S02E02: Post-apocalyptic Movies and TV Shows

Transcript

00:00:00 Harriet
Top Five Face-Off contains adult themes and language that some people may find offensive.

00:00:05 Harriet
Listener discretion is advised.

00:00:07 Squirrell
He's Matt Hurst.

00:00:08 Hurst
He's Matt Squirrel.

00:00:09 Squirrell
And this is Top Five Face-Off, the official world rankings of everything.

00:00:14 Squirrell
What are we ranking today, Hurst?

00:00:16 Hurst
Well, Squirrel, today we shall be ranking the top five post-apocalyptic films or TV shows.

00:00:21 Squirrell
Coming right up after this.

00:00:37 Harriet
If there's more than one, then there's a best and a worst.

00:00:41 Harriet
If there's more than five, call Squirrel and Hearst.

00:00:44 Harriet
It's the top fun face-off.

00:00:47 Harriet
Actual facts.

00:00:48 Harriet
It's the top fun face-off.

00:00:50 Harriet
Facts are exact.

00:00:52 Harriet
Top fun face-off.

00:00:54 Harriet
Top fun face-off.

00:01:00 Hurst
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening all, good night rankers.

00:01:03 Hurst
Welcome back, or if you're new, welcome to the show.

00:01:07 Hurst
For all our new rankers, why don't you tell them what we do here and why we do it?

00:01:11 Squirrell
Welcome rankers, this is Top Five Face Off, the official world ranking of everything.

00:01:16 Squirrell
Every week we have a new subject suggested by our Patreons and we choose the top five things in that list as well as the worst and we rank them for your ranking pleasure and then you

00:01:26 Squirrell
Come on to our website www..topfivefaceoff.co.uk and vote on which one of us is correct.

00:01:31 Squirrell
One of us is always correct.

00:01:33 Hurst
Importantly, we can't get straight to the point because we're British.

00:01:36 Squirrell
Oh, absolutely not.

00:01:37 Hurst
How's the weather been?

00:01:38 Squirrell
All right, It's been kind of warm.

00:01:40 Squirrell
We're into November now.

00:01:41 Squirrell
In fact, it's been a very mild November.

00:01:44 Squirrell
You as the gardening person will probably talk more to that.

00:01:46 Squirrell
But the only time it's really rained hard was when I was still outside watching fireworks on Friday.

00:01:52 Squirrell
So they were good fireworks, but the weather was rainy.

00:01:56 Squirrell
I don't care because I'm waterproof, but it does tend to annoy all the people around me.

00:01:59 Hurst
Fair enough.

00:02:00 Hurst
We'll come back to the fact that you're waterproof, because combined with the fact that you don't get hangovers, that's probably bumped you up a level on the

00:02:08 Hurst
man, rating scale.

00:02:09 Squirrell
You're waterproof as well.

00:02:10 Squirrell
I'd just like to point that out.

00:02:12 Hurst
I think you're on AI soak up water like a sponge.

00:02:17 Squirrell
Wow, what?

00:02:17 Squirrell
Your skin is just naturally porous, but the water doesn't go in you, right?

00:02:24 Squirrell
Sorry, talk about the way that hurts.

00:02:27 Hurst
My notes were mild for the time of year.

00:02:29 Hurst
You mentioned

00:02:31 Hurst
about the garden, which is a good point.

00:02:33 Hurst
It's been that mild that my cherry tree has decided to blossom at the end of October going into November.

00:02:39 Squirrell
That's not going to be a very good crop.

00:02:41 Hurst
Well, I don't think it's going to be a fruit-bearing one anyway.

00:02:44 Hurst
It's relatively young.

00:02:44 Hurst
It might just be a blossom tree, which is fine for me.

00:02:48 Hurst
But it is a bit weird because I've got these little pink flowers and these brown leaves and it's just a strange combination.

00:02:54 Hurst
I've taken a photo.

00:02:55 Hurst
I'll stick it on the Facebook group so everyone can go, oh, intriguing.

00:03:00 Hurst
So yeah, mild

00:03:01 Hurst
for the time of year.

00:03:02 Hurst
That's the weather.

00:03:03 Hurst
Aside from that, what's been going on?

00:03:04 Squirrell
Well, I went to watch the fireworks.

00:03:06 Squirrell
It's been Firework Day.

00:03:07 Squirrell
Non-British listeners may be wondering why I'm talking about Firework Day in November, especially if you're from America and you think, well, we set off fireworks on the 4th of July.

00:03:14 Squirrell
Well, we do it on the 5th of November to celebrate when somebody tried to blow up Parliament but didn't, right?

00:03:20 Squirrell
That's kind of the gist of it, hooray.

00:03:22 Squirrell
And we celebrate with massive fires and explosions and playing with explosives in our back gardens.

00:03:27 Hurst
It's so British, isn't it?

00:03:28 Hurst
We celebrate the good old college tribe.

00:03:30 Hurst
We try to blow up Parliament.

00:03:31 Hurst
Parliament didn't get there, so we'll just celebrate a good effort.

00:03:34 Squirrell
Are we celebrating the effort or are we celebrating the fact he was caught?

00:03:38 Hurst
I mean, who knows anymore?

00:03:41 Squirrell
I feel we're celebrating his execution.

00:03:43 Squirrell
That's why we used to burn the guy on the bomb.

00:03:46 Squirrell
You don't see that so much anymore.

00:03:48 Squirrell
Why don't we burn people anymore?

00:03:50 Squirrell
That's part of the ritual of firework day.

00:03:52 Squirrell
You don't often see bonfire, let alone with a dude on top.

00:03:55 Squirrell
Not a real dude, listeners.

00:03:56 Hurst
It's an ethical grey area burning people.

00:03:58 Hurst
I think it's probably best not done.

00:04:01 Squirrell
In the proper olden days, we're moving right on to this is making me feel old, I guess.

00:04:05 Squirrell
They used to make like a scarecrow man and wheel him down the street, didn't they, and collect money for charity.

00:04:11 Squirrell
Penny for the guy, they would say.

00:04:13 Squirrell
Gosh.

00:04:13 Squirrell
And then they'd burn him and everybody would cheer, especially the kids would love it if his head fell off.

00:04:18 Squirrell
He rolled down the bonfire.

00:04:20 Squirrell
Best.

00:04:20 Hurst
We'd have had Penny for the guy.

00:04:22 Squirrell
Oh.

00:04:22 Hurst
That's new to me.

00:04:24 Hurst
Maybe that was quite localized to your street.

00:04:26 Squirrell
Maybe it was just a local thing to me, but yeah.

00:04:29 Squirrell
It was just for whatever charity the fireworks show was for that way.

00:04:32 Squirrell
But now you just have to buy tickets like everyone else.

00:04:34 Squirrell
It cost us like 60 quid to go to the fireworks.

00:04:38 Hurst
Well, what's been gripping my **** this week is also along the same thing.

00:04:41 Hurst
As a person that has four dogs, 4 rescue dogs who are

00:04:46 Hurst
skittish and reactive.

00:04:48 Hurst
Fireworks night would be okay.

00:04:50 Hurst
It's meant to be 5th of November.

00:04:51 Hurst
Fine.

00:04:52 Hurst
Have your display if you must.

00:04:54 Hurst
But it's been going on all ******* week.

00:04:57 Hurst
They have them on Monday.

00:04:58 Hurst
Who does fireworks on a Monday night?

00:04:59 Hurst
Someone at the end of our road, that's who.

00:05:01 Hurst
And it went on for about an hour and a half and it absolutely ripped the dogs.

00:05:06 Hurst
Yeah, that says maybe, but it was a Monday night and it went on too long for a local residential firework display.

00:05:12 Hurst
And then there were people doing it on Tuesday.

00:05:15 Hurst
Wednesday was

00:05:16 Hurst
because that was the 5th.

00:05:18 Hurst
So I was like, no, okay.

00:05:20 Hurst
And then again on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I was like, I get the fireworks are called, but they should only be allowed on one day because it absolutely messes with pets.

00:05:30 Hurst
That's true to those guys who were just doing it on the wrong day.

00:05:35 Squirrell
Allow me to question you this, fun police.

00:05:37 Squirrell
For people that are scared of your dogs, are you happy to only have your dogs on one day?

00:05:40 Squirrell
Because I know how ******* noisy your dogs are.

00:05:44 Hurst
Yeah, no, that's not the same thing at all.

00:05:46 Hurst
I don't have any capacity to stop them from barking at stuff.

00:05:52 Hurst
But that's probably worse.

00:05:55 Hurst
I don't choose to make them bark.

00:05:56 Hurst
Is it that people have chosen to make big loud bangs?

00:06:02 Hurst
Is that worse than my dogs barking?

00:06:04 Squirrell
You've chosen to have the dogs.

00:06:06 Hurst
Yeah, and when they bark, I bring them inside so as not to upset the neighbours.

00:06:10 Squirrell
How dare they do the thing they enjoy?

00:06:12 Squirrell
It's ruining the thing I enjoy.

00:06:15 Hurst
Yeah, I think you're looking that entirely wrong.

00:06:18 Squirrell
Am I?

00:06:18 Squirrell
Is that the same way that some listeners listening to the podcast, right?

00:06:22 Hurst
No, more so.

00:06:23 Hurst
More so.

00:06:24 Hurst
That's a good episode already.

00:06:25 Hurst
Right.

00:06:25 Hurst
So yeah, that's been gripping my **** but I do need to pop back to what's been going on because Hot Wife Carly had her birthday on Friday.

00:06:33 Hurst
So happy birthday, Carly.

00:06:34 Hurst
Really.

00:06:35 Squirrell
Happy birthday, Carly.

00:06:37 Squirrell
I hope Hurst got you something good.

00:06:38 Squirrell
What did you get, Hurst?

00:06:40 Hurst
I got her some really cool stuff.

00:06:41 Hurst
I got her a couple of Lego things.

00:06:43 Hurst
One of them was Hei Hei off of Moana.

00:06:45 Hurst
It's a little chicken for those that don't know.

00:06:48 Hurst
It's her favourite character.

00:06:49 Hurst
She always likes the ones that are like the underdog.

00:06:52 Hurst
You can tell straight away which one's going to be her favourite.

00:06:55 Hurst
So I got her Hei Hei and I also got her a Lego night bus off of Harry Potter.

00:06:59 Hurst
So she's pretty pleased with those.

00:07:01 Hurst
I think she at least made a good pretense as to being pleased.

00:07:04 Hurst
But the ultimate was I got her a Snugsy.

00:07:08 Squirrell
The thing, the blankets you wear.

00:07:10 Hurst
No, not a slanket.

00:07:15 Hurst
No, a snugsy is like a cross between a pillow and a cuddly toy.

00:07:21 Hurst
In fact, wait there, squirrel.

00:07:33 Squirrell
This is excellent content for our audio listeners.

00:07:36 Hurst
Yeah, but we're going to give this to all our special Patreons.

00:07:39 Hurst
We're going to get some stuff posted.

00:07:40 Hurst
That's outstanding stuff.

00:07:41 Squirrell
I love you for giving me more work to do.

00:07:42 Hurst
That's fine.

00:07:43 Hurst
I can do it.

00:07:43 Hurst
Just give me access.

00:07:44 Hurst
So A Snugsy.

00:07:45 Hurst
Yeah, I got one of those and it's absolutely banging.

00:07:48 Hurst
One of those things that I saw it online and I thought it's going to be either one of those amazing internet purchases where it's everything you hoped for or it's going to be one of those really disappointing piece of crap.

00:07:58 Hurst
And it was not disappointing at all.

00:07:59 Squirrell
They're great.

00:08:00 Squirrell
Excellent.

00:08:00 Squirrell
They are.

00:08:01 Squirrell
Hurst to show me his Snugsy.

00:08:02 Squirrell
It is.

00:08:03 Squirrell
Indeed, brilliant.

00:08:04 Squirrell
So there we are.

00:08:06 Hurst
Yeah, so happy birthday, Carly.

00:08:08 Squirrell
Happy birthday, Carly.

00:08:11 Hurst
So we should probably also say what's going on right now for the Rankers.

00:08:14 Hurst
We are doing a new format for the show.

00:08:18 Squirrell
Oh, yes.

00:08:18 Hurst
Why don't you tell them a little bit more about that, squirrel?

00:08:21 Squirrell
It's pretty simple, Rankers.

00:08:23 Squirrell
Life is busy.

00:08:24 Squirrell
So this show will be coming to you every two weeks, every second Wednesday, rather than every week.

00:08:29 Squirrell
That's pretty simple.

00:08:30 Squirrell
You will have longer to vote.

00:08:31 Squirrell
I can't tell you exactly how long

00:08:33 Squirrell
You'll have to vote because I'm going to put a thing on which stops you from being able to vote when we have recorded the episode because obviously when we record it, that is the final say.

00:08:41 Squirrell
But it'll be at least a week, at least a week.

00:08:43 Squirrell
And then once a month, every four weeks or so, we will do something special for our Patreons.

00:08:49 Squirrell
What's our first special thing here?

00:08:50 Squirrell
Let's tell them all about it.

00:08:51 Hurst
Our first special thing is going to be a top five dwarfs from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

00:08:59 Squirrell
You've been wanting to do that for ages, because I don't seen Snow White and the Seven ******* Dwarfs.

00:09:04 Squirrell
Right, you won't be able to vote, pictures.

00:09:06 Hurst
Well, you did put me on the put me on the spot.

00:09:09 Squirrell
I did put you on the spot, because I had no idea what we were going to do, because they can't vote for things.

00:09:14 Hurst
We'll do that one, because again, it's pretty simple.

00:09:16 Hurst
It's a short film, and they don't actually have much going on except their names.

00:09:21 Hurst
Much going for them.

00:09:23 Squirrell
So you can just based on their names.

00:09:25 Hurst
Yeah, I mean, you could do.

00:09:26 Squirrell
I might pick it based on their names.

00:09:29 Squirrell
watch the film and just assume stuff about them.

00:09:33 Hurst
Yeah, there you go.

00:09:33 Squirrell
And you can tell me how close they are.

00:09:34 Squirrell
No, I'm not going to talk about that anymore because I'm going to ruin the surprise, Patreons.

00:09:38 Squirrell
But rest assured, something special is coming.

00:09:41 Hurst
Hopefully, Squirrel will give me access to Patreon and I'll **** ***** with it and hopefully I'll be able to post your bits here and there that are going to be purely for our Patreons.

00:09:49 Squirrell
And it's a bargain price of 1 pound a month, don't forget bankers, 1 pound a month for me to have to now do **** tons of work on the website to make sure that only certain people can listen to certain things, but it's going to be fine.

00:10:00 Squirrell
It's going to be fine, I'm beautiful.

00:10:01 Hurst
Did you just call them bankers?

00:10:03 Squirrell
No, I meant to say rankers.

00:10:04 Squirrell
Did I call them bankers?

00:10:05 Squirrell
Sorry, rankers.

00:10:06 Hurst
I thought you said bankers.

00:10:06 Hurst
It's either you said that or I heard it wrong.

00:10:09 Hurst
Anyway, we should probably get to, yeah, what happened last time.

00:10:14 Hurst
Who won?

00:10:15 Squirrell
We'll start with the first one.

00:10:17 Squirrell
And it says, now that I'm a member of the big girl Patreon, does my vote count more?

00:10:22 Squirrell
That's from Meg 98.

00:10:23 Squirrell
Thanks, Meg.

00:10:24 Squirrell
Of course it is.

00:10:24 Squirrell
You of course became a big girl Patreon, an official supporter back last week.

00:10:29 Hurst
And in answer to your question, who did you vote for?

00:10:32 Squirrell
She voted for me.

00:10:33 Hurst
Then no.

00:10:35 Squirrell
I imagine.

00:10:36 Squirrell
All right, let's have a vote for you, Hurst.

00:10:38 Squirrell
A lot of the comments for you are very long, Hurst.

00:10:41 Squirrell
Your rankers have been bashing away at their keyboards.

00:10:44 Squirrell
So here we go.

00:10:45 Hurst
Thanks, guys.

00:10:45 Squirrell
It's not necessarily a good thing, Hurst.

00:10:48 Squirrell
We'll decide whether it's a good thing in a moment.

00:10:51 Squirrell
As much as I adore American Werewolf in London, brackets, such glorious film and with a fun soundtrack, exclamation point, closed brackets, Return to Oz has swung this one for me.

00:11:01 Squirrell
Creepy and unsettling the whole way through.

00:11:03 Squirrell
My well-meaning dad put it on to distract me while he did some very important dad jobs and returned to find his seven-year-old daughter utterly traumatized, brackets.

00:11:11 Squirrell
He later made a similar mistake when he let me watch Rocky Horror Far Too Young, but that changed me in a very different way, exclamation point, closed brackets.

00:11:19 Squirrell
Brilliant episode.

00:11:20 Squirrell
Thank you guys.

00:11:21 Squirrell
Perfect listening for a post-Halloween sugar hangover.

00:11:24 Squirrell
Love from Glitterbug.

00:11:26 Squirrell
Kiss, kiss, kiss.

00:11:28 Squirrell
Thanks, Glitterbug.

00:11:29 Hurst
Good shout, Glitterbug.

00:11:29 Hurst
It was absolutely traumatizing.

00:11:31 Hurst
I'm glad that I'm not alone in that.

00:11:33 Hurst
I didn't think I could be.

00:11:34 Squirrell
Hat tip to the greatest actor of our generation, Mr.

00:11:37 Squirrell
Matt Hurst.

00:11:38 Squirrell
It's either that or he genuinely thought that Return to Oz was anything other than a batshit choice for a #4 in his top five horror movies.

00:11:46 Squirrell
What the ****?

00:11:48 Squirrell
Seriously, what the actual ****?

00:11:51 Squirrell
True that.

00:11:56 Squirrell
So different opinions between our rankers there.

00:11:59 Hurst
Yeah, in fairness, I did deliberately make them think it was going to be The Exorcist when it wasn't.

00:12:06 Hurst
So, I played the game a little bit, but I still maintain that's an absolutely horrifying film.

00:12:13 Squirrell
Well, let's continue.

00:12:16 Squirrell
Excellent episode.

00:12:17 Squirrell
Tough one to call, but Blair Witch sealed it for me.

00:12:21 Squirrell
Quick pause.

00:12:21 Squirrell
Who do you think they voted for, Hurst.

00:12:24 Hurst
Me.

00:12:26 Squirrell
You're right.

00:12:28 Squirrell
But this one's not so bad.

00:12:30 Squirrell
I loved it when it came out and it was the scariest film I'd seen to that point.

00:12:33 Squirrell
However, I re-watched it recently and I just found it boring.

00:12:37 Squirrell
Maybe it's to do with being 30 years older or whatever.

00:12:40 Squirrell
Brackets, I felt similar with The Ring as well, close brackets.

00:12:44 Squirrell
But there are still horror films from 30 or even 40 years ago that I love.

00:12:48 Squirrell
I was a little surprised not to see any of the 80s slash 90s slasher type films on there.

00:12:53 Squirrell
Brackets, Elm Street, Friday, Halloween, Scream, Summer, etc.

00:12:57 Squirrell
But I guess it's another topic when there are thousands of potential candidates, so perhaps it was to be expected.

00:13:02 Squirrell
Also, because you know, this hasn't gone on for long enough here.

00:13:06 Squirrell
Also, for worst film, The Human Centrimede 3 is 1,000,000 miles worse than the first one, whereas 2 is the best, best in quotes, as they are all

00:13:14 Squirrell
pretty awful.

00:13:15 Squirrell
We're in two layers of brackets right now, by the way.

00:13:17 Squirrell
We've moved to square brackets.

00:13:20 Hurst
This is a person who liked Inception, I'm guessing.

00:13:23 Squirrell
Where are we?

00:13:24 Squirrell
Christ, I'm so lost.

00:13:27 Squirrell
Anyway, two is the best one of the series, if only for the meta commentary on offer.

00:13:32 Squirrell
Close brackets.

00:13:33 Squirrell
Right.

00:13:34 Squirrell
This is already too long.

00:13:36 Squirrell
Bye.

00:13:37 Squirrell
That's it.

00:13:38 Squirrell
No name.

00:13:38 Squirrell
All that.

00:13:39 Squirrell
And they didn't put their name on.

00:13:40 Squirrell
They thought, I've gone on for too long.

00:13:42 Squirrell
I can't possibly waste another.

00:13:44 Squirrell
5 to 10 characters on saying who I am.

00:13:47 Squirrell
So I'm just anonymous.

00:13:48 Squirrell
Well, thanks, anonymous.

00:13:50 Hurst
Any others?

00:13:51 Squirrell
Oh, yeah.

00:13:52 Squirrell
Oh, my God.

00:13:52 Squirrell
Oh, my God.

00:13:53 Squirrell
Oh, my God.

00:13:53 Squirrell
The boys with Z are back.

00:13:55 Squirrell
That was all in capital letters.

00:13:57 Squirrell
After weeks of solo ranking, it's nice to have the biggest rankers back.

00:14:01 Squirrell
Now, we're not the rankers.

00:14:02 Squirrell
You're the rankers.

00:14:03 Squirrell
We are the higher architects.

00:14:05 Squirrell
You should know this, honestly.

00:14:07 Squirrell
Educate yourselves.

00:14:08 Squirrell
Squirrel gets to vote this week with a solid 5 movies, including two that made me scared of the dark for a few nights.

00:14:14 Squirrell
My own personal trauma was watching the terrible film, Leprechaun, far too young, and being unable to sleep without being tucked in on all sides, lest I would be pricked and turned into foliage, brackets.

00:14:26 Squirrell
It's a weird film, close brackets.

00:14:28 Squirrell
Welcome back.

00:14:29 Squirrell
Love and hugs, Dav Paz.

00:14:31 Squirrell
Thank you very much, Dav Paz, for your comment and for voting for me.

00:14:35 Squirrell
Long one for you, Hurst.

00:14:36 Squirrell
I'll tell you, your fans, they do like going on.

00:14:39 Squirrell
They have a boat.

00:14:41 Squirrell
Get on.

00:14:43 Squirrell
Yeah, that's telling.

00:14:45 Squirrell
Good afternoon.

00:14:47 Squirrell
Very polite.

00:14:48 Squirrell
Voted for Hurst because the horror of what lies beneath the sea has stuck in my head ever since I saw it aged 8, brackets.

00:14:55 Squirrell
Watched it for a crack in the door to the living room.

00:14:57 Squirrell
Close brackets.

00:14:58 Squirrell
The slightest brush against me when I'm in the sea makes me think I'm about to become a particularly tasty horse derby as for an aquatic monstrosity or get pulled down to become the prime exhibit in the cabinet of curiosities.

00:15:10 Squirrell
Noble mention for Blair Witch as that was a first date film for me once.

00:15:13 Squirrell
Whoops.

00:15:14 Squirrell
Yours, Bill Preston.

00:15:16 Squirrell
Thanks, Bill.

00:15:17 Hurst
Nice.

00:15:18 Hurst
Should we jump to the result or are we going to keep going?

00:15:21 Squirrell
I've got one more and this is maybe an important one, Hirst, because, well, I'll just tell you.

00:15:26 Squirrell
Welcome back, Mats.

00:15:27 Squirrell
One of the T's in brackets, good knowledge.

00:15:29 Squirrell
Good knowledge.

00:15:31 Squirrell
I don't think Hirst gets horror apart from Alien.

00:15:34 Squirrell
That's unfair in my opinion.

00:15:35 Squirrell
Excellent choice all round.

00:15:37 Squirrell
Squirrel got this one.

00:15:38 Squirrell
Easy.

00:15:39 Squirrell
And you two need to accept that your worst spot influences everyone's votes.

00:15:45 Squirrell
Facts.

00:15:46 Squirrell
And that's from Money's

00:15:49 Squirrell
Now, skipping over the fact that I'm not sure it was fair that you don't get horror because you're the shining.

00:15:55 Hurst
Yeah, Jaw's the shining psycho.

00:15:57 Hurst
How are they not horror?

00:15:58 Squirrell
But a worst spot probably does influence people, Hearst.

00:16:02 Squirrell
I mean, it shouldn't.

00:16:03 Squirrell
And we tell you, Rankers, that it shouldn't, but we know it's going to.

00:16:07 Squirrell
All right.

00:16:08 Squirrell
Hurst.

00:16:09 Squirrell
It's tight.

00:16:10 Squirrell
Oh, we had an even-ish number of comments.

00:16:12 Squirrell
Apologies if we didn't read out your comment.

00:16:15 Squirrell
Actually, I've only got one more.

00:16:16 Squirrell
It's really short.

00:16:17 Squirrell
Jaws is one of my favourite films, so this was an easy choice.

00:16:19 Squirrell
Return Towards is terrifying.

00:16:20 Squirrell
So yeah, season 2 is the season of Hurst.

00:16:22 Squirrell
I've got a good feeling about it.

00:16:23 Squirrell
That is from The Vision.

00:16:24 Squirrell
Thanks, The Vision.

00:16:25 Hurst
Yes, nice one, The Vision.

00:16:27 Hurst
To the Chase.

00:16:28 Squirrell
It's close.

00:16:28 Squirrell
It's close, Hurst.

00:16:30 Squirrell
Are you ready?

00:16:31 Hurst
Go on.

00:16:31 Squirrell
One vote in it.

00:16:32 Squirrell
Oh, wow.

00:16:35 Squirrell
That's like 18.

00:16:37 Hurst
OK.

00:16:37 Squirrell
Did you get 19 or 17 hertz?

00:16:39 Squirrell
19 or 17?

00:16:40 Squirrell
How do you feel with your guts there?

00:16:41 Hurst
19, 19.

00:16:42 Hurst
No.

00:16:42 Squirrell
*** **** it.

00:16:46 Squirrell
17.

00:16:46 Squirrell
I squeaked away in the horror episode, which is of course what you wanted to happen because you'd taken your list away.

00:16:53 Hurst
At least I don't have to go searching for that anymore.

00:16:56 Squirrell
That's true.

00:16:57 Squirrell
So here we are, my first time with the music.

00:16:59 Squirrell
Let's see how I grew.

00:17:06 Squirrell
Number 5, it was An American Werewolf in London.

00:17:09 Squirrell
At #4, it was Paranormal Activity.

00:17:14 Squirrell
At #3, Event Horizon, which nobody commented on.

00:17:18 Squirrell
At #2, The Blair Witch Project.

00:17:25 Squirrell
At the number one of the top five scariest horror movies of all time, it is Ridley Scott's Alien.

00:17:39 Hurst
Tweet.

00:17:39 Squirrell
So there we are.

00:17:41 Squirrell
Thanks for voting everybody.

00:17:42 Squirrell
And do we do anything else or do we just get ranking now, don't we Hurst?

00:17:46 Hurst
We're going to get ranking.

00:17:52 Hurst
Excellent.

00:17:53 Hurst
So we are now to the important crux of the show where we are doing our votes.

00:17:58 Hurst
But prior to launching into that, we need to decide who's going first.

00:18:01 Hurst
How are we going to do that?

00:18:02 Squirrell
I'm going to flip the coin of destiny, Hurst.

00:18:04 Squirrell
Here we go.

00:18:06 Squirrell
it went in my candle.

00:18:07 Squirrell
I thought my candle was not late.

00:18:08 Hurst
I thought it had gone in a drink.

00:18:09 Hurst
It sounded like it had gone in a drink.

00:18:12 Squirrell
Can you see what it is?

00:18:12 Hurst
It's Heads for Hurst.

00:18:14 Squirrell
It is Heads for Hurst.

00:18:16 Squirrell
Give it up.

00:18:16 Hurst
The category this week is the top five post-apocalyptic TV shows or movies.

00:18:23 Hurst
And this was a difficult one, I realised, because TV shows, I don't know if you found the same thing, are a massive disadvantage for this for two reasons.

00:18:31 Hurst
One, when we're doing it and we want to go back and re-watch a movie just to get some finesse out of it, that's two to three hours of our lives.

00:18:39 Hurst
We have to invest and go back through a movie.

00:18:41 Hurst
If you want to go back through 10 seasons of a TV show, you can't really do that in an hour.

00:18:45 Hurst
afternoon.

00:18:46 Hurst
So that's difficult for the TV show.

00:18:48 Hurst
So I did try and take that into account a bit with my rankings.

00:18:52 Hurst
But anyway, let's dive straight in.

00:18:54 Hurst
And my #5, I have the film The Book of Eli from 2010, directed by the Hughes Brothers, starring Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, and Mila Kunis.

00:19:05 Hurst
Basically 30 years after the world was largely blinded by some kind of fire or sun.

00:19:10 Hurst
They didn't really go into the deep specifics of it.

00:19:12 Hurst
And the ensuing chaos wiped out most of humanity.

00:19:15 Hurst
A lone man,

00:19:15 Hurst
walks west.

00:19:16 Hurst
His name is Eli, a drifter with a razor-sharp machete, a mission, and a book, the book of Eli, that might just rebuild humanity.

00:19:26 Hurst
So Denzel Washington moves through the wasteland like a prophet crossed with a gunslinger, radiating calm and purpose, a touch of divine menace.

00:19:34 Hurst
Basically, the Hughes Brothers paint their post-apocalypse landscape in this sort of bleached sepia tones, somewhere between kind of the road of Mad Max in terms of the tones that are going in there.

00:19:45 Hurst
The Sun Scorch

00:19:46 Hurst
highways, tattered towns, and the silence that hums with violence.

00:19:50 Hurst
When the action does hit, it's surgical.

00:19:52 Hurst
Fight sheets are elegant silhouettes with Denzo cutting through raiders and sinners, like Uma Thurman cutting through the crazy 88.

00:20:01 Hurst
Gary Oldman plays Carnegie, who's a petty tyrant in search of the book that Eli is carrying, doesn't realise he's carrying it at the beginning, but not for faith, but for control, and their battle becomes something bigger, basically the war for the soul of the survivor.

00:20:16 Hurst
The Book of Eli has a good mix of calm, which builds into tension, which is released by action and a clever story that pulls it all together.

00:20:23 Hurst
It's also got a banging twist, minor spoiler, but it's after 15 years and I think we've put down our 10 years as our statute of limitations.

00:20:30 Squirrell
It's 10 years limitations, right?

00:20:32 Hurst
I think so.

00:20:33 Hurst
By then you really ought to have watched it, but I'm not going to say what it is, but there is an excellent twist in it that makes you want to watch the whole thing again.

00:20:39 Hurst
It's that kind of a whoa.

00:20:42 Hurst
Plus also he's got Denzel Washington, Mila Kunis and Gary Alman, all of whom I think are fab.

00:20:48 Hurst
So it's a great cast.

00:20:50 Squirrell
Shut up, Meg.

00:20:51 Hurst
Yeah.

00:20:53 Hurst
I like the mix it has.

00:20:56 Hurst
I like that it was a different play.

00:20:57 Hurst
I'm not a religious person myself and there was a kind of a religious undertone to it, but it didn't either dominate it if you are a religious person or detract from it if you're not.

00:21:06 Hurst
It was just an interesting thing to hang the story on.

00:21:09 Hurst
It was interesting and different, which in a

00:21:13 Hurst
It's hard to separate yourself from the crowd.

00:21:15 Hurst
And we've obviously found a few that have, but I felt that really did it.

00:21:18 Hurst
So this week I've got two things.

00:21:20 Hurst
I've got Hearst's final thoughts sum up.

00:21:22 Hurst
A post-apocalyptic Western with biblical backbone, part samurai myth, part spiritual parable, proof that even after the end, belief can still carry weight.

00:21:32 Hurst
So that's Hearst's final thought.

00:21:33 Hurst
And I've done a fun fact for all of mine.

00:21:35 Hurst
Obviously, the final one's going to have a fun estimated fact in it as well.

00:21:39 Hurst
So the fun fact for this one is that Denzel Washington trained for months

00:21:42 Hurst
with martial arts choreographer Jeff Imada.

00:21:45 Hurst
Most of his fight scenes are in fact single take, which is very rare in modern action cinema.

00:21:51 Squirrell
Gosh, yes it is.

00:21:52 Hurst
And when you see the fight scenes, they are fluid and they look awesome.

00:21:55 Hurst
So that just makes it even better.

00:21:57 Hurst
So #5, Book of Eli.

00:21:58 Squirrell
Brilliant.

00:21:59 Squirrell
Sounds all right.

00:22:00 Squirrell
Maybe I'll watch it.

00:22:01 Squirrell
My #5 is mine's a bit small indie film that not many people have heard of, but it's called Wall-E.

00:22:11 Squirrell
And it is about a robot who lives centuries in the future after Earth has ****** itself.

00:22:17 Squirrell
So yeah, WALL-E, you will see WALL-E is a Pixar movie.

00:22:22 Squirrell
He is left behind on Earth, but then he, does he meet Eva before he gets onto that ship?

00:22:28 Squirrell
I think so.

00:22:28 Hurst
Yeah, I think he meets Eva on the Earth, doesn't he?

00:22:31 Squirrell
And that's right, yeah, yes, and then they go into space, right?

00:22:34 Squirrell
Yes, she takes him to space and then they find humanity or what's left of humanity on a big mother ship.

00:22:41 Squirrell
relationship of relaxation and what's the word for it?

00:22:44 Squirrell
Uh, not leprosy, lethathy.

00:22:48 Hurst
Lethargy.

00:22:49 Squirrell
Lethargy.

00:22:50 Squirrell
Thank you, Hearst.

00:22:51 Squirrell
Yes.

00:22:51 Squirrell
So it's a different post-apocalyptic film in that sense because the humans seem very happy to be having their every whim serviced by robots of some kind or another.

00:23:01 Squirrell
But, you know, it is still the end of humanity in that sense.

00:23:05 Squirrell
It's a Pixar movie.

00:23:06 Squirrell
Obviously, it's great.

00:23:08 Squirrell
Barely any dialogue in this whole film

00:23:11 Squirrell
Wally doesn't talk.

00:23:12 Squirrell
Well, can you say there is dialogue because he makes noises?

00:23:15 Squirrell
Do they have to be words to be dialogue?

00:23:18 Hurst
I think so.

00:23:20 Squirrell
All right.

00:23:21 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:23:21 Hurst
Malcolm's let us know.

00:23:22 Squirrell
Yeah, let us know if film melts.

00:23:24 Squirrell
If it counts as dialogue, if there's like R2D2's beeping, is that dialogue?

00:23:30 Squirrell
I bet it's in the script as R2 beeps.

00:23:31 Hurst
I'm wondering if the log relates to some kind of Latin word around language and then does beeps count as a language?

00:23:38 Hurst
Is Morse code language.

00:23:39 Squirrell
Maybe.

00:23:40 Squirrell
the mouse can let us know for sure.

00:23:42 Squirrell
But yes, Wall-E was a glorious little movie.

00:23:46 Squirrell
It was Pixar, so of course it was lovely.

00:23:48 Squirrell
And most of it was done with facial expressions of a thing that didn't have a face.

00:23:54 Squirrell
Obviously, I won't go on through it for too long, because this is only #5, something that my co-host appears to have completely just thrown out of the window.

00:24:01 Squirrell
But I do have a thing, I have a thing for you guys this week as well.

00:24:04 Squirrell
And that is, oh, a little quiz thing, what caused the apocalypse?

00:24:08 Squirrell
Now, do you know what caused the apocalypse in Wall-E?

00:24:11 Hurst
I do not remember.

00:24:13 Squirrell
Oh, that's fair enough.

00:24:14 Squirrell
It's an old film, 2008.

00:24:15 Squirrell
Basically consumerism and corporate excess.

00:24:17 Squirrell
People kept buying stuff and there was mountains of rubbish.

00:24:20 Squirrell
WALL-E was originally like a robot for clearing up rubbish.

00:24:22 Squirrell
Incredibly ineffective at his job, by the way.

00:24:25 Squirrell
Like there's far better designs for that robot.

00:24:27 Squirrell
But anyway, humanity left Earth while the cleanup was happening.

00:24:30 Squirrell
It was meant to take five years and it went on and on and on for centuries.

00:24:34 Squirrell
Like any other project wasn't managed properly, yes, probably.

00:24:38 Squirrell
So there we are.

00:24:39 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:24:40 Squirrell
Number 5, Wall-E.

00:24:42 Squirrell
Oh, bravo.

00:24:43 Hurst
No, that was a good shout.

00:24:45 Hurst
It bothered my list for sure.

00:24:46 Hurst
Because it is just a great film.

00:24:48 Hurst
Apocalypse doesn't have to be horror, but it tends to lead itself that way because the end of the world as we know it is a horrifying thought.

00:24:56 Hurst
Anyway, my #4 is a very budget film that went mad and spawned an entire new generation of zombies.

00:25:06 Hurst
And it is 28 Days Later from 2002.

00:25:09 Hurst
Can you believe that?

00:25:10 Hurst
That's twenty-three years ago that came out.

00:25:12 Hurst
Well, absolutely.

00:25:13 Hurst
Directed by Danny Boyle.

00:25:14 Hurst
Of course you can.

00:25:15 Hurst
Starring Cillian Murphy, Naomi Harris, Brendan Gleeson, and Christopher Eccleston.

00:25:19 Hurst
Basically, Jim, played by Cillian Murphy, wakes up in a deserted London hospital, eerily silent and still.

00:25:25 Hurst
The city is not sleeping.

00:25:26 Hurst
It's been emptied.

00:25:28 Hurst
Let the nightmare begin.

00:25:29 Hurst
Murphy's blank-eyed innocence, Naomi Harris's steeler resolve, and Christopher Eccleston's creepy army bad guy combined to make 28 Days Later.

00:25:37 Hurst
Less a horror film and more of a fever dream about the frag.

00:25:40 Hurst
The agility of civilization.

00:25:42 Hurst
God, I'm so wanky these days.

00:25:43 Hurst
Basically, Danny Boll took guerrilla filmmaking and a 5 million pound budget and turned it into a genre revolution.

00:25:51 Hurst
The early dawn shots of London, eerily vacant except for flapping paper and distant alarms, became an instant cinematic legend.

00:25:59 Hurst
And then just as you're lulled by the quiet, enter the sprinting infected and the game changes forever.

00:26:05 Hurst
They're not slow, lumbering undead.

00:26:08 Hurst
There's no more Romero style

00:26:10 Hurst
shamblers.

00:26:11 Hurst
They are fast, furious, and horrifyingly human.

00:26:14 Hurst
It's an outbreak that feels more like mass psychosis than zombie horror, and that's why it made my list.

00:26:20 Hurst
As a film, it's good, impressive even given the budget and the new angle on it.

00:26:24 Hurst
But it hasn't, actually funnily enough, isn't really one of my favourites.

00:26:28 Hurst
It's in my top five because I think it's just a complete step change of rejuvenation for what was kind of a tired and old genre in zombie, and it has just spawned some incredible films off the back of it.

00:26:39 Hurst
And as the original,

00:26:40 Hurst
it needed to get a shout out.

00:26:42 Hurst
So after that, in 2004, you had Dawn of the Dead and Resident Evil Apocalypse 2007, I Am Legend, Zombieland 2009, The Crazies 2010, Train to Busan 2016, World War Z 2013, Girl with All the Gift 2016, Army of the Dead 2021.

00:26:58 Hurst
These are all films that came out afterwards and used the new speedy zombies.

00:27:03 Hurst
And really before that, they'd be precious.

00:27:04 Hurst
Zombies.

00:27:06 Hurst
Zombies, nice.

00:27:07 Hurst
Before that, they'd really been precious for your attempts at fast zombies.

00:27:10 Hurst
there was 1980s Nightmare City and 1985's Return of the Living Dead.

00:27:15 Hurst
Something none of them had the cultural impact and that the swing that opened the door like 28 Days Later.

00:27:20 Hurst
Controversially, perhaps I actually liked 28 Weeks Later better.

00:27:24 Hurst
I think it's a better film with more nuance.

00:27:26 Squirrell
Oh God, there's our #4 moment first.

00:27:29 Hurst
But 28 Days Later is the one that changed everything.

00:27:34 Hurst
So that's why it's on my list.

00:27:36 Hurst
I think it's not just for what I thought, but the cultural impact of it was massive.

00:27:40 Hurst
So, Hurst's final thought, the film that put adrenaline back in the undead, it didn't just infect its characters, it infected the entire genre.

00:27:49 Hurst
And your fun fact?

00:27:51 Squirrell
Oh, yes.

00:27:52 Hurst
The scenes of Empty London were filmed at 4am with police blocking roads for only a few minutes at a time.

00:27:58 Hurst
Boil shot fast and the apocalypse never looked so real.

00:28:01 Squirrell
Well, there you are.

00:28:03 Hurst
Number 4, 28 days later.

00:28:05 Squirrell
Yeah, it's all filmed on camcorders and the most recent one was all filmed on iPhones, right?

00:28:09 Squirrell
It was interesting that you put Resident Evil Apocalypse as inspired by 28 Days Later and not, you know, the first Resident Evil movie which came back before 28 Days Later.

00:28:19 Hurst
But that wasn't super speedy running Zumbies, was it?

00:28:23 Squirrell
They had fast and slow.

00:28:24 Squirrell
I mean, the first zombie that Romero put on screen was running.

00:28:27 Hurst
Well, you know what you can find on the old internet's going, and there's a lot of misinformation on the internet, but in fairness, all those other ones that came out after it did use a very similar style of rage.

00:28:38 Squirrell
I'm going to chat about zombies as well, Hertz, but it's not the same film.

00:28:42 Squirrell
Nearly all zombie films are kind of post-apocalyptic films, really.

00:28:45 Squirrell
In fact, I'm struggling to think of a zombie film which is localised and doesn't spread out over the whole world.

00:28:50 Squirrell
But anyway, who cares?

00:28:51 Squirrell
My #4 is from 2009, and it is Zombieland.

00:28:56 Hurst
Nice.

00:28:56 Squirrell
Zombieland is funny as ****.

00:28:59 Squirrell
It's up there in my top 25 favourite films.

00:29:01 Squirrell
Zombieland is absolutely great.

00:29:03 Squirrell
It's in the US, obviously post-apocalyptic.

00:29:06 Squirrell
It's overrun by undead people.

00:29:08 Squirrell
I believe they do call them zombies.

00:29:10 Squirrell
There seems to be a thing in zombie films, especially

00:29:13 Squirrell
more recently, by more recently I mean in the last 20 years, that they'll call them anything else besides zombies.

00:29:17 Squirrell
They'll call them like walkers or biters or shamblers or the infected, right?

00:29:22 Squirrell
But never zombies.

00:29:23 Squirrell
I think 28 years later used the word zombie.

00:29:26 Squirrell
I think it might have been the first time they'd ever done it in all three films.

00:29:29 Squirrell
But anyway, that was a brief aside.

00:29:31 Squirrell
Yeah, Zombieland is all about a college student who's known as Columbus, because that's where he came from.

00:29:36 Squirrell
That's how they kind of call everybody in this film, who survives by following a set of rules, which I haven't been smart enough to write down

00:29:42 Squirrell
But the rules are like cardio, right?

00:29:44 Squirrell
And seatbelts.

00:29:46 Squirrell
Double tap.

00:29:46 Squirrell
Double tap, correct.

00:29:47 Squirrell
All things to keep him safe in the zombie apocalypse.

00:29:50 Squirrell
And he teams up with Gun Totin Tallassee, who's played by Woody Howison, who's just all good value.

00:29:56 Squirrell
And then later on sisters, Wichita and Little Rock, although.

00:30:00 Hurst
So Tallahassee, not Tallassee.

00:30:02 Squirrell
Oh, what did I say?

00:30:03 Squirrell
Tallassee?

00:30:04 Squirrell
Oh yeah, Tallahassee.

00:30:04 Squirrell
You're quite right.

00:30:05 Squirrell
I'm just.

00:30:06 Squirrell
Tennessee, where the **** is that?

00:30:08 Squirrell
They're all searching for a zombie-free area and Tallahassee is also searching for the world's last ******* because that's what he wants, a ******* *******.

00:30:20 Squirrell
Interestingly, Woody Harrelson is a vegan, so that was a fake *******.

00:30:24 Squirrell
It's...

00:30:25 Squirrell
funny.

00:30:25 Squirrell
It is kind of scary in some places, but not really.

00:30:29 Squirrell
It's more about being funny.

00:30:30 Squirrell
And they just pitched it perfectly.

00:30:32 Squirrell
Like it's properly self-aware, but it's never trying to be too clever.

00:30:37 Squirrell
It's never too smug with it.

00:30:38 Squirrell
It's just good, funny stuff.

00:30:40 Squirrell
And it's like some zombie movies, like 28 Days Later, where you were saying like it's bleak as **** right?

00:30:45 Squirrell
There doesn't seem to be any sort of anything on the horizon for your characters.

00:30:49 Squirrell
In Zombieland, they often seem to be having quite good fun whilst living among the zombies, which I love.

00:30:55 Squirrell
And genuinely, there aren't many apocalyptic films where I'm like, I would like to be hanging out with these people, just ******* shooting zombies and going, Billy ******* Murray.

00:31:06 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:31:07 Squirrell
Excellent stuff.

00:31:08 Hurst
It is a brilliant film.

00:31:10 Squirrell
Why did the zombie apocalypse happen in Zombieland?

00:31:14 Hurst
Because zombies happened, I think they made the zombies occurred.

00:31:18 Squirrell
Yeah, well, yeah, that's what caused the zombies to occur.

00:31:20 Hurst
I'd know some kind of virus.

00:31:22 Squirrell
It could have been.

00:31:23 Squirrell
I think so.

00:31:24 Squirrell
It was a contaminated batch of mad cow disease which mutated into mad person disease.

00:31:31 Hurst
I mean, that's mostly what happens, isn't it, these days for the zombie ones?

00:31:34 Hurst
It's take a punt.

00:31:35 Squirrell
Take a punt, right?

00:31:36 Hurst
Great shout on Zombieland.

00:31:38 Hurst
Woody Harrison in anything is basically gold.

00:31:41 Squirrell
Like, whether he's in Cheers a billion years ago, or whether he's in Venom.

00:31:45 Hurst
When I was at work on Tuesday, I was watching Friends with Benefits with one of my service users and Mila Kunis, obviously delightful.

00:31:53 Squirrell
Is Woody Harrison in that as well?

00:31:54 Hurst
Yeah, he's the sports writer at GQ with Justin Timberlake's character and he's gay and he.

00:32:00 Hurst
plays it so brilliantly.

00:32:02 Hurst
He's like solid guy, like really sporty and stuff, not in any way stereotypical.

00:32:08 Hurst
And she has a lion's like, hey, come on, we could go and cruise for some pipe.

00:32:11 Hurst
It's just like brilliant.

00:32:14 Hurst
Whatever Woody Harrelson does, he does it brilliantly.

00:32:18 Hurst
So yeah, great shout.

00:32:19 Squirrell
All right, cool.

00:32:20 Squirrell
What's sitting in your halfway slot, Hurst?

00:32:22 Hurst
On my hump day decision is probably going to feature again, I would guess, knowing you as I do.

00:32:28 Hurst
It is Mad Max Fury Road

00:32:30 Hurst
from 2015.

00:32:33 Hurst
Mad Max Fury Road is basically a two-hour chase sequence disguised as a movie.

00:32:38 Hurst
It's metal madness and myth roaring across the sands of oblivion.

00:32:42 Hurst
World's gone dry, water is power, gas is life, and hope rides shotgun.

00:32:47 Hurst
Tom Hardy steps into Mel Gibson's dust-caked boots as Matt Rocket Tansky, a haunted drifter with more trauma than dialogue.

00:32:54 Hurst
Really doesn't say that much in the film.

00:32:56 Hurst
But make no mistake, the film really belongs to Charlize Theron as Imperative

00:33:00 Hurst
The Furiosa, one arm, shaved head, eyes blazing, she steals the screen.

00:33:05 Hurst
And you know, you sometimes watch something just to assume that the writers were high.

00:33:09 Hurst
This one felt to me like the whole film was written in the five seconds after an adrenaline injection to the heart.

00:33:15 Hurst
See Pulp Fiction, more Uma Thurman and Quentin Tarantino.

00:33:18 Hurst
He's like, injection.

00:33:22 Squirrell
That's the second time you've mentioned Quentin Tarantino.

00:33:25 Squirrell
You mentioned Kill Bill earlier, right?

00:33:26 Squirrell
That's fine.

00:33:27 Squirrell
You know Kill Bill's out in the cinemas next month.

00:33:29 Squirrell
December the 5th, the new version of Kill Bill.

00:33:31 Squirrell
Yeah.

00:33:32 Squirrell
I'm all over that.

00:33:34 Squirrell
Sorry, carry on.

00:33:36 Hurst
So whilst Fury Road, it lacked enough nuance and range for it to make my #1.

00:33:40 Hurst
It isn't just chaos for chaos' sake beneath the nitro and the noise.

00:33:45 Hurst
There's a story about redemption, rebellion, and the fight to try and reclaim humanity from tyranny.

00:33:50 Hurst
Furiosa doesn't want to survive the world.

00:33:52 Hurst
She wants to change it.

00:33:53 Hurst
She wants to make it better.

00:33:54 Hurst
There is a story holding it together, but it is relentless action, which I know sits squarely in your wheelhouse, but I like a little bit more up and down on my roller.

00:34:06 Hurst
coaster rather than just down, down, down.

00:34:09 Hurst
That's the end of the ride.

00:34:11 Squirrell
Just sling me at the floor forever.

00:34:13 Hurst
Also, shout out to DuForia for playing electric fire guitar whilst hanging off a rig made of amps.

00:34:18 Hurst
Oh, yes.

00:34:19 Hurst
Just brilliant.

00:34:20 Hurst
Absolutely unnecessary, but at the same time, so necessary.

00:34:24 Hurst
******* super cool.

00:34:25 Hurst
The ambience of the film is fantastic.

00:34:27 Hurst
It is a fun film.

00:34:29 Hurst
So Hurst, final thought.

00:34:30 Hurst
The apocalypse as opera, loud, beautiful, relentless, a fever, dream of dust and diesel.

00:34:36 Hurst
that proves you can't find poetry in a car crash.

00:34:39 Squirrell
And the fun fact?

00:34:43 Hurst
There you are.

00:34:43 Hurst
80% of the film's effects were practical.

00:34:45 Hurst
Real cars, real stunts, real lunatics strapped to poles swinging through fire.

00:34:51 Squirrell
Yep, CGI was mostly used to change the colour of the sky, especially in the dust storms, and to take out rigging, right.

00:34:57 Hurst
Yeah.

00:34:58 Squirrell
When they had ropes tied to them, they could just splatter onto the floor.

00:35:01 Hurst
And you can feel it.

00:35:02 Hurst
It's got a real authenticity to it.

00:35:04 Squirrell
It's so kinetic, right?

00:35:06 Squirrell
It's like Top Gun 2 in that sense.

00:35:08 Squirrell
You could tell that they were getting shuffled about by those planes.

00:35:11 Squirrell
And yeah, Mad Max 2 was, Mad Max, sorry, Fury Road was similar.

00:35:16 Hurst
So that's my #3.

00:35:17 Squirrell
Oh, maybe we'll talk about it some more.

00:35:18 Squirrell
I don't know.

00:35:19 Squirrell
Who knows?

00:35:20 Squirrell
Who knows what might?

00:35:21 Squirrell
that come up in the future.

00:35:22 Squirrell
It's not my #3, Urs, because my #3 is my only television show that I've got on my list.

00:35:27 Squirrell
But again, we have discussed it before.

00:35:30 Squirrell
My television show is the outstanding Battlestar Galactica from 2004 till 2009.

00:35:37 Squirrell
Now, the Earth wasn't destroyed in Galactica, of course.

00:35:40 Squirrell
The 12 colonies were destroyed by the Cylons.

00:35:43 Squirrell
Boo! And the rest of the show is about the people alive on board one spacecraft, which is Battlestar Galactica, and many more spacecrafts.

00:35:51 Squirrell
They're all hanging around with Galactica to stay safe, and then bumbling around the universe trying to find a safe place to live.

00:35:58 Squirrell
If Zombieland was the apocalypse that I would have liked to have lived in, Battlesta Galactica is the bleakest ******* thing you have ever seen.

00:36:08 Squirrell
Oh, 12 planets just all gone.

00:36:11 Squirrell
Who's left?

00:36:12 Squirrell
Us on our little spaceship.

00:36:13 Squirrell
******* hell.

00:36:14 Squirrell
There's this outstanding part in the pilot episode where things are just kind of coming back together and organised

00:36:21 Squirrell
organization is just kind of starting to happen again.

00:36:23 Squirrell
People understand that everything has been destroyed and they're just trying to figure out what's going on.

00:36:28 Squirrell
And there's this people have kind of set up a looking for slash found section where people go along and say, have you, know, give them the names of the members of their family and they check down the list and say, okay, no, they haven't come in yet or whatever.

00:36:40 Squirrell
Or yes, you know, they have come in.

00:36:41 Squirrell
They're staying on board the Pegasus 1 or something.

00:36:44 Squirrell
And this lady goes up, who you later learn is kind of a main part of the crew, but you haven't really met her yet.

00:36:50 Squirrell
She goes up and asks about her

00:36:51 Squirrell
parents and persons sitting there very busy, like chaos everywhere.

00:36:54 Squirrell
And the person goes down the list and says, they haven't come in yet.

00:36:58 Squirrell
Do you have a photo of them?

00:36:59 Squirrell
She's like, yes, I have a photo of them.

00:37:00 Squirrell
It's like, okay, cool.

00:37:01 Squirrell
Go out around the corner, stick the photo on the wall.

00:37:04 Squirrell
And if they see it, they know someone's looking for them.

00:37:08 Squirrell
Right?

00:37:08 Squirrell
Very good.

00:37:09 Squirrell
Seems, you know, the best they can do without computers or anything like that.

00:37:12 Squirrell
So she goes around the corner and this corridor is ******* massive and it's all photos.

00:37:17 Squirrell
And it's just such a kick in the face.

00:37:19 Squirrell
And you're like, oh, ****.

00:37:21 Squirrell
is never funny.

00:37:22 Squirrell
Everyone is dead.

00:37:24 Squirrell
Everyone is dead.

00:37:25 Squirrell
Like the chances of them being alive are so small that it's basically a rounding error and it's just so *******

00:37:32 Squirrell
bleak and it continues to be bleak for like five years until potentially in the last three episodes at max.

00:37:38 Squirrell
And it's great.

00:37:39 Squirrell
I love it.

00:37:40 Squirrell
I've talked about it on the show before.

00:37:41 Squirrell
It is space flighty action, it is courtroom drama-y, it is religious, it is religious ideology, it is...

00:37:50 Squirrell
******* brilliant.

00:37:52 Squirrell
It's kind of praised by real world military strategists and political scientists and medical scientists about all the things it got right.

00:37:59 Squirrell
The creators of it spoke at the UN on how to resolve tensions between warring parties.

00:38:05 Squirrell
I mean, what the ****?

00:38:06 Squirrell
They're just some dudes that wrote a TV show.

00:38:08 Squirrell
Brilliant.

00:38:09 Squirrell
Galactica #3, Bosch.

00:38:11 Hurst
That's funny because you've chosen 2 sort of sci-fi post-apocalypses, which I think shows a real optimism from you unwittingly, perhaps, that the apocalypse ain't going to happen for a long time yet.

00:38:24 Hurst
Whereas I feel like, no, it's all stuff that could happen.

00:38:27 Squirrell
Technically, Galactica was a long time ago, but yes.

00:38:31 Squirrell
Galactica, when they actually got to Earth, they're the reason humanity exists on Earth.

00:38:36 Squirrell
Spoilers for a show that's twenty-one years old.

00:38:38 Hurst
Is that not then pre-apocalypse?

00:38:40 Squirrell
It's the pre-apocalypse of Earth, but it is the apocalypse of the Twelve Colonies that caused it such a thing.

00:38:45 Hurst
I suppose we didn't actually say what.

00:38:47 Squirrell
Didn't specify where the apocalypse is.

00:38:50 Hurst
Apocalypse.

00:38:51 Hurst
Apocalypse.

00:38:52 Hurst
The character from Asterix.

00:38:53 Squirrell
It's such a hard word.

00:38:55 Squirrell
I'll just see my next one.

00:38:59 Squirrell
****.

00:38:59 Squirrell
Oh, well, never mind.

00:39:02 Hurst
Yeah, no, very good.

00:39:03 Hurst
That's fine.

00:39:04 Hurst
I shall move on to my #2 then.

00:39:06 Hurst
So, #2.

00:39:07 Hurst
I've also chosen a TV show for my #2.

00:39:10 Hurst
This one is still running in spin-offs, I believe, and it's The Walking Dead.

00:39:15 Squirrell
Oh, no.

00:39:15 Squirrell
Oh, no.

00:39:19 Squirrell
Okay.

00:39:21 Hurst
So that's in your worst, is it?

00:39:23 Squirrell
Not the worst, but I'm surprised.

00:39:26 Squirrell
I mean, I enjoyed it for like 3 seasons and then, yeah.

00:39:29 Hurst
Well, this is the thing.

00:39:31 Hurst
So, well, I'll work through it.

00:39:33 Hurst
So, the story of it is when Sheriff Rick Grimes wakes up from a coma to find the world's gone cold and crawling.

00:39:38 Squirrell
Sounds familiar?

00:39:40 Hurst
Yeah, the apocalypse isn't a bang, it's a slow, slow heartbreak for him.

00:39:43 Hurst
The genius lies in the grind.

00:39:45 Hurst
It's not so much about the zombies, it's about people trying to stay alive.

00:39:48 Hurst
And as it goes on, the zombies become less and less a path of it, and it's more of an inconvenience.

00:39:53 Hurst
It's a slight encumbrance that happens from time to time.

00:39:55 Hurst
It's more about the story of how people evolve.

00:39:57 Hurst
But yeah, every safe haven turns sour, every new leader corrupts, every moral line gets blurred as it goes along.

00:40:04 Hurst
And in between there's silence and sweat and then the gut punch realisation, sometimes the living are way more dangerous than the walking dead.

00:40:12 Hurst
Andrew Lincoln plays Rick, evolves from him being a humble lawman in a small town to a haunted warlord, a man who loses everything except his will to protect.

00:40:21 Hurst
It's a brilliant character.

00:40:23 Hurst
character study.

00:40:23 Hurst
Norman readers gave us Darryl, who's just brilliant with his crossbow.

00:40:27 Hurst
He's a modern icon of the apocalypse.

00:40:29 Hurst
And then Melissa McBride played Carol, who proved that quiet trauma is the domestic violence suffering housewife and turns into quiet strength and deep resolve when she becomes just a real ******.

00:40:39 Hurst
So I just think there's a lot of really nice character studies in there.

00:40:41 Hurst
And actually, I read a lot of the graphic novels before it came out.

00:40:46 Hurst
So I was reading those on the train to work when I first met you.

00:40:50 Hurst
Everyone else is sitting there with their books or their iPhones.

00:40:53 Hurst
and I was reading graphic novels about The Walking Dead.

00:40:55 Hurst
And it does veer quite a long way from the graphic novels fairly early on, but it keeps a good few parts of it.

00:41:01 Hurst
And the characters...

00:41:02 Squirrell
Darryl, right?

00:41:03 Squirrell
Especially Darryl was meant to die pretty quick, but all the fans loved him, so they kept him in the show.

00:41:09 Hurst
So anyway, yes, it meandered.

00:41:12 Hurst
And I'm with you on the, yeah, the first three seasons, etc.

00:41:16 Hurst
But that's really what stopped it taking top spot.

00:41:18 Hurst
And I didn't end up finishing it.

00:41:20 Hurst
had periods when it lost me for a bit.

00:41:23 Hurst
Ultimately, because it's a TV show, it's like watching all of the Godfather films and then rating them based on the 3rd instalment, because it's just an ongoing, it's one story.

00:41:32 Hurst
Whereas if you took the first season as Walking Dead 1, you'd be like, whoa, that was amazing.

00:41:37 Hurst
But because it had time to kind of disappear up its own **** this is why I don't think it's possibly fair for us to, in the future, compare TV shows with films, because you've got so much more to do to make a TV show and keep it interesting.

00:41:51 Hurst
And some of the best TV shows

00:41:53 Hurst
you think lost it started brilliantly and turned into absolute *** ****.

00:41:56 Hurst
Heroes looked like it was going to be brilliant and then got disappointed.

00:41:58 Squirrell
Oh my god, so quickly as well.

00:42:00 Hurst
Yeah, and that was so many TV shows that if you just went right.

00:42:06 Hurst
We'll take the first three seasons of that and judge it based on that, and that's what makes a difference.

00:42:11 Squirrell
So, not last, not Heroes, though, Heroes immediately initiated the style of series D.

00:42:16 Squirrell
No, it promised a lot.

00:42:17 Hurst
So disappointed.

00:42:18 Hurst
Yeah, that was that was awful.

00:42:20 Hurst
But so that's why I thought, you know what, we can't really confirm to film in the past, but it was brilliant and it had me like

00:42:28 Hurst
from the farm days, the prison, the governor, possibly up to just before Negan's arrival.

00:42:34 Hurst
I think it was just unmissable television.

00:42:35 Hurst
It was balancing horror with humanity like nothing else that was out.

00:42:40 Hurst
There were no good zombie TV shows really, ongoing ones that evolved and had good character studies, good cast.

00:42:46 Hurst
So I've put it in at #2 because of how it started and to make it fair against the other films because a lot of things disappear and go off a cliff if you do them for too long.

00:42:56 Hurst
So there we go.

00:42:57 Hurst
So Hurst's final thought.

00:42:59 Hurst
The apocalypse doesn't end, it drags.

00:43:02 Hurst
The Walking Dead made us live in that decay week after week, showing that survival is easy, isn't easy.

00:43:09 Hurst
Staying alive is hard.

00:43:10 Hurst
Staying human is harder.

00:43:13 Squirrell
It certainly dragged.

00:43:14 Hurst
It did drag, but.

00:43:16 Hurst
for the first three or four seasons.

00:43:17 Hurst
It was just ******* brilliant.

00:43:19 Squirrell
Yes, but then they just did the first three seasons over and everyone was like this, go somewhere safe, face threat, leave, go somewhere safe, face threat, leave.

00:43:27 Hurst
But if you think how many hours of Mad Max you'd have to watch to match up to three seasons of Walking Dead, that would drag.

00:43:38 Hurst
I'd ******* love it.

00:43:39 Squirrell
You'd die.

00:43:40 Hurst
They just, but that's the thing, they wouldn't be able to keep that kind of energy up.

00:43:44 Squirrell
No, the four seasons.

00:43:47 Squirrell
What's your fun fact, Hest?

00:43:49 Hurst
My fun fact is the word zombie is never spoken once across all 11 seasons, which we've discussed already.

00:43:55 Hurst
Walkers, biters, roamers, lurkers, but never ever zombies.

00:43:59 Squirrell
All right, Hest, just a little challenge because I've just looked them up.

00:44:01 Squirrell
How many of the spin-offs can you name?

00:44:03 Hurst
Oh, there's the Book of Darryl, the Book of Carol, which is Darryl Dixon spin-off, isn't it?

00:44:10 Squirrell
Darryl Dixon, it's just called Darryl Dixon according to this.

00:44:12 Hurst
Yeah, there's Darryl Dixon, but there's now one out called the Book of Carol, isn't there?

00:44:16 Squirrell
No, because my list is ****.

00:44:18 Squirrell
Is this bad already?

00:44:21 Squirrell
The book of Carol.

00:44:24 Squirrell
that's the second season of that series.

00:44:27 Hurst
So, all right, they just changed the note.

00:44:30 Hurst
I'm giving you 2 spoilers.

00:44:32 Squirrell
Good work.

00:44:32 Squirrell
Any more?

00:44:33 Hurst
I don't know any of the others.

00:44:34 Squirrell
All right, get ready.

00:44:36 Squirrell
There's The Walking Dead, Dead City.

00:44:38 Squirrell
There's Fear the Walking Dead.

00:44:39 Squirrell
There's The Walking Dead, The Ones Who Live.

00:44:41 Squirrell
There's The Walking Dead, Well Beyond.

00:44:42 Squirrell
There's Tales of the Walking Dead.

00:44:44 Squirrell
There's The Walking Dead, Red Machete.

00:44:45 Squirrell
There's The Walking Dead, Torn Apart.

00:44:47 Squirrell
There's The Walking Dead, The Oath and The Walking Dead, Cold Storage.

00:44:50 Squirrell
Jesus Christ.

00:44:52 Hurst
Right, so my #2 is Walking Dead seasons one to three.

00:44:56 Squirrell
Right, excellent.

00:44:57 Squirrell
They have run out of ideas on whatever channels this is on.

00:45:00 Squirrell
Is it HBO?

00:45:01 Hurst
Yeah, I think so.

00:45:03 Squirrell
Owners, AMC.

00:45:04 Hurst
But it's also as soon as you can keep draining money out of the money cow.

00:45:09 Hurst
Keep on working those adders, they will do it.

00:45:11 Squirrell
God, there can't be that many people still watching it, surely.

00:45:15 Squirrell
I mean, gosh, I'm surprised anyone.

00:45:18 Squirrell
There must be.

00:45:19 Squirrell
They must be super ******** fans if they're still hanging in there and watching all that as well.

00:45:23 Squirrell
Like, ******* hell, come on.

00:45:25 Hurst
Yeah, no, it's I absolutely see your point.

00:45:28 Hurst
I think the same reason I did too.

00:45:29 Hurst
I like 80 days later.

00:45:30 Squirrell
Don't get me wrong.

00:45:31 Squirrell
Yeah, I loved them.

00:45:32 Hurst
Even though it wasn't my favourite.

00:45:33 Squirrell
Yeah, I see that.

00:45:34 Hurst
Yeah, I'm trying to do what's right for the rankers.

00:45:36 Hurst
I'm trying to make my list, not just what did I enjoy.

00:45:38 Hurst
It's like what made a real difference, what spun off to other things I enjoyed.

00:45:42 Squirrell
My #2 is kind of at the other end of that spectrum, so it didn't start all these things off, but it finished them.

00:45:49 Squirrell
Because my #2 is a, it's again, we're talking about quite a little known film, which didn't do very well at all at the box office.

00:45:57 Squirrell
It's Avengers Endgame.

00:45:59 Squirrell
There will be spoilers for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which technically is less than 10 years old for some of the movies.

00:46:04 Squirrell
So if you're worried about that, skip ahead to this robotic timestamp.

00:46:09 Harriet
51 minutes and 16 seconds.

00:46:12 Squirrell
And listen to Hearst's worst.

00:46:15 Squirrell
Absolutely, post-apocalyptic, because half of everyone across the entire universe has vanished, because Thanos did the old...

00:46:21 Squirrell
No, that was a bad one.

00:46:22 Squirrell
Snap Eddy, snap.

00:46:23 Squirrell
Nice.

00:46:23 Squirrell
And off went everybody.

00:46:26 Hurst
Are you a left clicker or a right clicker?

00:46:29 Hurst
Oh, you've got them both.

00:46:30 Hurst
I can only click left.

00:46:31 Squirrell
Oh, interesting.

00:46:32 Hurst
I can get a sort of, I see, I think I've, because I've got knackered fingers on my right, wouldn't help.

00:46:36 Squirrell
Oh, that makes sense.

00:46:37 Hurst
And left is.

00:46:39 Hurst
I can get a proper.

00:46:40 Squirrell
Oh yeah, that's loud.

00:46:40 Squirrell
Can you do the slappy finger thing?

00:46:42 Squirrell
I can't do that.

00:46:42 Hurst
Not without dislocating my wrist anymore.

00:46:45 Squirrell
Oh, okay, we'll do that.

00:46:47 Squirrell
I was talking about Avengers Endgame at some point, wasn't I?

00:46:50 Squirrell
Yeah, Thanos, he clicked his fingers and wiped out half of all life.

00:46:54 Squirrell
Right.

00:46:55 Squirrell
All life, everything.

00:46:56 Squirrell
And Endgame is five years after that.

00:47:00 Squirrell
If you haven't seen Endgame, which you might not have done, maybe you're not a fan of the Marvel movies, it is the culmination of, I think it's around 20 other

00:47:09 Squirrell
films that kind of come into Endgame and get tied up and it's like a combination of lots of other TV shows and things like that.

00:47:16 Squirrell
The final battle of Avengers Endgame featured main characters from these films and TV shows, 60 of them.

00:47:25 Squirrell
Sixty main characters in a single film.

00:47:28 Squirrell
It was so much to try and deal with.

00:47:31 Squirrell
And the Russo Brothers, right?

00:47:33 Squirrell
Who there was the Russo Brothers?

00:47:36 Squirrell
Why haven't I got who directed this written in front of me?

00:47:39 Squirrell
I'm sure it was.

00:47:40 Squirrell
Who directed Endgame?

00:47:43 Squirrell
It was the Russo Brothers.

00:47:45 Squirrell
The Russo Brothers who started out directing episodes of Community, the TV show, brilliant, then went on to do, I think it is the most profitable film of all time.

00:47:54 Squirrell
Good work.

00:47:54 Squirrell
The Russo

00:47:55 Squirrell
I hope it's not pronounced Russo, and I'm ******* that up after my earlier Tallahassee ********.

00:48:01 Squirrell
But yeah, it was so good.

00:48:03 Squirrell
I went to the cinema at midnight to see it, a bit like with Top Gun 2, because A, I really wanted to see it, and B, I figured there would be less shouty children at the midnight showing, and I was correct.

00:48:15 Squirrell
Instead, it was shouty adults, of which I was ******* one.

00:48:18 Squirrell
I have never been in a cinema that's had this much reaction to a film that's showing.

00:48:24 Squirrell
It was like

00:48:25 Squirrell
being in a cinema in America, if you're watching a movie showing a cinema in America, how they're all just whooping and hollering all the time.

00:48:32 Squirrell
And there was no throwing popcorn because we are still British.

00:48:35 Squirrell
If we're going to throw things there, Molotovs are bricks.

00:48:39 Squirrell
You've got to mean it.

00:48:41 Squirrell
But there was spontaneous cheering when certain things happened and people breaking into applause and people shouting, No, like really loudly.

00:48:51 Squirrell
And me, I was in there, I was doing it as well, which was, by the way, great.

00:48:54 Squirrell
I keep

00:48:55 Squirrell
America.

00:48:56 Squirrell
I can see why you do it like that.

00:48:57 Squirrell
It's just because there was so much on the line and so much coming together in this one movie.

00:49:02 Squirrell
And obviously the people there at midnight were also kind of quite invested and they knew all the stuff.

00:49:06 Squirrell
They're like, oh my God, that's Spider-Man.

00:49:08 Squirrell
He's coming back.

00:49:09 Squirrell
Spoilers.

00:49:09 Squirrell
Oh **** it's only six years old.

00:49:11 Squirrell
I'll go after you cut that out.

00:49:14 Squirrell
Well, it doesn't fit in a 10 year.

00:49:17 Hurst
The whole thing's a spoiler.

00:49:19 Hurst
The end game happens.

00:49:21 Squirrell
The whole thing is a spoiler, I guess.

00:49:23 Hurst
Yeah, that's true.

00:49:25 Hurst
After Thanos killed everyone, that spoils the last one.

00:49:28 Squirrell
Oh, ****.

00:49:29 Squirrell
And I've ruined what happened in your quiz question about how did it occur?

00:49:33 Squirrell
I told you at the beginning, but never mind.

00:49:35 Squirrell
Yeah, the whole thing was filmed back-to-back with the previous movie, which was Infinity War.

00:49:39 Squirrell
And it took, I think, over a year to do the whole things.

00:49:43 Squirrell
And they were obviously shooting out of order and stuff like that to get it to work.

00:49:46 Squirrell
The film itself was over 3 hours long, but honestly didn't feel like that because I was bouncing up and down in my chair.

00:49:53 Hurst
But it is brilliant.

00:49:55 Hurst
Three

00:49:56 Hurst
That is pretty decent.

00:49:57 Squirrell
It is incredible.

00:49:59 Squirrell
It brings closure.

00:50:01 Squirrell
How many apocalyptic movies have closure?

00:50:05 Squirrell
I can think of this one.

00:50:06 Squirrell
Maybe I'm Legend brings a little bit of closure.

00:50:09 Squirrell
But yeah, Endgame kind of feels weirdly grounded for a Marvel movie.

00:50:14 Squirrell
Like Captain America is running therapy support groups now.

00:50:18 Squirrell
Like that's what he does because there's no one to fight against anymore and everything's collapsing.

00:50:21 Squirrell
And it also has the first openly gay person in a Marvel movie

00:50:25 Squirrell
happens to be one of the people at the therapy who says, my boyfriend or my husband, I'm not sure which.

00:50:30 Squirrell
He's the first one in all those ******* movies.

00:50:32 Squirrell
Good one, Marvel.

00:50:33 Squirrell
But anyway, yep, Endgame 2.

00:50:36 Squirrell
Loved it.

00:50:36 Squirrell
Not Endgame 2.

00:50:37 Squirrell
Endgame is at #2, and I loved it.

00:50:40 Hurst
It is, and we carry on.

00:50:42 Hurst
My post-apocalypse always feels more raw to me because I can see that it could happen in the next few years.

00:50:49 Hurst
Whereas you've gone much more sci-fi and superheroes.

00:50:52 Hurst
Yeah, it's less likely that suddenly there'll be superheroes and a god will come in and destroy half of humanity.

00:50:58 Squirrell
Well, my first sci-fi had us dying under a mountain of rubbish, which I would argue is incredibly likely.

00:51:03 Hurst
Yeah, certainly not in the next five years.

00:51:06 Hurst
that is an interesting show.

00:51:08 Hurst
I've not really considered the Marvel movies because it doesn't feel post-apocalyptic to me, even though technically the rules of the game that one is.

00:51:17 Hurst
Okay, now listen up, everyone.

00:51:21 Hurst
The worst does not count.

00:51:24 Hurst
Stop making it count.

00:51:25 Hurst
Play the game.

00:51:26 Hurst
It's true.

00:51:27 Hurst
And if you're basing it on bad information, then that's to the detriment of humanity.

00:51:32 Hurst
You might be causing an apocalypse.

00:51:34 Hurst
So the worst.

00:51:39 Hurst
The postman.

00:51:40 Hurst
From 1997.

00:51:42 Hurst
Oh, ****.

00:51:43 Hurst
Neither snow nor rain nor nuclear winter shall stop this mailman from delivering mediocrity.

00:51:50 Hurst
Taking place in 2013, about 15 years after a series of unspecified wars, plagues and economic collapses wipe out the US government.

00:51:58 Hurst
Kevin Costner directs and stars in this three hour epic, sorry, epic fail about a drifter who inspires hope in post-apocalyptic America by

00:52:09 Hurst
Delivering the ******* mail.

00:52:11 Squirrell
Yes.

00:52:12 Hurst
A dreadful idea, delivered dreadfully, no pun intended, what Costner thought would be poetic turns into a ponderous sermon padded with monologues, horseback, slow-mo, and the most aggressively beige colour palette in cinema history.

00:52:25 Hurst
Cliff Claven was not the star of Cheers.

00:52:28 Hurst
Why make a three-hour movie about him after the apocalypse?

00:52:32 Hurst
At least two years after Waterworld, which was a contender, it cemented Costner's reign as the patron saint of self-important

00:52:39 Hurst
The apocalypse came, it was mostly speeches.

00:52:42 Hurst
Everyone that was left died of boredom.

00:52:44 Hurst
Budget, about $80 million.

00:52:47 Hurst
It made less than half of that.

00:52:49 Squirrell
It's like 30 or something, wasn't it?

00:52:52 Squirrell
Yeah, Cosner.

00:52:54 Hurst
That's it.

00:52:55 Hurst
Not even giving you a fact about that.

00:52:56 Squirrell
All right, House, my the worst.

00:52:58 Squirrell
It's more modern than yours.

00:52:59 Squirrell
Not that massive amount, that's from 2008.

00:53:01 Squirrell
It's M.

00:53:02 Squirrell
Night Shyamalan's The Happening.

00:53:06 Squirrell
I think we did discuss the rules.

00:53:08 Squirrell
This one starts with the apocalypse in the movie.

00:53:12 Squirrell
So it's not technically all post-apocalypse.

00:53:15 Squirrell
In the same way, I guess, that Battlestar Galactica isn't because you see what caused everything to go a bit wrong.

00:53:20 Squirrell
But The Happening, the ******* what?

00:53:23 Squirrell
It doesn't know what it wants to be.

00:53:25 Squirrell
be, right?

00:53:25 Squirrell
It could have been funny, but they tried to make it serious.

00:53:30 Squirrell
It could have been like camp and fun, but no, we're going to try and pretend this is actually something that might be vaguely possible.

00:53:36 Squirrell
It was really, it wasn't...

00:53:39 Squirrell
terribly acted, but you could tell that the script was so bad that the actors didn't really know how to deliver the lines in it.

00:53:47 Squirrell
They just seemed bewildered for the entire film, much like myself washing it.

00:53:52 Squirrell
And the tone is all over the place and the idea of, spoiler alert, it's the trees and the plants.

00:53:59 Squirrell
Oh no, they're gonna kill us.

00:54:00 Squirrell
I think they started to release some sort of weird chemical which made people start to commit suicide.

00:54:05 Squirrell
And that was the beginning, and the beginning was ******* good.

00:54:07 Squirrell
That was the good bit.

00:54:08 Squirrell
And then you had Martin

00:54:09 Squirrell
Mark and Zooey Deschanel, right?

00:54:12 Squirrell
He was a science teacher.

00:54:14 Squirrell
Okay.

00:54:15 Squirrell
And she was his wife.

00:54:18 Squirrell
Yeah, maybe I can see that.

00:54:19 Squirrell
But anyway, yeah, they kind of figure out what's happening.

00:54:22 Squirrell
Oh, the trees are fighting.

00:54:24 Squirrell
They're releasing airborne toxins.

00:54:27 Squirrell
******* hell.

00:54:28 Squirrell
Oh God, it was bad.

00:54:30 Squirrell
Like none of it made sense.

00:54:31 Squirrell
The ****** pseudoscience is so bad that even my ******* child knew what they were saying was ********.

00:54:37 Squirrell
There was just no tension.

00:54:40 Squirrell
There was no logic.

00:54:41 Squirrell
And yeah, they run away from the wind.

00:54:44 Squirrell
There is, they are ******* there is a sequence where they are running from the wind and having serious conversations.

00:54:54 Squirrell
with a ******* pot plant, which is clearly plastic.

00:55:00 Squirrell
Ah, ****.

00:55:01 Squirrell
And it's not meant to be funny.

00:55:02 Squirrell
They could have made that funny.

00:55:03 Squirrell
It would have been funny as hell.

00:55:04 Squirrell
Someone could have come in at the end, we could make this plastic.

00:55:08 Squirrell
Nope.

00:55:08 Squirrell
That was apparently meant to be a real plant, and it was an important part of what.

00:55:12 Squirrell
**** you, they're happening.

00:55:13 Squirrell
M Night Shyamalan did go downhill fairly quickly.

00:55:17 Squirrell
The kind of, the village was the last potentially acceptable one, I think, in my opinion, that he did.

00:55:22 Squirrell
But yeah, that's it.

00:55:24 Squirrell
That's it.

00:55:25 Squirrell
That'll do.

00:55:26 Squirrell
I've told you what caused the apocalypse.

00:55:28 Squirrell
There's no point in you trying to guess.

00:55:30 Squirrell
******* it was ridiculous.

00:55:31 Hurst
But please, for the good of humanity, don't vote based on it.

00:55:36 Hurst
Vote based on this.

00:55:44 Hurst
For my number one, what I consider to be outside of the Matrix, the greatest post-apocalyptic movie is As Squirrel Mentioned, actually, not very long ago, although they called it I Am Zombie.

00:55:56 Hurst
It's actually...

00:55:58 Hurst
I Am Legend from 2002 starring Will Smith.

00:56:02 Hurst
New York City, empty, grass cracks the pavement, deer sprint through Times Square, and one man, one, hunts, scavenges, and talks to mannequins who chops.

00:56:14 Hurst
I Am Legend opens like an art film and unfolds like a book.

00:56:19 Hurst
Will Smith delivers the performance of his career as Dr.

00:56:22 Hurst
Robert Neville, a virologist who accidentally becomes the last man standing.

00:56:27 Hurst
By day he's methodical, he traps, he radio broadcasts, he experiments, and then by night he is **** scared.

00:56:36 Hurst
The city belongs to the infected, fast, feral, vampire-like shadows of humanity.

00:56:41 Hurst
It is a masterclass in solitude.

00:56:44 Hurst
The film's first half is pure atmosphere, the sound of the wind through

00:56:49 Hurst
skyscrapers, the crackle of an old radio, the whimper of his amazing dog, Sam, who should have a credit.

00:56:56 Hurst
Best bit.

00:56:56 Hurst
The last heartbeat of his sanity, basically, just as anyone who's got dogs, it's like you can imagine being all on your own and then how much difference it would make if you had a dog.

00:57:05 Hurst
Yeah, and when the world finally does intrude, it's absolutely brutal.

00:57:10 Hurst
I Am Legend is only 90 minutes long, which we know that I love.

00:57:14 Hurst
But in that 90 minutes, it has everything.

00:57:19 Hurst
Yeah, it says it's an hour and 40, but that last 10 minutes is credits.

00:57:21 Hurst
It literally is 91 minutes of playtime.

00:57:24 Hurst
But it has like everything.

00:57:26 Hurst
It's got tension, action, love, loss, tears, guaranteed every time.

00:57:31 Hurst
Again, we're outside of the statute of limitations, but I find it difficult to bring myself towards it because of when the dog dies.

00:57:38 Hurst
But

00:57:39 Hurst
At the same time, it's the only film where I know that happens that I can watch again and again because it's just such a great film.

00:57:45 Hurst
It's got the full range of human emotion and some absolutely **** scary zombies slash, like I said, as possible vampires because, you know, they are, they die in the sunlight.

00:57:55 Hurst
They're fast, strong intelligence with a sharp-like ability to smell and track blood.

00:58:00 Hurst
It is a highly intense, but also beautifully acted.

00:58:04 Hurst
Again, I use the word character study because I think when someone plays a part that well, it's like

00:58:09 Hurst
Will Smith in Cast Away, him.

00:58:12 Squirrell
Tom Hanks, my friend, not Will Smith.

00:58:14 Hurst
It's like Tom Hanks in Cast Away, where the whole film hinges on his ability to act and evoke emotion from an audience.

00:58:22 Hurst
Yeah, there are some other casts that pop in the flashbacks and then, you know, the lady and her kid, Anna, and her kid turn up at the end.

00:58:29 Hurst
But the bulk of the film revolves around Will Smith just acting and he does it so well.

00:58:35 Hurst
You believe in it, the whole thing's great, the cinematography bathes ruin

00:58:39 Hurst
in gold.

00:58:40 Hurst
Sun that Decayed never looked quite so beautiful.

00:58:42 Hurst
And he just carries the weight of the whole film on his own.

00:58:45 Hurst
Charisma stripped right down to the bone.

00:58:47 Hurst
Vulnerability shines through every little muttered joke or whispered plea that he makes.

00:58:51 Hurst
It's just brilliantly done.

00:58:53 Hurst
I loved it when it came out.

00:58:54 Hurst
I must have watched it five or six times since.

00:58:56 Hurst
I've watched it again this week because I thought, you know, it's a good excuse to do it.

00:58:59 Hurst
And it's just still so damn good.

00:59:01 Hurst
So, first final thought, I Am Legend isn't about the end of the world.

00:59:05 Hurst
It's about what's left when the noise stops.

00:59:08 Hurst
The apocalypse distills

00:59:09 Hurst
to a single heartbeat and a man's need to make it mean something.

00:59:13 Hurst
And this time we have two fun facts, but one of them is a fun estimated fact.

00:59:20 Squirrell
Oh, let me try and guess which one.

00:59:22 Hurst
Fun fact one.

00:59:24 Hurst
The German Shepherd who played Sam, called Abby, was so beloved on set that Will Smith tried and failed to adopt her after filming.

00:59:32 Hurst
Fun fact, too.

00:59:34 Hurst
The filmmakers built an entire six-block replica of post-apocalypse Manhattan on a disused Brooklyn Navy Yard lot because it was still cheaper than shutting down the areas of Manhattan that they needed for filming.

00:59:47 Squirrell
What year did it come out?

00:59:48 Hurst
2007.

00:59:50 Squirrell
Did they just draw it all?

00:59:52 Squirrell
That would be so much money to rebuild all those houses.

00:59:54 Squirrell
And it would make sense.

00:59:55 Squirrell
Will Smith is obviously an arson after I'm sure to think that he could just have the dog, even though it clearly blocks to someone else's incredibly well-trained animal.

01:00:03 Squirrell
Yeah, I'm going to say that.

01:00:04 Squirrell
Will Smith tried to adopt the dog.

01:00:06 Hurst
He did, in fact, try to adopt the dog and failed.

01:00:10 Hurst
It was.

01:00:11 Hurst
But they did actually shut down large parts of Manhattan, including Fifth Avenue, Washington Square Park and Times Square, but only in short, very tightly controlled bursts, usually a few minutes at dawn.

01:00:21 Squirrell
And I bet it did cost them a ******* fortune.

01:00:24 Hurst
Oh yeah, absolutely.

01:00:25 Hurst
They paid local residents $300 a day to vacate their apartments overlooking Key Street, just in those couple of hours in the morning, just so they could get the eerie empty city shots without any movement in the background.

01:00:36 Squirrell
No mention of the ending, Hurst.

01:00:39 Hurst
No, I didn't mention the ending.

01:00:41 Hurst
It's, yeah, it's...

01:00:44 Squirrell
Yes, but it's wrong.

01:00:45 Squirrell
It's the wrong ******* ending.

01:00:46 Squirrell
That's not how...

01:00:48 Squirrell
The ending, in my opinion, ***** the entire movie.

01:00:51 Squirrell
Like, absolutely.

01:00:52 Squirrell
In the book, which was great, it had the correct ending, where he discovers that the alpha male was only after him because he'd got his...

01:01:01 Squirrell
wife slash mate, whatever you want to call it.

01:01:04 Squirrell
And when he gave her back, they just walked away.

01:01:06 Squirrell
And Will Smith realized that, not Will Smith, whatever he was called, Neville, realized that he was the bad guy.

01:01:11 Squirrell
He was the ******* legend.

01:01:12 Squirrell
That's the whole point of the film.

01:01:14 Squirrell
He was the bad guy in this.

01:01:16 Squirrell
And yes, in Hollywood went, nah, we're just going to have him die and those two can get away.

01:01:22 Hurst
Yeah, I never read the books, so in fairness, so maybe I should, but I still love the film.

01:01:27 Hurst
I mean, maybe I would have loved it best.

01:01:28 Squirrell
It's great until the last five minutes where it just, it's so much better if they recorded the proper ending and you can still see it and it's great.

01:01:37 Hurst
But in fairness, we are rating movies and TV shows.

01:01:40 Squirrell
We are not rating books, you are quite right, and we are rating movies that can't do it right.

01:01:46 Squirrell
We hadn't mentioned that we're not including The Matrix.

01:01:49 Squirrell
That was specified by our Patreon, who I still haven't looked

01:01:52 Squirrell
Yeah, but apologies.

01:01:53 Squirrell
I might robot it in after this.

01:01:55 Squirrell
It was obviously...

01:01:56 Harriet
I looked and I couldn't find it.

01:01:58 Harriet
Sorry.

01:01:59 Squirrell
So there we are.

01:02:00 Squirrell
But yes, we're not counting the Matrix.

01:02:01 Squirrell
So I went over Matrix 2.

01:02:03 Squirrell
No, **** no.

01:02:06 Squirrell
Hey, what was my winning one, Hurst?

01:02:09 Hurst
Your #1 is Mad Max Fury Road.

01:02:10 Squirrell
Of course, it ******* is.

01:02:12 Squirrell
Mad Max Fury Road is one of the most incredible things I've ever had the pleasure of sitting down in front of.

01:02:16 Squirrell
And I love it.

01:02:17 Squirrell
And it's an apocalyptic movie.

01:02:19 Squirrell
So in it goes.

01:02:20 Squirrell
Is it better than The Reentrix?

01:02:22 Squirrell
Don't know.

01:02:22 Squirrell
Don't have to know.

01:02:22 Squirrell
Don't care.

01:02:23 Squirrell
Obviously, it's post-apocalyptic.

01:02:25 Squirrell
We are out of water.

01:02:27 Squirrell
We are out of petrol.

01:02:29 Squirrell
We're out of a lot of things.

01:02:30 Squirrell
There does seem to be food for everybody, but it's kind of ganking and wet, which is actually not what you'd expect if we were running out.

01:02:36 Squirrell
out of water.

01:02:37 Squirrell
Anyway, as Hearst mentioned, Max Rockatansky, just a stupid name, is Drifter.

01:02:44 Squirrell
He somehow has enough food to turn himself into a ******* roiled up nightmare of a human excellent.

01:02:50 Squirrell
And he meets with Furiosa as she betrays the bad guy Morton Joe and takes his wives and his war rig away.

01:02:58 Squirrell
And then it's just, yeah, a car chase that lasts for most of the rest of the movie.

01:03:03 Squirrell
There are brief moments of respite, but they are brief

01:03:06 Squirrell
moments and it is just unstoppable.

01:03:10 Squirrell
Like the war rig itself.

01:03:12 Squirrell
The movie just ******* goes at you for, I don't know, I don't know how long the film was.

01:03:18 Squirrell
******* probably an hour and a half because it's a perfect film.

01:03:20 Hurst
Nearly two hours.

01:03:21 Squirrell
Wow, **** it does not feel like that.

01:03:23 Squirrell
It batters you in the head over and over again with just cars exploding.

01:03:28 Squirrell
And the cars, they look so cool.

01:03:30 Squirrell
They're post-apocalyptic cars, so they've been culled together out of parts of other cars and they're just kind

01:03:36 Squirrell
of roll cage and that's all they are and people can just pop out of well not windows so they don't have glass in but they just pop out holes in the roof and the back and the front it don't matter just ******* car and the people hanging off it don't matter and ******* witness me and now just saying things that aren't going to make sense if you haven't seen the film but ******* silver and chrome oh what a lovely day I love Mad Max as people know because I think I've talked about it before can't remember why but I ******* did it's from 2015 so it's not a 99 really

01:04:06 Squirrell
I can't think why I've mentioned it before, but I have, so there we are.

01:04:10 Hurst
You definitely have.

01:04:12 Squirrell
Filmed in Nambia after, ironically, they couldn't film in Australia due to droughts, which is considering the subject of the movie, you'd think would have helped them.

01:04:19 Squirrell
But no, they had to move it out.

01:04:21 Squirrell
And it was almost a redefinition of what an action film could be, a bit like John Wick would be later on.

01:04:28 Squirrell
It went back to just ******* kinetic storytelling.

01:04:33 Squirrell
There was minimal dialogue.

01:04:35 Squirrell
There was some emotion.

01:04:36 Squirrell
emotion from the characters, the only emotion from the viewer was way constantly and it was kind of a more feminist story and I think that did **** some people off because they're idiots, but they're like, this isn't about Max, it's about Furios.

01:04:49 Squirrell
Yeah, deal with it, ******* losers.

01:04:50 Squirrell
What does that matter?

01:04:51 Squirrell
He's still in it.

01:04:52 Squirrell
Yeah, ******* losers of films.

01:04:54 Squirrell
**** those guys, it's got a ******* dude playing a flame thrower guitar.

01:04:57 Squirrell
What do you want?

01:04:58 Squirrell
Oh, I want more boys.

01:05:00 Squirrell
All right, mate, ******* hell.

01:05:01 Squirrell
Jesus, anyway, brief tangent into ********* there.

01:05:04 Squirrell
The film is just brutal and on and on and on and back to films kind of like Commando, but for Cars.

01:05:12 Squirrell
There we are, Mad Max Fury Road.

01:05:15 Squirrell
*** **** it's good, ******* love it.

01:05:18 Squirrell
Love it, love the black and white version he put out, love it, just all good.

01:05:22 Squirrell
Are you ready for your fact and your estimated fact, Hurst?

01:05:26 Hurst
Hit me.

01:05:27 Squirrell
Charlie's Ferran injured her wrist when she fell out of the war rig during a rehearsal like an idiot.

01:05:32 Squirrell
Fortunately, it was the arm that was going to be replaced in post-production by her robot arm, so they just replaced her green arm sock with a green plaster.

01:05:42 Squirrell
Or...

01:05:43 Squirrell
This was obviously directed by George Miller, and his previous three films were Babe, Pig in the City, Happy Feet, and Happy Feet Two.

01:05:50 Squirrell
Yeah, that one.

01:05:53 Hurst
Yeah, definitely.

01:05:54 Squirrell
I love it.

01:05:55 Squirrell
Yeah, that is too good of a fact to not be a fact.

01:06:00 Squirrell
All right, I mean, yeah.

01:06:03 Squirrell
Babe, Pig in the City to Mad Max.

01:06:05 Squirrell
Like, how, George Miller, how?

01:06:07 Squirrell
I'm clicking my mouse, apologies for those you own.

01:06:09 Squirrell
Guy's got range.

01:06:10 Squirrell
Excellent work from both of us on Fact and Estimate Fact this episode.

01:06:14 Squirrell
Well done us.

01:06:16 Squirrell
And there you are, Rankers.

01:06:17 Squirrell
There are our lists.

01:06:23 Squirrell
Hes, what do we do now?

01:06:24 Hurst
Well, I think we ought to decide what we're going to do in two weeks time by spinning the wheel.

01:06:28 Squirrell
One new thing on the wheel, obviously taking post-apocalyptic things off.

01:06:32 Squirrell
One new thing came in from Meg 98, the top five Girls Loud songs.

01:06:38 Hurst
Christ alive.

01:06:40 Squirrell
She might be trying to capitalise on your love of the Spice Girls.

01:06:44 Squirrell
Do you not like Girls Aloud?

01:06:46 Hurst
No.

01:06:46 Squirrell
That's perfect because I ******* love them.

01:06:49 Squirrell
Shut up, Meg.

01:06:50 Squirrell
Excellent.

01:06:51 Hurst
And spin the wheel.

01:06:53 Squirrell
Here it goes.

01:06:54 Squirrell
All right, what's it going to be?

01:06:57 Squirrell
my God, finally it's happened.

01:07:00 Hurst
Yay, kitchen implements.

01:07:02 Squirrell
The top five kitchen implements.

01:07:05 Hurst
And it's perfect timing because my new kitchen will be complete on Wednesday and we will be moving all of the utensils back in from the shed so I can really investigate up close what all the utensils do and how well designed they are and frankly which ones have got the best names.

01:07:19 Squirrell
So top five kitchen implements came to us from Rachel Brackets the Juggler.

01:07:23 Squirrell
Thanks Rachel Brackets the Juggler.

01:07:25 Squirrell
Yeah.

01:07:25 Squirrell
Remember Patreons if you've.

01:07:27 Squirrell
If you've got something you want to put on the wheel, let us know, because we are chopping them off at an alarming and yet twice as slow rate.

01:07:35 Squirrell
Where's my web tab that tells me how the **** to end these things?

01:07:39 Squirrell
There we go, right here.

01:07:40 Squirrell
What do we say?

01:07:41 Squirrell
We say don't forget to vote.

01:07:43 Squirrell
That's an important thing we say.

01:07:44 Squirrell
Go to our website, www..topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

01:07:48 Squirrell
And I may have redesigned it slightly, so the thing you're voting on is big and at the top.

01:07:52 Squirrell
but maybe you've got to click on the first thing that comes up.

01:07:55 Squirrell
No one's talking to you, Google lady.

01:07:57 Squirrell
Go away.

01:07:58 Squirrell
Anyway, **** it, that can stay in.

01:08:00 Squirrell
Decide which one of us is correct.

01:08:01 Squirrell
That's the most important thing you can do.

01:08:03 Squirrell
The rankers make the decision at the end of the day as to what becomes the official world ranking.

01:08:09 Hurst
Also, the official supporters hub.

01:08:11 Squirrell
Yes, the official supporter hub is a Davpaz Kovach, still paying in dollars, and now Meg 98 as the newest member of the official supporter hub.

01:08:21 Squirrell
Well done, Meg.

01:08:22 Squirrell
Even though she suggested girls allowed us.

01:08:26 Hurst
Yeah, that was a stupid thing to do, but we still love you.

01:08:29 Squirrell
Yes, so do join our Patreon.

01:08:31 Squirrell
It helps Hearst Night out.

01:08:33 Squirrell
It lets you choose which episodes are going to be next.

01:08:36 Squirrell
It pays for the techno bobbins that we do use to record this, even though it might not sound like it.

01:08:43 Squirrell
You know, this **** costs money.

01:08:45 Squirrell
Let's put the wheels down and bring this money to land, Hearst.

01:08:47 Squirrell
Please rate and review this podcast if you have the capability that apparently helps feed the album.

01:08:52 Squirrell
We don't know.

01:08:53 Squirrell
We don't understand that ****.

01:08:54 Squirrell
Probably simpler if you just tell one of your mates, hey, there's these two people that are wrong all the time on the internet.

01:08:59 Squirrell
And they'll be like, well, that's what the internet's for, brav.

01:09:01 Squirrell
And you'll be like, nah, fam, these is well funny.

01:09:04 Squirrell
And they use words that they shouldn't be considering they're both over 40 words like fam.

01:09:08 Hurst
Yes.

01:09:08 Hurst
Do you get me though?

01:09:09 Squirrell
Yeah, I get you.

01:09:10 Squirrell
Say less, my G.

01:09:11 Squirrell
Isn't it?

01:09:12 Squirrell
We're so st.

01:09:13 Squirrell
******* Jesus.

01:09:14 Squirrell
You can contact us by e-mail if you've got something long to say.

01:09:18 Squirrell
Hello at topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

01:09:20 Squirrell
We are on Blue Sky.

01:09:21 Squirrell
I check that occasionally.

01:09:22 Squirrell
We are on Facebook.

01:09:24 Squirrell
You can get in touch on there.

01:09:25 Squirrell
Hurst is normally more active on that one.

01:09:27 Squirrell
And you can leave us comments on Spotify.

01:09:29 Squirrell
I found a comment on Spotify, Hurst, saying that you were indeed a really good neighbour.

01:09:33 Hurst
Oh, yes, of course.

01:09:34 Hurst
Katie.

01:09:35 Squirrell
Hurst, you sell art on the internet.

01:09:37 Squirrell
If I wanted to buy your art, how would I buy one art, please?

01:09:41 Squirrell
What would I do?

01:09:42 Hurst
Well, importantly, you would go to www..dogghouseart.co.uk, but also going and just following me on the likes of Instagram at dog.house.art really helps.

01:09:52 Hurst
because then it will let other people see it, more algorithm stuff that we don't really understand.

01:09:58 Squirrell
Please, Rankers, rewind this podcast for the next person that comes along to listen and we will join you in two weeks time for the top five you can't wait, we can't wait, kitchen implements.

01:10:10 Hurst
Utensils.

01:10:12 Squirrell
I don't care, I'm leaving it.

01:10:14 Squirrell
Bye, Rankers.

01:10:14 Squirrell
Be good.

01:10:16 Hurst
See you later, love you.

01:10:21 Harriet
Top Five Face-Off is presented by Matt Hurst and Matt Squirrel and produced by Powerstorm Awesome Fire Incorporated.

01:10:28 Harriet
For more details and to vote for a winner, visit topfivefaceoff.co.uk.

01:10:34 Squirrell
Thanks for listening.

01:10:50 Harriet
Top Five face-off.

01:10:53 Harriet
Top Five face-off.

01:11:05 Hurst
Well, Squirrel, today we shall be ranking the top five movies or TV shows based in post-apocalypse.

01:11:14 Squirrell
You happy with that?

01:11:15 Hurst
Not really.

01:11:18 Hurst
Every week my face looks redder and redder on that camera.

01:11:22 Squirrell
I'm blaming the camera.

01:11:24 Squirrell
Maybe there's a white balance setting you could adjust somewhere, but you do look power red.

01:11:28 Squirrell
Like I've said something that makes you real angry.

01:11:30 Squirrell
Let me try it out.

01:11:30 Squirrell
Your wife's home.

01:11:33 Squirrell
Brilliant.

01:11:36 Squirrell
There's an outtake that just doesn't work in the audio format, but I might give it to you anyway, Rankers.

01:11:43 Squirrell
and being unable to sleep without being tucked in on all sides, lest I would be pricked and turned into foliage, brackets.

01:11:50 Squirrell
It's a weird film, close brackets.

01:11:52 Hurst
That's why Carly tucks herself in.

01:11:55 Squirrell
Is that true?

01:11:57 Hurst
For fear of getting pricked.

01:12:02 Squirrell
Straight to the outtakes if you.

01:12:10 Squirrell
The slightest brush against me when I'm in the sea made me think I am about to become a particularly tasty Horse Derbies.

01:12:21 Squirrell
Horse Derves.

01:12:25 Hurst
Horse Derbies.

01:12:26 Squirrell
I think they, I think they're not d'euv.

01:12:28 Squirrell
They literally wrote that.

01:12:31 Hurst
Paul's Derby.

01:12:32 Hurst
Nice.

01:12:34 Hurst
That's what I'm calling those from now on.

01:12:37 Hurst
Paul's Derby.

01:12:38 Squirrell
What the ****?

01:12:38 Squirrell
Where did I even get to?

01:12:41 Squirrell
Slightest brushing against me when I'm in the sea.

01:12:48 Hurst
Sounds like a disease.

01:12:50 Squirrell
A disease?

01:12:51 Squirrell
I was just about to say a disease.

01:12:52 Hurst
Paul's Derby.

01:12:53 Squirrell
And especially entertaining racer Ascot.

01:12:59 Squirrell
And here comes Jasmine.

01:13:02 Squirrell
And they're off.

01:13:03 Squirrell
Right behind Crystal.

01:13:07 Squirrell
**** him out of it.

01:13:10 Squirrell
Yeah.

01:13:11 Squirrell
Get ****** Money Slinger.

01:13:16 Squirrell
And get out of context that at the end.

01:13:19 Squirrell
That'll be the last few years.

01:13:21 Squirrell
Get ****** belly slinger.

01:13:28 Hurst
Excellent.

01:13:29 Hurst
So we are now to the important crux of the show where we are doing our votes.

01:13:34 Hurst
But prior to launching into that, we need to decide who's going first.

01:13:38 Hurst
How are we going to do that?

01:13:38 Squirrell
Yes, first I'm going to flip the coin of necessity.

01:13:43 Squirrell
First I'm going to.

01:13:46 Hurst
Flip the coin of horse durvers.

01:13:50 Squirrell
Maybe I am zombie.

01:13:53 Squirrell
I'm going to talk about that in a second.

01:13:54 Hurst
I am zombie.

01:13:57 Squirrell
No, I'm legend.

01:14:05 Hurst
Okay, now listen up, everyone.

01:14:09 Hurst
The worst does not count.

01:14:12 Hurst
Stop making it count.

01:14:14 Hurst
Play the game.

01:14:14 Squirrell
Still trying to make worst happen.

01:14:16 Squirrell
It's not going to happen.

01:14:18 Hurst
Stop trying to make worst happen.

01:14:22 Squirrell
******* love Mean Girls.

01:14:23 Squirrell
It's Mean Girls in an apocalyptic movie in any sense.

01:14:26 Squirrell
I want to get that on in.

01:14:28 Squirrell
It's a Christmas movie.

01:14:29 Hurst
Is it?

01:14:30 Squirrell
Yeah, they do.

01:14:30 Squirrell
They dance.

01:14:32 Squirrell
You know they dance.

01:14:35 Squirrell
The slightest brush against me when I'm in the sea makes me think I'm about to become a particularly tasty horde...

01:14:41 Squirrell
******* no, I can't say it properly.

01:14:44 Squirrell
I can't say horse dairy.

01:14:50 Squirrell
****** sake, Maui.

01:14:54 Hurst
Even by our standards, this one's gone on a long time.