S02E24: Movie Opening Sequences

Transcript

00:00:00 Squirrell
We sent in two units, they're bringing it down now.

00:00:02 Squirrell
No, your men are already dead.

00:00:04 Hurst
Said Bane.

00:00:06 Squirrell
Yeah, apparently.

00:00:08 Harriet
Top Five Face-Off contains adult themes and language that some people may find offensive.

00:00:13 Harriet
Listener discretion is advised.

00:00:16 Squirrell
He's Matt Hurst.

00:00:17 Hurst
He's Matt Squirrel.

00:00:18 Squirrell
This is Top Five Face-Off, the official world ranking of everything.

00:00:21 Squirrell
What are we ranking today, Hurst?

00:00:23 Hurst
Well, Squirrel, today we're going to be ranking movie opening sequences.

00:00:27 Squirrell
Coming right up after this.

00:00:30 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than one, then there's a best and a worst.

00:00:33 Robo-Katy Perry
If there's more than five, call Squirrel and Hurst.

00:00:36 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the top five face-off, actual fact.

00:00:40 Robo-Katy Perry
It's the top five face-off, the facts are exact.

00:00:44 Robo-Katy Perry
Top five face-off, top five face-off, official world ranking.

00:00:51 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, or good night, rankers.

00:00:56 Hurst
Welcome back.

00:00:56 Hurst
And if you're new to the show,

00:00:59 Hurst
Welcome.

00:00:59 Squirrell
Hello.

00:01:00 Hurst
Squirrel for all of our new rankers.

00:01:02 Hurst
Why don't you tell them what we do here and most importantly, why we're doing it?

00:01:06 Squirrell
Yes, hello new rankers.

00:01:08 Squirrell
This is Top Five Face Off the official world rankings of everything.

00:01:11 Squirrell
Our Patreons choose topics for us to rank and we randomly choose the next one we'll be doing today of course.

00:01:17 Squirrell
Movie opening sequences suggested by...

00:01:20 Hurst
It was a good one.

00:01:21 Squirrell
And we choose the top five and the worst in that category.

00:01:25 Squirrell
The worst doesn't count.

00:01:26 Squirrell
You're just voting on the top five.

00:01:27 Squirrell
And when you vote, you go to www..topfivefaceoff.co.uk and choose your winner.

00:01:32 Hurst
What if no one's right though?

00:01:33 Squirrell
Somebody's always correct.

00:01:35 Hurst
That is true.

00:01:35 Hurst
That is how it works.

00:01:36 Hurst
So yeah, whoever's right becomes the official world rankings.

00:01:39 Squirrell
The official world ranking literally locked into history forever.

00:01:43 Hurst
Yeah, even if something better comes along, too bad, you weren't there at the right time.

00:01:46 Squirrell
Yeah, unless we actually have to redo one, which hasn't come up yet.

00:01:49 Hurst
No, it's early days in the world of ranking.

00:01:53 Hurst
Anyway, we don't like to get straight on with things, we like to be a little bit better.

00:01:59 Hurst
I like to warble on a little bit, hear the sound of my own voice.

00:02:02 Hurst
So what's been going on, Scru?

00:02:04 Squirrell
My wife and child are in Canada and have been all week and will be all next week.

00:02:09 Squirrell
So, you know, obviously I miss them loads and I hope

00:02:13 Squirrell
I hope they get back real soon.

00:02:15 Hurst
That's really sad that they left you behind like that.

00:02:17 Squirrell
It's a shame the people at home can't see how sad I am.

00:02:19 Hurst
His looks very sad.

00:02:21 Hurst
His smile has definitely not reached his eyes.

00:02:24 Squirrell
Shut up.

00:02:26 Squirrell
No, I like it.

00:02:27 Squirrell
Do you know one of my favourite things about being in the house on my own is I don't have to take my little toothbrush bit off the toothbrush.

00:02:33 Squirrell
I can just leave it there all the time.

00:02:34 Squirrell
For some reason.

00:02:35 Squirrell
I love that.

00:02:36 Hurst
That's fair enough.

00:02:37 Hurst
We've gotten really upper class and we've got an electric toothbrush each.

00:02:40 Squirrell
Oh, see, I've considered that so I don't have to take my thing off because I don't know, but it feels a bit much.

00:02:46 Hurst
It also means no one else is ever at fault when the toothbrushes run out of charge.

00:02:51 Squirrell
No, ours just kind of lives on the charger.

00:02:53 Squirrell
Does yours not?

00:02:53 Hurst
We don't have a socket in the bathroom, so you have to take it out to charge it.

00:02:57 Squirrell
Oh, yeah, I bet you do forget that.

00:02:58 Hurst
No, not really.

00:02:59 Hurst
I mean, it's got the little battery thing at the bottom.

00:03:01 Hurst
Once it gets down to two, I keep a little on it.

00:03:03 Hurst
If it decides to go under one, I might.

00:03:05 Hurst
Yeah, now's the moment.

00:03:06 Squirrell
If yours has run out, do you ever nick your wife's?

00:03:09 Hurst
No, mine's never run out.

00:03:11 Squirrell
Oh, right, okay.

00:03:12 Hurst
I'm actually quite efficient at that.

00:03:14 Hurst
There are many things at which I'm not efficient, but that's one of the things I'm going to get.

00:03:18 Squirrell
So how's the weather been?

00:03:19 Squirrell
******* just sun.

00:03:20 Squirrell
It hasn't rained here now.

00:03:22 Squirrell
It was meant to rain this last time, and it ******* didn't.

00:03:24 Squirrell
It's Sunday, Rankers.

00:03:25 Squirrell
And nothing.

00:03:27 Squirrell
The grass is, I know it's not technically dead, it's dormant.

00:03:29 Squirrell
It's ******* yellow, I'll tell you that.

00:03:31 Hurst
Yes, very yellow.

00:03:32 Hurst
Well, we actually did have a little bit of rain this morning.

00:03:34 Hurst
It was.

00:03:35 Hurst
It was a very exciting time.

00:03:36 Hurst
It trickled down a little bit and then it poured down.

00:03:39 Hurst
I was like, oh yes, this is going to be amazing news for the garden.

00:03:43 Hurst
I'm getting a bit tired of filling up watering cans and watering the plants with them.

00:03:47 Hurst
And I thought this would be great.

00:03:48 Hurst
And then 60 seconds later, the **** had stopped and the sun came back out again.

00:03:52 Hurst
Although, as rankers will know, that beautiful smell of petrichor that we discussed in one of our previous episodes, a smell that happens when it's been hot for a long time and then the rain hits the concrete, that was all around in the air.

00:04:04 Hurst
So at least I got to bask in the glory of that for a while.

00:04:07 Squirrell
Oh, there you go.

00:04:08 Squirrell
Been a month and a day since it rained in Bedford.

00:04:10 Hurst
Blimey.

00:04:12 Hurst
Speaking of watering cans and one of the plants, I found a beautiful little hack.

00:04:16 Hurst
So I've got a pond and it's got fish in and I'm not letting those ******* die.

00:04:21 Hurst
What I realised was that if I just put the hose into the watering can, which I used to fill it up anyway, I hold the watering can at a slight angle over the pond.

00:04:30 Hurst
So you're decanting.

00:04:32 Hurst
I'm decanting.

00:04:33 Hurst
So the hose is technically going through the watering can and the watering can is then the device

00:04:38 Hurst
So it's not really, technically, it's no different at all to filling it out with a hose and then going and watering it and then coming back and filling it up again.

00:04:48 Hurst
I'm just filling it out live.

00:04:50 Hurst
I thought what you were.

00:04:50 Squirrell
Going to say is you put your hose into the fish pond because you're allowed to, for animal welfare, use your hose and then you have a pump to get it out and you spray that around the garden.

00:05:00 Squirrell
What if I just ran tap into a bucket and used a pump to pump the stuff out of the bucket?

00:05:05 Squirrell
Technically okay.

00:05:06 Hurst
I mean, it's a bit too technical.

00:05:08 Hurst
I was just literally sticking the hose in, jabbing it right up the funnel of the watering can from the inside.

00:05:13 Hurst
It was just coming out through the spout and I was so pleased with myself.

00:05:17 Hurst
Happy days.

00:05:18 Hurst
Anything that made you feel old.

00:05:19 Squirrell
Realizing how old some of the films on this list are made me feel a bit old.

00:05:22 Squirrell
That often happens when we are talking about films across the ages.

00:05:26 Hurst
That is very true.

00:05:27 Hurst
Yeah, what's been making me feel old is I decided I wanted to start playing cricket.

00:05:32 Hurst
I've been talking about it for a couple of years.

00:05:34 Hurst
I made the plunge and actually got in touch with my local cricket club, Redford.

00:05:37 Hurst
They got back saying, yeah, come on down, have a go in the nets on a Thursday night.

00:05:40 Hurst
And I thought, excellent, I'll do that.

00:05:42 Hurst
And so being that I have a little bit of space in the garden, I thought I'll have a few practice deliveries across the garden just to make sure that I'm not going to be chucking the ball way out into the distance.

00:05:53 Squirrell
Oh, you're a bowler, are you?

00:05:54 Hurst
I was an all-rouder at school, but I haven't played for

00:05:57 Hurst
29 years.

00:05:58 Hurst
I was 18 last time I played and so it's been some time and I thought, okay.

00:06:03 Hurst
So I did 5 deliveries using various dog balls that were around the garden and then I had to go inside because I made my hamstrings.

00:06:15 Hurst
So that was a strong start.

00:06:17 Hurst
So when I did go down on the Thursday, I stretched off my hamstrings and my legs generally and my shoulders and gave myself a really good warm up.

00:06:25 Hurst
I thought I'm not going to fall foul to that.

00:06:26 Hurst
And I bowled reasonably well and actually I fatty quite well although it did hurt my shoulder a bit.

00:06:31 Hurst
But when I got home, I was in so much pain, I had to take two amitriptylines, 2 paracetamols, have a bath to soak the muscles and then go straight to bed.

00:06:42 Hurst
know what?

00:06:42 Hurst
This was on Thursday.

00:06:43 Hurst
It's now Sunday and I'm still aching.

00:06:46 Hurst
Thank you, rock'n'roll.

00:06:47 Hurst
So yeah, my mind has become much wiser in the ways of cricket.

00:06:52 Hurst
I was thinking about this earlier, knowing I was going to talk about it.

00:06:54 Hurst
I think since I last played cricket, I must have watched 1000 cricket matches in various different forms of the game.

00:07:00 Hurst
I have studied it without studying it relentlessly.

00:07:04 Hurst
So I know what a good shot looks like.

00:07:05 Hurst
Right.

00:07:06 Hurst
Sadly, however, as my mind has sharpened and understood the game better, my body has inverted

00:07:11 Hurst
honestly gotten way, way ****.

00:07:14 Hurst
Last time I played, I was 18, and I remember it just being able to steam in, bowl at pace accurately, and hit shots without aching, and then, get up the next morning and skip with joy.

00:07:27 Hurst
And yeah, no longer the case.

00:07:28 Hurst
I am an achy, achy old man, but yeah, it made me chuckle at 5 deliveries in the garden.

00:07:35 Hurst
I was like,

00:07:36 Hurst
I'm hoping to play cricket, but as long as I'm not aching for more days a week than I'm not, I'm going to try and persevere.

00:07:46 Squirrell
So what I'm hearing is physical exercise is bad for you and should be avoided.

00:07:50 Hurst
Yeah, it's pretty much it.

00:07:51 Squirrell
All right, nice.

00:07:52 Squirrell
And the top tip from top five face-off rankers, you're welcome.

00:07:56 Hurst
Anyway, that's some long chat.

00:07:58 Squirrell
That's a preamble.

00:07:59 Hurst
Probably the rankers aren't going to be privy to a lot of that dullness.

00:08:02 Hurst
Should we find out what happened last week?

00:08:04 Squirrell
Yes, let's do that.

00:08:06 Squirrell
So last week we were discussing meatloaf songs.

00:08:10 Hurst
Yes, we were.

00:08:10 Squirrell
There was a stranger on the last episode.

00:08:13 Squirrell
Some people couldn't hear us over the music.

00:08:15 Squirrell
Most people it was fine, but you were one of those people, right?

00:08:18 Squirrell
That couldn't hear us over the music.

00:08:20 Hurst
Yeah, I was travelling back from down south and I was with a cardi and we just couldn't hear the talking of the music.

00:08:26 Squirrell
Maybe 5% of people said the same thing.

00:08:28 Squirrell
So I dropped the volume and then I dropped it again in the end because people was talking there.

00:08:31 Squirrell
So do you know what that was?

00:08:33 Squirrell
Strange.

00:08:34 Squirrell
Anyway, let's read some comments.

00:08:36 Squirrell
Have we got some comments?

00:08:38 Squirrell
Wowzer.

00:08:39 Hurst
That never bodes well for me when you say it like that.

00:08:42 Squirrell
We got lots.

00:08:43 Squirrell
So the first one, as always, is from our friend Meg 98.

00:08:46 Hurst
Hey Meg.

00:08:47 Squirrell
A tough one this week.

00:08:48 Squirrell
Her utter lack of ears must have made the episode difficult for him, but the algorithm did mean he included Bat Out of Hell, which would surely be up there if today's episode was music intros and not movie intros.

00:08:59 Squirrell
But.

00:09:00 Squirrell
Unfortunately, Paradise won me over.

00:09:02 Squirrell
It always wins me over, says Meg 98, and she votes for me.

00:09:07 Hurst
When I was trying to think of, tell Carly, Paradise on the dashboard, which she said, I want squirrels #1.

00:09:13 Hurst
I couldn't remember what it was called, so I called it Windscreen of Love.

00:09:19 Squirrell
Basically the same.

00:09:20 Hurst
But it seemed in the same ballpark.

00:09:22 Hurst
So one for you.

00:09:23 Squirrell
One for me.

00:09:24 Squirrell
Next one.

00:09:26 Squirrell
Ollie Willoughby here, writing in for the first time.

00:09:28 Squirrell
I'm voting for Hurst because it'll make the one whose name I can't remember angry.

00:09:32 Squirrell
Thanks, Ollie.

00:09:35 Squirrell
Let's go with...

00:09:37 Squirrell
Paradise by the dashboard light is absolutely the best.

00:09:40 Squirrell
Brightens up any car journey.

00:09:42 Squirrell
Can the patrons have the six minutes where you are discussing Mr.

00:09:45 Squirrell
Loaf, please?

00:09:46 Squirrell
No name on that one who vote for me.

00:09:48 Squirrell
Six minutes when we were discussing me.

00:09:51 Squirrell
Did we chop a load out and say that?

00:09:53 Hurst
I don't know.

00:09:55 Squirrell
I don't really know what you're talking about there, Patreon.

00:09:57 Squirrell
I will probably listen to the episode again and try and figure it out.

00:10:00 Hurst
Yeah, jam it on the Patreon site.

00:10:03 Squirrell
This one just is.

00:10:06 Squirrell
So this one is a vote for me and it just says, and then her said, they all sound the same.

00:10:11 Squirrell
And there's the crying laughing face.

00:10:16 Squirrell
Not a reason to vote for someone, of course.

00:10:19 Squirrell
You vote for the list, not that Hurst was involved without meatloaf.

00:10:22 Squirrell
This one's a vote for you and it says,

00:10:24 Squirrell
What I'm hearing is, Hurst actually enjoyed Spice Girls in comparison to this episode.

00:10:29 Squirrell
From Laura, off of Matt and Laura, apparently ex-friends of the show.

00:10:32 Squirrell
Did you call them that?

00:10:33 Squirrell
I think you did.

00:10:34 Squirrell
I.

00:10:35 Hurst
Don't think I did.

00:10:35 Squirrell
I don't think you called them that.

00:10:38 Squirrell
I heard from Matt.

00:10:39 Hurst
And Laura of Matt and Laura, friends of the show.

00:10:42 Hurst
Anyway, they are obviously still friends of the show.

00:10:44 Squirrell
Well, there you are.

00:10:45 Squirrell
Well, they can change their name because...

00:10:47 Hurst
Who did you vote for?

00:10:48 Squirrell
You.

00:10:50 Squirrell
Ah, sweet.

00:10:50 Squirrell
Here we go, Hurst with a vote for you.

00:10:53 Squirrell
If you shuffled all his songs together, I'd still be waiting 12 minutes for the chorus, a key change, and someone to dramatically shout about love and motorcycles.

00:11:02 Squirrell
Agree with husband this week.

00:11:04 Squirrell
Now, Carly.

00:11:05 Squirrell
What?

00:11:06 Squirrell
What?

00:11:07 Squirrell
What?

00:11:07 Squirrell
You just complained about his songs, and then you voted for him.

00:11:10 Hurst
No, it was a general complaint about meatloaf, not my songs.

00:11:13 Squirrell
No, no, no, no, let me...

00:11:14 Squirrell
If you shuffled all his...

00:11:16 Squirrell
Oh, meatloafs.

00:11:17 Squirrell
She never uses the word meatloaf.

00:11:20 Hurst
We were in the car when she did it.

00:11:21 Hurst
She was like, yeah, you're absolutely right.

00:11:23 Hurst
This is just the same song happening over and over again.

00:11:26 Hurst
So that's where I got the vote.

00:11:28 Squirrell
But no, that's not why you should have got the vote.

00:11:31 Squirrell
You should have got the vote if your songs were better than my songs.

00:11:33 Squirrell
That's all.

00:11:34 Hurst
Yeah, but you can't tell the difference.

00:11:35 Hurst
You've got to pick someone and she did me.

00:11:38 Squirrell
All right.

00:11:38 Squirrell
I like the way she doesn't seem to understand how the show works and she's presented an episode.

00:11:46 Squirrell
I like it when the research for the show is an inconvenience.

00:11:49 Squirrell
So to hear Hurst just about put in the bare minimum effort for Meat Loaf after wasting untold hours watching, making notes on, and then typing up frankly epic dissertations for each one of the Infinite Fast and Furious movies, this was a massive disappointment.

00:12:03 Squirrell
No Meat Loaf Top Five is complete without Paradise by the Dashboard lights.

00:12:07 Squirrell
Easy win for Squirrel.

00:12:08 Squirrell
Or is it?

00:12:09 Squirrell
Because No Meat Loaf Top Five is complete without Bat Out of Hell?

00:12:12 Squirrell
Well, at least one of you included Hot Patootie Bless My Soul, which you shouldn't have

00:12:16 Squirrell
I guess work smarter, not harder.

00:12:18 Squirrell
Well played, Hurst.

00:12:19 Squirrell
Well played.

00:12:20 Squirrell
Matt, off of Matt and Laura, your longtime loyal bi-weekly parent ex-friends of the show.

00:12:26 Hurst
Well, we love you guys.

00:12:27 Hurst
Thanks for coming back.

00:12:28 Hurst
You just need to pipe up every now and then and obviously voting for me is useful.

00:12:32 Hurst
As long as I'm right.

00:12:34 Squirrell
Which I'm pretty sure.

00:12:35 Squirrell
Rocky Horror always wins.

00:12:36 Squirrell
Sorry, that's a vote for you.

00:12:38 Squirrell
There we are.

00:12:38 Squirrell
Good.

00:12:38 Squirrell
Yeah, right off one of his studio albums.

00:12:41 Squirrell
Hio here.

00:12:42 Squirrell
Trying my very best to fathom how anyone could describe a Meat Loaf Steinman song as generic.

00:12:47 Squirrell
Glad I didn't have to let it affect my vote though.

00:12:49 Squirrell
Too many people sleep on midnight at the lost and found.

00:12:52 Squirrell
It's incredible.

00:12:53 Squirrell
I agree.

00:12:53 Squirrell
Hio votes for me.

00:12:55 Squirrell
Thanks.

00:12:55 Hurst
Can't remember what that one was.

00:12:58 Squirrell
Jesus Christ.

00:12:59 Squirrell
How do I vote for giving up for the number ones?

00:13:02 Squirrell
Love from Sophia all the way from Germany.

00:13:04 Squirrell
Thanks, Sophia.

00:13:05 Squirrell
Hi, Sophia.

00:13:06 Squirrell
That's a vote for me.

00:13:07 Hurst
Long time listener, first time writer.

00:13:09 Squirrell
Apparently, yes.

00:13:10 Squirrell
They were one of the people that wrote to Hello at Top Five Face after Code.uk told me they couldn't hear properly from Germany.

00:13:15 Squirrell
So there we go.

00:13:16 Hurst
Sophia, thanks for joining in.

00:13:18 Hurst
Love to hear that.

00:13:19 Hurst
I mean, don't know that you voted for squirrel, but you know, you won't miss what you thought was right.

00:13:23 Squirrell
Some bugger's got to.

00:13:25 Squirrell
I am so indifferent to Meat Loaf, but to Hearst's credit, he actually picked the better songs in my opinion.

00:13:31 Squirrell
One excellent song on Scrull's list is not a top five make, and I've been told repeatedly to ignore the worst song.

00:13:37 Squirrell
Or yes, ignore the worst song.

00:13:38 Squirrell
Money Slinger out.

00:13:39 Squirrell
Thanks, Money Slinger.

00:13:40 Hurst
Oh, thanks, Money Slinger.

00:13:41 Squirrell
Doesn't say what the excellent song on my list is.

00:13:44 Squirrell
Points to Scrull for effort, but Hearst came along armed with enough Meat Loaf classics, well, of course, to fill an arena and still have room for an encore.

00:13:52 Squirrell
That's from One Good Leg.

00:13:53 Squirrell
Thanks, One Good Leg.

00:13:54 Hurst
A 25 minute encore.

00:13:56 Squirrell
Which would be not long enough.

00:13:58 Hurst
Which would be one song's choruses.

00:14:00 Squirrell
Who hurt you, Hurst?

00:14:01 Squirrell
When did the joy leave your soul?

00:14:03 Squirrell
What happened for you to lose your lust for life and ability to understand music?

00:14:07 Squirrell
Do you need a hug?

00:14:08 Squirrell
Says Trooper.

00:14:09 Squirrell
Thanks, Trooper.

00:14:10 Hurst
I had no hatred for it.

00:14:12 Hurst
I just didn't care for it.

00:14:14 Squirrell
Blasting out Meat Loaf at 7am has made me smile.

00:14:17 Squirrell
I think Hurst is broken.

00:14:18 Squirrell
Could he be rebooted?

00:14:19 Squirrell
Thanks, Kov, a happy Meat Loaf fan.

00:14:23 Squirrell
Thanks cough cough vote for me.

00:14:24 Squirrell
Come on, roll along, strap in.

00:14:26 Squirrell
Giving up for the number ones, Catchy.

00:14:28 Squirrell
Hello rockers, Davpaz here again.

00:14:31 Squirrell
I must admit, when I heard the topic was meatloaf songs, I did roll my eyes a bit, but you've won me over, gosh darn it.

00:14:37 Squirrell
Hurst almost grabbed it with the populist approach, but Squirrel bags my vote with Paradise by the Dashboard Light, a song that I was required to learn to sing by a young lady I knew at uni.

00:14:47 Squirrell
She insisted we do the long version on karaoke night and wouldn't sing it with anyone else.

00:14:52 Squirrell
later found out said lady brackets my best mate's girlfriend awkwardly close brackets was actually madly in love with me and was hoping us singing paradise by the dashboard light to each other would awaken some mutual feeling that I hadn't been aware of readers it did not yet another broken heart in my wake

00:15:11 Squirrell
It's not readers, it's listeners, Dave Paz.

00:15:13 Squirrell
Also, Becky at school once sang, I would do anything for love at me with a funny look in her eye.

00:15:18 Squirrell
Young Dave Paz was an oblivious moron who thought she was just being funny.

00:15:22 Squirrell
Thanks for the memories, Mr.

00:15:23 Squirrell
Loaf.

00:15:25 Squirrell
Thanks, Dave Paz.

00:15:27 Hurst
I was wondering if it was going to be like a crossover episode and it was actually secretly going to be Hayley Fox that had asked him to do this.

00:15:32 Squirrell
That would be amazing.

00:15:33 Squirrell
Can you imagine?

00:15:34 Hurst
This duet with him and poor visions would have been heartbroken.

00:15:39 Squirrell
And finally, my top 10 meatloaf songs are: Dead Ringer for Love, Bad Out of Hell, Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through, You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth, I'd Do Anything for Love Brackets, but I won't do that, I'd Live View Brackets, and That's True, It's all coming back to me now, two out of three, ain't Bad Paradise by the Dashboard Light, Midnight and Lost and Found.

00:15:56 Squirrell
They didn't put any punctuation in that.

00:15:58 Squirrell
You win because my favorite is on your list.

00:16:01 Squirrell
We don't know who that's from or why they decided to send us 10.

00:16:05 Squirrell
We do 5, but thank you.

00:16:07 Squirrell
Their favourite is on my list.

00:16:08 Squirrell
Paradise, I'd like to vote for Squirrel.

00:16:11 Hurst
Windscreen of Love takes it.

00:16:12 Squirrell
Windscreen of Love, yes.

00:16:13 Squirrell
What do you reckon Hers?

00:16:15 Hurst
I think it's you.

00:16:16 Squirrell
I'm shaking my head, listeners.

00:16:17 Squirrell
Really?

00:16:18 Squirrell
I got 33.

00:16:20 Squirrell
Oh, wow.

00:16:21 Squirrell
You got 35.

00:16:24 Hurst
Blimey, 68.

00:16:25 Hurst
That's good stuff, Frankers.

00:16:26 Hurst
That is a big jump.

00:16:27 Hurst
We're on our way.

00:16:30 Squirrell
Begging people to vote.

00:16:33 Squirrell
What is it?

00:16:34 Hurst
We've got one more episode after this.

00:16:36 Squirrell
Yeah, this is episode thirty-nine, so I thought it would be.

00:16:39 Squirrell
We could still do it.

00:16:40 Hurst
Rankers, we could still do it.

00:16:42 Hurst
We could hit the mighty 100 votes and then submit it for real market research.

00:16:46 Squirrell
Anyway, Hurst.

00:16:48 Hurst
Yes, brilliant stuff.

00:16:48 Squirrell
We need to hear the top five Meat Loaf songs.

00:16:51 Hurst
Oh, gosh darn.

00:16:51 Hurst
I'd never get my act together with them really, haven't I?

00:16:58 Hurst
At #5, if you took the words right out of my mouth.

00:17:04 Hurst
Number 4, the hot patootie of bless myself.

00:17:10 Hurst
At #3, two out of three, ain't bad.

00:17:15 Squirrell
At #2, I'd do anything for love, brackets, but I won't do that.

00:17:21 Hurst
And at #1, the greatest meatloaf song of all time ever, officially according to the important legitimate records of top five face-off, is Bat Out of Hell.

00:17:35 Squirrell
There we are, that is official, Hurst.

00:17:37 Squirrell
Let me close the vote on this one.

00:17:39 Hurst
All right, well, the main thing is that is now wrapped up, tucked away, put on the shelf for posterity, and it's time to find out

00:17:47 Hurst
What is the greatest movie opening sequence of all time?

00:17:52 Squirrell
Let's do it, Hus.

00:17:56 Squirrell
All right, Hus, time to get ranking.

00:17:58 Squirrell
How do we decide who goes first?

00:18:01 Hurst
We better flip the coin of destiny.

00:18:02 Squirrell
Excellent, because I happen to be holding it right now.

00:18:05 Squirrell
And how do I know what the results mean?

00:18:08 Hurst
Head's first, squirrels have tails.

00:18:12 Squirrell
Squirrels have tails too.

00:18:13 Hurst
I think so.

00:18:15 Hurst
Yeah, it's been quite a few.

00:18:17 Squirrell
I have many, many honourable mentions, man.

00:18:20 Hurst
Yeah, absolutely.

00:18:21 Hurst
And I think actually I'm going to do a sweeping shout out to the comedy intros because across the years they haven't reached the iconic status that

00:18:30 Hurst
would generally make a list like this, but some of them are just so funny, like coming to America when lines like, there's a very fine line between love and nausea, the royal penis is clean, and the white house.

00:18:44 Hurst
The holy grail with the introduction, like with the subtitles of the mooses, who framed Roger Rabbit when they have that whole, you think it's going to be a cartoon, and then Bosh, at the end they walk out and there's people who are, that's some really brilliant stuff for cartoons, and they weren't really competing because of

00:19:00 Hurst
the sheer scale of some of the things against.

00:19:02 Squirrell
The other thing I found about movie everything sequences, they were a lot longer than I thought they were in my head.

00:19:08 Squirrell
I actually measured the length of them.

00:19:09 Hurst
So did I.

00:19:10 Hurst
Oh, there we go.

00:19:11 Squirrell
I was going to test you on the length first.

00:19:13 Squirrell
If we've got the same list, this is going to be an easy game for you.

00:19:16 Hurst
Well, I've only got the ones that made my actual final, or my short list at the time, and I've deleted a lot of those ones anyway, because I needed to just focus in on what I had.

00:19:25 Hurst
So hopefully I can still play the game.

00:19:27 Hurst
Yeah, I've done the same.

00:19:28 Hurst
How we can both play the game?

00:19:29 Squirrell
We can both play the game.

00:19:30 Squirrell
And also some of mine, I would be like, oh yeah, that's a great opening sequence, like ******* Guardians of the Galaxy.

00:19:35 Squirrell
Wow, where he sings into those animals.

00:19:37 Squirrell
I love that.

00:19:37 Squirrell
Let's go watch it.

00:19:38 Squirrell
No, it's not actually the opening sequence.

00:19:40 Squirrell
I think it's like the one after the opening sequence.

00:19:42 Squirrell
You're like, oh, I can't use that one there.

00:19:44 Squirrell
Boo.

00:19:45 Hurst
There were a few like that, weren't there?

00:19:46 Hurst
And things that you thought you remembered being just sensational when you watched me again and you go, I don't know, it's not as good as I remember.

00:19:54 Squirrell
Possibly because I've just watched nine others.

00:19:56 Hurst
Also, but you watch something like The Goonies, and you love The Goonies because of the nostalgia.

00:19:59 Squirrell
Yes.

00:19:59 Hurst
And yeah, like the Fratellis escaping and driving around.

00:20:03 Squirrell
It's pretty cool.

00:20:06 Hurst
I remembered it being the best thing like ever.

00:20:09 Hurst
It wasn't even like Top Five0.

00:20:12 Hurst
I had a pretty good long list and I kept adding things to it as I thought of it as I powered through them.

00:20:17 Hurst
And I say some of them were really, really long and some of them were just nicely short.

00:20:22 Hurst
Really good mix.

00:20:23 Hurst
I've really enjoyed this one.

00:20:25 Hurst
Sorry guys who enjoy my hatred and difference.

00:20:29 Hurst
This one I really didn't enjoy.

00:20:31 Hurst
I've got.

00:20:32 Squirrell
There we are.

00:20:33 Squirrell
Shall we crack on?

00:20:34 Hurst
Let's do it.

00:20:34 Hurst
I want to hear what you've got in at #5.

00:20:36 Squirrell
My #5 first, 1996 Scream by Wes Craven, written by Kevin Williamson.

00:20:43 Squirrell
So A, how is this 30 years old?

00:20:45 Squirrell
B, Scream was Wes Craven's movie with Ghostface with the knife.

00:20:50 Squirrell
You know what it is because it's still got sequels coming out now.

00:20:52 Squirrell
There was one a couple of months ago, I think.

00:20:54 Squirrell
But on the front of the poster for the original Scream, the main focus, the main character was Drew Barrymore.

00:21:00 Squirrell
90s Drew Barrymore was

00:21:02 Squirrell
******* something else.

00:21:03 Squirrell
90s Drew Barrymore was lovely.

00:21:06 Squirrell
And she dies in the opening sequence.

00:21:07 Squirrell
The opening sequence is all about how Drew Barrymore's character, Casey, can't remember, literally watched it, dies.

00:21:15 Squirrell
She was originally asked to play Sidney, who's the lead, but it was Drew Barrymore's idea that she plays the girl that dies in the opening sequence.

00:21:21 Squirrell
So kudos, Drew Barrymore.

00:21:22 Squirrell
But anyway, basically what happens is she gets a phone call while she's making popcorn and it's someone she doesn't know.

00:21:28 Squirrell
And then he was like, and these all scares her.

00:21:31 Squirrell
And then she has to answer questions about scary movies and she gets them wrong so her boyfriend dies and then she gets them wrong so she dies.

00:21:38 Squirrell
And ******* brilliant.

00:21:39 Squirrell
It could be a little short, scary film on its own.

00:21:42 Squirrell
It's really good.

00:21:43 Squirrell
It is the best bit of that film.

00:21:45 Squirrell
And I like that film A lot.

00:21:47 Squirrell
And there's a line from it that everyone remembers.

00:21:49 Squirrell
Do you like scary movies?

00:21:51 Squirrell
It's ********.

00:21:52 Squirrell
That is not the line from this.

00:21:53 Squirrell
The line from this is where he says, what's your name?

00:21:56 Squirrell
She's like, why do you want to know?

00:21:57 Squirrell
He's like, because I want to know who I'm looking at.

00:21:59 Squirrell
That's the ******* line.

00:22:00 Squirrell
That's the whole thing.

00:22:02 Squirrell
changes and you're like, oh **** this isn't a cute phone call.

00:22:04 Squirrell
And the ending is brutal.

00:22:06 Squirrell
He's stabbed her a bit just as her parents are coming home.

00:22:08 Squirrell
He's also punched her in the neck so she can't talk and she's right there and she's going and they can't hear her and then ******* in they go and they pick up the phone to call the police because the house is all ****** ** and she's still on the phone and they can hear her dying.

00:22:20 Squirrell
Oh my god, ******* brilliant.

00:22:21 Squirrell
Number 5, Scream.

00:22:23 Squirrell
Now Hurst, fun times.

00:22:25 Squirrell
I've timed all the opening sequences.

00:22:27 Squirrell
How long do you think the opening segment of Scream was?

00:22:31 Hurst
I've gone mine to the nearest minute because there's always that kind of bit of credits and stuff as well.

00:22:35 Hurst
So I went nearest minute.

00:22:36 Hurst
So I didn't actually see that one.

00:22:39 Hurst
It's 6 minutes.

00:22:40 Squirrell
12 minutes and 37 seconds.

00:22:43 Squirrell
So there you are.

00:22:45 Squirrell
If it feels longer than you remember.

00:22:48 Hurst
Yeah, well.

00:22:48 Hurst
Except your junk.

00:22:50 Hurst
I'll remember that next time I'm going to make a guess.

00:22:53 Squirrell
Just double it up, yeah.

00:22:54 Squirrell
All right.

00:22:54 Hurst
Fair play.

00:22:55 Hurst
My #5 is Casino Royale from 2006, 20 years ago.

00:23:00 Hurst
2006, that first Daniel Craig James Bond, for anyone who wants to be alarmed.

00:23:05 Hurst
So it's filmed in film noir high contrast black and white, and it's basically a nervous looking dude, gets in a glass lift, clearly not at his ease, enters his office, and just as he thinks he's alone, James Bond pipes up.

00:23:19 Hurst
Emma really doesn't mind you earning a little money on the side, Dryden.

00:23:22 Hurst
She'd just prefer it if it wasn't selling secrets because Bond's in his office.

00:23:26 Hurst
So he sits down, checks his guns in his drawer and he gets well cocky.

00:23:30 Hurst
He scoffs at Bond because he knows that he isn't even like a double A and he's all like.

00:23:34 Hurst
If M was short, she would have sent a 00 and I'm section chief, so I'd know if you were and you're not.

00:23:38 Hurst
So ha! Then he totally plays into Bond's hand and like a prized plum, he says, you have to have two kills to be a 00 and you haven't even got any.

00:23:46 Hurst
So the scene then cuts to Bond having a massive fight in a toilet with some dude still in film noir, ******* brutal stuff, which is clearly going to be his first kill.

00:23:54 Hurst
And it cuts back to Dryden, who whips out his gun from the drawer, pulls a smug little face and says, shame, we barely got to know each other.

00:24:01 Hurst
He points the gun,

00:24:02 Hurst
He pulls the trigger, which just clicks flaccidly a couple of times.

00:24:06 Hurst
And Bond goes, I know where you keep your gun.

00:24:08 Hurst
I guess that's something.

00:24:10 Hurst
Dryden looks nervous and asks how his contact died.

00:24:13 Hurst
And Bond says, not well.

00:24:15 Hurst
Then it cuts him back through, finishing off this dude in the toilet, smashing **** up, rose all.

00:24:20 Hurst
And then Dryden goes, made you feel it, did he?

00:24:23 Hurst
Well, you needn't worry.

00:24:24 Hurst
The second is, and then boink, Bon fires the silence gun right into his forehead and says, yes, considerably.

00:24:32 Hurst
And then the Bond music happens.

00:24:33 Hurst
It's like, new Bond's awesome.

00:24:37 Hurst
This is so exciting.

00:24:39 Hurst
So I mean, what an introduction to Daniel Craig is the new Bond, like gritty action, unrefined and brand new into the position.

00:24:46 Hurst
So it sets out the tone for the next 18 years of actual character and story progression, which has never happened in Bond before.

00:24:53 Hurst
It was always standalone.

00:24:54 Hurst
So this was a new thing in the franchise.

00:24:56 Hurst
And my God, I was absolutely sold.

00:24:58 Hurst
How long do you think it was?

00:25:00 Squirrell
10 minutes.

00:25:01 Hurst
It was a little under 4.

00:25:02 Squirrell
******* Jesus Christ.

00:25:04 Squirrell
It's really quick.

00:25:06 Hurst
I love it because it is so succinct and it's so potent and it just gets you absolutely.

00:25:14 Squirrell
So the PlayStation 3 also came out in 2006.

00:25:18 Squirrell
And because Bond was Sony Pictures, they included the Blu-ray of Casino Royale with the PlayStation, because it was like the first consumer thing that had a Blu-ray player and that wasn't actually a Blu-ray player.

00:25:29 Squirrell
See what I mean?

00:25:29 Squirrell
The amount of people phoning in saying it wasn't working because the film opens in black and white.

00:25:37 Squirrell
They probably should have thought that one through a bit.

00:25:40 Squirrell
Maybe put a sticker on it saying,

00:25:42 Squirrell
that this film opens in black or white.

00:25:43 Squirrell
Don't panic, it works.

00:25:45 Squirrell
So here we are.

00:25:46 Hurst
Oh man, people are impatient.

00:25:48 Squirrell
There's your fun fact about that.

00:25:51 Squirrell
My #4, first.

00:25:53 Squirrell
Star Trek, the 2009 Star Trek, directed by JJ Abrams.

00:25:58 Hurst
The one with Chris, what's his name?

00:26:01 Squirrell
Hemsworth.

00:26:01 Hurst
Hemsworth.

00:26:02 Squirrell
Chris Pine is James T.

00:26:05 Squirrell
Kirk, but you don't see him in the opening to the movie.

00:26:07 Squirrell
You see Chris Hemsworth, who plays his dad.

00:26:09 Squirrell
So the USS Kelvin is flying along and they're like something weird going on and this ******* huge thing comes out of a wibbly wobbly time hole.

00:26:17 Squirrell
Now I think that's how they describe it in the movie.

00:26:19 Squirrell
And ***** the USS Kelvin up.

00:26:21 Squirrell
Then the bad guy comes on the screen and says, send your captain over.

00:26:24 Squirrell
We will talk to him.

00:26:25 Squirrell
If you don't do it, we'll blow you up.

00:26:26 Squirrell
Pew pew pew.

00:26:27 Squirrell
And it's like the captain's like, right, I'm going.

00:26:29 Squirrell
Hemsworth, you're the

00:26:30 Squirrell
captain now, Hemsworth, of course, being George Kirk.

00:26:33 Squirrell
At this point, the captain goes over there and gets ****** **.

00:26:36 Squirrell
And they get into a fight again.

00:26:38 Squirrell
And Kirk decides to abandon the ship, very smart.

00:26:40 Squirrell
And he's telling the ship to fly into the other ship to **** it up a bit, right?

00:26:44 Squirrell
Even though the Enterprise is not the Enterprise, the Kelvin is tiny.

00:26:47 Squirrell
But, oh no, the autopilot is malfunctioning.

00:26:50 Squirrell
So someone has to stay on board the ship to fly it in there.

00:26:53 Squirrell
Oh, well, good job.

00:26:54 Squirrell
Kirk is a ******* hero.

00:26:55 Squirrell
Unfortunately, his wife has just gone into labour and is being like run along to

00:27:00 Squirrell
talking to him at the time, and he's like, is my wife on board?

00:27:03 Squirrell
He's like, yes, sir.

00:27:04 Squirrell
He's like, take off.

00:27:05 Squirrell
Where do I use that?

00:27:06 Squirrell
I'm not coming.

00:27:07 Squirrell
She's like, George.

00:27:08 Squirrell
And it's like, oh my God, like she's having the baby and he's not going to go because if he does, then she won't be able to get away.

00:27:15 Squirrell
Powerful, emotional ****.

00:27:16 Squirrell
And like just before.

00:27:18 Squirrell
Circle of life right there.

00:27:19 Squirrell
Yeah, just before he smacks in, he's like, you know, tell me about him.

00:27:23 Squirrell
He's like, oh, that's beautiful.

00:27:24 Squirrell
Rubbish description.

00:27:25 Squirrell
What are we going to call it?

00:27:26 Squirrell
We could name him after your dad, maybe, George.

00:27:28 Squirrell
He's like, Tiberius, you

00:27:30 Squirrell
I mean, that sucks.

00:27:31 Squirrell
Let's call him Jim after your dad.

00:27:34 Squirrell
And that's it.

00:27:35 Squirrell
And then boom, **** that was a good opening.

00:27:38 Squirrell
Excellent stuff.

00:27:38 Squirrell
And the music, the score by Michael Giacchino, holy **** the score to that film was good.

00:27:44 Squirrell
I'd forgotten.

00:27:45 Squirrell
The films kind of fell off in quality as they, I think they did three of them in total, but the first one was by far the best one.

00:27:50 Squirrell
And the opening to the first one was just superb.

00:27:52 Squirrell
Yeah, there you were.

00:27:54 Squirrell
How long do you think it was?

00:27:57 Hurst
14 minutes.

00:27:58 Squirrell
10 minutes and 30 seconds.

00:28:01 Hurst
So I would have had 11 minutes you got around.

00:28:03 Squirrell
Well, that's true, but still not quite there.

00:28:05 Hurst
No, I was off anyway.

00:28:06 Hurst
Can't salvage any pride.

00:28:09 Hurst
Damn it.

00:28:10 Squirrell
Closer, way closer than me if you want to salvage some pride.

00:28:15 Hurst
A bit better.

00:28:16 Squirrell
Yeah, okay.

00:28:17 Hurst
Anyway, my #4, Raiders of the Lost Ark from 1981, I believe.

00:28:22 Hurst
As an introduction to a lead character goes,

00:28:24 Hurst
this one is my favourite.

00:28:26 Hurst
Set in 1936, it opens with Indy, who is clearly a cool dude, flopping through a jungle full of Dagobah system sounds.

00:28:34 Hurst
It's amazing the overlap on the Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

00:28:37 Squirrell
And they're starting the plane, right?

00:28:39 Hurst
Yeah, I'm into that a little bit later because it sounds like the Flipping Millennium Falcon.

00:28:43 Hurst
Anyway, he's cool because he has a leather jacket, he's got a Stetson, he's got a whip.

00:28:47 Hurst
So his local guides stumble upon a statue that scares the crap out of them and they run away.

00:28:51 Hurst
The other two hired hands are definitely ******** it, but they stick with him.

00:28:54 Hurst
nowhere, one pulls a gun and Indy ******* whips it out of his hand, literally uses his whip to disarm a fool.

00:29:01 Hurst
A fool sensibly runs away, leaving Indy and his one remaining guide slash manservant.

00:29:05 Hurst
They get to the cave and the manservant explains that this is a cave of death.

00:29:09 Hurst
Indy strolls in, boulders, brass, and a short way in, he suddenly has four or five tarantulas on his back and he swipes them off with his whip like leaves, just like brushes them off.

00:29:18 Hurst
What else?

00:29:19 Hurst
Total ****** behavior.

00:29:21 Hurst
He spots and triggers a few literal death trap, still

00:29:24 Hurst
nervous.

00:29:25 Hurst
The man's servant blunders around like an idiot and almost gets himself killed by a remotely triggered death darts.

00:29:30 Hurst
Indy isn't fooled and he hopscotches his way across to the golden idle that's shining nicely on a pedestal in the middle of the cave.

00:29:36 Hurst
He swipes it and just as he thinks everything is okay, the whole cave starts to implode.

00:29:42 Hurst
So he runs for it and Man Friday betrays him a bit, but then dies because he's a **** and he doesn't understand booby traps.

00:29:50 Hurst
Indy retrieves the idol and then he has to run like crazy because a massive boulder is chasing

00:29:54 Hurst
The same boulder becomes an icon of cinema and is paraded forevermore because it's so damn cool.

00:30:01 Hurst
So he just about escapes the cave, only to be mugged by his nemesis right out the front.

00:30:05 Hurst
Cutting his losses like a sensible person, he runs off, chased by the local tribe who are mercifully dreadful shots with their bows and arrows.

00:30:13 Hurst
He could have hit.

00:30:14 Squirrell
Him when he was swimming across that river, man.

00:30:17 Squirrell
He was moving slowly.

00:30:18 Squirrell
His full length target.

00:30:19 Hurst
Come on.

00:30:20 Hurst
These native dudes stop, pull their bows and arrows and launch them like

00:30:24 Hurst
It's like it was the first time they'd ever seen a bow and arrow.

00:30:29 Hurst
Anyway, fortunately, he gets to his escape plan, which makes Millennium Falcon noises, and he does manage to get into the air.

00:30:36 Hurst
So actually, he's achieved nothing.

00:30:38 Hurst
But we know now that the pursuit of archaeology is a pretty big deal to Indiana Jones, and he's a legitimate new action hero in what is typically a very Hufflepuff industry.

00:30:48 Hurst
Gripping action, great character development and exposition.

00:30:52 Hurst
Excellent use of sound effects and bad guy shooting conventions from George Lewis's playbook.

00:30:58 Hurst
John Williams doing amazing, John Williams doing.

00:31:00 Squirrell
Oh, that ******* music, man.

00:31:02 Hurst
Yeah, that was so good.

00:31:03 Hurst
And Steven Spielberg really announcing his action movie jobs.

00:31:06 Hurst
And with that foundation, the film was destined to be a landmark moment in cinema.

00:31:10 Hurst
It's outstanding stuff, brilliant.

00:31:12 Hurst
One that I thought, oh, that might be in there.

00:31:14 Hurst
And I watched it and I'm like, *** **** so good.

00:31:17 Hurst
But the big question is,

00:31:18 Hurst
How long is the intro?

00:31:19 Squirrell
12 minutes and 39 seconds.

00:31:21 Hurst
Good guess.

00:31:22 Hurst
It is indeed 13 minutes.

00:31:24 Squirrell
12 minutes and 39 seconds.

00:31:26 Hurst
It depends where you're measuring it from.

00:31:29 Squirrell
As soon as the scene opens, there's a 10 second Paramount logo and then it starts.

00:31:34 Hurst
All right.

00:31:36 Squirrell
By memory.

00:31:38 Hurst
Probably the last we're going to hear about that one.

00:31:40 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:31:40 Hurst
That's my #4.

00:31:42 Squirrell
I've gone indie and I've gone, what's the word?

00:31:49 Squirrell
Not unpopular because it's not.

00:31:50 Squirrell
What's the word for small and not many people?

00:31:53 Squirrell
Niche.

00:31:54 Squirrell
Indie sci-fi niche movie called The Matrix.

00:31:57 Hurst
I've heard of that.

00:31:59 Squirrell
Yeah, written and directed by the Wachowskis.

00:32:02 Squirrell
Yeah, you might have seen it.

00:32:03 Squirrell
1999 it came out.

00:32:05 Squirrell
So only 27.

00:32:07 Squirrell
Obviously, it's the Matrix.

00:32:08 Squirrell
Obviously, we know the Matrix.

00:32:09 Squirrell
We know how the Matrix starts.

00:32:10 Squirrell
It's ******* brilliant.

00:32:12 Hurst
And a hurtful amount of time it goes in abruptly when I last played cricket.

00:32:20 Squirrell
It tells you a lot about what's going on in this world.

00:32:24 Squirrell
At the same time, it tells you freaking nothing about what is like, mostly confusing.

00:32:29 Squirrell
But the police arrive and they're kind of surrounding this house and some go in and then some FBI looking dudes arrive and they're

00:32:36 Squirrell
They're like, we told you not to go in.

00:32:38 Squirrell
They're like, just one little girl.

00:32:40 Squirrell
How hard can it be?

00:32:41 Squirrell
And they're like, we sent in two units, they're bringing her down now.

00:32:44 Squirrell
No, your men are already dead.

00:32:46 Squirrell
I said pain.

00:32:49 Squirrell
Yeah, apparently.

00:32:51 Squirrell
Anyway, then we go to see Trinity nerding away on a computer.

00:32:54 Squirrell
We don't know that's her name yet, we will soon.

00:32:56 Squirrell
And then she stands up and she dumps into the air and then she stops and then we swing around her and then she kicks someone in the face and everybody in the cinema went, what the **** just happened?

00:33:05 Squirrell
It was incredible.

00:33:07 Squirrell
use of bullet time that anyone's seen unless they were really into watching experimental photography ****.

00:33:11 Squirrell
And it was just superb.

00:33:13 Squirrell
And then she runs off after beating some people up.

00:33:15 Squirrell
And wire work is commonplace now, but it wasn't really then, at least not in Western films, right?

00:33:20 Squirrell
So it'd be like, did she just jump a little bit too high, didn't we?

00:33:24 Squirrell
learned the agents are dangerous, but not dangerous enough to pull out a gun and ******* shoot her while she was running across a rooftop.

00:33:29 Squirrell
But anyway, yeah.

00:33:30 Squirrell
And then she kind of does all this dangerous stuff and jumps through a window and says her own name so we know who she is.

00:33:35 Squirrell
And then

00:33:36 Squirrell
comes to a phone box and you're like, why is she running to this phone box?

00:33:39 Squirrell
It doesn't make any sense.

00:33:40 Squirrell
The phone is ringing, but how important is this ******* phone call?

00:33:42 Squirrell
Because they're about to crash a ******* what is it, a rubbish truck into the phone box.

00:33:47 Squirrell
And they do, and then she's not there and you're like, what the **** is this film about?

00:33:50 Squirrell
And then the title card is like, yes.

00:33:53 Squirrell
Oh my God, it was good.

00:33:54 Squirrell
Very, very enjoyable indeed.

00:33:56 Squirrell
The Matrix is my number three.

00:33:59 Hurst
Excellent choice.

00:34:00 Squirrell
Yes.

00:34:00 Hurst
Excellent choice.

00:34:01 Hurst
We've discussed before about how much we love The Matrix effect.

00:34:04 Hurst
We just banned it from the 1999 movies.

00:34:06 Squirrell
It would be too obvious that it's going to be the best film of the 1999s, yes.

00:34:10 Hurst
Yeah, I can't fault your choice of movie there and stuff.

00:34:14 Squirrell
How long do you reckon?

00:34:16 Hurst
Now that one is relatively short, but I'm going to say 6 minutes.

00:34:21 Hurst
You got it right.

00:34:22 Hurst
What a surprise.

00:34:26 Hurst
How could I have done that?

00:34:27 Squirrell
How could you have done that?

00:34:27 Squirrell
Five minutes, fifty-five seconds for The Matrix.

00:34:30 Hurst
Superb.

00:34:32 Hurst
But #3, I've got something that's a lot more mainstream, which is...

00:34:41 Hurst
Yes, #3, I have 1999's The Matrix.

00:34:45 Hurst
And I know you've just described it, but I've written my synopsis of it.

00:34:48 Hurst
And so I'm going to read it out anyway.

00:34:49 Hurst
Thank you, everyone at home.

00:34:51 Hurst
Because I've gone into a little more detail.

00:34:53 Squirrell
All right.

00:34:53 Hurst
So Matrix opens with a phone call, voices only, just the green scrolling numbers of someone hacking the line.

00:35:00 Squirrell
Worse CGI than I remembered in that bit, by the way.

00:35:02 Squirrell
It was like, that doesn't look so good.

00:35:05 Hurst
Let it go because of awesome.

00:35:07 Hurst
Switched to a ton of police kicking down a door to arrest some *** ***** in a PVC jumpsuit.

00:35:12 Hurst
She's just sitting there cool as cucumber.

00:35:14 Hurst
Outside, some agents' suits and sunglasses turn up and swave on over to a cop who's sitting around confidently thinking he has the situation in hand.

00:35:21 Hurst
Lieutenant, you were given specific orders.

00:35:25 Hurst
Hey, I'm just doing my job.

00:35:27 Hurst
You'll give me that jurist my diction ********.

00:35:31 Hurst
You can cram it up your ***.

00:35:33 Hurst
Great line is the

00:35:35 Hurst
were for your protection.

00:35:36 Hurst
And the cop scoffs like, I think we can handle one little girl.

00:35:41 Hurst
The agents are wearing dark glasses, but you can hear their eyes rolling.

00:35:44 Hurst
They walk off and the cop looks a little unsure, but barrels on with his misplaced confidence.

00:35:48 Hurst
He said, I sent 2 units.

00:35:50 Hurst
They're bringing her down now.

00:35:51 Hurst
I was like, no, Lieutenant, your men are already dead.

00:35:56 Hurst
Have that, *************.

00:35:58 Hurst
Trinity is now billed as being

00:36:00 Hurst
totally ****** and we prepared to see if she can live up to the hype and holy **** sticks she can.

00:36:06 Hurst
So she immediately goes into the brand new movie tech called Bullet Time where she can slow down space and time and pull off crazy moves.

00:36:13 Hurst
She kicks the **** out of 1 dude, runs up and down the walls and wipes out all the others without even being slightly out of breath before casually calling her boss and telling him there's a bit of a problem.

00:36:22 Hurst
Boss says there's agents around and she looks scared.

00:36:25 Hurst
Now, because we're aware of her insane badassery, we're all collectively ******** it.

00:36:29 Hurst
If this sexy Catwoman ninja is worried, these agents must be legit.

00:36:34 Hurst
She runs away doing mad stunts that defy our puny human physics with an agent in hot suit, then runs into a phone booth that's about to be smashed into by a massive lorry and vanishes just before it hits.

00:36:44 Hurst
The agents are vaguely irked, but not too fast, because they verified that their snitch is legit and announced that they're going to go and **** ** the **** of some bro called Neo, who's a different potential future problem.

00:36:55 Squirrell
Terribly acted that bit.

00:36:57 Squirrell
Just awful.

00:36:59 Hurst
It doesn't matter because you're too busy just creaming over how extra bullet time is and what the hell's going on.

00:37:05 Hurst
I mean, classic, totally gripping, brand new special effects, super quick out of the blocks, exquisite movie making.

00:37:11 Hurst
Extra props that they used a female character to showcase the amazing new effects and be the immediate powerful hero.

00:37:17 Hurst
Last century, ******** female characters were few and far between and they could have easily picked any number of the other people who are

00:37:25 Hurst
dudes on that ship, which, okay, fine.

00:37:28 Hurst
But I picked Trinity and it was amazing.

00:37:32 Hurst
Apart from Switch, yes, good call.

00:37:33 Hurst
She dies quite early there, spoilers.

00:37:35 Hurst
27-year-old spoilers.

00:37:36 Squirrell
Hey, technically.

00:37:37 Squirrell
Originally Switch was going to be a guy in the Matrix and a lady outside the Matrix.

00:37:42 Hurst
I didn't know that.

00:37:43 Squirrell
That's why they were on Switch.

00:37:44 Squirrell
And, you know, the Wachowskis obviously have some feelings in that area, but the studio wouldn't know.

00:37:49 Squirrell
So there we go.

00:37:50 Hurst
Still brilliant though.

00:37:51 Squirrell
Still brilliant.

00:37:52 Hurst
Great movie, great opening.

00:37:54 Hurst
The third best movie ever.

00:37:57 Squirrell
Absolutely guaranteed locked in, Hurst.

00:37:59 Squirrell
The Matrix is right there.

00:38:00 Hurst
Happy days.

00:38:01 Hurst
I'm intrigued to know where you're going from here.

00:38:03 Squirrell
Then we're already on to #2 for me from 2009, Inglorious ******** Hurst by Quentin Tarantino.

00:38:11 Squirrell
Now I could have picked, I could have pretty much filled my ******* list up with Tarantino openings to be honest, like the Pulp Fiction one in the cafe with Honey Bunny and Pumpkin.

00:38:21 Squirrell
Pumpkin and Honey Bunny, that's it.

00:38:22 Squirrell
And the opening to Reservoir Dogs, where they're discussing tipping and Madonna.

00:38:27 Squirrell
Oh, so good.

00:38:28 Hurst
But.

00:38:28 Hurst
It has quite a knack for film writing and filmmaking, doesn't it?

00:38:32 Squirrell
He's right, isn't he, actually.

00:38:33 Squirrell
Quentin Tarantino.

00:38:34 Squirrell
You'd expect him to have been a bit more successful.

00:38:37 Squirrell
The best of them, I think, by far is Inglorious ********.

00:38:40 Squirrell
It opens on some dude chopping wood and his, we find out, daughter hanging up washing, but oh no, there comes some Nazi cars and we're like, okay, we're in the war.

00:38:49 Squirrell
We kind of knew that anyway, because they weren't

00:38:51 Squirrell
knew about this film.

00:38:51 Squirrell
Before they went to see it, there was going to be a war film.

00:38:53 Squirrell
******* hell.

00:38:54 Squirrell
So it opens up and they're looking for Jews.

00:38:58 Squirrell
The Jew hunter turns up.

00:38:59 Squirrell
He is Hans Lauder, played by Christopher Waltz.

00:39:02 Squirrell
Just Christoph Waltz.

00:39:04 Squirrell
Apologies.

00:39:04 Squirrell
******* so good.

00:39:05 Hurst
He is brilliant.

00:39:06 Hurst
Absolutely brilliant.

00:39:07 Hurst
So horrible and creepy and intimidating, effortlessly intimidating.

00:39:14 Hurst
Yeah.

00:39:15 Squirrell
And he goes into this house and starts questioning the dad about this family of Jewish farmers they knew that live nearby and they're the only ones they haven't found, doesn't know where they are, blah blah blah.

00:39:24 Squirrell
He's like, I heard they got to Spain.

00:39:26 Squirrell
They're like, the 1st 5 minutes and 30 seconds of this film are all subtitled, which is a...

00:39:30 Squirrell
Bullsey move in 2009 Western cinema.

00:39:35 Hurst
Don't want to play by the rules though, is he?

00:39:37 Squirrell
No, he doesn't care.

00:39:38 Squirrell
Like 2/3 of that film was sometimes.

00:39:40 Hurst
He makes the rules.

00:39:41 Squirrell
They switch to English, they chat for a bit more.

00:39:43 Squirrell
Hans allowed to drink the guy's milk because he's a dairy farmer, not that you see any ******* cows or policies that cows could be.

00:39:49 Squirrell
But anyway, we'll gloss over that.

00:39:50 Squirrell
Eleven minutes into the opening sequence, the camera kind of drops below the floor and you see a load of people hiding.

00:39:55 Squirrell
It's 11 minutes in before you even know whether or not this guy is harbouring Jewish people.

00:40:00 Squirrell
And

00:40:00 Squirrell
Everyone acts their ***** off.

00:40:02 Squirrell
Like, they've done a superb job.

00:40:04 Squirrell
And it is so ******* tense.

00:40:06 Squirrell
It's so tense because he switches to English because the people hiding in the floor can't understand English.

00:40:13 Squirrell
So he can deal with what he needs to do without raising their suspicions because he tells the guy, look, I'm going to find them if they're here.

00:40:20 Squirrell
So you probably better tell me, otherwise life's going to get really ******* bad for you.

00:40:23 Squirrell
And the guy gives them up.

00:40:24 Squirrell
Hans Lauder has his men come in and kill them all.

00:40:27 Squirrell
But it is just ******* amazing.

00:40:30 Squirrell
And there is a bit where the guy, the farmer is like, go and fetch Hans Lauda some wine.

00:40:37 Squirrell
And he grabs the guy, she goes by in her arm and says, I'm not wine, you're a dairy farm.

00:40:40 Squirrell
Please bring me some milk.

00:40:41 Squirrell
He's holding her arm to check her pulse to see if she's nervous.

00:40:44 Squirrell
******* hell.

00:40:45 Squirrell
It's so clever.

00:40:46 Squirrell
He's so good.

00:40:47 Squirrell
He goes from charming to terrifying without ever raising his voice once.

00:40:52 Squirrell
Like he is such a good bad guy.

00:40:55 Squirrell
And

00:40:57 Squirrell
it is, in my opinion, the second best opening scene of all time.

00:41:01 Squirrell
It is incredible.

00:41:03 Hurst
It is just, it's such an intimidating sequence.

00:41:06 Hurst
Just considering it is really, it's just dialogue.

00:41:10 Hurst
There's really next to no action or movement apart from to say when it dips below the floor and you see them there, it's like, what?

00:41:17 Squirrell
Two people sat around the kitchen table.

00:41:18 Hurst
And just sitting there going, is he going to give them up?

00:41:20 Hurst
What's he going to do?

00:41:21 Hurst
But ultimately he has no choice.

00:41:23 Hurst
It's either they all die and he probably dies or they all die and he lives, but he has to live with himself.

00:41:29 Hurst
Crazy, brilliant.

00:41:31 Hurst
I would say it's about 18 minutes.

00:41:34 Squirrell
Oh, 19 minutes and 12 seconds.

00:41:36 Squirrell
I think that's pretty good, Hurst.

00:41:38 Hurst
Yeah, that's a minute.

00:41:39 Hurst
I'll take that.

00:41:41 Squirrell
Long, right?

00:41:41 Hurst
It's 20 minutes, right?

00:41:43 Hurst
It's long and it shouldn't be as good as it is just talking.

00:41:48 Squirrell
Yeah, but that's what Tarantino does, right?

00:41:51 Squirrell
I mean, I was sitting and listening to Tarantino dialogue all day.

00:41:53 Hurst
Yeah, because he writes such good dialogue.

00:41:56 Hurst
It's not just benign nonsense.

00:42:02 Squirrell
That's the other weird thing about it.

00:42:04 Squirrell
It's just so interesting.

00:42:06 Squirrell
Like, you'll hear two people chatting away about the difference between McDonald's in Belgium and McDonald's in the US.

00:42:12 Squirrell
They're like, Royale with cheese, and everybody knows Royale with cheese.

00:42:15 Squirrell
They're just talking about Donald.

00:42:16 Hurst
I didn't know about Burger King.

00:42:18 Hurst
But it's just so, what's so clever about it is it's like slice of life.

00:42:22 Hurst
So getting all theatre nerdy like Stanislavsky and all, like Chekhov wrote plays about just boring **** but they were interesting because it was just real life.

00:42:31 Hurst
making characters based on the banal stuff that they talk about.

00:42:35 Hurst
Love it now.

00:42:35 Hurst
Great choice.

00:42:36 Hurst
Really good stuff.

00:42:37 Hurst
So my number two is Star Wars A New Hope 1977.

00:42:43 Squirrell
90 seconds of reading.

00:42:45 Squirrell
I loved it too.

00:42:46 Squirrell
I love reading.

00:42:47 Hurst
So not just incredible in its own right, but among the most

00:42:52 Hurst
influential opening scenes ever filmed.

00:42:54 Hurst
No foreplay, just straight in with one of the most recognisable movie score movements of all time.

00:42:59 Hurst
Just like, boom, Star Wars in capital letters.

00:43:03 Hurst
And then nothing about cue a whole bunch of useful expositions scrolling up the screen so everyone knows where we are in the saga because George Lucas decided for his first film to start his non-alogy.

00:43:15 Hurst
That's right.

00:43:16 Hurst
on the 4th film.

00:43:17 Hurst
No, everyone else has done trilogies, boring.

00:43:19 Hurst
We're going to do 9 films and we're going to start on #4.

00:43:22 Hurst
Love it.

00:43:23 Hurst
Anyway, the writing disappears into the distance and immediately you get spaceships and loads of pew, pew, pew, pew, which was visually just miles ahead of anything that had happened before and exactly what the audience wanted when they went in to see it.

00:43:35 Hurst
Stormtroopers bust in with loads more pew, pew, pew, pew.

00:43:38 Hurst
Then in strolls Darth ******* Vader, kills a dude with a choke slam and then berates Leia, giving her both barrels and accusing her of being rebel scum

00:43:46 Hurst
stealing the Death Star plans.

00:43:48 Squirrell
Not literally both barrels, because he didn't have a gun.

00:43:51 Hurst
No, verbally and metaphorically both barrels, giving it the big one.

00:43:53 Hurst
Leia is singularly unfazed and sasses him, lying her *** off about the plans and how she's some diplomat and he's going to be in deep ****.

00:44:00 Hurst
Truth is, she's hidden the plans in a cool little droid who's fired himself and his camp pessimist boyfriend off to some desert island.

00:44:07 Hurst
Anyway, Leia's awesome, Beta's awesome, Star Wars has blown the minds of a whole generation and sci-fi has changed forever.

00:44:13 Hurst
It's just so brilliant.

00:44:15 Hurst
Like with the Matrix, it just announced a new era of sci-fi and special effects, but like 22 years before the Matrix.

00:44:25 Hurst
How long?

00:44:26 Hurst
is that opening sequence.

00:44:28 Squirrell
Not massively long.

00:44:29 Squirrell
We do have the words because, you know, when they first watched the film, they realized it made no ******* sense.

00:44:34 Squirrell
So they put some words at the beginning.

00:44:35 Squirrell
Not originally episode four, of course.

00:44:37 Squirrell
I hate to break down the genius, right?

00:44:40 Squirrell
It was just called Star Wars until 1981 when they renamed it The New Hope, episode four.

00:44:47 Squirrell
This was never his ******* plan.

00:44:49 Squirrell
He never had a story.

00:44:50 Squirrell
This is why he didn't know how to finish it.

00:44:53 Squirrell
But no, excellent, right?

00:44:54 Squirrell
Very good.

00:44:55 Squirrell
How long is it not

00:44:55 Squirrell
Not as long as I think, I reckon.

00:44:57 Squirrell
I want to say 7 minutes, so I'm going to say 5.

00:44:59 Hurst
It's 9 minutes.

00:45:00 Squirrell
**** it's longer.

00:45:01 Squirrell
Should have gone the other way.

00:45:02 Squirrell
Yeah, there we are.

00:45:03 Hurst
It might be established.

00:45:04 Hurst
It's always longer than you think.

00:45:06 Hurst
Objects in the rear view mirror are larger than they appear.

00:45:10 Squirrell
Closer.

00:45:10 Hurst
Closer than they appear.

00:45:13 Hurst
Closer, yeah.

00:45:14 Hurst
I don't know, all blended into one?

00:45:16 Squirrell
Yeah, well, of course, like Star Wars.

00:45:18 Squirrell
We are already on our worst.

00:45:23 Squirrell
For my worst.

00:45:24 Squirrell
Hurst.

00:45:25 Squirrell
Bear with me.

00:45:27 Squirrell
I have Pixar's Up.

00:45:28 Squirrell
Controversial.

00:45:30 Squirrell
Bear with me, everybody.

00:45:31 Squirrell
Undeniably a brilliant piece of filmmaking.

00:45:34 Squirrell
I'm never ******* watching it again.

00:45:36 Squirrell
I watched it once.

00:45:36 Squirrell
What's wrong, Daddy?

00:45:37 Squirrell
Nothing.

00:45:38 Squirrell
I'm never watching that **** again.

00:45:39 Squirrell
It was traumatizing ****.

00:45:41 Squirrell
Some guy meets some girl.

00:45:43 Squirrell
You see them get together, go through their life, and then she dies.

00:45:46 Squirrell
**** you.

00:45:47 Squirrell
Didn't like it.

00:45:48 Squirrell
I did like it.

00:45:49 Squirrell
I liked it.

00:45:49 Squirrell
I didn't like it at all.

00:45:50 Squirrell
So yeah, never watch it again.

00:45:52 Squirrell
Worst.

00:45:53 Hurst
Fair enough.

00:45:53 Hurst
I mean, it's the same logic I've used for Marley and Me.

00:45:56 Hurst
Beautiful film.

00:45:57 Squirrell
Can't watch that ****.

00:45:59 Hurst
Yeah, I've gone with controversy as well, because I've chosen Saving Private Ryan.

00:46:04 Squirrell
Okay.

00:46:04 Hurst
Now, my reason is that actually the open sequence of that is an old man stumbling across a graveyard with his family walking along behind him.

00:46:15 Hurst
Yes, it is.

00:46:15 Squirrell
You are right.

00:46:16 Hurst
Doggling away over to his grave.

00:46:18 Hurst
Well, not his grave, obviously, to the grave of someone new, like in Normandy or Dunkirk or wherever it was that they came in.

00:46:24 Squirrell
We couldn't see who it was.

00:46:26 Hurst
And sort of weepy tears.

00:46:27 Hurst
I mean, brilliantly acted, but entirely unnecessary.

00:46:32 Hurst
But eventually it kind of goes into his eyes and then it cuts.

00:46:35 Hurst
And then you look at Tom Hanks eyes on the ship and then they have that absolutely.

00:46:40 Squirrell
Then they have an epic scene, but not the opening scene.

00:46:42 Hurst
One of the most spectacular bits of filmmaking in the history of filmmaking.

00:46:47 Hurst
And it's just harrowing and incredible and the special effects and it just gives you a real idea of how.

00:46:55 Squirrell
****.

00:46:56 Hurst
**** it was and how your problems are tiny nothings compared to these people who just, they opened up the front of these boats where the Germans knew they were going to be with their machine guns and just slaughters swathes and swathes of people.

00:47:09 Hurst
People's lanes, they just fart them backwards.

00:47:12 Hurst
Also, why not come at night when they couldn't see as clearly where there were just so many reasons.

00:47:17 Hurst
There were reasons, but it just felt, but it was harrowing.

00:47:21 Hurst
But the whole thing was ruined by the fact

00:47:23 Hurst
They had that old man tearful.

00:47:24 Hurst
It's like it was so unnecessary.

00:47:26 Hurst
It was kind of a twee nod to, Hollywood making it, a bit softer intro.

00:47:32 Hurst
If they cut that and just started straight zoomed in on Tom Hanks' eyes and panned out and then had that opening sequence as the going on to the beach, it would have probably been the number one because it was just so potent.

00:47:46 Hurst
I mean, but they missed it.

00:47:48 Hurst
They missed it by gandering just to make it not too

00:47:51 Hurst
Aggressive of the start.

00:47:53 Hurst
Like why?

00:47:54 Squirrell
******* good job it doesn't count, Hurst, isn't it?

00:47:56 Squirrell
For both of us this week.

00:47:58 Squirrell
Well, people would be wrong if they tried to say yours was the wrong choice.

00:48:01 Squirrell
But the worst doesn't count, Rangers.

00:48:03 Squirrell
You're only ranked in the top five.

00:48:05 Squirrell
So we better tell them what #1 is, Hurst?

00:48:08 Hurst
Enough about the worst, Hurst.

00:48:10 Hurst
Let's talk about the first.

00:48:12 Squirrell
You've said it now.

00:48:13 Squirrell
Let's go.

00:48:13 Squirrell
Music.

00:48:20 Squirrell
Hurst.

00:48:22 Squirrell
I mean people could just skip forward because they know what's coming, right?

00:48:28 Squirrell
I mean...

00:49:03 Squirrell
Listeners, I am just kind of shrugging my hands up in the air because literally when I watched this earlier today, I got to the end to write my notes and I just sat there

00:49:15 Squirrell
And eventually I just wrote, I can't do words, it's perfect.

00:49:18 Squirrell
There we are.

00:49:19 Squirrell
That's the opening to The Lion King, which is just incredible.

00:49:23 Squirrell
It doesn't have any words, dialogue, none.

00:49:27 Squirrell
There's no explanation of what's going on, but you immediately understand that Simba's birth is important to like the entire, what would you call it, ecosystem, and there's some form of real hierarchy going on.

00:49:38 Squirrell
This whole baboon is important because people get out of his way and kind of people, like zebras and elephants and **** get out of his way and bow and **** and the music in the film is going to be a ******* banger, and you're absolutely correct because you are not a hinny, and it is ******* incredible.

00:49:52 Squirrell
That'll do.

00:49:53 Squirrell
Lion King, oh my God.

00:49:55 Squirrell
Possibly some of the best film.

00:49:57 Squirrell
in history, not just movie opening, but Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, that's good.

00:50:21 Squirrell
Squirrel here, Rankers, the willpower it took me to stop that at that point was ridiculous.

00:50:27 Squirrell
Thank you, carry on.

00:50:29 Hurst
Yeah, and that absolutely is.

00:50:31 Hurst
It's a stunning, but a bit weird that all of the prey animals are bowing down to, thank goodness we've got a new apex predator coming into the wilderness to **** his **** up.

00:50:40 Squirrell
Maybe their prey and he doesn't eat them.

00:50:42 Hurst
Yeah.

00:50:42 Squirrell
But that's the whole thing, right?

00:50:43 Squirrell
Balance, the circle of life, la la la la.

00:50:46 Squirrell
Obviously, Scar gets in there and ***** up, spoilers.

00:50:49 Hurst
Yeah, no, he does miss it up.

00:50:50 Hurst
Spoilers, 30 year old spoilers.

00:50:52 Hurst
It is spectacular.

00:50:53 Squirrell
How long do you reckon it might be?

00:50:56 Hurst
I reckon it is 7 minutes.

00:50:59 Squirrell
Yeah, 3 minutes, 54 seconds.

00:51:01 Hurst
Gosh, is it?

00:51:02 Squirrell
They cram that **** in there.

00:51:05 Squirrell
Yeah, they're good.

00:51:06 Squirrell
They're good at that ****.

00:51:06 Hurst
It doesn't have to be long to be awesome.

00:51:09 Squirrell
Would you like a fact, an estimated fact, about the Lion King opening?

00:51:12 Hurst
*** **** me, I would.

00:51:13 Squirrell
Of course you would.

00:51:14 Squirrell
Fact! James Earl Jones did originally narrate that kind of sequence.

00:51:19 Squirrell
He talked about what was going on and he was going to do it as Mufasa, obviously not ******* James Earl Jones.

00:51:24 Squirrell
Fact!

00:51:26 Squirrell
that whole sequence was the trailer for The Lion King.

00:51:28 Squirrell
No dialogue, just the music and the animals.

00:51:30 Squirrell
And at the end, boom, The Lion King.

00:51:33 Hurst
I think it's the James Earl Jones one.

00:51:35 Squirrell
It wasn't.

00:51:36 Hurst
Really?

00:51:36 Hurst
That was the...

00:51:37 Squirrell
No, it was the trailer.

00:51:38 Squirrell
I think maybe they chop bits out to make it like 2 minutes long or whatever.

00:51:41 Squirrell
But yeah, they just, they were like, it's not that whole thing.

00:51:44 Hurst
Like half of that was the trailer.

00:51:46 Squirrell
Well, actually, I don't know.

00:51:47 Squirrell
I'm fine.

00:51:47 Squirrell
I'm going to look it up.

00:51:49 Hurst
I was reading about this actually, and was it Hanson?

00:51:54 Squirrell
And it was he was technically that was Elton John.

00:51:58 Hurst
For the score of it, but and it was one of his absolute first bits and forays into the music.

00:52:05 Hurst
When he wrote it, he thought he wasn't going to get it because he hadn't really followed the brief.

00:52:08 Hurst
He'd written the music that he thought was just right for that kind of film.

00:52:11 Hurst
He handed it and was like, yeah, I haven't, I get that.

00:52:14 Hurst
I didn't do what they'd asked and they loved it so much.

00:52:16 Hurst
They changed what the brief was to fit what he'd written.

00:52:20 Hurst
You know, now we have Hans Simmer.

00:52:21 Squirrell
Yeah, you do.

00:52:22 Squirrell
Four minutes and seven seconds.

00:52:24 Squirrell
There we go.

00:52:25 Squirrell
And with the Disney bit at either end, I guess.

00:52:28 Hurst
Superb.

00:52:29 Hurst
That is spectacular.

00:52:31 Squirrell
Let's hear it.

00:52:32 Hurst
So my number one is something we have discussed a little already, and it is 1994's Pulp Fiction.

00:52:40 Hurst
We've already

00:52:41 Hurst
bestowed our love upon the great Quentin Tarantino for his opening sequences for his dialogue and everything.

00:52:48 Hurst
So a couple, Pumpkin and Honey Bunny played by Tim Roth and Amanda Plummer, sitting in the diner casually talking about the intricacies and problems of armed robbery in different establishments.

00:52:57 Hurst
Pumpkin says he's done with robbing liquor stores because of a winding tirade of casual racism.

00:53:02 Hurst
He says the new target should be diners like the one they're in.

00:53:05 Hurst
We discuss the upside and likely lack of downside and Honey Bunny suggests doing it right now.

00:53:11 Hurst
They very quickly agree and with no planning beyond same as usual, I'll do crowd control and you take care of the employees.

00:53:17 Hurst
They just go for it.

00:53:18 Hurst
Just like that.

00:53:19 Hurst
Five minutes of super cool dialogue, very Tarantino and the famous line that served as the intro to the album as well as the movie.

00:53:27 Hurst
I love you, pumpkin.

00:53:28 Hurst
I love you, Honey Bunny.

00:53:31 Hurst
Everybody be calling us as a robbery.

00:53:33 Hurst
Emily Upsteer.

00:53:34 Hurst
No ******* pics move and I'll execute every ************* last one of you.

00:53:40 Hurst
And then wham, bang! Miseries starts.

00:54:01 Hurst
Goosebumps, man.

00:54:02 Hurst
Haven't seen it in years, and as I watched it, I...

00:54:07 Hurst
This is my number one.

00:54:08 Hurst
This is the one.

00:54:10 Hurst
And I just knew straight away after watching this, I can't think anything for me is going to beat that as a bit of out there filmmaking that was so against the grain of everything else that was going on.

00:54:20 Hurst
It's just textbooks opening sequence.

00:54:23 Hurst
And what adds to its awesomeness is that as the movie curves and winds its way around the stories and various characters, we end up back at the diner with Jules and Vincent in the very last scene of the film, but at the exact same moment in time as the intro sequence is happening.

00:54:37 Hurst
So the point at which they're attempting the armed robbery at the end, Vincent has gone to the toilet and he comes back and there's like a situation going on.

00:54:45 Hurst
If you go back to the opening sequence, you can actually see him behind Amanda Plummer's head going to the toilet just a bit before they're about to do it, which allows for the amount of time that they're doing the thing before he comes out and there's a problem.

00:54:58 Hurst
It's just so, clever, so brilliantly written, directed, executed.

00:55:03 Hurst
an absolute masterclass filmmaker.

00:55:05 Hurst
If you haven't seen it, *** **** watch it.

00:55:09 Hurst
It's, love it.

00:55:11 Hurst
And listen to the soundtrack.

00:55:13 Hurst
It's just super cool.

00:55:14 Hurst
Like so much Tarantino of the time, the soundtracks were just so good.

00:55:18 Hurst
So yeah, that's my number one, Pulp Fiction.

00:55:20 Squirrell
All right.

00:55:21 Hurst
Would you like a fact and an estimated fact about Pulp Fiction?

00:55:26 Squirrell
I would.

00:55:27 Squirrell
Do I have to guess how long it was first?

00:55:29 Hurst
Okay, yeah.

00:55:30 Hurst
Guess it goes far.

00:55:31 Hurst
I told you halfway through it.

00:55:32 Hurst
I didn't know if you picked up on that.

00:55:33 Squirrell
Did you ****?

00:55:34 Squirrell
No, Paul, it doesn't matter.

00:55:36 Squirrell
Let's go.

00:55:38 Squirrell
But I would have guessed, I don't know, five.

00:55:40 Hurst
Yeah, five minutes.

00:55:42 Hurst
What did I write?

00:55:43 Hurst
Facts and estimated fact.

00:55:45 Hurst
Fact.

00:55:47 Hurst
The famous adrenaline injection into Mia Wallace's chest was filmed in reverse and Travolta pulled the syringe out and the footage was reversed in editing to make it look like it was plunged into our heart.

00:55:58 Hurst
Fact.

00:55:59 Hurst
In the two years following the release of Pulp Fiction, approximately 20% of students at the USC School of Cinematic Arts submitted a non-linear screenplay.

00:56:09 Hurst
Previous to that, there was zero.

00:56:12 Squirrell
Which is the first one.

00:56:13 Squirrell
They would film it backwards.

00:56:14 Hurst
They did indeed film it backwards.

00:56:16 Squirrell
Yes.

00:56:16 Hurst
Which is a real safe way of doing it.

00:56:18 Hurst
Because actually that's not as easy as it would sound because you can't just you can't get out at the same speed.

00:56:23 Hurst
You've got to imagine you've got stopped it.

00:56:25 Hurst
So there's I think you need to never tried slow it down at the start and then yank it off the top because the beginning is the and as it hits it slows.

00:56:34 Hurst
But anyway, I don't know.

00:56:34 Hurst
I thought that was pretty cool.

00:56:36 Squirrell
It's cool.

00:56:37 Squirrell
Yeah, I mean, I'm pleased with all of that.

00:56:41 Squirrell
Yeah, 10 excellent, no, 9 excellent movie intros.

00:56:46 Squirrell
Really 10 because up is also excellent.

00:56:48 Squirrell
I'm just not watching it again.

00:56:49 Squirrell
You understand me?

00:56:51 Squirrell
Sharon, we have some honourable mentions.

00:56:53 Squirrell
My list was long.

00:56:54 Squirrell
Obviously, I did do Raiders of the Lost Ark.

00:56:56 Squirrell
That's how I knew how long it was, but it didn't make the cut.

00:57:00 Hurst
I was expecting to hear more about that, but yeah, threw me off.

00:57:04 Hurst
Yeah, now hit me with your few of your near misses.

00:57:08 Squirrell
What have we got?

00:57:09 Squirrell
Raiders, obviously True Lies with Schwarzenegger, an excellent opening involving Tia Carey off of Wayne's World.

00:57:17 Squirrell
Yeah, lovely.

00:57:18 Squirrell
Swordfish Travolta blows up a bank.

00:57:21 Squirrell
It's the hacky one with Hugh Jackman.

00:57:23 Squirrell
Not a great film.

00:57:23 Squirrell
******* amazing intro.

00:57:25 Squirrell
Jaws.

00:57:25 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:57:26 Squirrell
Jaws so nearly snuck on.

00:57:28 Squirrell
This girl Chrissy is running across the sand dunes and just taking her clothes off on the way to the thing.

00:57:32 Squirrell
And she's never finding their ******* clothes again, by the way.

00:57:34 Squirrell
It doesn't matter again.

00:57:36 Hurst
The rating on Jaws now is 12.

00:57:38 Squirrell
Yeah, it was a PG when it came out, because they didn't have her in the middle.

00:57:42 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:57:43 Hurst
I mean, the *****.

00:57:45 Hurst
And all the blood and the horror.

00:57:46 Hurst
It's like, how?

00:57:49 Hurst
That's clearly best cases of 15.

00:57:51 Squirrell
John Wick 2, because he beats people out of his car and his car is lovely.

00:57:55 Squirrell
Evil Dead Rise is a horror film, which has a great intro.

00:57:57 Squirrell
And The Dark Knight was on my list of things.

00:58:00 Hurst
I thought Mad My Fury Road might have been a because it's just it's got such beautiful

00:58:07 Hurst
Scenery, and it's just, it's a great, it's a great intro.

00:58:10 Hurst
I thought, Oh, that's content.

00:58:12 Squirrell
It doesn't really end, to be honest.

00:58:13 Squirrell
It pretty much stops the intro to that film stops at the end of the film.

00:58:17 Squirrell
It's just because it just carries on.

00:58:18 Hurst
Funnily enough, I had friends of the show, Michael and Rachel up this weekend, and we were talking about the topic, and I said, Oh, I reckon squirrels probably can choose like a Lord of the Rings, and I went, God no, it's going to be The Lion King.

00:58:31 Hurst
100% still be The Lion King.

00:58:33 Squirrell
Yeah, I did watch the intro to Fellowship because I remember.

00:58:37 Squirrell
Laying out a lot of exposition really quickly for people that hadn't read the book, because they don't like reading about constant walking, and yet it was a right, but...

00:58:44 Hurst
Anyway, my notable mentions a lot of the same ones that you've put in there.

00:58:48 Hurst
Obviously, I've had Lion King, but we've talked about that.

00:58:50 Hurst
Top Gun.

00:58:51 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:58:52 Squirrell
Although again, I would have probably chosen Maverick.

00:58:54 Hurst
In fact, I thought that I loved the Maverick.

00:58:56 Hurst
It's the same ******* thing.

00:58:58 Hurst
Maverick is the better film.

00:58:59 Hurst
I've accepted that, but actually, as the intro goes, just I

00:59:03 Hurst
I love the danger zone music and stuff, the kicks off, and they're.

00:59:09 Squirrell
Basically the same intro there, right?

00:59:10 Hurst
Just with one voice, yeah, great.

00:59:13 Hurst
Goodfellas and Casino were both brilliant.

00:59:15 Hurst
Casino was only about 30 seconds, but it was just...

00:59:20 Hurst
Boom, right.

00:59:20 Hurst
Okay, you're in it.

00:59:21 Hurst
This is going to be a violent movie.

00:59:22 Squirrell
30 seconds of a three hour movie as well, right?

00:59:24 Hurst
Gladiator was great.

00:59:26 Hurst
1917 was interesting as well, because it had that non-stop shop thing going on, which was quite cool.

00:59:31 Squirrell
Oh, yeah, technically, I guess that continues for the entire film as well, then.

00:59:34 Hurst
It does, but I think there's a stop when they get to the end of the bunker and they go out into no man's land.

00:59:38 Hurst
I feel like that's the end of the opening sequence, but it is a single, it's very clever.

00:59:43 Hurst
And World War Z.

00:59:44 Hurst
as well because how quickly it starts.

00:59:47 Hurst
They're having breakfast, they get in the car and then ******* zombies running around everywhere.

00:59:51 Hurst
It's just mad action right from the off.

00:59:55 Hurst
So that was a really good one for me as well.

00:59:57 Hurst
Lots of great stuff in there.

00:59:58 Squirrell
All right.

00:59:59 Squirrell
First, we have one episode left of this season.

01:00:03 Squirrell
Would you like to find out what it is?

01:00:05 Hurst
I think we should really.

01:00:07 Squirrell
First, here's the wheel.

01:00:08 Squirrell
Are you ready for me to spin it?

01:00:10 Hurst
Spin it.

01:00:12 Squirrell
How much goes and it's going to stop on.

01:00:15 Squirrell
It's going to be acting dynasties.

01:00:17 Squirrell
Acting dynasties.

01:00:19 Squirrell
Like the Hemsworth, for example.

01:00:25 Squirrell
Wait, is that Dallas?

01:00:27 Hurst
Is it I don't know.

01:00:29 Squirrell
I get them too confused.

01:00:30 Squirrell
Acting dynasties.

01:00:34 Squirrell
All right.

01:00:35 Squirrell
Pretty sure that one is from Adam.

01:00:40 Squirrell
Thank you, Adam, for suggesting acting dynasties.

01:00:43 Hurst
Yeah, interesting.

01:00:44 Squirrell
We'll get on it.

01:00:44 Hurst
There you go, Adam.

01:00:45 Hurst
You've got the last one of the second season.

01:00:47 Squirrell
There you are.

01:00:48 Squirrell
Wow.

01:00:48 Squirrell
Blimey.

01:00:49 Hurst
Now we've got that bit at the end where we're trying to remember what we do before we sign off.

01:00:54 Squirrell
Try and remember what we do.

01:00:57 Squirrell
I've got your window.

01:00:58 Squirrell
Don't ******* help me.

01:00:59 Squirrell
We should just use the same one from last time.

01:01:01 Hurst
Only we had the ends buttoned up like we've got the opening buttoned up.

01:01:04 Squirrell
You would like to **** that up today.

01:01:06 Squirrell
Well, rankers.

01:01:08 Squirrell
There's us, there's our list.

01:01:10 Squirrell
The most important thing you can do now is vote.

01:01:13 Squirrell
If you do nothing else, vote.

01:01:15 Squirrell
That's the important thing because if you don't vote and you think, oh, that should never have won, well, look at America and the trouble they're in now, right, Ohio?

01:01:23 Squirrell
So vote.

01:01:25 Squirrell
Voting is important.

01:01:26 Hurst
It is.

01:01:26 Hurst
And if we do get to the mighty hundred mark, I will be extremely excitable.

01:01:31 Hurst
So you've got that to look forward to.

01:01:34 Hurst
And all we have to do is everyone, if everyone who listens votes, then it'll get done.

01:01:37 Squirrell
Oh yeah, we'd smash it out the park.

01:01:38 Squirrell
And we do always tell you to tell your friends about us.

01:01:41 Squirrell
So we've done that before.

01:01:42 Squirrell
So tell people you don't know about us this time.

01:01:43 Hurst
I don't know if they're doing it.

01:01:46 Hurst
We don't tell you guys to do anything.

01:01:48 Squirrell
No, yeah, we don't make demands.

01:01:49 Squirrell
We make demands about the voting.

01:01:51 Squirrell
We've got to vote.

01:01:52 Squirrell
Maybe you could tell your friends slash

01:01:54 Squirrell
people you don't know.

01:01:55 Squirrell
How do they vote?

01:01:56 Squirrell
Excellent question.

01:01:57 Squirrell
They go to topfivefaceoff.co.uk and they click vote for Squirrel or vote for Hurst.

01:02:02 Squirrell
That's very, very simple indeed.

01:02:03 Hurst
That's really easy.

01:02:04 Squirrell
It's a bit like typing, then go to TFFO.uk.

01:02:07 Squirrell
They're going to get to the same place.

01:02:09 Squirrell
So exciting.

01:02:09 Hurst
And that's really easy.

01:02:10 Hurst
How come everyone isn't voting already?

01:02:12 Squirrell
Why isn't everyone voting?

01:02:14 Squirrell
Well, because they don't, not everyone listens.

01:02:15 Hurst
Well, non-voters who haven't voted previously, write to us, tell us why you're not voting, and we'll see if we can rel it here.

01:02:21 Squirrell
More effort than you've been previously bon voting.

01:02:24 Hurst
Quite a bit of extra effort in to make up for the lack of effort before and then we'll just see what we can do.

01:02:29 Squirrell
If you want to write to us rankers, hello at topfivefaceoff.co.uk or you can put a comment in when you vote.

01:02:36 Squirrell
If you do that, don't forget to tell us who you are.

01:02:38 Squirrell
We have quite a few anonymouses.

01:02:40 Squirrell
Unless you don't want to.

01:02:42 Squirrell
If you want to support the show besides maybe telling your friends slash enemies slash random people on the street about us, you can join our Patreon.

01:02:49 Squirrell
Only a pound.

01:02:50 Hurst
How many of those have we got left?

01:02:51 Squirrell
One slot.

01:02:53 Squirrell
One pound slot left.

01:02:54 Squirrell
Yep.

01:02:54 Hurst
Don't miss out guys.

01:02:55 Hurst
Otherwise it's going to cost you 2 pounds in the future.

01:02:58 Squirrell
You can submit a topic for us to rank.

01:03:01 Squirrell
And as you just heard, they're completely chosen at random.

01:03:03 Squirrell
So it's not like we pick our favorites.

01:03:05 Squirrell
And your topic could be one of our episodes.

01:03:09 Squirrell
And you do that on the Patreon website, patreon.com slash Top Five Face Off.

01:03:12 Squirrell
Or just follow one of the many links at the bottom of the Top Five Face Off website.

01:03:16 Squirrell
We're also on Blue Sky.

01:03:18 Squirrell
We're on Facebook.

01:03:19 Squirrell
You know how to e-mail us.

01:03:21 Squirrell
Blah, blah, blah.

01:03:22 Squirrell
Pretty sure I just cut her first off who was going to say something about Patreons?

01:03:25 Hurst
I can't remember anymore.

01:03:26 Squirrell
For 5 pounds a month, you can get your name read out each episode by Hurst in the style of my choosing, just like this from Agent Smith, as we have locked in the Matrix at #3.

01:03:40 Hurst
Okie dokie.

01:03:41 Squirrell
Shouting out to the number ones is...

01:03:44 Hurst
Pointless, Mr.

01:03:45 Hurst
Squirrel.

01:03:46 Squirrell
They can already hear you.

01:03:49 Squirrell
They are the very fabric of your reality.

01:03:53 Squirrell
Moneyslinger and Goddess Jasmine Kovac, they exceed the limitations of the banalities of mere ranking.

01:04:03 Hurst
Gaz Chap and Dav Paz are on the inside whilst others are merely looking in.

01:04:10 Hurst
Their commitment runs deeper.

01:04:12 Hurst
Their passion is much greater.

01:04:15 Hurst
They are inevitable, Mr.

01:04:18 Hurst
Squirrel.

01:04:19 Hurst
They are the number ones.

01:04:25 Squirrell
Superb, if you want to be included in that list, patreon.com/top5faceoff.

01:04:29 Squirrell
First!

01:04:30 Squirrell
First, my wife is in Canada, my house.

01:04:33 Squirrell
Oh no, this is such a mess.

01:04:34 Squirrell
And I need paintings to cover up all the messes.

01:04:37 Squirrell
Where can I get such a thing?

01:04:38 Hurst
Well, you could either message me directly and say, I'm looking for something very specific.

01:04:43 Hurst
Or you could go and peruse some of my existing arts at dochouseart.co.uk.

01:04:47 Hurst
Rankers are still able to get discounts.

01:04:50 Hurst
Still, haven't turned that off.

01:04:51 Hurst
No, I'm just, I'm leaving it open for the rankers.

01:04:54 Hurst
I'm hoping that we might get some more of it in there.

01:04:57 Hurst
And that is the facts are exact, all one word that will get you a 30% discount.

01:05:02 Hurst
I'm practically making a lot at this point, but for you guys.

01:05:05 Squirrell
I check out on your website, right?

01:05:06 Hurst
Yeah, I'll absolutely check out the website.

01:05:08 Hurst
The facts are exact.

01:05:09 Hurst
If you want me to do something specific for you, which an unnamed Patreon has actually commissioned, I could say, so love you.

01:05:18 Hurst
I won't call them out on telly, on telly.

01:05:21 Hurst
I won't call them out on the podcast.

01:05:23 Hurst
Unless they...

01:05:24 Hurst
Yeah, I don't know where Telly came from.

01:05:27 Squirrell
This is getting popular.

01:05:29 Hurst
Yeah.

01:05:30 Hurst
Anyway, so if you want something niche or specific, just get in touch.

01:05:34 Hurst
I can do it.

01:05:35 Squirrell
All right, there you are.

01:05:36 Squirrell
Please rewind this podcast for the next people that come along and we will see you next time for our final episode of season 2.

01:05:45 Squirrell
And we'll be doing Acting Dynasties.

01:05:48 Hurst
Indeed.

01:05:51 Hurst
See you later, Rankers.

01:05:53 Hurst
I love you so much.

01:06:00 Harriet
Top Five Face Off is presented by Matt Hurst and Matt Squirrel and produced by Power Storm Awesome Fire Incorporated.

01:06:07 Harriet
For more details and to vote for winner, visit topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

01:06:12 Harriet
Thanks for listening.

01:06:29 Squirrell
Aside from.

01:06:43 Hurst
That, let's just do the normal thing.

01:06:45 Squirrell
All right.

01:06:48 Squirrell
Movie opening sequences.

01:06:56 Squirrell
Forgot what I say.

01:06:58 Squirrell
He's mad.

01:07:00 Squirrell
Good afternoon, good evening, and good night.

01:07:02 Squirrell
It's not even what I say.

01:07:03 Hurst
I would mess up the ranker's heads.

01:07:05 Squirrell
Don't have many outtakes before we start, do we?

01:07:08 Squirrell
Right.

01:07:11 Squirrell
It's part of the Hurst gang who don't listen to her before they vote.

01:07:15 Hurst
I'm sure you have the same gang kicking out there somewhere.

01:07:19 Hurst
They're just not as vocal.

01:07:20 Squirrell
******* yet to hear from them.

01:07:23 Squirrell
Hurst is being bothered by a fly, everyone at home.

01:07:26 Squirrell
He is raging away.

01:07:27 Hurst
And he just ******* flew for the window and then turned round just as it was about to leave and went, nah, and just flew at my face again.

01:07:35 Squirrell
Oh, ****.

01:07:37 Squirrell
Money Slinger out.

01:07:38 Squirrell
Thanks, Money Slinger.

01:07:39 Squirrell
Doesn't say what the excellent song on my list is.

01:07:42 Squirrell
I think that's just called the fly, everybody.

01:07:44 Hurst
No, the fly just went out of the window.

01:07:45 Squirrell
Oh, good job.

01:07:50 Hurst
I might do some nerdy gaming stuff and see if I can.

01:07:54 Hurst
sell them in there for store credit so I don't actually have to keep buying board games.

01:07:58 Squirrell
I can just have a craft and a low cut top, mate.

01:08:01 Squirrell
Done.

01:08:01 Squirrell
Money in the bank?

01:08:03 Hurst
Yeah.

01:08:03 Squirrell
******* just a pair of *****.

01:08:05 Squirrell
I'd be all over that.

01:08:06 Hurst
Everyone loves *****.

01:08:08 Squirrell
Oh, hell yeah.

01:08:11 Hurst
I'm a bad out of hell.

01:08:15 Hurst
I am a bad out of hell.

01:08:20 Squirrell
I'm going to make you read the names and the style that we need to hear in person.

01:08:26 Squirrell
Get you cancelled.

01:08:30 Hurst
Superb.

01:08:31 Hurst
But #3, I've got something that's a lot more mainstream, which is...

01:08:37 Squirrell
Wait, I'm going to find my app.

01:08:39 Squirrell
Where's my app?

01:08:40 Squirrell
Oh man, what's it even called?

01:08:42 Squirrell
DJ something.

01:08:44 Squirrell
DJ Horn.

01:08:44 Squirrell
DJ Horn.

01:08:48 Hurst
It's not worth it.

01:08:50 Squirrell
All right.

01:08:52 Hurst
Have it lined up next time, just in case.

01:08:53 Hurst
Why keep it out because you never mind.

01:08:54 Squirrell
I feel like Tim Westwood.

01:09:01 Squirrell
Oh, I can't hear you.

01:09:01 Squirrell
Did you press your mute button?

01:09:03 Hurst
I did press the mute button.

01:09:04 Squirrell
Excellent.

01:09:05 Squirrell
There we are.

01:09:06 Squirrell
Good job.

01:09:07 Squirrell
Good job.

01:09:07 Squirrell
You said something before I started.

01:09:08 Squirrell
I wouldn't have realised until I finished.

01:09:12 Hurst
Anyway, yes, let's stop before we get to #1 then.

01:09:18 Hurst
sailed the ship down the old alleyway of what's the worst?

01:09:23 Squirrell
Really lost where I was going with that metaphor, didn't I?

01:09:30 Squirrell
*** ****.

01:09:32 Squirrell
And then you can give us an idea of something to rate for our top five.

01:09:38 Hurst
To rate.

01:09:40 Squirrell
Yeah, ******* right.

01:09:41 Squirrell
What the ****?

01:09:41 Squirrell
Top Five rate of?

01:09:43 Squirrell
No, it's not.

01:09:44 Squirrell
**** my Christ.

01:09:44 Hurst
How are the raters today?

01:09:45 Squirrell
Raters.

01:09:51 Hurst
******* dog shouting in the background through my excellent speech.

01:09:56 Squirrell
Good luck me dragging some ******* sense out of all that ******** in the edit.

01:10:01 Hurst
Yeah, maybe we could just re-record it all now if you like.