song in history.

00:44:59 Hurst
But the thing is, Diane Warren is one of the most successful pop songwriters ever.

00:45:02 Hurst
So she wrote, Because You Love Me by Celine Dion, Unbreak My Heart by Tony Crap.

00:45:09 Hurst
How do I live, Leanne Rimes and I'd lie for you.

00:45:12 Squirrell
That's the truth.

00:45:13 Squirrell
Number 2, that one got to you.

00:45:14 Hurst
So she's capable of hitting that meatloaf sweet spot, but yeah, just a swing and a miss from everyone.

00:45:20 Hurst
Dull performance, dull.

00:45:22 Squirrell
Song just as you can hear in the background.

00:45:25 Hurst
You're right.

00:45:26 Hurst
I was wrong.

00:45:27 Hurst
Like the words that almost never get said anyway.

00:45:29 Squirrell
Well, maybe that's why it is.

00:45:31 Hurst
Especially not on the internet.

00:45:32 Squirrell
The internet doesn't understand what that means.

00:45:39 Squirrell
Enough about the worst, Hurst.

00:45:40 Squirrell
Let's talk about the worst, Hurst.

00:45:49 Squirrell
This comes as no surprise to anyone that knows me, but the number one meatloaf song and very high up on the list of best songs ever ******* written was, unsurprisingly, by Jim Steinman.

00:46:02 Squirrell
It is Paradise by the Dashboard Light, and it is incredible.

00:46:39 Squirrell
It is the story of an entire relationship in a mere mumble mumble minutes.

00:46:48 Squirrell
Yeah, it's about 8 1/2 minutes.

00:46:49 Squirrell
And it stayed at number one in the Netherlands for 23 weeks.

00:46:54 Squirrell
They ******* loved it over there.

00:46:56 Squirrell
But this was Meatloaf dueting with Ellen Foley.

00:46:59 Squirrell
She was the singer.

00:47:00 Squirrell
She wasn't in the video.

00:47:01 Squirrell
But this is the song about a young, again, teenage couple getting together.

00:47:08 Squirrell
Meatloaf persuades her to let him bang her.

00:47:11 Squirrell
They swears that he's going to love each other till the end of time.

00:47:16 Squirrell
And then they just shout at each other about

00:47:18 Squirrell
wishing the end of time could come a little bit quicker so we could end our time with you.

00:47:26 Squirrell
Oh Lord, I love this song so much.

00:47:28 Squirrell
I remember playing it for my child when he was fairly young and we were driving somewhere, I was in the car and it kind of got to the end.

00:47:36 Squirrell
I was like, what did you think?

00:47:37 Squirrell
And he was like, it was like.

00:47:38 Squirrell
Five different songs and all of them are good.

00:47:40 Squirrell
And I'm like, yes, that is exactly what it is.

00:47:43 Squirrell
It is excellent.

00:47:45 Squirrell
Fortunately, I'm not sure he was old enough to understand what was going on in some bits of the song.

00:47:49 Squirrell
But yeah, and obviously he has baseball commentary in the middle as an allegory for the sex thing.

00:47:57 Squirrell
And yeah, and lifelong commitment and immediate buyer's remorse.

00:48:01 Squirrell
It is.

00:48:02 Squirrell
Somehow not depressing though.

00:48:03 Squirrell
It is such a fun song.

00:48:06 Squirrell
It's great to sing.

00:48:08 Squirrell
It's one of the good ones to sing at karaoke if you've got somebody else that knows the words that is going to do the girl part.

00:48:13 Squirrell
And I'm normally the one that does the girl part, but only because I know the words.

00:48:16 Squirrell
And it is ridiculous in its ******* scale and ambition for such a non-story.

00:48:24 Squirrell
Again, it's just ******* meatloafed and Steinman up the wazoo and it's just glorious and it warns us.

00:48:32 Squirrell
why we should think before we make promises we might not want to keep.

00:49:12 Squirrell
So, there we are.

00:49:14 Squirrell
That is my #1 Paradise by the Dashboard Light from the album Bat Out of Hell.

00:49:18 Squirrell
Came out in 78 again, same as we did.

00:49:20 Squirrell
And it's just glorious.

00:49:22 Squirrell
Yeah, there we go.

00:49:25 Squirrell
What do you like?

00:49:27 Squirrell
Fact and an estimated fact hurts.

00:49:29 Hurst
Yeah, well, I think I would.

00:49:32 Squirrell
Fact.

00:49:33 Squirrell
Meatloaf had an affair with Alan Foley shortly after recording this song.

00:49:40 Squirrell
Or

00:49:41 Squirrell
In fact, the baseball commentary was by the New York Yankees commentary man, Phil Rizzutu, but he claims to have not realized it was a sexual metaphor.

00:49:53 Hurst
Hmm, I think the second one.

00:49:56 Squirrell
You are entirely correct, Hirst.

00:49:58 Squirrell
He did indeed claim that.

00:49:59 Squirrell
Meatloaf said that's ********.

00:50:01 Squirrell
He was fully aware of what he was doing and why he was doing it.

00:50:05 Squirrell
And when you listen to what he's saying...

00:50:07 Hurst
If he didn't, it's on him.

00:50:09 Squirrell
Maybe, maybe.

00:50:11 Squirrell
But there you are.

00:50:12 Squirrell
Oh God, I love that song.

00:50:14 Squirrell
And I'm just going to keep talking for a little while longer so the people at home can hear more of it.

00:50:21 Squirrell
There you go.

00:50:21 Squirrell
That's it.

00:50:22 Squirrell
We're done.

00:50:22 Squirrell
What about you, Hers?

00:50:23 Hurst
My #1 song is probably unsurprising given the way I've approached this and the objective, what is the meat loafiest song of all the songs?

00:50:32 Hurst
And it's the one that they used as the title of the musical they made to backfill all the musical songs that they'd written.

00:50:39 Hurst
And it's Bat Out of Hell from 1977, writer Jim Steinman, of course.

00:51:24 Hurst
Nine minutes and 50 seconds, of course, a two-minute intro.

00:51:28 Squirrell
Again, motorbikes, guitars.

00:51:30 Hurst
Yeah, I just, it's a winning form and I suppose if you find a money tree, just keep shaking it.

00:51:36 Hurst
So it's his signature song and in spite of being 10 minutes long, still became one of the defining rock songs of the 70s.

00:51:43 Hurst
It's good.

00:51:46 Hurst
I probably won't listen to it again for a while, but if it came on, I wouldn't necessarily skip it.

00:51:50 Hurst
Maybe after like 5 minutes, I'll be like, right, yeah, that'll do.

00:51:53 Hurst
But yeah, it's an all right song.

00:51:55 Hurst
It's definitely a pale eggshell.

00:51:58 Squirrell
Oh, in the pink colour.

00:51:59 Hurst
I get it.

00:51:59 Squirrell
Call back.

00:52:00 Squirrell
I get it.

00:52:00 Hurst
I get it.

00:52:01 Hurst
How many times does he say or sing bat out of hell in that 10 minutes?

00:52:06 Hurst
No, I was coming out.

00:52:08 Hurst
I said 10 minutes, 8 minutes because 2 minutes is intro.

00:52:11 Squirrell
It was quite out last time because again, I think this one, this one's a very wordy song.

00:52:15 Squirrell
But I don't think he says it as often as you might think.

00:52:18 Squirrell
At the end, he does do the lug about a little bit over and over again.

00:52:22 Squirrell
What was anything for love?

00:52:24 Squirrell
It's 29.

00:52:26 Squirrell
No, it's not.

00:52:29 Squirrell
It's like 13.

00:52:32 Hurst
Once again, within one.

00:52:34 Squirrell
Come on, 14.

00:52:36 Hurst
No, 12.

00:52:37 Hurst
They're both.

00:52:41 Hurst
Mulligan missed.

00:52:44 Hurst
Yeah, it's.

00:52:45 Hurst
Yeah, 12 times title.

00:52:47 Hurst
It's just classic meatloaf.

00:52:49 Hurst
I may find myself at some point in the future in the mood for the genericness of it.

00:52:54 Hurst
And I would, as I say, two out of three ain't bad.

00:52:56 Hurst
I would listen to anyway because I like the song.

00:52:59 Squirrell
It's a good song.

00:53:00 Hurst
And you took the words right out of my mouth, I would probably listen to just so I could hear the beginning and smile to myself.

00:53:05 Hurst
I wouldn't say I'm a convert, but I have more.

00:53:09 Hurst
more knowledge about meatloaf than I did have before.

00:53:12 Squirrell
Well isn't that just what we want to impart upon the world anyway H we are here to inform and entertain and if we can achieve one of those things we've done okay.

00:53:22 Hurst
Yeah would you like a fact and an estimated fact about meatloaf about just meatloaf yes something yes fact do

00:53:31 Hurst
During a concert, Prince collapsed after an electric shock from a faulty guitar.

00:53:37 Hurst
Meatloaf said he rushed over to help him and in the confusion accidentally stepped on him.

00:53:46 Squirrell
I hope so.

00:53:46 Hurst
Fact.

00:53:48 Hurst
Whilst filming Rocky Horror Picture Show, Meatloaf was introduced to pork scratchings by Richard O'Brien and reportedly ordered 2 kilos of them so he could snack on them throughout the rest of filming.

00:53:59 Squirrell
Oh, because it was filmed in the UK.

00:54:01 Squirrell
And as we know, I believe they are the number one UK biz snake.

00:54:05 Squirrell
I can't remember.

00:54:07 Hurst
So they're absolutely the most British things.

00:54:09 Hurst
Like, what you got there?

00:54:10 Hurst
How's some pigskin?

00:54:11 Squirrell
Oh, I kind of want them both to be true.

00:54:13 Squirrell
What excellent things.

00:54:14 Squirrell
But let's just fingers crossed that he stepped on Prince because that's hilarious.

00:54:18 Hurst
He did.

00:54:19 Hurst
In fact, during the concert, Prince collapsed after an electric shock from a faulty guitar.

00:54:23 Hurst
And as we both rushed over to help him in the confusion, he accidentally stepped on him.

00:54:29 Squirrell
And Meatloaf is not a little dude.

00:54:32 Hurst
He is not an inconsiderable man.

00:54:36 Squirrell
There we are.

00:54:36 Squirrell
Good fact.

00:54:38 Hurst
There we go.

00:54:39 Hurst
We both got that right.

00:54:41 Squirrell
Yeah, we did.

00:54:41 Squirrell
We're good at our facts first, and we're good at ranking Meatloaf songs because we're already done.

00:54:47 Squirrell
There we are.

00:54:47 Squirrell
We're at the end.

00:54:48 Hurst
We are at the end.

00:54:50 Hurst
I suppose all that's left is, obviously, we've got to pick what's on the next episode.

00:54:54 Hurst
We must be near the last episode of this season or something.

00:54:56 Squirrell
Two more to go after this one.

00:54:59 Squirrell
The next episode will be the penultimate one.

00:55:01 Hurst
Let's find out what that's going to be, or should we do our call-outs first?

00:55:07 Hurst
I can't remember.

00:55:07 Squirrell
No, we do the wheel first.

00:55:08 Hurst
We do the wheel first.

00:55:10 Squirrell
Hurst, do you see the wheel?

00:55:12 Hurst
I can see the wheel.

00:55:13 Hurst
Actually, you've done pretty well there.

00:55:14 Squirrell
All right.

00:55:15 Squirrell
I will keep very still.

00:55:16 Squirrell
And for those of you at home that don't know what the ****** going on, I'm holding my webcam in front of my monitor so Hurst can see the wheel.

00:55:22 Squirrell
Well, let's hope you get one that you are looking forward to.

00:55:26 Squirrell
Malks.

00:55:27 Squirrell
Malk chose that one.

00:55:29 Squirrell
Shocker.

00:55:29 Squirrell
Top Five brown things.

00:55:32 Squirrell
Top Five sports mascots.

00:55:34 Squirrell
All right, let's go.

00:55:35 Squirrell
All right.

00:55:37 Squirrell
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:55:39 Squirrell
Movie opening sequences.

00:55:41 Hurst
Oh, blimey.

00:55:42 Squirrell
Oh, OK.

00:55:45 Hurst
Well, that's quite good because you only have to watch maybe 5 or 10 minutes of each movie to judge it.

00:55:50 Squirrell
Well, that's I think you're probably about right, Or do we say...

00:55:54 Squirrell
Until the title comes up.

00:55:56 Hurst
Because recently, in modern times, the title doesn't always come up.

00:56:00 Hurst
It just starts.

00:56:01 Squirrell
But they don't get to count then.

00:56:02 Hurst
I think it's one of those things.

00:56:04 Hurst
We go back to a harp on about big man action movies.

00:56:07 Hurst
You just know what the sequence is.

00:56:09 Squirrell
You know what the opening sequence.

00:56:12 Squirrell
Yeah, that feels right.

00:56:14 Squirrell
Some will end at the title card.

00:56:15 Squirrell
Some of the title card will come before, but it will just be the first bit of the movie.

00:56:19 Hurst
Yeah.

00:56:20 Squirrell
Interesting.

00:56:21 Squirrell
I've been able to think of the top five.

00:56:22 Squirrell
I mean, I already know my number one, so that's easy, but the rest.

00:56:26 Squirrell
Let's find out.

00:56:27 Squirrell
Well, let me have a quick peep at who suggested that one for us.

00:56:32 Squirrell
Oh, Meat Loaf Songs was COV.

00:56:34 Squirrell
Probably have mentioned that.

00:56:35 Hurst
Bit of vote for you then, out of pure rage from my disdain, out of thought.

00:56:39 Squirrell
Probably.

00:56:39 Squirrell
Movie opening sequences was suggested by Hurst, I have written here.

00:56:43 Squirrell
So, good suggestion, Hurst.

00:56:45 Hurst
Thanks.

00:56:46 Hurst
I don't remember.

00:56:49 Squirrell
This could have been two years ago.

00:56:51 Squirrell
A year ago, rather, yeah.

00:56:52 Squirrell
So yes, that one was suggested by Hurst.

00:56:55 Squirrell
Thank you, Hurst.

00:56:56 Squirrell
Today's topic, meatloaf, was suggested by Kovach.

00:56:58 Squirrell
Number one Kovach.

00:56:59 Squirrell
So thank you very much, Kovach.

00:57:02 Squirrell
I hope one of us did a good job.

00:57:05 Hurst
I think we both did a good job.

00:57:06 Squirrell
But only one of us would have done the correct.

00:57:08 Squirrell
No.

00:57:09 Squirrell
Exactly.

00:57:09 Squirrell
Cool.

00:57:09 Squirrell
Well, not much left to tell you, Rankers, other than that.

00:57:13 Squirrell
You can find us on the internet by just typing Top Five Face Off into the Google.

00:57:19 Squirrell
And it will spit out all sorts of things that you can do.

00:57:21 Squirrell
But do come to our website, topfivefaceoff.co.uk and vote for our winner.

00:57:26 Hurst
Do not forget to vote.

00:57:28 Hurst
And also, do not forget to tell a friend and get them to vote.

00:57:32 Squirrell
And don't just vote for Hearst because he's sad.

00:57:36 Hurst
Let's get these things right.

00:57:37 Hurst
I'm trying to be objective with this one.

00:57:40 Squirrell
Yes.

00:57:41 Squirrell
And absolutely, if you enjoyed yourself, tell a friend or a member of your family about how great Top Five Face-Off is.

00:57:46 Squirrell
And if you didn't enjoy it, just be quiet and contemplate your mistakes.

00:57:50 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:57:52 Hurst
Yeah, come on, get a friend involved.

00:57:54 Hurst
Let's get over 100 votes for one episode before the end of the season.

00:57:58 Squirrell
We've only got two more episodes before the end of the season, as we've left this.

00:58:01 Hurst
All right, Which means that everyone can get, everyone can get one person, everyone who votes can get one other person to vote, and we're double down.

00:58:08 Hurst
Or everyone who listens votes.

00:58:09 Squirrell
Yeah, well that's that would actually, that would...

00:58:13 Squirrell
Just think, just think, if you haven't voted, think, oh, this will be the time.

00:58:17 Squirrell
I'll get a Top Five Face Off.co again.

00:58:19 Squirrell
I just, it's right there on the homepage.

00:58:20 Squirrell
Just click.

00:58:21 Squirrell
Vote for squirrel or vote first.

00:58:23 Hurst
Yeah, that'd be mad.

00:58:26 Squirrell
There you go.

00:58:27 Squirrell
What else do we talk about here?

00:58:29 Hurst
If you want to support us financially, there are two ways.

00:58:33 Hurst
Obviously, you can buy arts from me.

00:58:35 Hurst
That helps me with all that it does squirrel.

00:58:37 Squirrell
Get a little bit more.

00:58:38 Hurst
You can also be a Patreon.

00:58:41 Hurst
A tiny sum of 1 pound.

00:58:43 Hurst
There's like 2 left.

00:58:45 Squirrell
Two left a pound.

00:58:47 Hurst
So yeah, get on that.

00:58:48 Hurst
And then after that, 2 pounds is entry level.

00:58:50 Hurst
Or if you want to be a birdie big ******** then go the full 5 pounds and become a number one ranker.

00:58:56 Squirrell
And then you will get to hear your name.

00:59:00 Squirrell
Not often like this, but this time it's like this.

01:02:21 Hurst
So there we go.

01:02:23 Hurst
Thank you very much for listening and for voting and just for the love.

01:02:29 Squirrell
Thanks for the love, Rankers.

01:02:31 Hurst
We'll see you next time for movie intro sequences.

01:02:34 Squirrell
Movie intro sequences.

01:02:37 Squirrell
Please rewind this podcast for the next people that want to listen and we will see you next time for movie intro sequences.

01:02:47 Squirrell
**** it.

01:02:47 Squirrell
Wind it up.

01:02:48 Squirrell
We're done.

01:02:50 Hurst
I'll see you later, Anchors.

01:02:53 Squirrell
Love you.

01:02:58 Harriet
Top Five Face Off is presented by Matt Hurst and Matt Squirrel and produced by Powerstorm Awesome Fire Incorporated.

01:03:05 Harriet
For more details and to vote for winner, visit topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

01:03:10 Harriet
Thanks for listening.

01:03:24 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

01:03:30 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

01:03:34 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

01:03:37 Robo-Katy Perry
Top Five Face Off.

01:03:42 Hurst
This guy did have some particularly good sized rocks.

01:03:45 Squirrell
Did he?

01:03:54 Hurst
Enough about the worst Hurst.

01:03:56 Squirrell
Well, it doesn't make sense though, because then I...

01:03:59 Hurst
Let's talk about the first Hurst.

01:04:01 Squirrell
Oh, yeah, that could have been it.

01:04:03 Squirrell
Oh, there we are.

01:04:03 Squirrell
Don't buy for that at the end, everybody.

01:04:11 Squirrell
There's someone at the door hers.

01:04:13 Hurst
No, the dogs have just been *****.

01:04:17 Squirrell
Is a song called Midnight and the Lost and Found from the Coin of Destiny.

01:04:22 Squirrell
That's just landed.

01:04:23 Squirrell
That was the biggest flip ever.

01:04:27 Hurst
And it's Squirrel, but we were right for you.

01:04:31 Squirrell
All right, get back on there and stay there.

01:04:34 Squirrell
Don't fall off because I don't want to lose you.

01:04:37 Squirrell
All right, OK.

01:04:40 Squirrell
What the **** was I saying before?

01:04:41 Squirrell
I said rudely interrupted by the coin of destiny.

01:04:47 Hurst
Now the Malcolm's can put their little pocketbooks away and not have to send in the rodsters.

01:04:51 Squirrell
Just leave that entire free minute of us searching the internet section in.

01:04:55 Squirrell
Yeah.

01:04:57 Hurst
All right, then let the Malcolm's write in.

01:04:59 Hurst
Let them have their fun.

01:05:01 Hurst
Except for the ones who listen through the beeps at the end and they can find out.

01:05:08 Squirrell
And then you will get to hear your name.

01:05:11 Squirrell
Not often like this, but this time it's like this.

01:05:15 Squirrell
Insert song.

01:05:17 Hurst
Yeah.

01:05:17 Squirrell
Nine hours later, continue.